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"kakkoii"????

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TexasTokyo

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I decided to shave a few days ago (my face, get your mind out of the gutter). Anyways, it was like that show "Extreme Makeover" back in the USA (Not the "Home Edition" but the show where they did plastic surgery on people).

I have always maintained some stubble/heavy 5'oclock shadow. I decided to shave and it is as if I became a new person. I also styled my hair better than it was and I dress nicer with blazer/sport coat.

I'm just throwing this out there on the off chance that it can help someone. Who would have thought that a couple of minor changes could transform someone? It did in Japan, I doubt it would have meant a thing in the USA.

The same day of my transformation I ran into someone I knew from my last trip here. He invited me to their table and before I could even sit down I heard a woman say from a few tables over "kawaii" a few times. She was also trying to get a friend of her's to agree that I was "kawaii" but she would not agree and instead said "kakkoii". I was honored. Before the woman left she came up to me to say that I was "kawaii". Some Japanese guy immediately teleported next to her and made it clear that was his girlfriend and then they left together. This was a regular bar.

Fast forward a few days:
I am in a girl's bar (not a regular bar). A few girls blurted out of no where that I was "kakkoii". Then they motioned from head to mid-chest area as they said this. I know this might be an empty compliment but I could not got a single compliment on my last trip here even if I duct-tapped 10,000 yen bills to my head.

A different girls bar, a different night:
I am there with a friend and out of no where I get "kakkoii" again. This felt robotic and not real but again, last year I could not buy a compliment.

Am I being called "handsome"? or "stylish"? or "cool"? There are multiple meanings for this word. I am happy to get anything but I still need to know what I am being called!!! Which is it?!?!?

Another girl's bar:
No compliments this time. Right when I am leaving the girl pulls a pen out and writes her LINE id/screen name on my hand. I never spoke with her about exchanging info. She did this right as I was leaving. Bad news is she won't respond to my messages. Only a Japanese Girl would voluntarily offer their info and STILL flake.

One last thing:
I complimented a woman in a regular bar by saying she looks younger and she immediately called me "playboy" with a kind of mad look on her face. Is this a compliment also? I never heard that last year.

Key takeaways that I wish I could go back in time and give myself are:
#1. Shave.
#2. Get a better hair style, it does not have to look like a Japanese guy's hair style but style it none the less.
#3. Wear a nice looking dress shirt and blazer.

Charisma man is back in business!
 
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Simonka said:
Beard is like makeup, it completely transforms men.
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If I were in America or any place with mostly Caucasian women then I would completely agree with you. Some stubble can give the appearance of a stronger jawline and it can mask flaws like small scars. I decided to throw that away and shave and it is as if I have transformed or something. Japan and Japanese women are a different world. This info is hard to come by, aside from Sinapse who else is out there with relevant info specific to Japan for this type of stuff? I can't think of or find anyone besides him, I just felt compelled to share what happened to me.
 
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TexasTokyo said:
If I were in America or any place with mostly Caucasian women then I would completely agree with you. Some stubble can give the appearance of a stronger jawline and it can mask flaws like small scars. I decided to throw that away and shave and it is as if I have transformed or something. Japan and Japanese women are a different world. This info is hard to come by, aside from Sinapse who else is out there with relevant info specific to Japan for this type of stuff? I can't think of or find anyone besides him, I just felt compelled to share what happened to me.
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I prefer facial scars for a tough manly look over a beard any day.
Beards are messy and stylish beards are hipster try hard. Scars are fighter bad ass.
 
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User#8628 said:
I prefer facial scars - Scars are fighter bad ass.
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That reminds me of a Staff Seargent who was my section leader in the Marines. Multi-tour Vietnam veteran with a facial scar, scars from bullets on both arms, and a livid slash across his throat from shrapnel. Stood about 176cm tall and stocky. He looked like something that couldn't be killed - wearing a t-shirt, people would back away from him in a bar fight.
 
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chaztagster said:
Some days you take care to dress well, and you feel confident. The confidence is what makes you more attractive, as much as the haircut / shave / cologne / potato in your briefs.
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Potatoe????? First time I heard that.... LMFAO.... thanks for the laugh
 
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BB0523 said:
Potatoe????? First time I heard that.... LMFAO.... thanks for the laugh
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Yeah, that amateur stuff. Spanish bull fighters who wear tight pants always use a folded handkerchief. Some more than one. :p
 
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TexasTokyo said:
I complimented a woman in a regular bar by saying she looks younger and she immediately called me "playboy" with a kind of mad look on her face. Is this a compliment also? I never heard that last year.
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What exactly did you say? I can't think of anything that would come across as a compliment.
 
Simonka said:
I know it's just my unpopular opinion but my advice to men will be, please don't shave and don't style your hair too much :( I prefer the natural look. Beard is like makeup, it completely transforms men.
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my wife want me to shave beard and have a short hair cut, my girlfriend prefers me with beard and longer hair. hard to please every one.
 
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I will continue fighting for my cause..
 
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chaztagster said:
Some days you take care to dress well, and you feel confident. The confidence is what makes you more attractive, as much as the haircut / shave / cologne / potato in your briefs.
Click to expand...
The day I shaved/transformed I had no idea I was "transforming" at the time. I did not have a confidence increase or decrease. I just decided, "hey, try something new". I did nothing to provoke the compliments. I just sat there minding my own business and literally said nothing.

I honestly don't recommend cologne here in Japan. I got a negative reaction to it last year. Avoid wearing cologne in Japan if you like Japanese women.

As far as this "potato" thing that you mentioned, I will have to give that a shot next. Do I eat a potato? Walk around with one? Tell me how to use the potato strategy lol! (just kidding). Or maybe not...
 
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MikeH said:
Scars in the face mark the guys who lost the fight. :p I have scars on my knuckles only. :cool:

Almost true too, just a small scar on my lip... and four false teeth. :eek::p



Yes.
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So, everyone is ignoring that part of my post. I honestly would like to know if I am being called "handsome", "stylish" or "cool". I don't care about "stylish" or "cool", I just want to be called "handsome" but I can't tell which one. When they said "kakkoii" they motioned with their hands from head to chest area.
 
TexasTokyo said:
I honestly don't recommend cologne here in Japan. I got a negative reaction to it last year. Avoid wearing cologne in Japan if you like Japanese women.
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I don't know if you mean traditional cologne, but male perfume could be a good move imo.
My experience is that ojisan salarymen don't bother with perfume and tend to smell, ehm, funny, while male entertainers who make an efford to impress women do wear the nicer brand perfumes.
Also as a gaijin, you have that image of sweating more than east Asian men, so you may try to be extra careful how you smell.
I do find western guys smelling better than Japanese guys in general because they bother with perfume more often.
 
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psd said:
What exactly did you say? I can't think of anything that would come across as a compliment.
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She sat down next to me at a regular bar. We got to talking and I asked how old she was. My reaction was that she looked younger than her age. She seemed to take the compliment I gave her well and then a moment later she looked at me and said "you are playboy" and she had a more angry look on her face.

I never got called a "playboy" before my transformation. My question was, is being called a "playboy" an indirect compliment or not? It implies you have some level of success with women (perceived or real).
 
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TexasTokyo said:
So, everyone is ignoring that part of my post.
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I did give you an answer, you just didn't like it. As you already found out yourself that word can mean any of the things you mentioned. Japan is a high context culture which means anyone who was not present can only guess what was implied.

To make it more fun sometimes even those who are present have different opinions of the meaning.

TexasTokyo said:
My question was, is being called a "playboy" an indirect compliment or not?
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Similarly this can be a compliment, an insult or just a show of disgust. Couple of weeks ago in a nomikai (drinking party) there was one married girl I had never met before. The discussion went on to marriage, divorce and what not and out of the blue she said "Mike is the type of guy if he was married he would be cheating his wife all the time".

And for anyone guessing now that was a high praise from her. I found out it at latest when she wanted to give me her Line contact so I could call her out "by just the two of us".
 
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MikeH said:
I did give you an answer, you just didn't like it. As you already found out yourself that word can mean any of the things you mentioned. Japan is a high context culture which means anyone who was not present can only guess what was implied.

To make it more fun sometimes even those who are present have different opinions of the meaning.



Similarly this can be a compliment, an insult or just a show of disgust. Couple of weeks ago in a nomikai (drinking party) there was one married girl I had never met before. The discussion went on to marriage, divorce and what not and out of the blue she said "Mike is the type of guy if he was married he would be cheating his wife all the time".

And for anyone guessing now that was a high praise from her. I found out it at latest when she wanted to give me her Line contact so I could call her out "by just the two of us".
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You are right, that is not the answer I wanted to hear. Be careful, she might just want your potato.
 
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Simonka said:
Kakkou ii usually means someone cool or handsome, or both :) Most likely cool.
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Agree. “Hansamu” is the word that their grannies use.

When called “kakkoii”, you may want to ask back with a smile, "maji?" and then look into her eye, saying "You have such beautiful brown eyes...your color of eyes is different from other Japanese. So unique, so beautiful."....("you playboy!" "maji?")
 
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TexasTokyo said:
She sat down next to me at a regular bar. We got to talking and I asked how old she was. My reaction was that she looked younger than her age. She seemed to take the compliment I gave her well and then a moment later she looked at me and said "you are playboy" and she had a more angry look on her face.

I never got called a "playboy" before my transformation. My question was, is being called a "playboy" an indirect compliment or not? It implies you have some level of success with women (perceived or real).
Click to expand...
A girl approaches you and you manage to get rid of her in a couple of minutes, that's a pretty good effort!
 
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