I Am Retiring From Mongering

J

johnnyboy84

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Hey guys,

I just want to make the official announcement at a month from my 31st birthday. I have decided to retire from mongering. It's over. Yes, money is a fraction of it. No, I am not going broke. I'm ok. Yes, health is also a factor but I'm ok.

I have met a very special person and I do like her a lot. We're the same age and we do connect to each other in a way that I don't connect with other girls. I want this to work out for me. And I think she is worth quitting. I have not had a serious relationship in 4 years. Many of my relationships have been intense, but not stable and I want this to be the opposite. I'm almost 31 and just really want to settle down. I have had more than enough of my share of fun.

I told this to a girl I would monger to earlier this month and she kind of flipped out on me by telling me that she's a better woman for me than her. Then she told me she was just messing around. She really had me for a moment. Thankfully she says she understands and told me she hated to lose a customer like me after 3 years.

I want to take it slow but I also want to take it fast. With my last serious relationship, I took things maybe a little too slow but this girl may want to take things slow but I will try to figure things out day by day.

I will still be here to share my experiences.

The only thing that will bring me back to the game is if this relationship ends. And I feel like my play time is over after hundreds of girls and 5 AV stars.
 
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Kurumi quit pururungang after January. She told me she wanted to go back to school.

Porn career is on hold unless things with this girl doesn't work out and I really want it to work.

It's not what happened to Kurumi and all that, more of a case of what happened to me. My life has been in the shitter these past few months for countless reasons. Let's say the last time I went out to have some fun, I was feeling very empty (at least the girl gave me the courtesy to listen to me and I needed someone in a more emotional sense than in a physical sense) and then I met this really nice girl who has been managing to restore whatever humanity I lost.
 
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Good, for you I hope things work out and you get back onto a higher mental street of health!
 
After yesterday at work, I just really feel down now. I am getting results but they hate my methods. Not like I am playing dirty to win. Plus, I am now working a job I did not want to do to begin with. I was initially hired to do this job I really wanted to do, but they cancelled my hiring before any paperwork could be signed and then I was forced (ok, maybe not forced but at the last second it was the only choice I had) into this shitty ass job and I fucking hate it now
 
ブラック企業: 日本へようこそ
 
You are right to share your work troubles with us rather than with the pristine girlfriend or the quitted providers
 
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I'm so happy for you that you've met someone! It's always hard for a provider when a long-term client meets someone and quits the game, but you're happy for them even though you're sad you're never going to see them again (and no, it's definitely not all or even mostly about the money at that point). Good luck with everything. :)
 
johnnyboy84 said:
I have met a very special person and I do like her a lot. We're the same age and we do connect to each other in a way that I don't connect with other girls. I want this to work out for me. And I think she is worth quitting. I have not had a serious relationship in 4 years. Many of my relationships have been intense, but not stable and I want this to be the opposite. I'm almost 31 and just really want to settle down. I have had more than enough of my share of fun.
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Hello,

I read a lot of your reviews and it is my first time posting on this forum. We didn’t have time to comment and talk before in the forum, so I hope you don’t find my intrusive.

I wish you the best in your relationship. Do you plan to tell your girlfriend about your mongering past? Do you feel confident that it is a secret that you can keep?

In my personal experience, it is a secret too big for me to keep hidden. I don’t think that makes you honest or dishonest. There is very little value to accept of such past. I just wonder, sincerely, if you intend to make this a secret from now on and how do you think it will affect your relationship?

johnnyboy84 said:
The only thing that will bring me back to the game is if this relationship ends. And I feel like my play time is over after hundreds of girls and 5 AV stars.
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You lost me at the “5 AV stars.” Were you a porn actor or is that only a joke in this forum? If the 5 AV stars are real, congrats I guess!

I take your word about the “hundreds of girls.” I have only mongered for less than a year, and I recall at least 30 — and that is only because I got a regular that took the load after it — The way you say “hundreds” it implies that you are “exhausted” or “tired” of this, that is what already enough. Is that how you really feel?

In my personal experience I have never got much pleasure for P4P. On the other hand, after you cross a certain number, let’s say 10 girls, I feel like it becomes if not an addiction, then at least something that it would be very easy to fall back again. In the future there will be days when you will feel lonely, or you had a fight with your girlfriend, or you had a crappy day, or you just want variety in sex… I think it would be so easy to monger again. There is no great difference between 100 and 101 girls. Give enough time to your brain, and it will find a justification of how if you are already hidden the 100 girls in the past to your girlfriend, then an extra in the present wouldn’t make a big difference in the relationship.

Mongering changes you as a person. I think. Maybe you can change back, but it will be difficult. Like quitting smoking, or any addiction.

Do you feel like you can quit mongering for real? I know it is a very personal question, and I’m just a new user in this forum, but I registered because this caught my attention. I will be in the same situation one day.

I assume that there must be some overlap between the time you were mongering and the time you have been seeing your new girlfriend. Did you have sex with your girlfriend already? Are you two more or less formally a couple? Did you fall in love? What about her feelings? I apologize if these questions are too personal.

I’m wondering about whether you are taking a leap of faith, that you will quit mongering now and are hoping that you can start a relationship with this girl in the near future, maybe even fall in love — and make her fall in love, which is also tricky –, but that you don’t have a guarantee yet; or I wonder, rather, that you have been going out with this girl and at the same time mongering. Either case it sounds pretty messy. If you take the leap of faith, there is no guarantee, but it would feel more honest. If you make a transition, only leaving mongering when you form a relationship, then there is a guarantee, but you have to keep a huge lie while in the first steps of that relationship, a lie that most women would not forgive if they found out later — and even in your heart, I think you will agree too with that feeling, that something has been off all the time.

Best of lucks, truly. I hope you don’t quit the forum immediately and we can talk, but my advice if you are quitting mongering is that you quit the forums too.
 
Sorry I ended up sharing my work problems. I have no idea where the hell that came from. Anyway, to address some things.

Kitty Carr said:
I'm so happy for you that you've met someone! It's always hard for a provider when a long-term client meets someone and quits the game, but you're happy for them even though you're sad you're never going to see them again (and no, it's definitely not all or even mostly about the money at that point). Good luck with everything. :)
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@Kitty Carr Nothing is really official yet with this girl I met but I do have a feeling about her. But thanks. Sadly, I never got to book you though I always wanted to.

And to @River, I have been living in Japan for nearly a total of 8 years so I have been around. To me, my mongering is just behind me. I only care about my present and future now and threw away my exclusive membership cards to services I have been using. As for 5 AV stars, I have met 5 AV stars while mongering. I am not tired of it per say, it's just I have found someone and I want the relationship to work and devote all my love to this person. I am at a stage where we are taking it slow. But she is really kind of beautiful.
 
johnnyboy84 said:
To me, my mongering is just behind me. I only care about my present and future now and threw away my exclusive membership cards to services I have been using.
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You seem to have been mongering consistently for a very long time. I ask this not to be tough on you, but because I’m in a very similar situation, don’t you feel that mongering has any lasting effects on you as a person?

I’m very interested in one aspect, did you ever went through ‘withdrawal’ — as in an addiction — or something similar? It is not the same as other addictions that affect the brain chemistry, I know, but at least in my personal experience I notice that mongering has changed my mind

johnnyboy84 said:
I am not tired of it per say, it's just I have found someone and I want the relationship to work and devote all my love to this person.
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You should probably think of this as two different things: to quit mongering, and to devote yourself to this new relationship. If they become the same thing in your mind, you will be putting a lot of pressure in this new relationship and the other person (she won’t know why if you don’t tell her, but she will definitely notice the unusual pressure in the relationship, both emotionally and sexually).

If the relationship doesn’t work, for any reason, then you will find yourself going back to mongering if you quit now only because of this relationship. Even if the relationship works, there will be tough moments in it, and you should be prepared.

Best of lucks, truly.
 
Wwanderer said:
@River - Man, do you know the expression "harshing his mellow"?

-Ww
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If you are not interested in retiring from mongering — which is absolutely OK — then my questions won’t make much sense to you. If you are interested in retiring from mongering then you will realize that it isn’t as easy as just saying you will quit.

I’m not trying to be obnoxious. I’m in a very similar situation to johnnyboy84, and I wondered if he had any practical advice from experience or a plan for the future.

I “sort of” retired from mongering a month ago, and before that I was seeing only one regular for 4 months. I retired rather by accident and find it very difficult to don’t monger again. I don’t have a relationship.

johnnyboy84 said:
Whatever happens, I will find a way to handle it
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Best of lucks, truly. It wasn’t my intention to bother you. I hope you will find a way to handle things.
 
River said:
If you are not interested in retiring from mongering — which is absolutely OK — then my questions won’t make much sense to you. If you are interested in retiring from mongering then you will realize that it isn’t as easy as just saying you will quit.

I’m not trying to be obnoxious. I’m in a very similar situation to johnnyboy84, and I wondered if he had any practical advice from experience or a plan for the future.

I “sort of” retired from mongering a month ago, and before that I was seeing only one regular for 4 months. I retired rather by accident and find it very difficult to don’t monger again. I don’t have a relationship.
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Taking you at your word and with all due respect, it seems to me that your situation is actually quite different from @johnnyboy84 's in many important and devilish details...most importantly in having what would appear to be a totally different motivation (an accidental retirement???, no relationship). That being the case, you'd probably get the most out of TAG's collective "wisdom" <cough, cough> by starting your own thread and describing your own specific situation (reasonably briefly). You could then also ask whatever specific questions or for specific advice directly relevant to your "retirement" from mongering.

-Ww
 
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