Japanese Dating Websites

[majimekun]

I've used JapanCupid for a couple of months and not much luck so far. You really need to invest a lot of time talking to girls you know nothing about who may or may not look like their pictures

.......

Anyone has any experience with that website?

I've been using JC during many years and I'm still registered there as a gold member.

Here are the rules to follow if you want to have more luck on JC :

1. Write a very detailed profile both in the introduction and in the kind of girls you're looking for.
Explain everything you can about your values, your personality.
And don't hesitate to filter out girls by specifically stating what you dislike.
Be very honest.

2. Upload a lot of different recent photos of yourself (all photo slots).

3. Don't bother searching/contacting girls.
The girls who will do anything to meet you are the ones who have contacted you first.

4. Connect to the site every day without doing anything there.
Just being online will make girls contact you (if your profile is interesting enough).

Of course you'll have to be a gold member in order to have all the above work for you.

 

[Des Esseintes]

I'm a platinum member. I don't think there's any point in being platinum rather than gold but I screwed up upon registering.

Most of the girls I'm in contact with are the ones I contacted first. The ones who contact me tend to be less attractive. I'm due to meet one who contacted me next week-end so we'll see.

One of the girls I met told me I was number 3 on the popularity list and that I must be seeing lots of different girls (she said that with a semi-accusatory tone) even though I've only met 2 girls so far (discounting a third one who stood me up, I really don't get what kind of sick pleasure people get in doing that).

Probably as you said connecting everyday boosts your popularity but I wonder if it doesn't give them the impression that A. maybe you have nothing better to do with your life or B. that you're a womanizer.

 

[veryniceguy]

My experience with Ashley Madison thus far is realizing that there are many "sakuras" in many "city" listings....as their profiles are active 24/24....... then there are the "phishers".....those who will exchange a number of messages, and then ask you to get a "verification"....on another site of course....which is bullshit.... or those that ask you to look at their profiles on other, known rip-off sites.......and very occasionally, there is someone real...where you have an actual conversation.....but in order to carry on, and make sure they do get your message, one needs to send by "priority" mail....for extra credits..... Some of the real ones who seem "hot to trot" have their mailboxes filled up ....so late in replying....... definately a win-win for the AM owners.... sometimes there are ladies looking for FWB.....but their profiles disappear fairly quickly.....
overall the site is a money "sojiki".......
Having said that..... I did finally meet one woman.....said she was 42....looked 50(50 can look good for sure, but not her!) ....with super bad teeth, a total turn off.....had dinner and it was good-bye..... ANd last year, on an extended stay in Paris, I met a Japanese lady visiting Paris....and posting on the Paris page......saw her 2 times while she was there,
and without specific details....it was a fun encounter......
I just found OK Cupid....and the only thing I paid for was to be able to visit pages discreetly.... Had some conversations....but so far, no bites on the hook.....

 

[majimekun]

I'm a platinum member. I don't think there's any point in being platinum rather than gold but I screwed up upon registering.

I couldn't agree more

Most of the girls I'm in contact with are the ones I contacted first. The ones who contact me tend to be less attractive.

Well, it's the same for me, but sometimes, out of nowhere, a very good looking girl contacts you.
You only need one (if you don't screw up).

Probably as you said connecting everyday boosts your popularity but I wonder if it doesn't give them the impression that A. maybe you have nothing better to do with your life or B. that you're a womanizer.

You're thinking way too much here. I never had such remarks.
But honestly, if you are quite good looking, women will automatically assume that you're a womanizer.
That's why writting a honest/detailed profile is very important.
The less you write, the more they will assume (bad) things about you.

 

[Des Esseintes]

I added "marriage" to "friendship" and "dating/romance" in the "seeking female for..." section even though I don't come from a religious background, don't really understand what marriage is about and would prefer to avoid it as much as is humanly possible but Japan is so traditional that maybe it might damage my credibility if I don't list it. The first girl I met was christian and I wonder whether it wasn't a factor in her rather heated remark about my alleged popularity. Also changed "want (more) kids" from "no" to "not sure".

That's two lies right from the start, not sure it's such a good idea but I'm slowly beginning to realise honesty will never get me anywhere in this life.

I will completely rewrite my description (and indicate that I'm looking for a serious relationship) and upload more pictures as you suggested. Thanks for the advice.

 

[majimekun]

I added "marriage" to "friendship" and "dating/romance" in the "seeking female for..." section ..
That's two lies right from the start, not sure it's such a good idea but I'm slowly beginning to realise honesty will never get me anywhere in this life..

I've removed "mariage" from my profile a very long time ago and it made my life much easier.
I also state that I don't want to have kids.

And you know what? I got more interests/favorites (from a lot of divorced women actually).

Maybe you should read this :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/17/online-dating-profile-perfect_n_6670228.html
http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/16/how-m...t-a-better-response-than-my-real-one-4897297/

There is one thing you need to know : girls who use dating sites have been lied upon many many times.
And if you read their profiles, you'll often find their request about sincerity.
Even if it's only for fun, they want honesty.

So, do yourself a favor, write a honest profile and stop trying to be in their head.

 

[Des Esseintes]

Ok makes sense, thanks for the link.

 

[majimekun]

A lot of women who don't want to have kids select "not sure" for the same reason.
But you don't have to do the same since these women will contact you even if you select "no".
It's also a good idea to explain why you don't want to have kids.
The trick is to use a positive statement instead of a negative one.
"I don't like kids" : bad
"I want to have more time and freedom for my partner" : good

 

[Des Esseintes]

I know I need to write a fairly detailed explanation, I dread the amount of time it's gonna take to write all I want to say in Japanese.

For the marriage/kids thing I suppose it depends what age group you're targeting. I'm targeting the late 20's / early 30's. If you do a search for women of that age group who answered "no" to "want kids" you get very few results. Even fewer results if you remove "marriage" from what they're looking for. As a matter of fact I think I've already contacted all the moderately attractive ones with an active profile who match all three criteria.

As you say I have to rely on the fact that a fair percentage of the "not sure" ones actually mean "no".

 

[majimekun]

Don't forget that the ones who select "mariage" or "want kids" might decide to simply have some fun with some honest guy (you) while continuing looking for a life partner.

That's the reason why I send an email for confirmation when a girl with unmatched needs contacts me.
Several times, I have dated (including sex) some of them in the end.

The psychology of dating isn't as binary as you might think.

 

[Solong]

I've removed "mariage" from my profile a very long time ago and it made my life much easier.
I also state that I don't want to have kids.

And you know what? I got more interests/favorites (from a lot of divorced women actually).

Maybe you should read this :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/17/online-dating-profile-perfect_n_6670228.html
http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/16/how-m...t-a-better-response-than-my-real-one-4897297/

There is one thing you need to know : girls who use dating sites have been lied upon many many times.
And if you read their profiles, you'll often find their request about sincerity.
Even if it's only for fun, they want honesty.

So, do yourself a favor, write a honest profile and stop trying to be in their head.

Or, the girl has lied to guys many, many times.

In fact, I think it's more likely for women to be lying more than the guys. Women are often paranoid about their reputation or who might know them way more than men.

 

[meiji]

Or, the girl has lied to guys many, many times.

In fact, I think it's more likely for women to be lying more than the guys. Women are often paranoid about their reputation or who might know them way more than men.

Yes, we all know your opinion on how evil women are, Solong.

Don't you find it the least bit ironic that you repeatedly post about how bad women are for lying in order to get laid on a board that's primarily dedicated to anonymous and promiscuous sex?

How about we just accept that lots of people, men and women, lie when it comes to sex and try to be a little less judgemental, hmm?

 

[Solong]

Yes, we all know your opinion on how evil women are, Solong.

Don't you find it the least bit ironic that you repeatedly post about how bad women are for lying in order to get laid on a board that's primarily dedicated to anonymous and promiscuous sex?

How about we just accept that lots of people, men and women, lie when it comes to sex and try to be a little less judgemental, hmm?

I've never said women are evil. Please don't put words in my mouth. My perspective is to be realistic about what people do, or opinions from previous experience.

My response was that women on dating sites are also lying (if not more), which you appear to agree with at least both sexes lie.

The point was to put it in that realistic context. While a guy can be as honest as possible, it doesn't mean the women will be. This is important to be mindful of, and not just bash guys for what both sexes are doing.

 

[majimekun]

I too have to admit that Solong's usual rant in kind of tiring.

Of all the girls I've dated, easily 95% of them were honest/down to earth girls.
Those who had a habit to lie did so as a defense mechanism of because there were raised in a fucked up environment.

But my point in the previous post was that you don't even care if other girls lie on their profile.
Because honesty will bring you girls who will more likely correspond to what you're looking for ... independently of what they write on their profile (most of the time they write almost nothing).

And if you really want to be realistic, as another study found out, the majority of people (both men an women) on dating sites have a tendency to paint a false image of themselves.

It's true that women can be very insecure regarding their look when they have to put their photos online.
But I'm convinced that it's mostly caused by the fact that, in our society, we (not me) ask women to hide their true face (makeup), to avoid aging (roricon) or to be the least sexually active with other men. You have to admit that, on the psychological level, it must be tough to be a woman in this world.

 

[just4fun]

Bottomline.....people suck......that's why I have cats........not fuckin'm though.

 

[Des Esseintes]

Don't you find it the least bit ironic that you repeatedly post about how bad women are for lying in order to get laid on a board that's primarily dedicated to anonymous and promiscuous sex?

I wouldn't necessarily equate "anonymous and promiscuous sex" with lying. As a matter of fact the most honest, straightforward relationships I've had happened to be anonymous and promiscuous. In an anonymous relationship based on a mutual agreement not to see each other ever again you have no reason to distort reality to make yourself look better.

 

[Solong]

Skout (smartphone dating app). 1 out 5 rating.

Have to give them the thumbs down. Appears they have taken the SCAM route, have met 2 women, but the ratio of winks and messages to replies is terrible. Worse ratio, and about a tie with Ashley Madison for scams, undercover P4P and cam girls, and wasting your time.

Tinder and OkCupid are still much better, in the smartphone app date department, and I can recommend them.

 

[majimekun]

I had the exact same experience with Skout.
I must have contacted almost eveybody in my area but not a single date.
Full of girls with attention disorder

OkCupid is full of not so good looking women ... and I'm no the picky kind of guy.

My latest best experience was with Waplog.
Could get dates with girls from 18 to 25 yo. ... and on the cute side.
And there are new girls almost every week.
Just ignore the easily spottable 10% fake profiles and you'll be fine.

 

[Solong]

Skout

I can say with some confidence that Skout is using a lot of pros to respond to users. Not every profile is fake, but a lot of them are.

Often Filipina and Chinese women will have their profiles set to Japan or a combination of countries. You can see this on some profiles by scrolling down their pictures in Buzz, and seeing all kinds of different countries listed. They then try to waste your time chatting with you and playing games. Many of the Japanese profiles are in on the same scam. Going nowhere chats.

Some will even e-mail or LINE you outside Skout and make a date. These tend to be Filipinas, old Japanese women (lying about their age, but thinking Westerners can't tell), or have an odd P4P feel to it. Where the P4P female is trying to disguise and lie about what she's doing, until the last second.

If you happen to make a date, many Skout girls may also make some lame excuse to cancel or the golden oldie, claim they suddenly got a cold or sick.

Pals using Skout report the same scams.

 

[shammykun]

May be a blast from the past for some out there but back in 2004-2009 I used the 2 sites below and was able to get a decent pipeline going. 2nd site seems to be completely changed.

Dream Realize
http://dr.to/

全日本愛人不倫クラブ
http://www.aijinfurin.com/

1) Has anybody else used these sites?
2) Can anybody share a few hidden gem sites like these?
- They will command a stronger level of Japanese written language.

 

[Alvin]

Do any of these sites let you communicate with and see the women without a monthly payment? The term free is used by all of them but you can not really do anything after that. Are there also any sites with western girls in Japan that just want To play? I think the discreet thing I'm dreaming of is really Disney land..

 

[veryniceguy]

Back To Ashley Madison...... The problem with this site is that when you sign up there are certain "default" parameters built in that one needs to be careful about. When buying a first set of credits, you have to turn off the automatic renewal, or the extra charge applied for mobile access. And then, in the profile management parameters, you have to make sure that when you send messages that they are NOT "priority" which costs more. Also, turn off the automatic photo exchange...unless you actually want that..... By sending a wink....it's costs nothing, but very few people will reply to that.... so a first paid-for message is required...but once you have a first contact with someone, it doesn't cost anything more to exchange messages..... Problem is there are many profiles that are up there 24/24 just to get people to use credits....and then there are the "phishers"....but AM is pretty good when people mark a profile as "suspicious", your credits are refunded..... Lately there are huge amounts of profiles where the language spoken is "simplified Chinese"....and they are mostly all in the same Tokyo location....あきる野市, 東京都..... and they quickly invite you to another chat site..... Forget it, even if the photos look good. I have a few on-going conversations, and if it materializes to some actual fun , I will report....otherwise I will let the credits burn up, and end of story....

 

[Vulkan]

Do japanese women actually understand the purpose of Tinder? I have a feeling that they sweep right like they would push the "Like" button on some random facebook post.

 

[Solong]

Do japanese women actually understand the purpose of Tinder? I have a feeling that they sweep right like they would push the "Like" button on some random facebook post.

LOL, I've said as much. Many Japanese appear to be either attention whoring or just pressing "like" as if a video game.

However, some women do have the brains to understand it and I've met some for sexually fun and entertaining encounters. It's just annoying when you get a match, send a message, and get no or some childish whack waste of time response.

 

[NormalGuy]

I found Tinder to be one of the better free ones, but there were a lot of Filipino women on there that thought it was a friendship app (although I did tend to end up in a LH).