Is P4P always better kept a secret?

I'm not a huge proponent of monogamy and mostly practice open relationships, I think those models of relationships lend themselves well to understanding sexual needs without equating love with ownership, which allows room to participate in and discuss p4p without backlash.
Same. This really makes things so much more relaxed i think.
I can’t imagine a situation in which i would feel bad about my partner doing (safe) p4p. Things like making other sex friends can cause tension sometimes but p4p and swingers clubs are pretty safe ways to enjoy no strings attached in a positive environment imo.
 
Do you feel it should be a sexless marriage in order to justify P4P?
I think thats really something that people have to make peace for with themselves. Its their relationship and responsibility. If their partner works hard to keep the relationship good and would be devastated if they found out, its quite sad indeed. But that is a risk you take as adults i guess. I’m not gonna dictate rules to other people about how to manage their relationship or marriage.
But personally i would definitely want to go for open relationship/marriage.
 
So please don’t assume u should feel sorry for sexless marriages. I like living with a 50 year old friend that shares my interests, but I am pretty sure the sex with the 20 year olds is a whole lot better! So win win. IMO.
Yes. I know someone who refered to his wife as his “best friend” but said that she is painful since menopause and cant have sex anymore so he will not pressure her for it. I found that really adorable.

Menopause is a huge issue for older women to still enjoy sex.. but that doesn’t mean that sex with 50 years olds cant be fun! Its not like it becomes impossible for them to enjoy. If someone is blessed with a more adventurous wife or if they pick older providers for their experience or the cheaper price, or if they look for lonely elder ladies... i think there is still a lot of fun to be had ;)
 
If you are married or have a steady girlfriend, you should never let your co-workers or business partners know that you hobby. If your wife can't trust you, why should they? This is very simple undeniable logic that trumps everything.
Primarily, I would never even have any comment on the P4P world with my Gaijin biz partners because they are obviously in a state of cultural mind-fuck when they have anything to with the local staff when a situation goes beyond greetings for the day. I have neither the interest nor the energy to explain any of this to them.

And what is this shit about my wife not being able to trust me? In spite of the fact that she hasn't fucked me since 2007 and told me to go to the local Pinsalo when I brought up the issue I will not leave her unless she makes that my only option. I will continue to support her as a stay-at-home mother and be the best father to our kids as is possible. I will continue to look for ways to keep us together.

Just like my activities at work have little connection to my life at home, my activities in my infrequent P4P life has little connection to my home life.
 
I’d say no! I made that mistake and I was targeted.
Sadly there is the risk of gossip or blackmailing. “Friends” can backstab very easily. If you have a vanilla job and lifestyle, discretion is necessary.
 
Primarily, I would never even have any comment on the P4P world with my Gaijin biz partners because they are obviously in a state of cultural mind-fuck when they have anything to with the local staff when a situation goes beyond greetings for the day. I have neither the interest nor the energy to explain any of this to them.

And what is this shit about my wife not being able to trust me? In spite of the fact that she hasn't fucked me since 2007 and told me to go to the local Pinsalo when I brought up the issue I will not leave her unless she makes that my only option. I will continue to support her as a stay-at-home mother and be the best father to our kids as is possible. I will continue to look for ways to keep us together.

Just like my activities at work have little connection to my life at home, my activities in my infrequent P4P life has little connection to my home life.
Good point. I don’t think you are betraying your wife’s trust. I understand the deal. But other will think so. And I dont want other married male employees openly letting me know they partake in P4P. They should keep it to themselves. I meet their wives at the Christmas party. I don’t want that kind of unnecessary duplicity. It’s bad for business.
 
A lady at my work admitted that her daughter’s friend was a deriheru worker. It seems that her daughter told the wrong person about how her friend pays to go to school and her friend was outed and consequently kicked out. I see no reason to admit to anyone that you monger or are escorting. I see no reason to tell anyone you were once a monger or an escort either. It leads to judgemental attitudes. It’s one thing to be promiscuous, another to be the receiver or payer of services related to sex.
 
Yes. I know someone who refered to his wife as his “best friend” but said that she is painful since menopause and cant have sex anymore so he will not pressure her for it. I found that really adorable.

Menopause is a huge issue for older women to still enjoy sex.. but that doesn’t mean that sex with 50 years olds cant be fun! Its not like it becomes impossible for them to enjoy. If someone is blessed with a more adventurous wife or if they pick older providers for their experience or the cheaper price, or if they look for lonely elder ladies... i think there is still a lot of fun to be had ;)
I’m pretty sure that 50 year old women get aroused no different from when they are young if they have motivation. Pretty of older Japanese women have sex with who they want to. For one reason or another, they use sex to manipulate their husband, when that dries up, they move on to clandestine meetings with men or women outside their marriage. The man blames the woman, but the woman just didn’t have a date in mind to stop having sex. The way the locals tell on themselves, I can imagine this:

1. Husband and wife are seen or heard having sex by their son. Son goes to school and tells everyone including the neighborhood perv.

Wife’s response is no sex while the kid is in the house.

2. Husband thinks he’s smart and is using his wife’s computer to arrange to hookup with various women, paid or unpaid. Wife has her mother, a retired computer person, to add spyware to her computer.

All of your secrets exposed, she informs you without giving a reason that your sexual relationship with her is finished.

3. In the beginning, you the husband, worked hard at making sex enjoyable for the wife. As time goes on, you get selfish and just use her for a sex slave. That little pussy was hurt for the last time.

Wife tells husband that she no longer is interested.

3. Wife’s grandmother tells her that Japanese women don’t have sex after childbearing is finished.

Wife informs husband that she is now a mother and no longer available for sex.

4. Husband is too poor, wife secretly turns tricks while kids at school.

Husband is too poor and her poor old pussy is tired. Husband is forced into celibacy.

5. Husband is a drunk.

No need to explain why a wife would not have sex with a drunk.

6. Wife was a virgin when she met her husband. A painful std mysteriously invaded her genitals, uterus, and cervix. This includes other mysterious STDs that can’t be explained.

Husband immediately cut off.

I could keep going but.....
 
It varies to each person's taste, but I'd only share it,.if a partner was a kinky person.

I was a shy lady at first, but wow, by the way how esp. Euro men look at me, I can see the sign he finds me attractive, and that is the result of myself being an escort, met tons of men to serve.

It maybe hard to keep it secret, as my nature I'm a shy girl but very naughty. Oneday when I give my man bj, he might find it, how come she exceed???

By no words to be explained, guyz may already judge I might be a provider. I'm sure in my teritory, they want to say,"is she Yuriko?" but at the same time, you don't want to reveil you're TAG monger!
 
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It varies to each person's taste, but I'd only share it,.if a partner was a kinky person.

I was a shy lady at first, but wow, by the way how esp. Euro men look at me, I can see the sign he finds me attractive, and that is the result of myself being an escort, met tons of men to serve.

It maybe hard to keep it secret, as my nature I'm a shy girl but very naughty. Oneday when I give my man bj, he might find it, how come she exceed???

By no words to be explained, guyz may already judge I might be a provider. I'm sure in my teritory, they want to say,"is she Yuriko?" but at the same time, you don't want to reveil you're TAG monger!
When a promiscuous man fucks, the woman already knows his dick has been around. Men know when a woman is the same. Rather than say it to you, they just stop talking to you.
 
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When a promiscuous man fucks, the woman already knows his dick has been around. Men know when a woman is the same. Rather than say it to you, they just stop talking to you.

They look at me by their eyes widely openned, like they already judged how it would look like underneigh my clothes, by extended locked eye contact, I know they think they want me to be an ice candy lolly, and lick me. I know I smell my horomons...

So, I guess people can tell, when a person is sexually active. But I guess you wouldn't confess to anybody, just a selected trusted person...or maybe majourity of guyz here,.TAG could be the only place for some guyz..,
 
They look at me by their eyes widely openned, like they already judged how it would look like underneigh my clothes, by extended locked eye contact, I know they think they want me to be an ice candy lolly, and lick me. I know I smell my horomons...

So, I guess people can tell, when a person is sexually active. But I guess you wouldn't confess to anybody, just a selected trusted person...or maybe majourity of guyz here,.TAG could be the only place for some guyz..,
Even then you should be careful. Johns and escorts seem to have a certain understanding. Being promiscuous and being a paid sex worker are different things. The way some women dress, men assume the females are escorts. Some men are just excited to see women with the body types they like. It could be anything from odors to curves. But who knows really. It’s more of an assumption for a man. Women, on the other hand, have a keen sense of smell. Those olfactory glands can sniff out sexually active women and smell soon to be dead sperm in private places.
 
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I see no reason to tell anyone you were once a monger or an escort either. It leads to judgemental attitudes. It’s one thing to be promiscuous, another to be the receiver or payer of services related to sex.
That way, the stigma will never be broken, and if people will find out by playing detective the consequences will be much worse because nobody speaks up against stigma.

Also for many people paying would be better than being promiscuous.
Many women would have a lot harder time if they found out that their husband fell in love with a colleague than that he paid for services.
 
When a promiscuous man fucks, the woman already knows his dick has been around. Men know when a woman is the same. Rather than say it to you, they just stop talking to you.
Only true for men who are not worth my time anyway.
I’ll admit this has happened but i’ve been open about my actions and affairs to many a guy who hasn’t run off directly and has even enjoyed the lifestyle together with me.
 
When a promiscuous man fucks, the woman already knows his dick has been around. Men know when a woman is the same. Rather than say it to you, they just stop talking to you.

“Ooohhhhh Simona, you press that tongue on my dick so hard that my moral obligations tell me I can’t see you anymore”

Said no man ever lol
 
You confused mongers with normal men with some hope left in them. Somebody failed to see what was before them. Rhetoric aside, the average man would run. But there are always exceptions to the rule. Men who live by mongering codes wouldn’t see you beyond a certain number. Men who have particular values would definitely run. Others would see easy sex in their minds. But I can only base this on where I come from and a particular culture. I am supposing that both of you are European. No? Maybe in your culture, no one cares. But where I come from it’s best to be very secretive.
 
Are you from a culture where premarital sex is taboo?

Some European cultures can be very conservative too. I am not from a Western European country either :) But I’ve never bumped into men like this in my personal life because I prefer people who are open minded about sexuality. Even on the day I lost my virginity, I enjoyed what I was doing and I had no second thoughts. (Well I layed like a dead fish so I regret that part) Maybe some acquaintances might have judged me, but hey, it would be a waste of life if I put too much emphasis on what insignificant people think about me.

Btw mongers are “normal” too. Not all mongers categorize women like that. I am an escort and I have a very conventional day job so I live a “normal” life. I have been able to have great sex with men who have a more comprehensive connection with me and cherish my personality. There’s nothing abnormal about being comfortable in your sexuality.
 
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You confused mongers with normal men with some hope left in them. Somebody failed to see what was before them. Rhetoric aside, the average man would run. But there are always exceptions to the rule. Men who live by mongering codes wouldn’t see you beyond a certain number. Men who have particular values would definitely run. Others would see easy sex in their minds. But I can only base this on where I come from and a particular culture. I am supposing that both of you are European. No? Maybe in your culture, no one cares. But where I come from it’s best to be very secretive.
Aren’t you a monger yourself? Why so much self hate?

Europeans can be pretty prude as well but i don’t surround myself with prudes and that really makes for a more positive environment.
 
Easily fixed. Stop going to the Christmas parties.
Ugh who likes the Calpis high balls in Bonenkai’s anyway