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japanese girls and ghosting

MikeH said:
I hate it when HR people don't bother writing you back and telling why they didn't hire you. But I also understand the reason, they don't have time for the endless back and forth of "But I do have a lots of experience in Bornean Basket Weaving techniques, why it was not taken into consideration with this computer network job?"
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Good analogy.
With job applications and lovers, I expect some consideration In proportion to the seriousness of the engagement that we had. If I get a polite rejection letter after one short exchange, I’m very pleasantly surprised - it’s classy but it really isn’t necessary. On the other hand, if we’ve been “going steady” for months, with multiple rounds of face to face interviews, and me preparing examples of the work that I can do, I expect at least a text message to say “Get lost. I found a guy without body odor, who wraps his used condoms in a tissue before throwing them in the trash.”
The last company that ghosted me after a LONG and onerous recruitment process, I got drunk and sprayed “BITCH” on their door ... or perhaps I gave them a one star review on Glassdoor. I don’t remember well. It’s the same thing, really.
 
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I've found larger companies are generally good at sending out automated rejection letters. Some I've received mentioned "due to the volume of applicants, we unfortunately cannot give individual feedback on your application". But yes, sometimes you have to do some prodding to get an update on your application. It's kinda funny actually - some of the very same companies who've rejected me (and didn't bother sending a letter) have actually contacted me (at work), trying to score a new client...and you would not believe how quickly they reply to emails then :D i'm not rude enough to ignore their thinly disguised sales pitch emails/voicemails.
Never had a company ghost me after interview stage though (when it gets that far, I've actually always received a Job offer).

back to the topic of the thread: Probably endemic here, but i don't think ghosting is unique to Japan/Japanese. A Chinese-Korean friend once told me about how she ghosted a guy after he was 'rude' to her. And this is coming from someone who had a western education. I also know an Indonesian guy who also regularly does this to girls.
 
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I’ve had a few Japanese girls suddenly reappear after ghosting me for a while. My advice is to not badger them too much after it happens. If you really like them, just send a very occasional “hope you’re doing well” message.

One of the girls who ghosted me admitted that she did so because she met someone else and it was getting more serious. Marriage level stuff that ended up falling through.

The other one just made up an excuse. She was really, really busy. So busy that she couldn’t contact me for nearly a year ;-)
 
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usualblue said:
The other one just made up an excuse. She was really, really busy. So busy that she couldn’t contact me for nearly a year ;-)
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Well, you can't do anything else than to feel compassion for the poor girl. I mean, that is really busy! :eek::D
 
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You'll get used to it. It's a very common thing to do in Japan.

I wouldn't be surprised if one third of the girls in my LINE blocked me. I don't chitchat much and usually only text to set dates. What I do from time to time is send a copy paste text to everyone to see who reads the message and then I'll just weed out the ones who didn't read the text after a week or so.

You should consider hiding your LINE Timeline. Some girls disqualify themselves and ghost you if they see too many jgirls liking your timeline updates. "This guy must be a player!". Same goes for social media. Don't add girls to FaceBook. Nothing good comes from it. Only argue. "Who is that girl?" While you're at it don't be that beta orbiter that likes all her プリクラ pictures or write some cringy compliments in japanese :rolleyes:

I remember the first time I was ghosted. I was young and naive. There was no LINE. We used Skype for communication. We videocalled for 2 hours and the next day I woke up and saw she disappeared from my Skype contacts. Why? What could have possibly gone wrong? We called for 2 hours and she called me kakkoii several times! I was left with so many questions. Absolutely heartwrenching :panda:
 
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jukujosuki said:
You'll get used to it. It's a very common thing to do in Japan.

I wouldn't be surprised if one third of the girls in my LINE blocked me. I don't chitchat much and usually only text to set dates. What I do from time to time is send a copy paste text to everyone to see who reads the message and then I'll just weed out the ones who didn't read the text after a week or so.

You should consider hiding your LINE Timeline. Some girls disqualify themselves and ghost you if they see too many jgirls liking your timeline updates. "This guy must be a player!". Same goes for social media. Don't add girls to FaceBook. Nothing good comes from it. Only argue. "Who is that girl?" While you're at it don't be that beta orbiter that likes all her プリクラ pictures or write some cringy compliments in japanese :rolleyes:

I remember the first time I was ghosted. I was young and naive. There was no LINE. We used Skype for communication. We videocalled for 2 hours and the next day I woke up and saw she disappeared from my Skype contacts. Why? What could have possibly gone wrong? We called for 2 hours and she called me kakkoii several times! I was left with so many questions. Absolutely heartwrenching :panda:
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Everything here is true.

story time, bout 4 years ago i hooked up with this Japanese rocker chick here in T.O and we banged all night, smoked weed, got hammered. She cummed like 8 times....In the AM, she woke me up....she was wet and wanted to bang again. I was like...drunk, stinky as fuck, not in the mood..but we banged again. As soon as she got off....she literallly jumped off me... showered and left my place. Took my favorite Kadri Coffee Mug too :mad:vvv
Later that evening ..... i msg her...no reply, not read.... 2 days later still not read. I"m sure i was blocked. like 2 months ago i was chatting with the bartender at the restaurant where i met her. Its this little izakaya called GUU in T.O. He dug into it for me since he had her on his line. She was like "i felt guilty the next day so i blocked him".
WTF!! LOL just enjoy it for what it is. crazy japanese chicks..man i tell ya.
 
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TAG Manager said:
I prefer closure in all cases. That particular girl still talks to me on LINE time-by-time, but I've told her I'm with someone else and that I hope she's doing well.. generic stuff.
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Late to this thread, but I agree with closure in all cases.

A weird thing, however, happened yesterday (Sunday). I received separate emails late last night from two Japanese ladies who have ghosted me for several months.

It was like everything was back to being hunky-dory, and each one wanted to know when I’ll visit Japan again. No mention whatsoever of the reasons behind the disappearing act.

Anyway, I haven’t replied. Closure will have to wait tonight or the weekend.
 
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