Is it a libido killer?

[Frenchy]

...This P4P thing?

Ok , this will probably sound weird and silly and even obnoxious but in a city where you can get sex as easily as a delivery pizza (obvious caveat: when you have money and you know the basic rules of the game)... is so much availability and convenience such a good thing after all?

Personnally , more and more, I lose desire. It’s sad but not overly depressing. Maybe just related to aging and same thing would happen anyway even in a place where getting your rocks off is less easy. Maybe it’s just a temporary blues attack or being a jaded , spoiled brat.

But I can’t help thinking that if I had to seduce, take risks, make efforts to « get it for real» , heck even fall in love again... I would feel more appetite before, and more satisfaction after.
Maybe the reason I don’t feel like calling my usual providers is simply that .. I know I can call them. And get service quickly and easily. Just need to prepare the banknotes and the bed.

Ok enough nonsense . But I would be interested to know what you think of it.

 

[BIPSY]

To an extent, yes. But that's the main reason I use P4P - it keeps the libido in check really, really well.
In my line of work an overactive libido is a ticking timebomb so you need to find a way to defuse it off the clock.
A weekly P4P session really takes the edge off.

 

[CharlieSimms]

WWJHS
What would John Houseman say?!
Or @Sinapse for that matter...

 

[MikeH]

Ok enough nonsense . But I would be interested to know what you think of it.

Short answer: no. Long answer: you should take a break from jacking off and try again afterwards.

 

[Simonka]

Sorry but I'll be brutally honest:

As an escort, if I had to meet with five different men each day, use lube to keep up with the "work" load, "serve" people who have no idea intimacy is a two way street, see people I wouldn't enjoy seeing just to make more cash, it would kill my libido, my mood, my soul and eventually my body. I would probably end up hating myself, and humans in general. I know myself very well, and I would probably spend the money I made for therapy or suffer from a massive burnout.

For now I see no more than one client each day and by next day my energy stocks are full again. Then again I'm privileged to keep up a daytime job to support myself. Money is good, but my overall well being and health has no monetary value.

 

[Simonka]

...This P4P thing?

Ok , this will probably sound weird and silly and even obnoxious but in a city where you can get sex as easily as a delivery pizza (obvious caveat: when you have money and you know the basic rules of the game)... is so much availability and convenience such a good thing after all?

Personnally , more and more, I lose desire. It’s sad but not overly depressing. Maybe just related to aging and same thing would happen anyway even in a place where getting your rocks off is less easy. Maybe it’s just a temporary blues attack or being a jaded , spoiled brat.

But I can’t help thinking that if I had to seduce, take risks, make efforts to « get it for real» , heck even fall in love again... I would feel more appetite before, and more satisfaction after.
Maybe the reason I don’t feel like calling my usual providers is simply that .. I know I can call them. And get service quickly and easily. Just need to prepare the banknotes and the bed.

Ok enough nonsense . But I would be interested to know what you think of it.

Call it a womanly instinct, sixth sense or whatever but I think you need to take better care of yourself. Start with exercising more, maybe have long walks a few times a week no matter what. Even if you're not the best athlete we can all walk unless we have a disability.. Reduce alcohol, and sugar. Your mind works together with your body and once you start treating your body right you'll start thinking clearly. You'll see the difference in a month. And then maybe try to fall in love with someone If you can't show yourself enough love, loving someone else can be hard.

 

[Frenchy]

Call it a womanly instinct, sixth sense or whatever but I think you need to take better care of yourself. Start with exercising more, maybe have long walks a few times a week no matter what. Even if you're not the best athlete we can all walk unless we have a disability.. Reduce alcohol, and sugar. Your mind works together with your body and once you start treating your body right you'll start thinking clearly. You'll see the difference in a month. And then maybe try to fall in love with someone If you can't show yourself enough love, loving someone else can be hard.

Thanks , you’re right. I wish I would be more inclined to exercise (sex included, in a way) and less to seek shelter in booze and good foods.

Btw regarding your first answer (that you couldnt have so many sessions during a day, especially if it’s just for money), I totally get it, but my point was not about being oversexed , more like since I live in a place where you know you can get it anytime with such a wide choice and overall reasonable costs... When I start looking for companionship for the evening I often end up thinking « oh well, tomorrow is OK too ». Desire is eroded.

Whereas you can bet that if I was living alone on a remote island with only one day per year in Tokyo, I would meet as many escorts as I can until complete exhaustion!

Unfortunately we are also spoiled here with thousands of good restaurants and bars and I still have a lot of appetite to discover new ones all the time ! Wish it was the reverse situation

 

[Frenchy]

Short answer: no. Long answer: you should take a break from jacking off and try again afterwards.

Good idea. Not that I jerk off that often either though. Maybe still too much choice (left hand, right hand, SB’s hands , Asian Feeling’s hands )

 

[MikeH]

Not that I jerk off that often either though.

I have completely outsourced that for years now. It means if I want some I need to go and get it. It keeps the mind engaged but does take a lot of time every week; especially if you try not to repeat same girls too often.

 

[Sudsy]

Personnally , more and more, I lose desire.

I'm the other way around... the more I get, the more I want.

 

[Frenchy]

I'm the other way around... the more I get, the more I want.

Lucky man! (Or not? What’s good for the balls may be tough for the wallet )

 

[Frenchy]

To an extent, yes. But that's the main reason I use P4P - it keeps the libido in check really, really well.
In my line of work an overactive libido is a ticking timebomb so you need to find a way to defuse it off the clock.
A weekly P4P session really takes the edge off.

Agreed and in a way I think it’s one of the reasons why Japan has a relatively peaceful society vs other more restrictive countries

 

[MikeH]

I'm the other way around... the more I get, the more I want.

I have found out that there are certain limits for me. Less than once a week and I feel pissed pretty much all the time. Once a week (that's one session that can go from anywhere from 2 to 8 hours) and I am a happy camper.

More than once a week and I start to want to have even more, until I die from exhaustion. Ah, to be young again and able to go for it every night.

 

[BB0523]

Maybe @Frenchy ..

you are missing the "thrill of the chase" or "hunt" if you will... In our "lizard brain" we have these instincts to do certain things... like breath, eat, and procreate... to name a few... I find in Tokyo or other parts I visit on a regular basis... P4P is available quite easily and readily - just a matter of cash and time... But sometimes I miss the "Hunt" if you will... engaging with a female and getting to know her.. Is there any chemistry, is it possible to take it to the next level, etc... all of these can create excitement and renew many aspects of your "normal" life... ie: self-esteem / ego which ever you prefer.... P4P really does not involve this aspect, unless you are in a room full of SW and it's like you are at a buffet and looking at what flavor you want or who meets your criteria at that specific point in time. but still that's not really the "hunt" but more of a selection...

When was the last time you tried to pick up ? How did it go ? just something to ponder... I'm not a "head doctor" but I have found some slight inkling of what you are talking about and I attribute it to the hunt... I'm not suffering from depression or anxiety... which definitely affect libido for sure.. @Simonka advise about exercise is also good... it get's the heart pumping needed O2 to the right parts and helps to clear your head in most cases... walking, riding bicycle, push-ups, sit-ups just simple physical activities can help.. or you can go for PSE sex which is a definite work-out, but .... that kind of makes it more difficult to source the root of what you are experiencing... IMO...

Anyway... just some thoughts to consider....

 

[BB0523]

ooops One more thing.... In the meantime you can try to find these kind of bubbles (attached image) and go to Yoyogi

 

[e-smile]

Libido and tendency to love are two different things.
I think p4p may kill the second but I'm not sure about the first. Don't you say "l'appétit vient en mangeant" in France ? In my case it's very true, the more I have sex and various sex partners, the higher is my libido.
That said I'm not much of a P4P user.

 

[Frenchy]

.
That said I'm not much of a P4P user.

Yes and I think thats partly the point (in addition of course that you are younger, more testosterone etc).
With P4P , you know that you will get a service (ok, may be disappointing one , or you can’t perform or whatever hinders the delivery but still it’s a transaction).
With non-P4P there is, or at least there was at the beginning, some element of risk, hunt (as BB0523 wrote, dont like this term though), uncertainty... and more importantly the relationship is kind of « equal » (you want sex and she wants it too, no payment involved). As much as an escort can be good at pretending the GFE, even being sincerely attracted to the guy (double-gratification for her then), the desires dynamic can’t be same.

 

[Frenchy]

ooops One more thing.... In the meantime you can try to find these kind of bubbles (attached image) and go to Yoyogi

Ah ah, good one, does it really exist ? Or just random shot or photoshopped?

 

[Frenchy]

Maybe @Frenchy ..

you are missing the "thrill of the chase" or "hunt" if you will... In our "lizard brain" we have these instincts to do certain things... like breath, eat, and procreate... to name a few... I find in Tokyo or other parts I visit on a regular basis... P4P is available quite easily and readily - just a matter of cash and time... But sometimes I miss the "Hunt" if you will... engaging with a female and getting to know her.. Is there any chemistry, is it possible to take it to the next level, etc... all of these can create excitement and renew many aspects of your "normal" life... ie: self-esteem / ego which ever you prefer.... P4P really does not involve this aspect, unless you are in a room full of SW and it's like you are at a buffet and looking at what flavor you want or who meets your criteria at that specific point in time. but still that's not really the "hunt" but more of a selection...

When was the last time you tried to pick up ? How did it go ? just something to ponder... I'm not a "head doctor" but I have found some slight inkling of what you are talking about and I attribute it to the hunt... I'm not suffering from depression or anxiety... which definitely affect libido for sure.. @Simonka advise about exercise is also good... it get's the heart pumping needed O2 to the right parts and helps to clear your head in most cases... walking, riding bicycle, push-ups, sit-ups just simple physical activities can help.. or you can go for PSE sex which is a definite work-out, but .... that kind of makes it more difficult to source the root of what you are experiencing... IMO...

Anyway... just some thoughts to consider....

Thanks for this thoughtful reply. Exercise , healthy life etc are of course important but not sure it would help that much in my case at least. And theres always Vitamin V if it’s just a physical issue.

I liked what you wrote about the « hunt » instinct (but not the PUA aspect of it) and maybe indeed I just slowly become one of those dreaded herbivores
But I actually try to « pick-up » a lady now, it’s been going on for months (I’m in this for the long run! ) weird dance where we are both attracted but also both married to Japanese sexless spouses (she still lives with him, I’m separated) and the kind of situation where you feel a very good and fun friendship could be put in danger if we go to the next step... ok, so that’s herbivorish indeed.

And there is also my beautiful SB , but then that’s P4P too...

 

[e-smile]

Yes and I think thats partly the point (in addition of course that you are younger, more testosterone etc).
With P4P , you know that you will get a service (ok, may be disappointing one , or you can’t perform or whatever hinders the delivery but still it’s a transaction).
With non-P4P there is, or at least there was at the beginning, some element of risk, hunt (as BB0523 wrote, dont like this term though), uncertainty... and more importantly the relationship is kind of « equal » (you want sex and she wants it too, no payment involved). As much as an escort can be good at pretending the GFE, even being sincerely attracted to the guy (double-gratification for her then), the desires dynamic can’t be same.

That's exactly why I don't use P4P so much.

 

[Frenchy]

To an extent, yes. But that's the main reason I use P4P - it keeps the libido in check really, really well.
In my line of work an overactive libido is a ticking timebomb so you need to find a way to defuse it off the clock.
A weekly P4P session really takes the edge off.

Still wondering for what kind of job a high libido would be « a ticking timebomb » ... sheeps shepherd?

 

[BB0523]

Thanks for this thoughtful reply. Exercise , healthy life etc are of course important but not sure it would help that much in my case at least. And theres always Vitamin V if it’s just a physical issue.

I liked what you wrote about the « hunt » instinct (but not the PUA aspect of it) and maybe indeed I just slowly become one of those dreaded herbivores
But I actually try to « pick-up » a lady now, it’s been going on for months (I’m in this for the long run! ) weird dance where we are both attracted but also both married to Japanese sexless spouses (she still lives with him, I’m separated) and the kind of situation where you feel a very good and fun friendship could be put in danger if we go to the next step... ok, so that’s herbivorish indeed.

And there is also my beautiful SB , but then that’s P4P too...

Appreciate the reply Frenchy... I don't like the "hunt" word as well, but it was more for instinct purpose and definitely not PUA... Maybe your current long game is because both are married and it feels good but dangerous at the same time - double benefit... I understand the hesitation tho... sometimes it's just nice to hang with a member of the opposite sex and if they are HOT then all the better.... As I am sure you know if it progresses... In those cases, sometimes the sex is Awesome, but I've also encountered the Meh... as well... depends on the chemistry.. which based on your response seems to be working... I've never tried vitamin V...yet... don't want to have to use it unless absolutely necessary. I find a daily regiment of Fish Oil Omega 3, Zinc, Niacin and multivitamin and vitamin C supports my requirements they are better for your body and basically no side effects... I've heard V gives headaches. I'm not a doctor so take what I am saying FWIIW...

 

[BB0523]

Ah ah, good one, does it really exist ? Or just random shot or photoshopped?

just a pic I sniped from a video I saw... I couldn't resist posting it... I thought it was great especially with the face of the girl... I don't think there is such a thing as "cock bubbles" but who knows ? ? ? ?

 

[jhingy567]

Interesting. I doubt many here would be spouting possible negatives of p4p (apart from financially).
I'm in my 20s and definitely do find my libido is lower after doing it maybe on average once/fortnight in the past 8 months (not to the level of not wanting anymore though) ....but isnt that the whole point like what BIPSY mentioned?
Nowadays when i see a hot girl, i'm much less excited and dont fantasize as much, knowing i could easily experience something similar for $XXX/hr

For someone my age, one bad thing is i might be even less inclined to put effort into finding an actual girlfriend (not that i was even doing this before p4p).

 

[Frenchy]

Nowadays when i see a hot girl, i'm much less excited and dont fantasize as much, knowing i could easily experience something similar for $XXX/hr
).

Yes, exactly, same for me. Whether it’s « good » or « bad » is a matter of personal judgment , but when I see how « hot girls » get cat-called , harrassed, stalked etc... in countries where sex is much less available , I tend to think it’s more positive in fact (not that it’s the only explanation for such behavior, of course). It’s better For both men and women. Less erotic tension but less fuss and obsessions about it too.