How to make things progress

[kippered]

Evening all. I've never been very confident when it comes down to dates. I've had a lot and had multiple relationships in the past, but I'm struggling with how to progress things someone I've been seeing lately. We've seen each other three times now - a fourth date coming up on Sunday - and I definitely like her and would like things to be an established relationship (and of course, sex would be nice wouldnt it?). I'm just at a total loss at how to have it happen with this girl.

Usually after dates I can tell what a woman is thinking and how she's feeling towards me, but with this one it's a total blank slate, I've no idea what she's thinking. I know through conversation that a relationship is what she's looking for and it IS a super good sign that she's been consistently seeing me. I just don't know what to say to her, because I feel a little vulnerable putting myself out there whilst not knowing what she's thinking at all.

She's Japanese but her attitude seems pretty western, so any ideas lads?

 

[MikeH]

I feel a little vulnerable putting myself out there whilst not knowing what she's thinking at all.

Well, if you are looking for a long-term serious relationship I don't see any other options than one of you taking the leap to the dark. Usually it has been the guy's responsibility to do so.

So if you really want something to happen you need to man up and jump.

 

[kippered]

Well, if you are looking for a long-term serious relationship I don't see any other options than one of you taking the leap to the dark. Usually it has been the guy's responsibility to do so.

So if you really want something to happen you need to man up and jump.

Oh aye, I know I need to do the thing, I just don't know what's the best way of going about it with Japanese women. Just come right out and say it?

 

[newbie]

A rule that I try to follow, always assume that every girl you're interested in is interested in you until she indicates otherwise. Just take her to a love hotel or ask her to be your gf(depending on what you want). She may say no, but then you don't have to worry about it anymore

 

[newbie]

Oh aye, I know I need to do the thing, I just don't know what's the best way of going about it with Japanese women. Just come right out and say it?

Is she a relatively young normal Japanese girl? If so and you feel close enough to her, just do the "love confession" thing

 

[Spartacus77]

Welcome to the wonderful world of trying to date Japanese women. I’d say look at the signs. If signs point to no, and yet you continue to ignore them, you’ll feel like an idiot.

Been there and done that. Not with a Japanese girl, but similar situation with a girl reluctant to go where I wanted to go.

Make your intentions clear. I think with Japanese girls, you have to be direct. Tell her what you want. I want sex. If she rebuffs you, move on. If she says yes, enjoy.

 

[ShowaJidai]

The way I generally take that step is tell her "I would like to be somewhere alone with you". If she asks why I say "I want to talk about sone things in private - without all these people around us".

 

[Desktop]

Stay out too late, don’t look at your phone for time & miss the train.

 

[just4fun]

Bill Cosby always seems to work...........

 

[MongerInAStrLnd]

I'd tend to assume she's waiting for kokuhaku before getting physical. Not doing this has tripped me up in the past.

 

[Desktop]

Your post doesn’t really provide any info of going from where to progressing to the point of having a sexual relationship.
What did you do on 4 dates? Have coffee then she left, are you at least holding hands or getting a kiss good nite?
Some ladies meet with foreigners to practice English with no intention of anything else.

 

[LeonGRAY]

You already know what to do. You need to grow a dick. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't agree to go on a 4th date. So don't overthink too much and just tell her what you want.

She's Japanese but her attitude seems pretty western, so any ideas lads?

She probably had 20+ foreign boyfriends before you. You met on Tinder or those english sites? (Japancupid, Okcupid etc.) these are known for gaijin hunters.

 

[mr roboto]

I guess when you date her you are going to more than one place. Pick a restaurant for dinner close to Love hotel location. After dinner just tell her you want to go to a quite place with her. Don't need to explain more, she probably know what you mean but will never say it.
When you walk toward the hotel just tell her let's go.
I had many similar experience in past, many J-girl really wait for you to take all initiative

 

[MikeH]

I had many similar experience in past, many J-girl really wait for you to take all initiative

Well, the waiting game is a win-win for them. If you don't try to take it to the next level they will be happy to dine for free with you for ever.