Nampa on Japanese women that are interested but too shy to meet in real life?

[TokyoJoeblow]

Ok, so this is something I experience a lot, but not always. I have been more actively doing nampa/trying to talk women into doing AV with me.

Just last night, I asked this one really cute Japanese woman standing alone outside where a particular restaurant was, but when I realized how cute she was up close, I just started hitting on her. I told her she looks really beautiful, kissed her hand, flirted. I tried to get her to go to a love hotel with me last night, but she was already busy meeting her girlfriends, but when I told her to give me a goodnight kiss, we made out on the street for like 2 minutes. I got her Line after that and told her I live in the area and she said she did too. She later messaged me saying she was really happy to meet me and said goodnight. Then tonight after work, I told her to come meet me outside the train station and she was "busy" but later admitted she was just really shy and nervous still. We chatted and I was patient and was friendly to her. She agreed to meet me tomorrow night, but not without about an hour of breaking down the "I'm too shy/nervous" wall. It is sometimes a tough wall to knock down!

Also tonight there were these two cute Japanese women both dressed like Christmas bunnies or something and they seemed to be looking for someone to take a photo for them. Since I was doing nothing/trying to get the shy woman to come meet me, I took a photo of them. They were so happy and we started chatting. One spoke English well and told me that her friend really liked my style and I said "oh really" and kissed her hand. Her friend suddenly said for us to deep kiss and she will take a photo? I was surprised because she seemed so open. Her friend blushed and got super nervous and agreed to only a kiss on the cheek lol. I got their Line ID's but I don't think I will be hearing from them again, which is alright. I have just noticed that Japanese women seem to have moments of extreme bravery, followed by second-guessing, self-doubt, flip-flopping, whatever you want to call it. I know all people experience this not just Japanese women.

I just thought I would share my recent nampa stories and see if anyone on here can relate? It seems that even when you make out and there is some heavy petting going on, that doesn't always mean you will take things all the way. There is still a chance she might flake out or give me LMR on the walk to the love hotel tomorrow night, but I'm not worried about it either way.

Aside from being confident, funny and talking about things the shy women are interested in...what are some other methods for breaking down the "I'm too shy/nervous" wall in person, on the phone or via text?

 

[Sinapse]

This is exactly why it's best not to escalate at all until the sex location

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

This is exactly why it's best not to escalate at all until the sex location

Still difficult to not escalate at all and then suddenly bring a woman to a love hotel lol. Tonight I was able to pull it off because the woman let me make out with her two nights ago and she really likes me.

 

[TAG_Member]

Can't tell how long after the initial contact or how much is leading to it but kissing their hands? A bit too much isn't it?

 

[Jbagz]

Can't tell how long after the initial contact or how much is leading to it but kissing their hands? A bit too much isn't it?

It depends on how he pulled it off and the context of it.

I doubt I would do that, except under a few circumstances.

What works for one guy is rarely universal, some guys can do stuff like that and it doesn't seem like going overboard.

 

[Jbagz]

I just thought I would share my recent nampa stories and see if anyone on here can relate? It seems that even when you make out and there is some heavy petting going on, that doesn't always mean you will take things all the way. There is still a chance she might flake out or give me LMR on the walk to the love hotel tomorrow night, but I'm not worried about it either way.

I've usually had that happen when alcohol is involved. You get them in the moment and they are willing, then the logistics of getting to the Love Hotel puts a damper on it.

More commonly, in a bar environment one of their friends will interfere or at least complicate the departure.

I've always thought it best to not try too hard to reverse the situation when it goes south like that.

Aside from being confident, funny and talking about things the shy women are interested in...what are some other methods for breaking down the "I'm too shy/nervous" wall in person, on the phone or via text?

Have you tried addressing it directly?

What about saying something along the lines that you are a little nervous too? You'd have to tailor this to match your personality.

Ballpark: Explain that it is tough being the confident guy, when inside you are just as nervous too. I would not spend much time on that aspect of it before bringing back to how desirable you think she is.

It depends a lot on the reason she is nervous or shy too.

So many times with Japanese/Korean/Thai girls that "I'm shy" routine is just an obligatory thing they say. I don't think it is so much of holding on to their "good girl" image as much as it is that they think guys find that attractive. I'm pretty sure they get it from movies and TV shows.

Which might be another way you can get around it.

Say that you adore how she is shy and nervous.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Can't tell how long after the initial contact or how much is leading to it but kissing their hands? A bit too much isn't it?

Nothing wrong with being romantic and "European" with the ladies. I have never had a negative reaction to hand kissing. In fact, it is pretty much a dry run for an attempt to kiss their lips, mouth. You should try kissing a woman's hand sometime, it is pretty fun lol.

I always lead up to a hand kiss in context. I never just initialize a random conversation with a hand kiss because that would creep them out. Just compliment them on how they look, smell, their smile, clothes in a really confident voice and kiss their hand without thinking too much about it looking stupid and it will most likely turn out smooth.

Yes, I have seen some guys do it out of context and it is cringeworthy.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

I've usually had that happen when alcohol is involved. You get them in the moment and they are willing, then the logistics of getting to the Love Hotel puts a damper on it.

More commonly, in a bar environment one of their friends will interfere or at least complicate the departure.

I've always thought it best to not try too hard to reverse the situation when it goes south like that.



Have you tried addressing it directly?

What about saying something along the lines that you are a little nervous too? You'd have to tailor this to match your personality.

Ballpark: Explain that it is tough being the confident guy, when inside you are just as nervous too. I would not spend much time on that aspect of it before bringing back to how desirable you think she is.

It depends a lot on the reason she is nervous or shy too.

So many times with Japanese/Korean/Thai girls that "I'm shy" routine is just an obligatory thing they say. I don't think it is so much of holding on to their "good girl" image as much as it is that they think guys find that attractive. I'm pretty sure they get it from movies and TV shows.

Which might be another way you can get around it.

Say that you adore how she is shy and nervous.

Yes, I told her that I think it is really cute that she is shy. I told her that it is natural to be shy and nervous with a new guy, but to meet me and that I would take things slow and be a gentlemen. Most Japanese women I have met love gentlemen.

 

[Exnocomment]

Yes, I have seen some guys do it out of context and it is cringeworthy.

What, I'm shocked.. whatfor do you mean?
WE ARE ALWAYS CHARMING AND POLITE TO M'LADY!

 

[Sinapse]

Most Japanese women I have met love gentlemen.

They say this..

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

They say this..

Yes, quite a few Japanese women I have hit on and hooked up with have been calling me a gentleman. Of course not all of them, but once in a while.

I noticed the ones that do call me a gentleman or enjoy flirting are Disney fans. I know a lot of Japanese women are waiting for their prince/gentleman to come save them from their loneliness, broken hearts, boredom, etc.

 

[Jbagz]

They say this..

But you don't think it is true?

 

[rick]

Yes, quite a few Japanese women I have hit on and hooked up with have been calling me a gentleman. Of course not all of them, but once in a while.

I noticed the ones that do call me a gentleman or enjoy flirting are Disney fans. I know a lot of Japanese women are waiting for their prince/gentleman to come save them from their loneliness, broken hearts, boredom, etc.

Yeah, that's more often than not the female Japanese equivalent of the AFC. Stay away!

 

[Garcian]

I am glad that you guys seem to have a decent amount of success, but I find it a bit questionable reading how "Japanese girls" are stereotyped here. The real kicker towards flirting and seducing, in my most humble opinion, is to forget all your stereotypes, clichees, pre-set stories and just react to the signals the person you are talking to is giving you.

This is just my 50 cents, and no offense by any means. Like I said, I am glad you guys are having a good time.
As for me, I really don't think about any local aspects other than the language, and respond to what I am given in the particular situation, which brings just as much success.

 

[Sinapse]

I am glad that you guys seem to have a decent amount of success, but I find it a bit questionable reading how "Japanese girls" are stereotyped here. The real kicker towards flirting and seducing, in my most humble opinion, is to forget all your stereotypes, clichees, pre-set stories and just react to the signals the person you are talking to is giving you.

This is just my 50 cents, and no offense by any means. Like I said, I am glad you guys are having a good time.
As for me, I really don't think about any local aspects other than the language, and respond to what I am given in the particular situation, which brings just as much success.

You definitely want to react to the girl in real time and give her space to surprise and excite and impress you, but that doesn't mean you need to throw away all knowledge and assumptions you have about Japanese girls. One simple example is pulling girls from clubs. In the West the most successful guys make out with girls in the club and then pull them out when they're hot and horny. But for a variety of reasons with Japanese girls most of the time that will lead to them not wanting to leave with you.

There are definite and clear patterns of behavior for which you can learn through experience. Of course, still in each individual interaction you want to adapt to the girl herself and give her space to be herself and tell you who she is.

So it's really both for me. But there are some things which if you really do want more success in Japan it's good to understand and adapt to that because it definitely is not universal. Some things are, many aren't.

 

[Garcian]

So it's really both for me. But there are some things which if you really do want more success in Japan it's good to understand and adapt to that because it definitely is not universal. Some things are, many aren't.

Seeing this from the opposite perspective, should we encourage a Japanese man to go making out in clubs if he leaves Japan, because it is "more common" in the West?
I don't think we should. He might feel some pressure that might in the end ruin whatever he has going on.

I (and others) have made out with girls in clubs and bars, and still took them home. Sometimes, I waited because I could sense it was better. It really depends on the situation and atmosphere much more than anything.

While I do agree that of course there are some things that are more common (or uncommon) here than in other places, I still enjoy the mood of the situation much more than living by rules than might not even exist. Flirting should be fun and spontaneous to me.

I highly appreciate your approach, too, though.

 

[Sinapse]

Seeing this from the opposite perspective, should we encourage a Japanese man to go making out in clubs if he leaves Japan, because it is "more common" in the West?
I don't think we should. He might feel some pressure that might in the end ruin whatever he has going on.

I (and others) have made out with girls in clubs and bars, and still took them home. Sometimes, I waited because I could sense it was better. It really depends on the situation and atmosphere much more than anything.

While I do agree that of course there are some things that are more common (or uncommon) here than in other places, I still enjoy the mood of the situation much more than living by rules than might not even exist. Flirting should be fun and spontaneous to me.

I highly appreciate your approach, too, though.

Sure sure. For me it's just that after 1000s and 1000s of approaches and interactions with women you see a lot of patterns that would be pretty dumb to ignore. You might think it's restrictive on the interaction but actually, it allows you to be more free, not less in much the same way that when you learn to paint you must learn rules of perspective, shading, mediums and materials, techniques, etc, but those allow you to actually better express yourself, whereas while anyone can make art, most are not great at it. Writing is another similar example. Read hundreds of books and write hundreds of thousands of words and you learn more about the patterns of expression, the rules of grammar and where they can be bent and for what purpose to better express yourself and liberate yourself.

 

[Jbagz]

Sure sure. For me it's just that after 1000s and 1000s of approaches and interactions with women you see a lot of patterns that would be pretty dumb to ignore. You might think it's restrictive on the interaction but actually, it allows you to be more free, not less in much the same way that when you learn to paint you must learn rules of perspective, shading, mediums and materials, techniques, etc, but those allow you to actually better express yourself, whereas while anyone can make art, most are not great at it. Writing is another similar example. Read hundreds of books and write hundreds of thousands of words and you learn more about the patterns of expression, the rules of grammar and where they can be bent and for what purpose to better express yourself and liberate yourself.

Great examples. After all, we are talking about communication.

While painting and writing are one-way communication, talking to a girl in a club is two-way.

It can be more challenging and to ignore knowledge of social patterns would be pretty dumb.

Police interrogators, psychologists, salespeople and many other professions that involve two-way communication utilize the same skills and they are very attentive to patterns of social behavior.

Understanding the the person's culture and sub culture will undoubtedly help you understand the signals they are giving you.