I guess it depends upon what criteria you use to classify someone as a friend. There was a similar forum before where I mentioned I had made a few friends in Japan only to be told those are not friends, but acquaintances or Japanese people just being friendly. In full disclosure, I visit as a tourist, not someone who lives in Japan. So with regards to Japanese people, I consider them my "friend" if they meet some of the following criteria: 1) always makes time for me when I visit, 2) we do activities together when I'm there whether its lunch/dinner at a restaurant or their homes, taking me sightseeing, shopping, etc. 3) keep in contact with each other frequently even when I'm back home about current events happening in our lives, 4) speak with me about personal issues they are experiencing and want advice: divorce, boyfriend problems, etc. 4) can't wait to see me again and invite me to stay at their homes instead of hotel and 5) send me birthday, holiday, thinking of you cards. So if that's similar to what you are seeking then I would be really friendly/smile all the time, express a sincere interest in Japan and their culture, be confident in yourself and slowly learn the language. I've met many Japanese people who I consider acquaintances this way and 4 lovely women and 2 guys whom I consider friends. And each time I visit, I get introduced to to their friends some of whom remain acquaintances and others who become good friends.
Making friends in Japan
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warubuta
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As the Buta’s heart is overflowing with warm tidings and good will to all in this festive season, I will be delicate in my response to you fine sir. All of those people are ‘friends’ with you mainly because you are a gaijin. If you lived in Japan, you would get sick of them and they would get sick of you pretty fucking quickly. Have a wonderful holiday!
Fair enough Buta. Don't know if they would or wouldn't get sick of me, but I definitely wouldn't get tired spending time with them. And yes, I think to some degree it does have to do with me being gaijin and just visiting. I know that if I lived there things would probably be different although many of my "friends" are always visiting different cities in Japan as a large group. So apparently they are a tight knit group of friends who don't tire of spending time together. At least once or twice per month they all get together.
warubuta
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just4fun
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Sounds more like guys still trying to get into the pants of the girls they couldn't get into when in high school. Typical Japanese style.
HankaFLH
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I made friends at a local to Atsugi bar when I first got to Japan.
I spoke enough broken Japanese to have them interested.
Exchange business cards, or emails.
Shoot em an email and for the first few times it will feel like you’re in a one sided friendship and chances are it will be... but after a few times you’ll have some Japanese people you could call legitimate friends.
One of my best friends out here is a firefighter and it all started with a beer, a business card and a game of darts.
I spoke enough broken Japanese to have them interested.
Exchange business cards, or emails.
Shoot em an email and for the first few times it will feel like you’re in a one sided friendship and chances are it will be... but after a few times you’ll have some Japanese people you could call legitimate friends.
One of my best friends out here is a firefighter and it all started with a beer, a business card and a game of darts.
Danbo
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I think it's not more difficult than in other places. I found it easiest to connect to people who have similar interests. Using Meetup is a good way to connect to people that are into the same things as you...of course this app is used a LOT for language meetups, but there are also a lot of other activities. I am into art, so I went to lot of sketch meetups in the past and things continued from there on. Of course speaking Japanese helps a lot, got connected to people there, got infos for other events, went out drinking, met them outside of the meetups and things continued from there.
I think the biggest difference I am struggling with is that in Japan most people are just not spontaneous. Back in Europe it was never a problem to meet friends spontaneously in the evening or at a night out...not really happening here ^^
C4ssandra
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In terms of spontaneity (or lack thereof) I definitely agree. When making plans with Japanese friends I have to do so about 2 weeks in advance because of the way they plan their schedules. It was a big change from college in the states where we planned hangouts like an hour beforehand.
Additionally, I think theres still a very strong trend of people hanging out with coworkers so making friends outside the office can be tough.
Echoing what many people have already said, being able to speak Japanese and finding people through common hobbies and meet ups is good. Another important thing to keep in mind is not to be taken advantage of. Some Japanese people just want gaijin friends so they can practice their English. My best Japanese friends dont give a damn about speaking English haha.
Additionally, I think theres still a very strong trend of people hanging out with coworkers so making friends outside the office can be tough.
Echoing what many people have already said, being able to speak Japanese and finding people through common hobbies and meet ups is good. Another important thing to keep in mind is not to be taken advantage of. Some Japanese people just want gaijin friends so they can practice their English. My best Japanese friends dont give a damn about speaking English haha.