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How to start a conversation, to whom you meet everyday when commuting.

AngelicBlight said:
多分こういうものは人による。。。僕は気軽にレジの人と話したり、道に歩いている人に道案内助けを聞いた事がいっぱいあるから緊張しない。次そういう事した時（買い物やホームで待っている間）隣の人かレジを働いている方に少しい話したら？そんなに難しくないと思うよ：）　（日本語をよう喋らない僕でもできるから簡単だよ！）

It might depend a bit on the person... I personally don't find anything wrong with talking to people on the street (even kids) but that's beacuse when i first came here I practiced learning at bars and cafes so I was fine with that. Maybe next time you're at the cafe, bar, shopping, or waiting for a train, maybe you can open up a bit and talk to them. Little by little you'll find it gets easier!
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I would only say if something come up. But, I do have an experience I bravely joined the coversation of guys and a lady from Kyoto, going for their company group offshore trip to Hong Kong .They sounded really funny, I just happened to praise them how amusing to observe their conversation from behind. I asked them where did they come from. It was just time killing conversation at the long custom queue!

But usually, I don't spk to strangers, only if there was a significant reason.

A supermarket counter veteran lady was very friendly to me, noticing whenever I showed up she went like, "otsukaresama desu'" with a lovely smile. I don't sed her anymore, but that was a rare case. Shop registers hardly see my face, they only see our hands when giving change. Is there getting new rules in Tokyo, that we shouldn't lomk into customers eyes, or something? I think, it's pretty rude, but I guess, it's no use and happens to be that way? shoganai??
 
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From my experience in waiting, I can tell you that we're trained not to look too much at the customers eyes, unless they are directly talking to us, since that can be intimidating, but we were trained to be open and nice to the customers if they talked to us. Its kinda hit or miss, like I might talk to the cash register lady and they might try to dismiss me, maybe they're just not open to conversation, so I say excuse me and carry on. Worst that can happen from you talking to the kid is that the Dad shoos you away, then you say sorry for taking your time and walk away.
 
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Yuriko said:
I see. I wish I grew up in the country has a custom like yours!!
Yeah, I would say "Hi" or "Ohayo" waving my hand, with a smile, maybe a good start. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

So, body language, a message saying "I'm open to start communicating with you" maybe important??Well noted! I meet lots of nice guys on trains, or at a restaurant, can't make an eye contact to guys even I thought they're hot. They turn out just an eye candies...ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
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You said that your mother can easily make friends with foreigners and that's something I've noticed when I first came in Japan. The elders where the most open ones and the only one starting casually a conversation with me in common spaces. When I was in France it was the opposite, young people were open to foreigners and the elders withdrawn and less friendly.
 
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Yuriko said:
But usually, I don't spk to strangers, only if there was a significant reason.
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The key is to create the "significant reason." Find something about the other person and take a genuine interest in it, and ask about it. For example, I get a lot of mileage from technology. If I see a woman with an immense smartphone, I may say, "Wow, that phone is huge! What model is it?" Many people are proud of their phones for some reason, and so often I'll get a complete tour of the phone and all its key features. I'll keep interjecting things like, "Wow, that is truly a beautiful screen. Such colors!" There are lots of other possibilities, such as if someone is reading a physical book whose title you can see, or has a recognizable anime character painted on her fingernails, etc. Of course, it's mostly just to see if the other person has any interest in conversing. If after thirty or sixty seconds it becomes clearer that the other person would rather go back to his or her phone / book, etc., then I break off with a smile.
 
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I'm from the States and would think that a western guy would be welcome to a "hello" or "good morning". I've been in Japan for close to 18 years so I've gotten used to the no eye contact or greeting. Usually people in the neighborhood I say "hello" to but would rarely do it to a stranger. Btw, I look Japanese so blend in with the crowd.

It always surprises me when I go back to the States because strangers will greet me. Especially in the elevator it's easy to start a conversation. Cashiers are always talkative. It's a nice change of pace.
 
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I gave some chics some souvenirs and broke the ice. Got one to go to dinner and the other to start texting me. Where something that makes them approach you. Other than that just think of something that you want to say and say it and then go from there. But I break all the rules.

Like I know this guy likes Jazz so I wear Jazz shirts. Then because I want access to a Jazz bar that is off limits I talk to him about said Jazz bar, then later get the new friend to go with me there and the doorman will let me in. Ha ha! Had to do that once. Here I had a motive and a plan and it worked out. Stayed friends with the old chap and sometimes we talk about the current state of Jazz. So bring attention to yourself and let them make the move. Finally, as this one chic did to me, take your finger and poke them in the back. Lol I had a Japanese person do that to me for a week or so. Then I said something and she then introduced herself. Funny.

Now since I am unemployed and doing odd jobs, I noticed that smiling seems to be another indirect way to get people to talk to you.

My two cents anyways.
 
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Yuriko said:
Thank you for cnfirming, that there is nothing wrong about it. (*´꒳`*)
I wonder is there any guys ended up becoming friends or GF met on a street, or on a train when commuting. That must be a challenge, right? Who made the move?
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Most of my girlfriends have been met on the train or street.. Yeah getting the courage can talk to them can be tough, but you just gotta do it! Life is too short for regrets (^^)
 
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Hofmeyer said:
Buy some beef jerky and ask them if you can feed their dog a little next time he comes to greet you.
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Great gambit, but some dog treats would be better (jerky is salty and spicy, many dogs don't like it, and some of the spices are toxic to dogs). I often have some in my bag for my neighbour's dogs, so it's not too weird to have a few on hand.
 
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I noticed that children were very outgoing in Japan. I had a group of children say hello to me in English which was adorable. There were also many smaller children on the trains who looked pretty inquisitively at me on the train or waved.

It seemed like the only time I had organic conversations with people while in Tokyo with complete strangers was when I was drinking at bars.

Very different from where I'm from where people will strike up conversation on the train or in lines or whatnot
 
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RoboReptar said:
I noticed that children were very outgoing in Japan. I had a group of children say hello to me in English which was adorable. There were also many smaller children on the trains who looked pretty inquisitively at me on the train or waved.

It seemed like the only time I had organic conversations with people while in Tokyo with complete strangers was when I was drinking at bars.

Very different from where I'm from where people will strike up conversation on the train or in lines or whatnot
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Thanks for sharing your interesting moment with small children or people's contact, whilst you were in Japan. I'm glad you got nice memory back with you!
 
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If you haven't made a move yet you should. My business partner talks about encounters like this once in awhile. Sometimes you have to put your japanese culture aside and just be human. What I mean is you have to let go of your conservative side and be more outgoing. Worst case scenario you don't get a smile back or a hello. Small price to pay in my opinion. I'm rooting for you Yuriko :) don't be afraid.
 
krdxgm69 said:
I see any incompatibility between both.
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Thanks for quoting me on this on. I didn't realize I wrote something offensive. I had a thought in my head that translated really poorly when I wrote that message. Sometimes I get complimented by not acting Swedish, it's not meant to bash your own nationality. People use it when you act different, but in a good way. So when Yuriko wanted to smile or say hello to them which would not be normal for her my suggestion was just to act a little different :) got a bit lost in translation I guess...
 
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