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japanese girls and ghosting

BankerguyCanada

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ive hooked up with a ton of japanese korean and chinese girls... and ive noticed that of all the asians..japanese tend to "ghost" the most.. where they just delete profiles and block chat apps and dissapear.

koreans and chinese ...they have their own ways of ending things / breaking it off... but ive noticed japanese tend to avoid conflict and rarher just go GHoST

anyone else notice this? or is it just my skewed opinion?
 
ive hooked up with a ton of japanese korean and chinese girls... and ive noticed that of all the asians..japanese tend to "ghost" the most.. where they just delete profiles and block chat apps and dissapear.

koreans and chinese ...they have their own ways of ending things / breaking it off... but ive noticed japanese tend to avoid conflict and rarher just go GHoST

anyone else notice this? or is it just my skewed opinion?
the mere fact that the English word "ghost" is used for this attitude means it's not an Asian concept.
 
Many dudes on here have shared stories about being "ghosted" by a Japanese girl they were in a relationship with (or at least thought they were in a relationship with). So you're not the only one.

But as to why that method is preferred over the typical methods we use for breaking things off, I'm not sure. Maybe it's conflict avoidance or maybe to that person you just don't warrant a proper breakup.
 
the mere fact that the English word "ghost" is used for this attitude means it's not an Asian concept.

True, although I think it has been mastered by Japanese women (sorry, don’t have any relationships with men to benchmark my case).
 
I ghost people here in Tokyo because I just don't have the time or energy to explain why. It sounds selfish as hell, but with this population density I realized, it would be better just to find another girl rather than to dwell on a problem.
 
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the mere fact that the English word "ghost" is used for this attitude means it's not an Asian concept.

Yeah, in Japan it's just called "ending a relationship"

I don't think fish have a word for water :D
 
Terry Pratchett has this dialogue.
Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave,' said Vorbis.
'So I understand,' said the Tyrant. 'I imagine that fish have no word for water.

Hahaha just saw this after I replied...weird, was thinking abt different ways to say what I wanted and settled on the same thing
 
Not just the women at all. Happens professionally, male and female the same amount quite regularly. It used to massively piss me off. Now I realize its just their way of saying no. In the UK or US (dunno about Europe) people tend to give you a 'no' if they aren't interested in something but here there is more silence as a way of saying no.
 
Terry Pratchett has this dialogue.
Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave,' said Vorbis.
'So I understand,' said the Tyrant. 'I imagine that fish have no word for water.
The Buta has this dialogue.

The Buta: Fish have no word for water because they have no words for anything.
The Buta to himself: Correct. And the Inuit who have the gift of language have over 20 different words for snow.
 
I ghost people here in Tokyo because I just don't have the time or energy to explain why. It sounds selfish as hell, but with this population density I realized, it would be better just to find another girl rather than to dwell on a problem.

Yes, it's very difficult and time consuming to send an e-mail stating, "I'm really sorry but this just isn't working out for me. It was nice to meet you and take care. Goodbye."

That took all of about 20 seconds. Just think what I could have been doing with all of that wasted time.
 
Yes, it's very difficult and time consuming to send an e-mail stating, "I'm really sorry but this just isn't working out for me. It was nice to meet you and take care. Goodbye."

I've had my fair share of ghosting but I wouldn't call it excessive.

But, I someone did actually take the time to tell me that we shouldn't probably see each other anymore. (Well, over a text message anyway.)
She claimed that she was worried about getting hurt by our age differences... :cautious: Maybe it was a valid concern, but she didn't really want to try and talk about it... it just was done on that point alone. Hmmm...
 
I've had my fair share of ghosting but I wouldn't call it excessive.

But, I someone did actually take the time to tell me that we shouldn't probably see each other anymore. (Well, over a text message anyway.)
She claimed that she was worried about getting hurt by our age differences... :cautious: Maybe it was a valid concern, but she didn't really want to try and talk about it... it just was done on that point alone. Hmmm...
Which is better though, that, or if she just suddenly disappeared with no explanation at all?
 
Yes, it's very difficult and time consuming to send an e-mail stating, "I'm really sorry but this just isn't working out for me. It was nice to meet you and take care. Goodbye."

That took all of about 20 seconds. Just think what I could have been doing with all of that wasted time.

And the next thing what happens is the girl gets a gazillion of text messages, emails and phone calls from the guy asking him Why and promising He Will Make Things Right and acting like a true creep.

I hate it when HR people don't bother writing you back and telling why they didn't hire you. But I also understand the reason, they don't have time for the endless back and forth of "But I do have a lots of experience in Bornean Basket Weaving techniques, why it was not taken into consideration with this computer network job?".

You have to remember that while you might be a very sensible person and being able to take rejection like it should be taken you are still in the minority. Many guys are crazy to begin with and go even more overboard if they get dumped.
 
Which is better though, that, or if she just suddenly disappeared with no explanation at all?
I prefer closure in all cases. That particular girl still talks to me on LINE time-by-time, but I've told her I'm with someone else and that I hope she's doing well.. generic stuff.
 
And the next thing what happens is the girl gets a gazillion of text messages, emails and phone calls from the guy asking him Why and promising He Will Make Things Right and acting like a true creep.

I hate it when HR people don't bother writing you back and telling why they didn't hire you. But I also understand the reason, they don't have time for the endless back and forth of "But I do have a lots of experience in Bornean Basket Weaving techniques, why it was not taken into consideration with this computer network job?".

You have to remember that while you might be a very sensible person and being able to take rejection like it should be taken you are still in the minority. Many guys are crazy to begin with and go even more overboard if they get dumped.

You won't believe how many times I've called HR departments just to find out why they didn't hire me. (And to blow off steam) I know this pisses off my head hunting agencies, but since they never look into such things on behalf of applicants, I prefer to take matters into my own hands.

I don't expect them to admit that they don't want to hire a white guy for a Japanese position, even with my qualifications, but it never hurts to remind them that applicants are people too and deserve a basic level of respect and treatment.

Recruit gives out basic reasons for why you were turned down by every job you applied for (lack of experience, there was a better candidate, etc.), but they once gave me the "You don't have much expereince" bullshit when the job posting said "No expereince required! We welcome all previous careers!" After chewing out the girl assigned to me at Recruit over this, I then called the company I applied to and gave them a huge piece of my mind over their shady job posting which clearly used that wording just to get as many applicants as possible.
 
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You won't believe how many times I've called HR departments just to find out why they didn't hire me. (And to blow off steam)

I understand totally why you do it but as nothing else comes out of it I prefer to call a friend for drinks and dump it on him. Next time he is of course welcome to do the same for me. And I wouldn't worry about hurting the feelings of your headhunter agency. I have been told there is one or two good ones out there but despite working the field in Tokyo for decades on both sides of the table I haven't yet met a single one.

I don't expect them to admit that they don't want to hire a white guy for a Japanese position, even with my qualifications

The best is of course when it is the only white guy in the office who opposes hiring another white guy. It's much easier to enjoy your working life in Japan when you know nobody in the head office is be able to talk directly to any of the local people and ask how it's going down there.

just to get as many applicants as possible.

This just sounds like a brain dead approach to begin with. When I am writing the job postings my target is to get as few applicants as possible; I would rather get one matching application than 100 bad ones.
 
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I understand totally why you do it but as nothing else comes out of it I prefer to call a friend for drinks and dump it on him. Next time he is of course welcome to do the same for me. And I wouldn't worry about hurting the feelings of your headhunter agency. I have been told there is one or two good ones out there but despite working the field in Tokyo for decades on both sides of the table I haven't yet met a single one.



The best is of course when it is the only white guy in the office who opposes hiring another white guy. It's much easier to enjoy your working life in Japan when you know nobody in the head office is be able to talk directly to any of the local people and ask how it's going down there.



This just sounds like a brain dead approach to begin with. When I am writing the job postings my target is to get as few applicants as possible; I would rather get one matching application than 100 bad ones.

I know I rant on Japanese corporations for hiring cute Japanese girls all the time despite their lack of qualifications, but I went to a job interview at NSK in the past and met two of their white workers. Both were English and had model grade looks, the kind that women drool over and gossip about. Being the flat slob I am, I didn't get the position, nor did I expect to.
 
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I went to a job interview at NSK in the past and met two of their white workers. Both were English and had model grade looks, the kind that women drool over and gossip
I don't suppose they were engineers? :D