- Joined
- Nov 13, 2015
- Messages
- 12
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- 18
While a ludicrous and funny video, it does emphasis the point of how much more complex interactions are than many people realize, where the right action is difficult to determine.
Instead of a time machine, a PUA has to guess or get hints from the woman's facial expression, body language, comments, and other indicators. In addition to quelling fear, insecurity, and self-doubt in himself. The better a person is at physically "reading" others, often the better the results.
Well, better to say that every time a PUA fails, it's a part of him that dies
Like some concept of forcing yourself into committing a series of "social micro-suicides" (figurately speaking of couse).
it's the bad beliefs, unnecessary nervousness, self-induced failure, cognitive dissonance, internal lack of congruence, and EGO which dies, gradually and slowly.
"internal lack of congruence"
Second and more importantly, it appears to me that you are assuming (implicitly or at least without giving any explicit reason) that whatever aspects of your personality and behavior are eliminated by PUA training/learning are negative ones that you're better off without. You use lots of normative words in your list, like "bad" and "unnecessary" and "failure" and "lack" etc, but there seems to be no reason to take these negative connotations at face value. Put a bit differently, is there any reason to think that whatever qualities you have that don't *immediately* appeal to *most* women as desirable in a mate are worthless or bad qualities?
In this sense, PUA/gamers are granting women vastly more power over them than more conventional approaches to starting relationships.
A lack of congruence means your thoughts, words and actions are not aligned. Put simply, you are unsure of what you desire. If you are unsure of what you desire, you sure won't get it!
You are assuming that what I'm referring to as "bad" is what is unattractive to most women, which is false. Rather, what is "bad" is what brings you away from expressing yourself honestly and taking action.
what is "bad" is what brings you away from expressing yourself honestly and taking action.
If you are tied up in the reactions of women and you base your personality around that, then yes you have failed, PUA or not. Second, calling other approaches "conventional" is doing what you just accused me of - being normative!! Pickup, which simply involves applying learning and improvement to dating and romance rather than random action or what society assumes is best, can be applied to any situation - whether it is a social introduction, online dating, even an arranged marriage. Cold approach, which I think you mean, is not something I would call "unconventional". Guys have been talking to women they don't know since the dawn of time. I've never been but I've heard Italy is a great example of this in practice. It only seems unconventional now to some since there is somewhat of a negative stigma surrounding it.
This asserts that it is always better to express yourself honestly and take action. It may well be true that it is helpful to express yourself honestly and take action quickly in cold approach PUA and in some other areas of life, but it definitely is better to be guarded and act cautiously in others.
My point is that changing yourself in ways that make you better at cold approach (or PU of other sorts) is not necessarily going to make you a better person or make you change in a good way.
But there is no reason (no given reason at least) that everything which makes you better at cold pickup also makes you better at everything and anything else. Most likely (imo) at least some of those changes are undesirable in other contexts.
Sure. It is a social skillset. It will help you in areas which have to do with presenting yourself more effectively, communicating better, and making and building relationships, possibly to the detriment to your goals of ...
First, perfecting cold pickup appears to me to focus on one rather specific social skillset, namely that of making a good, nay great, *quick* and *first* impressions on (mostly) young women. While there is doubtless significant overlap there are also significant differences from other types of social skillsets, including those for building and maintaining long term relationships or, say, impressing your senior colleagues in a corporate teamwork environment.
Second, even the "discipline" and self-mastery you mention, which are very good qualities in most contexts, are not so in all. For example, many truly great artists are completely undisciplined and often extremely conflicted or even tormented souls
Sinapse, is the buddhist enlightenment nirvana thing yours, or is it common in PUA circles?
Your views rock Sinapse. Just wondering, are you still around Tokyo?
Glad you've been enjoying my posts.. Unfortunately, I'll only be around here until Thursday, then I'm off to southeast Asia. I'll be back briefly in June for a couple weeks and then off to Europe. I still plan on posting on my site and hopefully here a bit as well if I have time
Sounds like you are leaving Japan long-term or permanently!?
I'm a little surprised after all you have said about being so into (certain types of) Japanese women and perfecting/tuning your game for them and becoming fluent in Japanese and all. I figured you for a long-term expat here.
Anyway, good luck wherever you go and whatever you'll be doing there. We have not agreed that often, but I have enjoyed reading your posts and participating in the debates they sparked.
-Ww
I'm interested by what you mean by that (what's behind this concept, like how do you get "mastery over your will"? I didn't even think that was possible.it is a discipline, one which requires quite a bit of mastery over yourself and your mind in order to improve at. Perhaps the largest benefit is mastery over your will. It is, in one way of thinking, magickal.