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Monotonous Routine

RickyJ

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Its been anwhile since I've contributed to TAG and I have a good reason to lay-low. Months ago my partner seemed to have noticed my friendly neighbor to slowly making her advances. Though I continued with my routine and just enjoy the view and not sh-t where I eat, I was informed and somehow turnedout to be my fault. So argument snowballed and a short period of dry-spelled occured, I was put on probation.

She still doesnt know my alternate lifestyle and I dont intend to let anyone else know, I am treading carefuly.

Which leads me to my new thread.

Gone are the days where I get amazing head. Spontaneous sex and all-nighters are gone as well or hopefully temporarily disappeared. Its been one-sided and feels more of a routine. Sex has been lazy and doesnt feel intimate. But everything else seems to be fineand doing well when it comes to other aspects in life. It all sucks (ironic) in the sack.

I almost had to send a calendar invite to hint any intentions of having sex. We're pretty open to each other but she acts like nothing is wrong when I brough it up. I'd be licky if I even get to nut three times a month. Sheesh, torture right?

Leaving her is not an option but my needs are not being filfilled. I'm almost to thebpoint of stepping up my monger game and find someone to meet on a regular basis. Though I have no time to pull a PUA game but rather pull a half-day in my "suit" filled life and just do 3 hour romp with someone somewhere... on a regular basis.

It feels like an emotional blue balls. Youre there but it just cant fill that insatiable thirst I used to get.

Okay, rant over.

Feedback & reactions?

Cheers!


PS

Closing my old thread... no further advances will be happening in or around 50 km of where I live lol
 
Though I continued with my routine and just enjoy the view and not sh-t where I eat, I was informed and somehow turnedout to be my fault. So argument snowballed and a short period of dry-spelled occured, I was put on probation.
Ridiculous.

Why is leaving her not an option? Explain that part...

If the relationship is one-sided and she's not fulfilling your needs, sounds like the issue needs to be addressed or move on.

Are you sure she's not having an alternate lifestyle on her own?
 
Ridiculous.

Why is leaving her not an option? Explain that part...

If the relationship is one-sided and she's not fulfilling your needs, sounds like the issue needs to be addressed or move on.

Are you sure she's not having an alternate lifestyle on her own?
I know, right?

We go way back and we laid out a very good foundation. Financially speaking and relationship-wise. It sounds like a FWB - Roommate arrangement and I can live with that. As long as I get my regular dose... either through her or someone else who can.

I'm pretty sure and had looked into a possible third party but to no avail. I mean, I wish I had caught her so that I can recommend an open relationship.

I wish it was that easy to give an ultimatum to either fix or drop it. A lot of things had been invested and I just cant graciously exit this one without taking a massive loss.

besides, as I said, were flourishing on other aspects of living comfortably but the intimacy just took a big hit.
 
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I wish it was that easy to give an ultimatum to either fix or drop it.

Just tell her you are going to have sex next Friday and ask if she wants to be involved or not ;).

In a more serious note I would recommend talking it out one way or other. Otherwise you are headed for a lonely life together.
 
Oh man, I know what you're saying! Reactivating this ancient account because things have been dryyyyyy AF and my work is beginning to suffer for it haha.

I've never had a live-in relationship that didn't end up in the same spot. Managed a some close FWB relationships where great sex was had for years, but even that gets old sooner or later. I don't think we're wired for monogamy but can't help thinking it'd be manageable if I found a gal who was really into sex.
 
Just tell her you are going to have sex next Friday and ask if she wants to be involved or not ;).

In a more serious note I would recommend talking it out one way or other. Otherwise you are headed for a lonely life together.
We did talk it out but the sex life is definitely fading away. Then again, I wouldnt say lonely since were doing great with everything but the sex part.
 
Oh man, I know what you're saying! Reactivating this ancient account because things have been dryyyyyy AF and my work is beginning to suffer for it haha.

I've never had a live-in relationship that didn't end up in the same spot. Managed a some close FWB relationships where great sex was had for years, but even that gets old sooner or later. I don't think we're wired for monogamy but can't help thinking it'd be manageable if I found a gal who was really into sex.

I feel you man... I had to lay low for a bit and focus on other things but im back to add my ¥10 here and there.

Were definitely not wired for monogamy but due to societal standards and financial requirements, its necessary to stay where im at.
It would be nice to have a FWB thats a train ride away but the risks is something im not planning to gamble with.

So with my new level of comfort and a bit of a dry spell I think I should be fine for a few weeks. If not, I think I can afford to splurge a bit on some "over-time" work at the office. (y)

Its manageable, it definitely is. You just have to pick and choose which ones you can live with then find things that can fill that compromise.

I say these things here much freely because of the anonymity and this is a private lifestyle that I chose to live long before I even met her. So its staying.
 
"Everything Dies" I'm sorry to say...........
 
"Everything Dies" I'm sorry to say...........

I know it will but as long as I still have the foundation$ I established then I should be good.

Its like watching a building getting demolished in slow motion lol I'm just here for the ride
 
I know it will but as long as I still have the foundation$ I established then I should be good.

Its like watching a building getting demolished in slow motion lol I'm just here for the ride
Watching memories crumble? Yea, I know that story very well. I have grown up in that respect.....
 
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You have to be willing to lose everything in your search for happiness

Make no mistake, what you are describing is neglect with some psychological passive aggressiveness thrown in - do not accept it

In my experience, being willing to walk away, and then actually doing it was the shock to the system my partner needed.. Now she is a sex monster because she knows that it is not a given that she can just sleep with me whenever she wants (and now she knows the high quality sex I give her is not so easy to come by either ;) ).. It is not something she can just take for granted

You only have one life to lead OP, believe me there are wonderful women out there who will cherish you, your body and what you can do with it. If your partner is no longer interested, show her a strong boundary that you will not accept a relationship on those terms.. Either she reacts to that and is willing to fight to keep you.. Or the relationship was over long ago.. Either way it's a win win for you

Best wishes

O
 
There's definitely risks with a FWB, but if you can find a sane married one it's pretty great! I've met plenty of ladies in the same spot, dead bedroom and plenty of libido, 'course chemistry is still hard to find.
 
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"Everything Dies" I'm sorry to say...........
Terrible advice lol.. If it's dead, start again with someone new.. Or just enjoy your own company and that of your friends and family

Basically..stop fucking OVER compromising - Negotiate to a position you can both be happy ..if there is not that middle ground then get out of there

Don't be afraid to be alone

Don't let money get in the way

Don't be weak
 
We did talk it out but the sex life is definitely fading away. Then again, I wouldnt say lonely since were doing great with everything but the sex part.
Therapy or trying to discuss the sexlife directly with her could help? Or is she totally ok with the situation and not willing to work on it?

I think many couples can find each other again in bed if they are willing to work on it.
 
Terrible advice lol.. If it's dead, start again with someone new.. Or just enjoy your own company and that of your friends and family

Basically..stop fucking OVER compromising - Negotiate to a position you can both be happy ..if there is not that middle ground then get out of there

Don't be afraid to be alone

Don't let money get in the way

Don't be weak

I'm not really over compromising. Its more of adapting and acceptance. We are just to a point in life that were comfortable where we are ( as we have discussed) and were willing to see where it goes.

Definitely not afraid of being alone. I mean, geez I live in Japan! lol Compared to my old stomping ground in the Midwest, I'm where I want to be. Money is never an issue lol I'm not bragging or saying that i'm a zillionare but its never in the way.
Weakness can be defined in multiple ways but dont confuse my compromise as weakness.
 
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Therapy or trying to discuss the sexlife directly with her could help? Or is she totally ok with the situation and not willing to work on it?

I think many couples can find each other again in bed if they are willing to work on it.

Hi @User#8628 ! Big fan :shame: and have been admiring you from afar.

Speaking of therapy, we'll be seeing someone on our next trip back Stateside during the Holidays. I've been talking to my folks since i'm such a great son lol and they recommended someone. I havent told her yet but I know that she's willing to give it a shot.

This trip should be interesting. Trying to re-ignite a fading flame in the middle of Winter in the Midwest.
 
I'm not really over compromising. Its more of adapting and acceptance. We are just to a point in life that were comfortable where we are ( as we have discussed) and were willing to see where it goes.

Definitely not afraid of being alone. I mean, geez I live in Japan! lol Compared to my old stomping ground in the Midwest, I'm where I want to be. Money is never an issue lol I'm not bragging or saying that i'm a zillionare but its never in the way.
Weakness can be defined in multiple ways but dont confuse my compromise as weakness.
I suppose it's a case of what you are willing to accept .. For me being told "sorry.. No sex anymore" is basically a deal breaker .. And for her to not even discuss it or try to give you a good reason.. Meh

Hope she gets her act together
 
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I suppose it's a case of what you are willing to accept .. For me being told "sorry.. No sex anymore" is basically a deal breaker .. And for her to not even discuss it or try to give you a good reason.. Meh

Hope she gets her act together

I know most people are not willing to accept or compromise but Yeah I'm willing to accept that. If not here then I know somewhere and someone can.

I hope so too. Thats one of the few factors missing to complete this odd relationship lol I also hope that she gets over her little funk that she's going through.
 
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Hi @User#8628 ! Big fan :shame: and have been admiring you from afar.

Speaking of therapy, we'll be seeing someone on our next trip back Stateside during the Holidays. I've been talking to my folks since i'm such a great son lol and they recommended someone. I havent told her yet but I know that she's willing to give it a shot.

This trip should be interesting. Trying to re-ignite a fading flame in the middle of Winter in the Midwest.
Thank you! I hope talking to someone helps. People are too easily ashamed and close up. If you can admit whats wrong to yourself and your partner you can come a far end but both partners should be open for it. I hope she'll make some efforts to get close to you again.
 
Fwiiw, I agree with @User#8628 and others here who are urging you to try to resolve the sexual problems rather than looking for the door immediately. If the rest of the relationship is working as well as you say, abandoning it too easily and quickly is not justified or in anyone's interest imo.

-Ww
 
Thank you! I hope talking to someone helps. People are too easily ashamed and close up. If you can admit whats wrong to yourself and your partner you can come a far end but both partners should be open for it. I hope she'll make some efforts to get close to you again.
I really dont mind talking about it here since its anonymous and I discuss my mongering freely in relation to my dilemma without being judged lol

The scheduled getaway this winter would be a breath of freah air for us regardless if we've fill in that gap :)
 
Fwiiw, I agree with @User#8628 and others here who are urging you to try to resolve the sexual problems rather than looking for the door immediately. If the rest of the relationship is working as well as you say, abandoning it too easily and quickly is not justified or in anyone's interest imo.

-Ww


It is logical to some degree but some people will put in their ¥10 ( and theyre entitled to it) and thats why its another reason I shared it here. I like the fact that people agree to my logic but at the same time other urge to just abandon all hope and move on lol

But considering all other factors of the relationship, I definitely think that I can live with it. I have a few lovely ladies ive been eye-ing for a while that I think can fill in that temporary gap and at the same time check one of my personal boxes in my monger list.