Machine Or Human Being...?

Discussion in 'Questions, Answers & Warnings' started by Anna Summer, Aug 4, 2014.

  1. Anna Summer

    Anna SummerAnna Summer is a Verified Member Independent Escort

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    There is one thing which bothers me a lot. Not only in japan, in Germany as well and something I can't really understand and overthinking if I'm a human or a machine.

    From the beginning:
    I had to cancel an appointment because I got my period right on my way in the train. Well, shit happens. That was 1 and a half hour before the appointment start and I gave my customer a notice that I can't take it.
    I know you guys might get this excuse many times. I can understand that kind of problem. But of course it's not only the provider who cancel appointments, it happens from both sides. Which is humanly. Or at least I thought that.

    So, this guy started to get rude and called me a scam because I cancelled our meeting. And that he wants to write negative comments/true comments about me.
    To this point, I'm really kinda... Shocked? I mean, I'm a human and not a machine or a toy you can just buy and use as you want to.
    As a woman there are things I can't control. It's the same with man who work and something shows up at their office. So they have to cancel. Which is of course at this time a little disappointing but understandable. At least for me as a provider because I know there are things you are not able to control.

    I don't know if this is the right place to write about that but I just had to get my thoughts off my mind.

    Anna
     
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  2. Kitty Carr

    Kitty CarrKitty Carr is a Verified Member TAG Member

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    I sympathise, but there are ways you can avoid the situation. Obviously knowing your monthly schedule is important for starters. I take hormonal birth control constantly, which handily eliminates your period. You can get it in Japan.

    There are other stop-gap measures to stop the flow when you have a booking and it comes on suddenly, such as the sponge or the diaphragm (not that this is ideal, obviously; I don't have to do this myself given I'm period-free, but plenty of escorts do).
     
  3. Anna Summer

    Anna SummerAnna Summer is a Verified Member Independent Escort

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    Well, the problem is, as for me: I don't use the pill anymore. I quit using it about 3 months ago. Which means, my cycle isn't that regular right now. I have like a +/- 2-3 days. And I'm not into taking the birth control pill ever again since I got heavy health issues.

    It's just in general about cancelations (not only period issues) and about my experience. Once you cancel you are the worst person they every contacted. But if they cancel it should be all fine.

    I know there are scammers so I can kinda understand their feeling. It just gives me a feeling of like being a machine who have to work.

    About the sponge, I know it's possible to get it in Germany but I never saw it in japan. Are there any stores you can get them like normal Drugstore or you have to order online? Would be good to know for the future.

    Sorry for that rant anyway....
     
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  4. JayL

    JayL TAG Member

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    I have had somebody cancel on me when I have had the room reserved and everything. I was upset, but honestly I wasn't that personally offended. To be fair, if it's occupation, you can't expect your credibility not to take a hit. This guy getting that upset probably doesn't have that much to do with you. He must have other problems in his personal life. I can't imagine becoming that angry over a cancelled meeting that early in advance to the meet time. All I can ask is; don't take it too personally, but also try to see it from his perspective.
     
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  5. KeithOP

    KeithOP TAG Member

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    Pardon me for projecting, but...

    One reason a guy might patronize P4P is that he feels rejected by women in the dating world. There's a lot of stigma in paying for the act rather than convincing a civilian. So if a guy has finally worked up the effort to find a girl, save up the money, book her, and make all the preparations, it can be pretty humiliating to have that fall through as well.

    I don't know the guy, the circumstances, or what he said, but unless he's very easygoing, I can see why he'd be upset at a last-minute cancellation, no matter how justified it is.
     
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  6. Kitty Carr

    Kitty CarrKitty Carr is a Verified Member TAG Member

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    Keith, that's an excellent point. As an escort you're selling a fantasy, and fantasy girls don't get their period or cancel last-minute.

    Anna, the client obviously shouldn't have threatened you with writing negative comments about you - not very gentlemanly - but I can understand his frustration. He was obviously looking forward to seeing you a LOT, and he was disappointed and hurt.

    Another thing to consider is that Tokyo is huge, and so if you were meeting at a love hotel or somewhere that wasn't his home he very well may have been on his way there already, or at least showering and shaving. Personally I would be extremely annoyed if a client cancelled on me with only an hour and a half to go before the appointment, since I start getting physically ready two hours in advance and psychologically ready that morning. Luckily my clients are good at keeping promises, and I can stay sweet and nice. ;)

    Regarding the sponge (sorry fellas, REAL TALK), you can import the contraceptive kind from America, or ordinary absorbent makeup sponges (the triangular type) will do the trick. I used the latter once with an ex boyfriend with absolutely no problems.
     
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  7. meiji

    Global Moderator

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    I can't speak to Kitty's real talk about various methods to hold back the flood if you aren't on the pill that might make you more regular. But I can say after years of reading reviews that one of the experiences that will horrify a hobbyist more than getting cancelled on is seeing a provider and there's some bleeding present. In almost every case, canceling is a far better choice.

    As to the canceling, it's not just the rejection that Keith described. Personally, I book girls days in advance. Sometimes I'm on a business trip, sometimes it's because I'm taking a day off work for other reasons and wanting to make sure my playtime fits into the schedule with my other appointments. If I made an appointment a few days in advance, I've been thinking about spending time with my date pretty much every free moment I have, and that's a whole lot of fantasizing. Canceling on short notice not only deflates a guy's fantasies -- and, frankly, makes it harder to book with a replacement fantasy -- but there's a lot of guys at the high end of the salary scale that see time as money, and them getting cancelled on can be seen as a blow to their pocketbook as well as to their ego (some would subconsciously see them as one in the same!).

    That's certainly not a reason to bad mouth you publicly. Giving someone a legitimate excuse with some notice and offering to make it right should always be acceptable. But how you go about it is very important.

    Wrong: "Hi, my period just started - I have to cancel today. Sorry. "

    Right: "I'm really sorry, my period just started. I was really looking forward to meeting you - when are you available next week, and I'll make it up to you?"

    It's usually very good business to not just be apologetic, but be willing to make it up to them. You certainly can give them an extra half hour for a 1 or 2 hour price or give a small discount on the next meeting, but if I had a hot girl say that she'd 'make it up to me', gave me great service and wasn't didn't watch the clock closely, I'd be a happy customer.

    I also have to say that if there's a 2-3 day 'questionable time' when your period may or may not show up, you need to be exceedingly cautious about booking time during that period. Maybe go with regulars who might be more understanding about postponements, or tell guys that your schedule is a little iffy and that you might be able to meet on short notice.
     
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  8. John Chavers

    John Chavers By Jove, you couldn't make this shit up

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    Anna sent me a similar reply, and I didn't think anything of it. As the alternative would have been less pleasant for both of us, the honesty was refreshing.

    Considering how most of her potential customers are foreigners in Japan, I hope they remember that she's handling English as a second language and cut her some slack about some of the subtle nuances. Looking at Meiji's suggestion, I can see right away how the "right" reply immediately defuses any possibility for bad feelings. If it had been written in Japanese, I don't think I could have immediately sensed the difference.
     
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  9. TAG Manager

    Executive Leadership

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    Crap happens, some people will get offended or put off no matter what you say or do.

    If someone comes on here (TAG) and says "She cancelled on me because of her period! Maybe she's lying or being lazy!!!!" -- Sure, it will present a negative image but that is countered with positive feedback.

    Everyone in this hobby knows how things go but there are some new (and old) hobbyists that take things too personal sometimes.

    Anna - while it's upsetting, don't let it get to you too much. This kind of crap will get built up in your mind and you're going to think about it each time you meet a new client.
     
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  10. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

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    I find this very interesting, because I was typing about how annoying last minute canceling is in another thread.

    I think Meiji hit the "nail dead on the head". In many cases, it's HOW the woman cancels and her conveying concern for keeping the existing relationship.

    Many women, not just P4P, will be only thinking about their own feelings and not the guy's. They tend to do F-off type cancels that leave a very negative and bitter vibe. 1 hour before the planned meeting- "Sorry, something came up. Gotta work late, so can't make it." This is thoughtless and pisses people off, male or female. The other person could have made reservations, bought new clothes, invested a lot psychologically in the upcoming meeting, doesn't have a backup plan/date for that night, etc...

    If you are going to cancel, offer alternative days and show true sincerity in possibly ruining their night. After that quick reaction of being upset, they will usually see your sincerity and thoughtfulness, and calm down. "Damn... Fuck... Oh, she could meet me Tuesday... Alright then..."

    And the feeling that you are trying to maintain the relationship is very important, versus an abrupt cut or bullshitting.

    Especially if a woman says she will give you some extra time or affection. That will calm a lot of guys down.
     
    #10 Solong, Aug 6, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2014
  11. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

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    @Kitty

    Didn't know about using the sponge like that. Learned something new.

    Can you give info. on the ordinary make up sponges, like brand name?
     
    #11 Solong, Aug 6, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2014

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