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How to handle falling for your SB?

Such an interesting thread...

I will share my own experience, more on the relationship with escorts than SR (I only had one SR)

When I start seeing a girl many (many) time I tend to end up in a grey area.
In the most extreme case it can be falling deeply in love. I do agree with @MikeH , you need to let it go consciously for it to happen. In the only occurrence where I fell in love, I had a conversation first about my dilemma to let it go with her. She told me life is too short to not enjoy such an amazing feeling, I kind of agreed and fell hard... It didn't end really well but I cannot regret any second of this passion as it was so intense and created lifetime memories.

In a few other occasions, I felt the need to see some girls more and more and kind of built a mental barrier to avoid creating a too strong attachment. The best way to do so is definitely to see each other less or cut short the relationship.

I'm mentioning cases where there are reciprocal feelings. If not, it sounds really bad guys. Letting someone with a material agenda being under your skin is the perfect recipe for disaster. I don't want to be jugemental at all. I'm more thinking about your own good and I know first-hand you cannot reason with your feelings. In any case, it is quite obvious the right course of action is to end the relationship, to delete any email address and phone number and go to the gym or getting out with friends and family. I'm not saying it's easy to do...
Yes!
 
Thanks for your post... yes it ain’t easy and I did really stupid things both before and after the ending. But the last email was actually liberating , in a way I’m thankful. Now that person is dead to me and blocked everywhere. Took 6 months though. She could come back here trolling me again , I don’t give a shit. How did you two ended it , if I may ask?
We all do stupid things... As long as we can learn something from it and it doesn't kill us, I guess it's overall a good thing.
To reply to your question, it's quite hard to establish who dump who. She got very upset about something I said which was very personal. I guess I was caring about her and wanted to protect her. She thought I was too jugemental and controlling. At the same time, I was getting very tired... feeling such intense feeling with her and still being deeply attached to my wife. I had terrible loyalty internal fights. I am not the polyamorous kind....
 
From an escort’s PoV, although I do not judge people for having extramarital affairs, it *does* make you think about whether the client/SD may one day be unfaithful to you even if you were to get together.

Not saying that is how the end result would be, but it is a matter of trust that probably is in the back of any SBs/escort’s mind if they find themselves in a situation where they’re falling for their SD/client.

This obviously doesn’t apply to single SD/clients.

Furthermore, I believe it is extremely problematic that a lot of SDs and clients want to go exclusive when they lack the financial means to do so. Many women go this route because they genuinely enjoy it, can make decent $$$, and can invest that cash into their dreams (i.e. education, business). Asking her to give that up is just unfair.

Even if the SD/client was well off, it would change the power dynamic in the relationship where the former SB/escort would be reliant on the other person for financial support. In some cases that works out, in others not. Resentment can arise from being the person that always pays for everything, or the former SB/escort can develop an inferiority complex from not having financial independence.

Regardless of the guy’s wealth, it’s an extremely tricky situation to balance.

I really hope things work out for you. Love is the greatest feeling in the world: just enjoy ride and remember that everything is temporary.

Are there really so many clients/SDs who want exclusivity ? I would think they are a very small (and probably very delusional) minority...
 
They exist, although there are few who can actually afford it.

That’s interesting. Of course you will tell me that it all depends on the person, place etc... but just out of curiosity at which level of monthly or yearly comp (and other, non-financial conditions) would you seriously consider going exclusive? (Really exclusive)
 
I’d only go exclusive for someone I genuinely adored and had feelings for (client or not!).
Yes, of course and thats the right answer. But say, you adore a guy who is also a client and he proposes X for you to be exclusive , what would be X? (Also I assume it would include lodging , travels together etc)
 
Now how would I know that if the client is the one who proposes X? ;)
Ah ah, smart lady... (y)
ok lets assume X whatever it is , is below your expectation , but you really like the guy and are ready to go for it at Y (plus extra conditions like, say, not being chained to his bed day and night ) . Y=?
(Answer in GBP is ok too, of course)
 
Ah ah, smart lady... (y)
ok lets assume X whatever it is , is below your expectation , but you really like the guy and are ready to go for it at Y (plus extra conditions like, say, not being chained to his bed day and night ) . Y=?
(Answer in GBP is ok too, of course)
@Frenchy i really like you but I completely trust @Emma-Emerio reply. From my many interactions, there is no price to give all your time to someone you feel repulsive. If a woman thinks out of desperation it's ok, she will figure out how terribly wrong she is
 
Let me get back to you once I’ve checked how this prospective guy would feel about me chaining him to the bed day and night.
Lol! Then maybe you should pay him in this case :). Or marry him . Hey I like you Emma , please tell us next time you come to Tokyo! :kiss:
 
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@Frenchy i really like you but I completely trust @Emma-Emerio reply. From my many interactions, there is no price to give all your time to someone you feel repulsive. If a woman thinks out of desperation it's ok, she will figure out how terribly wrong she is

I actually agree with her too (and so with you as well) . My hypothesis includes her really liking the guy.
 
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I actually agree with her too (and so with you as well) . My hypothesis includes her really liking the guy.

Ok what I really want to dig is , as Emma rightly said that some clients want it but very few can afford it, Then what is the level of this « afford »? i’d say the average level of income in the given country, So that its not a trade-off between this and a normal job. Not sure I make sense here but just my gut feeling

Or maybe the same income (or slightly higher) than what the escort/SB made with all the clients/SDs she had during the last year? So that there is no feeling of sacrifice ?
 
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You’re way too cynical. Sometimes it’s also for pure, genuine, heartfelt...

... masochism.

Whatever it is the same applies as to your question here: if you have to ask then you cannot afford it.
 
Whatever it is the same applies as to your question here: if you have to ask then you cannot afford it.
Of course. Thats why if I really like the girl I give her my checkbook and she can write any number she wants. Then, to show I really don’t give a damn about such trivial thing as money, I don’t even look at the figure and burn the check. I’ve burnt billions like that. Easy. That’s how I roll.
 
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People always complain about how relationships or marriage are hard to maintain and takes a lot of work but according to this thread sugaring sounds more complicated :D Personally I know I won’t cope well with the grey areas and the uncertainty of where the relationship stands so I’ve never even attempted to be a SB.
 
Of course. Thats why if I really like the girl I give her my checkbook and she can write any number she wants. Then, to show I really don’t give a damn about such trivial thing as money, I don’t even look at the figure and burn the check. I’ve burnt billions like that. Easy. That’s how I roll.

You are so old fashioned, nobody does that nowadays. As a Modern Man I know everybody uses cash. Because I am a friend I will fax you the instructions how to do that.
 
You are so old fashioned, nobody does that nowadays. As a Modern Man I know everybody uses cash. Because I am a friend I will fax you the instructions how to do that.
The modern thing to do would be to burn a credit card but it’s a bit stinky. Anyway, as for cash I don’t need any faxed instructions, all frenchies from my generation fondly remember Serge Gainsbourg burning the then equivalent of one escort session , in front of millions of people on TV.... A classic.

 
People always complain about how relationships or marriage are hard to maintain and takes a lot of work but according to this thread sugaring sounds more complicated :D Personally I know I won’t cope well with the grey areas and the uncertainty of where the relationship stands so I’ve never even attempted to be a SB.
It may sound more complicated in the rare cases when it does get « grey », which is what this thread is about. And it could happen between escorts and some long-term clients as well, I suppose.
But no, even in the worst case of SR its still more complicated to endure a failing marriage, ime.
 
I talk about the traditional marriage. Which is for land, money or power.

Or huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge.... tracts o' land.

 
So I met an adorable SB, we have great chemistry, always have good times when we are together about once or twice a week. She is much younger than I, less than half my age. And we've been sugar dating about 4 months now.

I have no illusions that we could ever have real bf/gf relationship. And I'm not trying to figure out a plan on how she can be my real girlfriend. The problem is that I'm starting to have some romantic feelings for her. I suppose its natural to begin to have these feelings with someone that is sweet to you and that you are intimate with on a regular basis. But those one sided romantic feelings are making me uncomfortable, a bit jealous, making me imagine things about her. I've talked to her about how I feel without trying to make a big deal about it. She has been very gentle and understanding. But basically said she has a hard time having romantic feelings for anyone including me.

Anyone have advice on how I temper these feelings? I understand the situation and what logically, my expectations should be. Im concerned my feelings for her will get out of control and spoil what we have. I really do not want to stop seeing her.

I imagine this also happens the other way around, where the SB falls for the SD.
Would be great to hear how SB's handle this, both ways.

I'll toss in my opinion. As I've written before, embrace the feeling. I'm dating someone who is less than half my age right now, so I think I know where you're coming from. I'm going to guess you're saying you could never have a real bf/gf relationship because of the age difference, not because you are already married with kids. Try approaching your relationship, not as something lifelong, but for the next X years, and you two can decide then whether to continue or not. For me, that makes it feel more manageable. Yes, you are going to fall for her and yes you are going to feel bad when it ends. I had a relationship like this end after a year and I cried for the first time in decades and felt down for a couple of months. When we started dating, I also knew it wouldn't last forever and I asked her to end it in a certain way when that time came, and she did just that.
After about 6 months of not dating, I started again and found my current girlfriend. I'm prepared for it to last less than my lifetime. But I don't want to get any less than all the joy I can out of it, even though that means sadness will come someday. Who knows - you two might stay together. There are people out there who marry/have partners who are much different in age. Maybe you're exactly who it turns out she needs.
Good luck fellow traveler, from someone on the same road
 
I asked her to end it in a certain way when that time came, and she did just that.

I’m curious, how did you ask her to end it?

I know I posted that my SR would end soon. I even renewed my premium SA membership and been looking for another POT. But its really hard to find a good SB in my City. So for now I will still see my current. She just disappoints me sometimes. Frenchy posted about why SBs take so long to respond to texts. This is happening again, even though I complained to her about it before. She made an effort for a few weeks, then back to the delayed responses again the last couple weeks. And I know she is on FB messenger because I can see the green dot. She will have some excuse like usual. Ugh, I dont get why she cant even fake it, it takes so little effort to make me happy.
 
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