Marriage, a bad idea

[Hamerare]

Japan's population is 127 million and falling

There r an estim8d 1 million Chinese living in Japan

Homogenic population my foot

 

[sxian]

The 43 year old woman sounz like a disaster in the making. Let her run

You could try putting a persnal ad in the free weekly Metropolis. Japan Cupid dont have a good reputation.

There are some gr8 Japanese women out there who u wont never meet. If u got any Japanese friends, dont be shy to ask for an introduction. Or friend of J wife of gaijin friend.

If you can learn how to read and write Japanese, u would have access to the J dating sites

The last thing u want to do is choose a J woman with similar personality n outlook as ex wife.

I can read and speak Japanese fairly well (passed JLPT N1 three years ago), so that's not a problem. I have replied to some Metropolis ads but have not had any replies. I've gotten emails from women on japan cupid, but have yet to arrange a real life date with anyone.

Since I'm 54, I don't search out 20-something women. In fact, outside of a p4P situation, I have no interest at all in meeting anyone younger than 35 or 40 and I don't mind if they're in their 50s. I find that I don't have enough in common with women who weren't even born when I was graduating high school, and I've been around the block enough times to know that the physical attraction only carries things so far. The good news is that there seem to be a lot of Japanese women in their late 30s, 40s, and even 50s who are still attractive, and my assumption is that a lot of them are feeling like their expiration dates have passed.

 

[Wwanderer]

You are not quite clarifying the type of women that you are coming across, unless you are saying they are angels.

Neither all angels nor all the "devils" you appear to be describing. I'd say that the many women with whom I have been involved or whose relationships I have been able to observe closely (usually via being close friends with a a guy who is/was their SOs) are about as well/poorly behaved in relationships, about as giving/taking, about as selfish/unselfish, about as honest/dishonest, about as exploitive/exploited etc as men. By no coincidence, those with whom I've been most closely and long-term involved are those on the wonderful and desirable end of the spectrum.

At the risk of getting too personal, let me comment that I would start examining the way I deal with the women in my life if I had such a uniform and overwhelmingly negative impression of such a long string of female partners as some of you guys are reporting.

Overall, my impression is that women are simply people in that most (not all) are basically reactive; in other words, they tend to treat others as they themselves are treated by others.

-Ww

 

[majimekun]

many Japanese women make BETTER GIRLFRIENDS, than they do wives.

I kinf of agree but they are far from being perfect as girlfriends.

I've had many girlfriends and, even if I have great memories/fun with most of them, there was a dirty secret playing in the background most of the time : the fact that they all wanted to live abroad in the end, which (as I suspect) was one big reason why they became my girfriends in the first place. So, basically, even as girlfriends, japanese women tend to select their partners for the possible benefits so that they can get what they want (mariage>visa>new life). And since I've always wanted to live in Japan, it never lasted very long. I have now two exes living in France and one living in the UK.
Personally, I don't depend on japanese women in order to live in Japan.
Call me naive but I've always thought that a girlfriend was for exchanging love/affection

Another thing I want to say is how clueless are the japanese girls on how to make a relationship work.
Maybe it's a cultural thing but they seriously lack some common sense on many aspects of the relationship ... you basically have to teach them stuffs over and over in the beginning of the relationship.

For example, you have to constantly teach them how important communication is since they first expect you to magically read their mind and, on their side, they will do silly things based on how they assume you think.
Too much guess work on their side when simply talking would solve all issues.

Then, there are the girls who "really" want a boyfriend but they will pretend they are too busy with work/friends to meet you more than once a week (I get rid of them right away).

You also have the zero-confidence girls who hide behind heavy make-up/foundation and who will spend one hour on it every morning instead of having sex with you. Also, they will work on their hair/face till late at night making you wait for some night action ... until you're finally too tired.

Conclusion of this rant : a lot of good looking girls in Japan but too much shit in their heads.

Personally I'm getting (really) tired with them.

 

[Hamerare]

Would she be with me if I wasn't a foreigner?
Does she want me to speak Japanese with her? Does she encourage me to study Japanese?
Does she like my friends?
Do I like her family?
Does she want to stay in Japan for the rest of her life?
Does she have a positive view of Japanese men?

I'm sure u can think of others. If u answered NO to a lot of these questions, maybe u should ask urself what ur doing with her
If ur thinking of marrying a J-woman, here are some questions u should definitely get out of the way b4 u buy the ring :

Do you want us to buy a house? If so, who will pay for it?
Do you want chidren? How many?
When the 1st kid comes along, do you intend to quit working (for ever)?
What language will we speak at home?
Will I have control of how I spend my own salary?
Will we want to send our kid(s) to priv8 school? Who will make the final decision as to which school?
Am I allowed to meet my buddies in the Hub every Friday nite?
Who will look after ur mother/father when one of them dies?

Problem is of course that whatever was said when u were d8ng, things can quickly change once you start a life together
Here's the killer :

"Is it ok to live together for a year b4 we decide to marry?"

If the answer is "We Japanese don't do that" or "my parents wouldn't like it", tell her to find a Japanese guy

 

[majimekun]

Oh, I forgot to add some other gems to my rant :

The fact that they kiss/caress you only when you do it first.
They never do it spontaneously. The same goes for sex.

Their jaw dropping puerility : just look at the profiles on japanese dating sites an count the number of times you'll read "I love Disney" .... I mean, WTF??

The women in their 40's who don't show their face in their profile on dating sites. They instead choose pics of their pets or travel scenery. The younger ones who will alter their pics so that they look like total aliens. WTF AGAIN.

Too many of them, they just can't face reality.

I think I'm done

 

[Hamerare]

@Wwanderer

"Overall, my impression is that women are simply people in that most (not all) are basically reactive; in other words, they tend to treat others as they themselves are treated by others."

This is bcoz u have a knack of choosing the right woman Un42n8ly, many of us dont Not just in Japan but everywhere. Us men r weak creatures at heart

 

[sxian]

So, I have a japan cupid woman who is willing to meet me. Only problem is that I will be staying in an apartment I've rented in Roppongi and she lives in Hachioji, which I take it is somewhere to the west. She's offered to come to Shinjuku or Shibuya to meet me, but I'm wondering if I should offer to go to Hachioji instead. Thoughts? If I had her come to Shinjuku or Shibuya, my fear is I wouldn't find her given how large the stations are. Not sure where a good meeting place is around there.

 

[Hamerare]

Oh, I forgot to add some other gems to my rant :

The fact that they kiss/caress you only when you do it first.
They never do it spontaneously. The same goes for sex.

Their jaw dropping puerility : just look at the profiles on japanese dating sites an count the number of times you'll read "I love Disney" .... I mean, WTF??

The women in their 40's who don't show their face in their profile on dating sites. They instead choose pics of their pets or travel scenery. The younger ones who will alter their pics so that they look like total aliens. WTF AGAIN.

Too many of them, they just can't face reality.

I think I'm done

Most women lie about their age in those damn d8 sites. 40s means 50s

I put an ad in Metropolis yonx ago which went like "Guy in late 20s seeks younger girl blah blah blah" I met 3, all older than me

 

[Hamerare]

So, I have a japan cupid woman who is willing to meet me. Only problem is that I will be staying in an apartment I've rented in Roppongi and she lives in Hachioji, which I take it is somewhere to the west. She's offered to come to Shinjuku or Shibuya to meet me, but I'm wondering if I should offer to go to Hachioji instead. Thoughts? If I had her come to Shinjuku or Shibuya, my fear is I wouldn't find her given how large the stations are. Not sure where a good meeting place is around there.

Hachioji is quite big too
When you meet someone in those situations, you need to be wearing or carrying something that will distinguish you, say a Green Bay Packers t-shirt
I would suggest u meet inside a restaurant or bar, not on the street, She will be ntentionaly late anyway.
A suggestion for Shibuya is Hobgoblin Brit pub (opens at 5 PM I think) find the link on the net and send her it
Shinjuku try The Dubliners near the station
There is a good mix of nationaties at these joints so you wont stand out

Shit is this the time I gotta bail to work

 

[sxian]

Most women lie about their age in those damn d8 sites. 40s means 50s

I put an ad in Metropolis yonx ago which went like "Guy in late 20s seeks younger girl blah blah blah" I met 3, all older than me

I don't worry too much about that, as I have been known to "distort" my own age. But then I'm OK with 40s or 50s.

 

[Wwanderer]

@Wwanderer

"Overall, my impression is that women are simply people in that most (not all) are basically reactive; in other words, they tend to treat others as they themselves are treated by others."

This is bcoz u have a knack of choosing the right woman Un42n8ly, many of us dont Not just in Japan but everywhere. Us men r weak creatures at heart

You express the point in a kind and flattering way to me; I would not have put it the same. However, imo your underlying point is both correct and *extremely* important. The way I think of it is that *none* of us have experiences with a fair and representative enough sample of women to make the sort of blanket generalizations being tossed around in this thread...for the simple reason that we only have experiences with women to whom we are attracted and who find us attractive. In most cases that will be a small and unrepresentative subset of all women. The objection will then arise along the lines of "OK, but all my male friends have similar experiences and views." But neither are our male friends representative of all men.

For that matter, does anyone think that the subset of guys who are so into p4p and/or casual sexual liaisons (e.g., "swingings") that they are active participants on a site like this are typical of all men? Is it possible that such men are less likely on average to have happy and successful relationships and marriages? Etc etc.

Add to this the incredible power of "early over generalization", confirmation bias, self-fulfilling expectations, observer bias and so forth (read a bit of psychology if you doubt their reality and influence), and the case is strong imo that all this harsh "realism" about Japanese women, marriage, women in general and many many other matters reflects a very selective and partial view of the reality out there.

All of this applies to me too, of course. My experiences and understanding of them may well be equally unrepresentative. The only difference is that I am not claiming that my perceptions, based on the women with whom I've been involved, represent some sort of universal truth that applies to everyone.

-Ww

 

[Solong]

Most women lie about their age in those damn d8 sites. 40s means 50s

I put an ad in Metropolis yonx ago which went like "Guy in late 20s seeks younger girl blah blah blah" I met 3, all older than me

Late 20s ads can easily have Japanese women in their 30s to 40s too.

Many Japanese women have the asinine belief that it's near impossible for foreigners to determine their age.

Maybe a foreigner fresh off the plane that hasn't been around Asians, but even then and after a few months, he can see age differences. And unlike the Japanese, many Westerners have grew up around some Asians, as many Western cities are much more interracial and intercultural.

Japanese women can look OR act younger than their age, but neither means that a foreigner can't look at them and figure out their age. So it's actually quite ridiculous and even insulting, when a late 30s Japanese women shows up from an online date site, pretending to be in her 20s. Some older Japanese women can pull it off, but MANY can't.

Part of this is the "Christmas cake" concept imposed by traditional Japanese society on Japanese women. Where older than 25 isn't any good or her "freshness" has expired.

What many Japanese women fail to understand is that most Western guys don't put such restrictions on their age and quality. But being embarrassed about their age is so built into many Japanese women, that they often can't overcome their programming.

 

[Solong]

You express the point in a kind and flattering way to me; I would not have put it the same. However, imo your underlying point is both correct and *extremely* important. The way I think of it is that *none* of us have experiences with a fair and representative enough sample of women to make the sort of blanket generalizations being tossed around in this thread...for the simple reason that we only have experiences with women to whom we are attracted and who find us attractive. In most cases that will be a small and unrepresentative subset of all women. The objection will then arise along the lines of "OK, but all my male friends have similar experiences and views." But neither are our male friends representative of all men.

For that matter, does anyone think that the subset of guys who are so into p4p and/or casual sexual liaisons (e.g., "swingings") that they are active participants on a site like this are typical of all men? Is it possible that such men are less likely on average to have happy and successful relationships and marriages? Etc etc.

Add to this the incredible power of "early over generalization", confirmation bias, self-fulfilling expectations, observer bias and so forth (read a bit of psychology if you doubt their reality and influence), and the case is strong imo that all this harsh "realism" about Japanese women, marriage, women in general and many many other matters reflects a very selective and partial view of the reality out there.

All of this applies to me too, of course. My experiences and understanding of them may well be equally unrepresentative. The only difference is that I am not claiming that my perceptions, based on the women with whom I've been involved, represent some sort of universal truth that applies to everyone.

-Ww

1) I disagree with your 1st point, as I've dated a lot of Japanese women over the years, and so have many other Western guys.

Once you get above the 50 number, and a cross range of different socio-economic levels, you can start seeing cultural trends.

2) I had plenty of detailed and in depth conversations with Japanese and Western guys who are not into P4P or swinging.

And many other Western guys have compared notes with non-P4P/swinger Japanese and other Westerners.

These guys say many of the SAME things about Japanese women.

3) Japanese apologist

This can be Japanese or Westerners that are overly sensitive about any criticism about Japan or Japanese culture. Even taking it to extreme, even ridiculous ultra-nationalist levels.

Among Japanese, this can come about where the emperor, authority, boss, or parents are never questioned. "Shut up and take it."

Foreigners who are attempting to assimilate into Japanese society can pick up this unfortunate cultural habit, where they become "defenders" of Japan, no matter how wrong or right".

Most Westerners didn't grow up that way, so are taught to question and be critical. Especially when somebody is trying to sell you "perfect paradise Japan or perfect anything".

4) Trends, tendencies, and averages do exist

I'm definitely not saying to paint all Japanese (or any other group) with a broad brush of stereotypes. However, cultures ARE different and groups can follow certain definable tendencies.

 

[GoldenDalton]

Very good discussion here.

The issues discussed have only further confirmed the rightness of my decision to pursue flings and p4p only. I don't have the desire to get into an LTR with a J-Girl. I may head to Venezuala when I'm ready for that stage.

 

[GoldenDalton]

Also all you guys sharing your story- you guys are really doing the rest of us a service. Despite dating J- girls I still maintained the myth that they would make the perfect wives. Discussions like this are godsend. I'm one man spared because of other men being brave enough to share their honest stories. It's appreciated.

 

[Wwanderer]

1) I disagree with your 1st point, as I've dated a lot of Japanese women over the years, and so have many other Western guys.

Once you get above the 50 number, and a cross range of different socio-economic levels, you can start seeing cultural trends.

I too have dated a lot of Japanese women over the years, more years than most here I'd wager, and across a HUGE "range of different socio-economic levels" (literally from women who know members of the imperial family and move in some of the most exclusive levels of Japanese society to various sorts of minimally educated commercial sex workers etc), and I too have noticed "cultural trends". They are just different than the cultural trends that you are describing in this (and many other) threads. Moreover, I also know a lot of other Western guys who would tend to agree with my perspective.

It is reasonable to ask why we reach such different conclusions, imo, and also imo, the likely answer is that neither one of us is actually sampling the population of Japanese women in a representative way. We are both unusual in our interactions with and views of women in some way, probably different ways. Else we would not have had so very many gf's over the years. The LARGE majority of guys don't do anything remotely like that. The consequence is that we attract and are attracted to certain types of women and not others...probably *mostly* not the types with whom more typical guys get involved.

There is also probably a difference in our basic outlooks on life. I am very much a "glass half full" type of person in nearly all contexts. To the (admittedly limited) extent that I can judge from your TAG posts, you seem to be a "glass half empty" type; notice what a large fraction of your posts point out something negative or warn against some danger. (Many of them are chocked full of useful info too, of course.) Again, I'm not saying that I'm right and you are wrong but only that there are alternative perceptions of the situation.

3) Japanese apologist

This can be Japanese or Westerners that are overly sensitive about any criticism about Japan or Japanese culture. Even taking it to extreme, even ridiculous ultra-nationalist levels.

Among Japanese, this can come about where the emperor, authority, boss, or parents are never questioned. "Shut up and take it."

Foreigners who are attempting to assimilate into Japanese society can pick up this unfortunate cultural habit, where they become "defenders" of Japan, no matter how wrong or right".

Most Westerners didn't grow up that way, so are taught to question and be critical. Especially when somebody is trying to sell you "perfect paradise Japan or perfect anything".

I'm not sure what this has to do with the topic at hand, but I do know the type of person you mean, but I certainly don't consider myself to be such an apologist. I see tons of bad aspects of Japan and its culture and not infrequently mention them...including some of the ones you emphasize so much (over emphasize from my perspective and based on my experience), but being a glass-half-full type, I devote more time and attention to the positives than the negatives.

4) Trends, tendencies, and averages do exist

I'm definitely not saying to paint all Japanese (or any other group) with a broad brush of stereotypes. However, cultures ARE different and groups can follow certain definable tendencies.

Then we are in agreement on an important point. I surely agree that there are cultural tendencies and that averages exist. I'd add that over a long, largely happy and successful life (in various contexts) I have frequently found that there is more to be gained by looking for and concentrating on the exceptions to averages and tendencies in many contexts, including among women.

However, rereading some of your posts above in this thread and in others, it certainly appears that you are doing precisely what you say above (in the part of the quote of your post which I have made bold) should not be done...namely, speaking in broad brush stereotypes and phrasing them as though they are absolute and universal (or nearly so) truths. Probably/perhaps you don't actually think that way, but it seems to me that you can very easily be read that way and probably often are.

Anyway, I enjoy the discussion and seeing a wide variety of perspectives; I trust that you do not mind when I express one that differs.

-Ww

 

[Hamerare]

@Solong @Wwanderer

Without you two here, this forum would be dead.

If we all agreed with each other, we might as well retire to the Yurakucho press club and drink a glass of port

 

[Hamerare]

Very good discussion here.

The issues discussed have only further confirmed the rightness of my decision to pursue flings and p4p only. I don't have the desire to get into an LTR with a J-Girl. I may head to Venezuala when I'm ready for that stage.

Good decision bro, excellent decision hehehe
I think this is what Prof Wwanderer would call "confirmation bias"
The last thing n e 1 is gonna find on a monger forum is a balanced impartial view of marriage. I know for a fact there are mongers who are happily married bcoz of mongering. But my guess is that most of us who are mongers is bcoz of disillusion of marriage or failed relationships (with J-women). Its enuf to turn n e 1 into a bitter twisted barsteward with an axe to grind. Maybe no different to being a disillusioned gringo in Mexico but I dont never d8d a Mexican woman
It's easy to be wise to the situation after 20 years. I get mixed feelings when I see younger guys around town hand in hand with that very common gaijin-lovin type of awful stoney faced manipulative-looking J-woman, sometimes beauties sometimes dogs and often for some reason older than them. I sometimes feel like telling them not to do it to themselves. But then a lotta these guys aint exactly what most self-respecting women n e where would call a "good catch" so best to leave them both to their f8 since they probably deserve each other
The guys I know who seem to be happily married in Japan, whether to a J-woman or another nationality, seem to be the ones who have a very different personality to their wife but enjoy doing the same stuff together. Sometimes the hubby is the leader, usually the wife is, but I guess it dont matter if both parties are happy with their relative position. I guess the big problem with the J-women is that they are expert at hiding their true self which only comes out after it is too l8. Guys new to Japan not used to the culture and language are the ones most at risk of making a regrettable mistake. They think they are marrying a humble submissive geisha girl when she is anything but
Finally, there is 1 thing that bothers me, usually after the 4th pint. If other dudes can find true love n a soul m8 with a J-woman, how come I cant? I dont got 2 heads. Maybe I am part of the problem But I luv being a monger
That's all I have to say about that. I need to retire from this thread bcoz I said too much already

 

[Wwanderer]

The last thing n e 1 is gonna find on a monger forum is a balanced impartial view of marriage.

PRECISELY!!!

And not just marriage, on relationships with women in general.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I think this is what Prof Wwanderer would call "confirmation bias"

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

Quite aside from the context of this thread and this board, the above (or similar material) is very much worth reading and considering in evaluating one's own opinions and those of others. The more it has been investigated (by psychologists), the more powerful and important it has been revealed to be. If you have strong opinions of any controversial subject, it is essentially certain that they are based in substantial part on confirmation bias (whether or not they are correct is another matter).

-Ww

 

[sxian]

Late 20s ads can easily have Japanese women in their 30s to 40s too.

Many Japanese women have the asinine belief that it's near impossible for foreigners to determine their age.

Maybe a foreigner fresh off the plane that hasn't been around Asians, but even then and after a few months, he can see age differences. And unlike the Japanese, many Westerners have grew up around some Asians, as many Western cities are much more interracial and intercultural.

Japanese women can look OR act younger than their age, but neither means that a foreigner can't look at them and figure out their age. So it's actually quite ridiculous and even insulting, when a late 30s Japanese women shows up from an online date site, pretending to be in her 20s. Some older Japanese women can pull it off, but MANY can't.

Part of this is the "Christmas cake" concept imposed by traditional Japanese society on Japanese women. Where older than 25 isn't any good or her "freshness" has expired.

What many Japanese women fail to understand is that most Western guys don't put such restrictions on their age and quality. But being embarrassed about their age is so built into many Japanese women, that they often can't overcome their programming.

I've been in Japan for 5 days now. In the past I've only done P4P in Japan - never had any real "dates." This time, I thought I would mix it up and try to arrange some real dates, and it's worked out pretty well, almost too well because I have more dating opportunities than I have time .

In response to the above post, on Saturday (my first day here), I went for a smoke in the smoking area next to Shinjuku Station and noticed a girl standing in the corner with her back to me. I could tell she had a nice body from the back, but couldn't see her face. I stood next to her and when she noticed me, she immediately stopped texting (it seems like everyone in Japan is constantly texting) and started talking to me. She told me she wanted to practice English and gave me her name, phone number and mail address. She asked me my age and I told her and I said "you're probably, what, 25?" and she smiled widely and said "I'm 36. I've only got four years left and then it's over for me!" I tried to assure her that wasn't the case.

On Tuesday night, I went to a bar in Roppongi when a group of 4 guys and 2 girls entered. One of the girls left her group and joined me at my table where I'm sitting alone, taking the seat right next to me. I said to her "are you all college students?" because they all looked so young. That earned me a big smile and she explained that she was long past college and that these were friends from her golfing club. I later found out she is married and has a 21 year old daughter who looks like one of the AKB girls (she showed me a photo). We exchanged contact info and she wants me to go to Hakone with her for an overnight trip. She also told me she could see me any night next week because her husband is out of town.

I've had a date with a woman I met on Japan Cupid and will meet her again on Friday night. No sex on the first date but she didn't have a problem with making out in public near the entrance to the subway for a few minutes and our date #2 is near where I'm staying. Three other women on Japan Cupid have offered to meet me, but unfortunately there's just not enough time.

Girl #3 is one I met at a Roppongi bar a couple years ago. We've stayed in touch. We had a date on Sunday and will have another one tonight and a third one on Saturday. She's never been married, is 43, lives with her mom in Chiba, and hates her OL job. It's obvious she feels like she's past her expiration date and is looking for someone to rescue her. I asked her if she had dated much since I last saw her and she told me she currently had a boyfriend who is a foreigner but that he is out of the country so she's free to see me whenever.

Compared to P4P, dating has its pros and cons, which I can elaborate on in another post since this one is getting a little long.

 

[Solong]

@sxian

Good to hear that things are going well. It's truly all about giving yourself oppourtunity. Women have a tremendous advantage over men these days, and a lot of guys have unwittingly been played and hurt themselves.

Some cultural tips, for guys who are new to Japan or don't live here.

1. Japanese women may give their phone number or e-mail easily, but then never talk to or never meet you again.

Unlike many Western women, many Japanese women are not usually clear or direct about their feelings. She might be afraid to say no or want to avoid confrontations in front of you. This is part of the Japanese concept of tatemae and honne.

So, don't get happy about getting her contact info. as it can be totally worthless. You won't know she is real until she meets on the date. It is a risk that you must accept, when you talk to women directly, as oppose to a P4P guranteed.

Consequently, talking to women naturally and directly will always be more of a numbers game. Guy should never overly get his hopes up about just 1 woman, until she sees him again on a date.

Note- When getting just a phone number, try to see if she will committ to meeting you on a certain day. Make which days optional or she can suggest a day, but try to see how enthusiastic she is about meeting again versus giving lame excuses.

2. You maybe need to "double book" women on the same day, especially with Japanese women.

This is because Japanese women can tend to be more flaky than Western women, though many women everywhere tend to flake a lot these days.

She may flake by canceling your date at the last second with a horrible excuse. You are suppose to meet Tuesday at 8pm, but she e-mails you at 7pm saying she has a "cold or is suddenly sick".

Double booking would be that you have made dates with 2 women at the same day and time. So if 1 woman flakes on you, then you can meet the other one.

A smart way to do it, so you don't keep losing 1 woman, if 2 agree on the same day is to stagger the times. Meet 1 at 5pm and the other at 8pm. Or, if you cancel, make up a work/good excuse AND tell her an ALTERNATE day that you CAN meet her.

3. A Japanese woman isn't your girlfriend until you had sex with her at least 3x, especially these days.

3x is a reference point, not an absolute number. It's a more modern phenomenon, where Japanese women will meet a guy 1x and have sex with him, then not contact him again.

Many women, not just Japanese, outright LIE about pulling this type of stuff. So don't expect many women to admit to it. There are many reasons for it. She is married or has a live-in boyfriend that she hasn't told you about. She is experimenting sexually with foreigners or different races of guys, you are not the type she can introduce to her backwards and too conservative parents, etc...

Therefore, foreign guys in Japan should keep this in mind and not be surprised if it happens. "Better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

 

[sxian]

Solong, thanks for the advice.

So far, I've had live dates with three women. Last night, the girl I met in Roppongi two years ago came to Roppongi to meet me and we drank until she was drunk. She suggested going back to my place. She said she was going to take the last train, but she missed it and spent the night in my room. She left a little while ago for work.

I'm meeting the Japan Cupid girl for a 2nd date tonight. She's coming to Roppongi. She's cute and friendly but I question how intelligent she is. She has asked me to and give her some advice on a problem. It turns out that someone claiming to be an American diplomat contacted her and told her that her ex-husband was having something delivered in Japan and she needed to send 600,000 yen to cover the delivery charge. I told her not to do it, but she sent the money anyway. After she sent the money, she forwarded me the emails from the so-called diplomat and it was immediately obvious that it was one of those Nigerian scams. I can't believe she was dumb enough to fall for that. The English used in the emails was all wrong and obviously not written by anyone whose first language is English.

The third girl is the married one who is busy making plans for us to go to Hakone for an overnight trip. We have an afternoon date set for next Tuesday too. She seems anxious to spend time with me, and of the three women, she's the one I look forward to seeing the most.

 

[Solong]

@sxian

To have a Roppongi encounter see you again is often good. Definitely she is into you, and you should keep her around if you think she is worth it.

I would say that 50% of my hook ups come from online. That's were a lot of people are at now. However, it seems 30+ tends to be the highest percentage. Where I can meet 20 something when meeting women in person/the street.

Make sure to protect your personal information with married ones and that she has a mind to protect you as well. Have her say that she will protect you.