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- Jan 28, 2017
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So it's Saturday night and I was meeting a friend of a friend (off the Internet). She was visiting Tokyo for a few days from America and she wanted me to show her around. We met up and had a few drinks in Shinjuku and got pretty drunk after a couple hours. Our conversation flowed naturally - we had a lot in common and so on. Somewhere along the way we started talking about Shinjuku's red light district (since we were in Shinjuku) and she told me she really wanted to see some naked Japanese girls, try masturbating with different toys, etc. Needless to say, the conversation went 100% perverse with us sharing stories. She gave me a lot of details.
We walked around outside and we frequented many convenience stores and slowly got more and more drunk. She told me she wants to go to a strip club and kept walking up to girls bars in Shinjuku. I told her as two foreigners, and especially since she's a girl, the chances of being accepted into a girls bar is almost none. Eventually I decided that we'd just go to a love hotel because why not. She told me she wanted to watch porn and masturbate. I told her I had a girlfriend but she insisted that we go anyway and that all we'd do is watch porn and not have sex. Since I was so heavily intoxicated I complied but unfortunately, I couldn't find a love hotel. No really. I couldn't. I tried to use Google Maps and I found one but when we went there it wasn't there. By this time it was past midnight and I worked the next morning so I decided I was going to call it a night.
Suddenly she tells me she lost her wallet and that we must go back through Kabukicho. Of course I know the chances of finding a wallet on a Saturday night is extremely difficult. After all, we'd gone to a countless number of convenience stores including Donki. She insisted that we must, so using Google Maps, we tried to go back. She ran into random convenience stores and went around saying "Have you seen my wallet?!?" to random staff members. No luck. I told her the best idea was to go to the police so we walked towards the central part of Shinjuku Station.
Wait... this story is about to get a lot stupider.
She runs into the train station, and by now we're almost at the last train. She runs through the ticket gate setting off the alarm and a security guard runs up to me and says "NO!!!!" and tells me we'll have to pay some fine. I tell him I have an IC card but my friend is a foreigner and doesn't know. I notice that the reason she ran across the gates was to chase a train staff member because she thought he was a policeman. He explains to me us that we have to go downstairs to see the police. Of course, she runs across the gate to exit but when I try the gate closes (because you can't enter/exit at the same station). I live in Japan - I can't take the risk. (Side note: while all of this shit is going on my girlfriend is messaging me wondering where the hell I am). I decide, out of my drunkenness, that I'm going to go get that train staff member and ask him if I can exit the ticket gates. I can't find him and then I notice he's inside one of the train cars. I decide to go onto the train and ask him and behind me shuts the door of the LAST TRAIN. Oh god.
I ask him what I can do and he tells me that I need to go to the next express stop and probably take a cab. The girl messages me wondering where I am and she tells me she's with the police. I ask her which police station since there's so many in Shinjuku. No response. I look down at my phone and it shuts off - no more battery. I wasted it all on freaking Google Maps. I stand there contemplating what to do. If I take a cab back, I have no idea which police station they're at, and I can't get back home, and my girlfriend will be really pissed off, and I work the next morning. I decide that the best thing to do is to get back home and charge my phone and contact her. About an hour later I arrive home and I immediately plug in my phone and message her. I let her know that tomorrow morning I will see her before work and I'll give her money if she needs help because I can imagine it would really suck to lose your wallet while traveling.
She doesn't message me. About 30 minutes later I get a message saying, "So you're this type of guy huh... I'm not okay with this." She then blocks me on Facebook. It's been over a week and I'm still blocked. I sent her an e-mail explaining to her what happened and offering to help her but to no avail.
So.... how was everyone else's Saturday?
We walked around outside and we frequented many convenience stores and slowly got more and more drunk. She told me she wants to go to a strip club and kept walking up to girls bars in Shinjuku. I told her as two foreigners, and especially since she's a girl, the chances of being accepted into a girls bar is almost none. Eventually I decided that we'd just go to a love hotel because why not. She told me she wanted to watch porn and masturbate. I told her I had a girlfriend but she insisted that we go anyway and that all we'd do is watch porn and not have sex. Since I was so heavily intoxicated I complied but unfortunately, I couldn't find a love hotel. No really. I couldn't. I tried to use Google Maps and I found one but when we went there it wasn't there. By this time it was past midnight and I worked the next morning so I decided I was going to call it a night.
Suddenly she tells me she lost her wallet and that we must go back through Kabukicho. Of course I know the chances of finding a wallet on a Saturday night is extremely difficult. After all, we'd gone to a countless number of convenience stores including Donki. She insisted that we must, so using Google Maps, we tried to go back. She ran into random convenience stores and went around saying "Have you seen my wallet?!?" to random staff members. No luck. I told her the best idea was to go to the police so we walked towards the central part of Shinjuku Station.
Wait... this story is about to get a lot stupider.
She runs into the train station, and by now we're almost at the last train. She runs through the ticket gate setting off the alarm and a security guard runs up to me and says "NO!!!!" and tells me we'll have to pay some fine. I tell him I have an IC card but my friend is a foreigner and doesn't know. I notice that the reason she ran across the gates was to chase a train staff member because she thought he was a policeman. He explains to me us that we have to go downstairs to see the police. Of course, she runs across the gate to exit but when I try the gate closes (because you can't enter/exit at the same station). I live in Japan - I can't take the risk. (Side note: while all of this shit is going on my girlfriend is messaging me wondering where the hell I am). I decide, out of my drunkenness, that I'm going to go get that train staff member and ask him if I can exit the ticket gates. I can't find him and then I notice he's inside one of the train cars. I decide to go onto the train and ask him and behind me shuts the door of the LAST TRAIN. Oh god.
I ask him what I can do and he tells me that I need to go to the next express stop and probably take a cab. The girl messages me wondering where I am and she tells me she's with the police. I ask her which police station since there's so many in Shinjuku. No response. I look down at my phone and it shuts off - no more battery. I wasted it all on freaking Google Maps. I stand there contemplating what to do. If I take a cab back, I have no idea which police station they're at, and I can't get back home, and my girlfriend will be really pissed off, and I work the next morning. I decide that the best thing to do is to get back home and charge my phone and contact her. About an hour later I arrive home and I immediately plug in my phone and message her. I let her know that tomorrow morning I will see her before work and I'll give her money if she needs help because I can imagine it would really suck to lose your wallet while traveling.
She doesn't message me. About 30 minutes later I get a message saying, "So you're this type of guy huh... I'm not okay with this." She then blocks me on Facebook. It's been over a week and I'm still blocked. I sent her an e-mail explaining to her what happened and offering to help her but to no avail.
So.... how was everyone else's Saturday?
