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How to make friends?

Brightluck

Brightluck

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Hello everyone!

I've recently moved to Osaka under the Working holiday visa, and I'm having trouble finding friends and acquaintances.

Both the people of my school and baito are just too different, we can't share hobbies.

People here seems pretty open minded (even if I already found someone who I detest), o I guess you can share good ideas.

Thanks in advance :)
 
I don’t know what your hobbies are but try to find communities there. If you okay sports, enroll in a sports club or so. That’s the easiest way to make friends. They are all there because they like doing it. That’s how I made my current friends.
 
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Actually I tried this:
I'm an amateur musician, so I tried to form a band, but I got no response at all.
And when I replied to people looking for musicians, I got a very cold reply always.

Now I'm checking the meetup thing but honestly I'd prefer making Japanese friends as Im here to learn the language.
 
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I must confess I never went to a pub alone, is it normal to talk to anyone out of the blue?
 
Meetup really is a good way to meet others without having to reveal much about yourself. Many Japanese use it too, so you'll probably be able to practise your language skills while getting to know people.
 
People take bands and playing music pretty seriously in Japan - they really think things over before they "commit" to being in a band.

I've never had a Working Holiday visa (not available for my country) but I think they're 18 months, right? If you want to get things rolling I'd say just start going to shows with local bands. They're not cheap - even a low-priced show is usually 2000 yen or so - but if you find a scene you like and go to the shows regularly you'll probably make some friends pretty quickly. After you get to know some people and people get to know you it will be much, much easier to try and find some guys to play with.

If your Japanese is somewhat decent you can try the musician wanted ads - there are usually a bunch posted up at rehearsal studios - but it sounds like maybe those weren't working out. Sometimes studios or live houses also have workshops on specific topics - those can also be a good way to meet people who are interested in collaborating on things.

But overall just be prepared to spend more time at this than you would in your home country - it can take a while to build up a network.
 
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Give language exchange a try.
mylanguageexchange.com is one of the better ones.

Write in your profile you want to meet up once a week in a starbucks nearby for language exchange and that you're serious about improving your japanese. Set your expectations to zero and just go with the flow. If you have something in common great. Ifnot consider it a free lesson. Can't lose.

Received alot of reponse. Never imagined someone would want to learn english from a non-native and also didn't think people would be interested in learning dutch. I was pleasantly surprised! :)

Brightluck said:
People here seems pretty open minded (even if I already found someone who I detest), o I guess you can share good ideas.
Click to expand...

Do tell more! :p
 
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BIPSY said:
People take bands and playing music pretty seriously in Japan - they really think things over before they "commit" to being in a band.

I've never had a Working Holiday visa (not available for my country) but I think they're 18 months, right? If you want to get things rolling I'd say just start going to shows with local bands. They're not cheap - even a low-priced show is usually 2000 yen or so - but if you find a scene you like and go to the shows regularly you'll probably make some friends pretty quickly. After you get to know some people and people get to know you it will be much, much easier to try and find some guys to play with.

If your Japanese is somewhat decent you can try the musician wanted ads - there are usually a bunch posted up at rehearsal studios - but it sounds like maybe those weren't working out. Sometimes studios or live houses also have workshops on specific topics - those can also be a good way to meet people who are interested in collaborating on things.

But overall just be prepared to spend more time at this than you would in your home country - it can take a while to build up a network.
Click to expand...

Thanks!
My japaneses is between N4 - N5: I can have a simple conversation, but still there's a lot of vocabulary I don't know.
Anyway, I already post a message on an musicians BBS, but not many replies.
I do go to some gigs, but people here is not talkative so far xD

LeonGRAY said:
Give language exchange a try.
mylanguageexchange.com is one of the better ones.

Write in your profile you want to meet up once a week in a starbucks nearby for language exchange and that you're serious about improving your japanese. Set your expectations to zero and just go with the flow. If you have something in common great. Ifnot consider it a free lesson. Can't lose.

Received alot of reponse. Never imagined someone would want to learn english from a non-native and also didn't think people would be interested in learning dutch. I was pleasantly surprised! :)



Do tell more! :p
Click to expand...

Sounds like a good idea!
I'll check that too. Also, being free it's a no brained. Thanks for the idea :)

Ps: About that guy, it's the PUA master of TAG - someone that in my home country would be already beat by the girls and probably in jail for molestation.
 
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Try out some different scenes or venues - some scenes are just way insular and not too open to new blood.

It really varies a lot year by year and region to region - what’s popular in Tokyo could be a ghost town in Osaka, etc.

Once you find one that seems cool you’ll probably need to take a month or so to get to know people but it’s worth it.

I speak from experience having done this exact same thing when I first moved here - in half a year I went from knowing nobody to playing in a band with friends and hanging out every week. Almost 15 years on and I’m still friends with some of those guys.
 
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I've been pretty good with making female friends in Japan. Male friends though... other than a couple of my coworkers... not really. I do wish sometimes I had a good male friend I could go have a beer with somewhere at night in Tokyo.

But yeah, Pub Crawl is a good way to start. I met some people there when I first moved to Japan and Meetup is great in general because you can meet tons of Japanese people and foreigners too and a lot of them speak some English.
 
Made most of my friends here through Eikaiwa, going to the Tohoku region after the earthquake a few times, and participating in cultural activities like playing Japanese drums and dancing at festivals.

These friends introduce me to their friends, and those new friends introduce me to their friends, and so on.

Outside of that, hard as hell.
 
What's depressing is how easy it is to make ugly friends.
Which is why I don't need friends.
If a friend isn't remotely fuckable then she can't become a friend in the first place.
Male friends? They will forget everything about you once they find a wet pussy.
No need to bother.
 
You can try using the Tandem app to meet language exchange buddies and see if that works for you.
 
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TheScientist said:
The answer to that seems to be generational. People my age tend to have no problems going to an event or public place by themselves and striking up conversations. Younger folk these days seem to live in deathly fear of either.
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I have no problem doing that either.
or maybe I'm not young anymore :(
 
Are you sure it's not a Japan thing? Whenever I've hung out in places where tourists are drinking, I have no problem striking up a conversation with anyone of any age, gender, nationality, etc. But to do the same with a Japanese person, whilst not impossible, just seems more difficult cos it appears 'improper'.

Well, at any rate that's been my experience
 
ARajOne said:
Are you sure it's not a Japan thing? Whenever I've hung out in places where tourists are drinking, I have no problem striking up a conversation with anyone of any age, gender, nationality, etc. But to do the same with a Japanese person, whilst not impossible, just seems more difficult cos it appears 'improper'.

Well, at any rate that's been my experience
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People in Japan usually go out with friends or because they like the barstaff at a certain place, not to mingle with strangers.
 
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