How to start a conversation, to whom you meet everyday when commuting.

[Yuriko]

I meet this young western father and a double cultured beautiful daughter, with a dog pretty much everyday on my way to work on a street.
I never saw their mother. Could be separated, or I don't know.

I noticed they are watching me for sometimes, esp. his beautiful primary school daughter. I almost wanted to smile her back or wave hand, or say good morning to them, and her father looks at me too, but I'm not brave enough to make a straight eye contact to a stranger...

You guys know that, Japanese hardly make an eye contact, these days which is very, very bad thing. I do make an eye contact to my clients I meet, or my boss, my colleagues or friends, peops I talk to. But, I'm not good at this situation.
Maybe I should drop something if front of them? lol.

My mother was very good at making friends with non Japanese, even on a street! But I'm more shy, maybe...

Should I make a move?? or wait until the guy makes a move to talk to me and say, Ohayogozaimasu, or something?

What do you think?

 

[e-smile]

I almost wanted to smile her back or wave hand, or say good morning to them, and her father looks at me too, but I'm not brave enough to make a straight eye contact to a stranger...

Should I make a move?? or wait until the guy makes a move to talk to me and say, Ohayogozaimasu, or something?

What do you think?

of course you should.
why not do something you want to do when there is nothing wrong about it ?

let me repeat that : there is nothing wrong about it.

 

[Yuriko]

of course you should.
why not do something you want to do when there is nothing wrong about it ?

let me repeat that : there is nothing wrong about it.

Thank you for cnfirming, that there is nothing wrong about it. (*´꒳`*)
I wonder is there any guys ended up becoming friends or GF met on a street, or on a train when commuting. That must be a challenge, right? Who made the move?

 

[SugoiBoy]

Saying something nice to his child or about his child could be an innocent ice-breaker.

 

[TheScientist]

Maybe I should drop something if front of them? lol.

Most men won't figure out that this is supposed to be a conversation starter. Even if he does figure it out, if he's with his daughter he may hold back.

If you see them frequently, just start by smiling and waving at them and then move to saying hello. Something simple like "I see you all the time, your daughter is so cute" kind of thing.

 

[SugoiBoy]

Depending upon the exact circumstances, even a kind comment about the dog could be effective.

 

[AngelicBlight]

If it was me, I'd just try to get the child's attention somehow and bend to my knees and compliment the child and the father
say something about how my girlfriend loves children or something so that the father/mother knows you're not shady.
お子様とちょっと話した後お父さんの前に子供を褒めてもいいじゃん。

 

[e-smile]

Thank you for cnfirming, that there is nothing wrong about it. (*´꒳`*)
I wonder is there any guys ended up becoming friends or GF met on a street, or on a train when commuting. That must be a challenge, right? Who made the move?

it's pretty common in my home country.

as far as it concerns the first move I thing the girls are the ones who made the first move, but that's because I'm counting body language as a move. Every time I went to speak with a girl it was because I had signs from her showing interest, so even if they won't admit it I think they made the first move with those signs.

anyway I wouldn't take it a challenge if I was you (wanted to say "if I were you" because it sounds better but I think it's wrong). he's with his daughter so the first step won't have any heavy significance. you can say "hi" to to the girl and you'd get closer but there will still be possibilities of paths (mere acquaintances, friendship or more than that). don't put yourself under pressure and don't think too much.

 

[krdxgm69]

Or maybe that person doen't wish to be disturbed while commuting with his daughter.

 

[e-smile]

Or maybe that person doen't wish to be disturbed while commuting with his daughter.

a smile or a "hi" to his daughter isn't much of a disturbance.

 

[krdxgm69]

a smile or a "hi" to his daughter isn't much of a disturbance.

I would consider it as a disturbance, if there his no reason.

 

[Yuriko]

Saying something nice to his child or about his child could be an innocent ice-breaker.

Hai! That sounds like a good idea. Well, I guess Ohayo! to start with maybe. (*´꒳`*)

 

[Yuriko]

Most men won't figure out that this is supposed to be a conversation starter.

> Well, got this idea watching by "Matthew Hussey dating coach video" in the past. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
But I see them pretty often, so I guess if they were keen on wanting to talk, maybe it's worth trying?

But I do have experience that I dropped my suica on a train, by the time I was about to get off the train, and a nice, friendly OL kindly mentioned " you dropped it!" with a nice smile. I politely smiled back at her and said thank you" She also smiled back at me. Off course, this action wasn't a conversation starter, as it was a busy commuting time, plus it was the only time I saw that person. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

>If you see them frequently, just start by smiling and waving at them and then move to saying hello. Something simple like "I see you all the time, your daughter is so cute" kind of thing.

Thanks for your advice!!!

 

[Yuriko]

Thanks for your advice!!!

Sorry, I inserted my comment in your quote...

 

[Yuriko]

it's pretty common in my home country.

as far as it concerns the first move I thing the girls are the ones who made the first move, but that's because I'm counting body language as a move. Every time I went to speak with a girl it was because I had signs from her showing interest, so even if they won't admit it I think they made the first move with those signs.

anyway I wouldn't take it a challenge if I was you (wanted to say "if I were you" because it sounds better but I think it's wrong). he's with his daughter so the first step won't have any heavy significance. you can say "hi" to to the girl and you'd get closer but there will still be possibilities of paths (mere acquaintances, friendship or more than that). don't put yourself under pressure and don't think too much.

I see. I wish I grew up in the country has a custom like yours!!
Yeah, I would say "Hi" or "Ohayo" waving my hand, with a smile, maybe a good start. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

So, body language, a message saying "I'm open to start communicating with you" maybe important??Well noted! I meet lots of nice guys on trains, or at a restaurant, can't make an eye contact to guys even I thought they're hot. They turn out just an eye candies...ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

 

[Yuriko]

Or maybe that person doen't wish to be disturbed while commuting with his daughter.

That's what I first thought. Or maybe they are thinking that way of me, the other way round!
But they are taking a glance from time to time.
I shouldn't be like one of the cold Japanese ladies...

 

[Yuriko]

I would consider it as a disturbance, if there his no reason.

There is for this case. They look at me for sometimes. I noticed it but I never smiled at them..

 

[Yuriko]

If it was me, I'd just try to get the child's attention somehow and bend to my knees and compliment the child and the father
say something about how my girlfriend loves children or something so that the father/mother knows you're not shady.
お子様とちょっと話した後お父さんの前に子供を褒めてもいいじゃん。

Thank you for thinking what you would do. (*´꒳`*)
いつも、軽く手振ったり、声かけたいな、って思うけど、自分は無言で音楽聴きながら通り過ぎるだけ。。。去年の秋ぐらいからかな、ずっとこう。。。

 

[Yuriko]

Depending upon the exact circumstances, even a kind comment about the dog could be effective.

Sometimes I do say hi to a dog, if the dog comes and sniffs at me. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔwell noted! Thanks for the advice!

 

[krdxgm69]

There is for this case. They look at me for sometimes. I noticed it but I never smiled at them..

In that case, smile in return, right. And again the next time. And so on.

 

[Yuriko]

In that case, smile in return, right. And again the next time. And so on.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[User#8628]

A little off topic but i am surprised at how normal it is to make contact and play with someone else's child in Japan. I've been on sugar dates with much older Japanese guys and many times when we see a cute child and i point it out to them and the child maybe also looks at me because i am western, they would wave or go up to the child and do some regular head patting or small games you do with children and the moms would be so nice to us and make their child say hi, while in my country i think they would be grossed out and scared of pedophilia.

 

[AngelicBlight]

多分こういうものは人による。。。僕は気軽にレジの人と話したり、道に歩いている人に道案内助けを聞いた事がいっぱいあるから緊張しない。次そういう事した時（買い物やホームで待っている間）隣の人かレジを働いている方に少しい話したら？そんなに難しくないと思うよ：）　（日本語をよう喋らない僕でもできるから簡単だよ！）

It might depend a bit on the person... I personally don't find anything wrong with talking to people on the street (even kids) but that's beacuse when i first came here I practiced learning at bars and cafes so I was fine with that. Maybe next time you're at the cafe, bar, shopping, or waiting for a train, maybe you can open up a bit and talk to them. Little by little you'll find it gets easier!

 

[TheScientist]

while in my country i think they would be grossed out and scared of pedophilia.

One more example of why I prefer this country.

 

[Yuriko]

A little off topic but i am surprised at how normal it is to make contact and play with someone else's child in Japan. I've been on sugar dates with much older Japanese guys and many times when we see a cute child and i point it out to them and the child maybe also looks at me because i am western, they would wave or go up to the child and do some regular head patting or small games you do with children and the moms would be so nice to us and make their child say hi, while in my country i think they would be grossed out and scared of pedophilia.

I think that's because in Japan, people are trying to learn English. And with such a beautiful person like you, all children may want to say hi. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔSure, it's a different custom. I guess that's "East meets West" moment. (*´꒳`*) I can imagine, would be very different reaction in other Western countrges.

I have the oposit experience, when I was with an Indian client, I saw a blond girl, probably 2 year oldish, in a baby stroller, with her nanny. She bravely waved at us. So, we waved her back smiling. She'll grow up to be a very friendly girl! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ