Need some advice regarding relationship with japanese girl\woman

[ShikkokuNoSenshi]

Greetings TAG dwellers! I need an advice from you. I will try to tell my story in short and would like to hear some advice from experienced people here.

So, for last half a year I am dating japanese girl (or woman ). Things were really slow in last year. I constantly had impression that she treats me only as a friend because all my tries to proceed in relationship were awkwardly stopped...
Big turn was on Christmas. After half a year of sporadic dates (at least I was thinking about those meetings as dates) I wanted at last to move to next step i.e. have some sex. Also I know that Christmas in Japan is special day for couples. So I prepared to most of my extent: got some nice french perfumes as present for her, ordered table in nice russian cousin restaurant (cause I am from Ukraine and wanted to treat her with food native for me) not far from her home , got my best clothes etc. Overall time in restaurant was ok but after I volunteered to lead her home I again got awkward refuse... I was in a state "fuck all this shit" but anyway politely gave her prepared present. She was like - "Oh, thank you. Sorry I didn't prepare anything for you". But when I came home and checked facebook I got a lot of thanking messages from her because she opened the present and saw that it was actual good french perfumes (which I actually bought in Paris in brand shop during my business trip there several months before).
Next time we met on January 8 when I wanted to go to Oedo Onsen Monogatari on Odaiba with friends and just casually called her with us. She agreed. Due to some coincidence only I and she were able to come. And when we were there I saw a drastic change in her behavior with me so I decided to give it another try.
One of my friends advised me to call her for some shot trip together where we would share room\bed and there everything will quickly should become clear. So I several days ago I actually have called her for such trip to tennen onsen (which means real natural onsen, not those man made onsen) on long weekend of 10-12 February. She agreed.

Now we arrive to questions part.
- Do I understand her behavior well and I will not end in that super awkward situation when I would try to engage her during our trip and would receive something on level "I thought that we are on tomodachi trip" etc? I really hate such situations because something like that already happened to me once and I was feeling like dumbest person in universe that time.
- So if answer for first question is "Yes, she is ready to have some physical training time with you" then can anybody advice some place with tennen onsen or at least looking like tennen onsen and rooms that have good soundproof walls. Since I do not want anybody to disturb us during asobu time because we are noisy .

 

[jhingy567]

how old is she? do you think she might be a virgin?
I think there are some naive girls out there who don't realize what men want, so it might indeed be seen as just a friend trip. But if she looks experienced, then i think you'll get your dick wet between 10-12 feb.

 

[ShikkokuNoSenshi]

how old is she? do you think she might be a virgin?
I think there are some naive girls out there who don't realize what men want, so it might indeed be seen as just a friend trip. But if she looks experienced, then i think you'll get your dick wet between 10-12 feb.

Well, I do not know her age exactly but should not be more then 35. And why I think she can be a virgin - the way how he handles herself with me lately. It brought me some high school memories when nor I nor girls I was trying to date know what we should do....

Also it creates some perception problems for me. I am actually do not plan to marry her. Because she is older then me and our interests are really different. All I want is to give her some good time and have a good time along the way myself. But after her behavior change I got some feeling that maybe she started to treat our relationship too seriously....

 

[MikeH]

But if she looks experienced, then i think you'll get your dick wet between 10-12 feb.

If she was experienced the only way you need to wait that long is you don't know how to treat the situation.

I can understand, well sort of anyway, the long game if one is looking for a relationship with small humans and all that, but if the end goal is just to get your pecker wet then dude, there are so many faster and easier ways than this girl.

 

[ShikkokuNoSenshi]

If she was experienced the only way you need to wait that long is you don't know how to treat the situation.

I can understand, well sort of anyway, the long game if one is looking for a relationship with small humans and all that, but if the end goal is just to get your pecker wet then dude, there are so many faster and easier ways than this girl.

Well, I will not assert that I am very experienced with girls and relationship. Coming from poor family in rather poor country I had to fight my way in this life. So for most of my adult life I didn't have money to hangup with girls. And only last year I got really decent job with more or less decent salary for Japan (and HELLA SHITTON OF MONEY in terms of Ukraine ). But at least I understand that when I am trying to kiss girl\woman on our 5+ date and she awkwardly turning her face should definitely mean that further engage is not welcomed...

 

[Desktop]

Wait are you sure you are dating? It sounds like going out with a friend.

 

[TAG Manager]

Wait are you sure you are dating? It sounds like going out with a friend.

Agreed. That's clearly what I'm reading and I'm betting it doesn't progress further - Your story is not unlike many others.

 

[ShikkokuNoSenshi]

Wait are you sure you are dating? It sounds like going out with a friend.

When I have mentioned 5+ date that was about time before her behavior change. After Christmas we went out 3 times and 2 of those times some japanese people we met asked her if I am her danna-san . Her response reaction was like in some romance anime

Anyway. Maybe anybody can suggest any onsen place I described in 1st post? Because just in case I want to plan my budget for possible trip.

 

[roots reggae]

When I have mentioned 5+ date that was about time before her behavior change. After Christmas we went out 3 times and 2 of those times some japanese people we met asked her if I am her danna-san . Her response reaction was like in some romance anime

Anyway. Maybe anybody can suggest any onsen place I described in 1st post? Because just in case I want to plan my budget for possible trip.

Here's the Onsen Adventures thread:

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/onsen-adventures.10692/

If you can go three hours away, Takaragawa Onsen would be my first choice.

If you want two hours away, Amagiso is nice. You need swimsuits for the day there. They also have a private onsen to reserve.

 

[warubuta]

It looks to me like she doesnt want to be your girlfriend. This is either because she doesnt 'like you that way' or she knows you will not be marrying her and she is only intersted in dating as a path to marriage. It is one or the other. The best advice is to cut your losses and move on. But if you insist on seeing this out to the bitter end, here is what I suggest. Ask her if you should book one room or two for the onsen. If she says two, then say ok, but then cancel a few days later and make up some obvious BS reason. She will understand and all will be OK. If she says one room, then you should be OK too, and you should take this ias an agreement that there will be sex. But I must would warn you, this looks like trouble to me. She might wig out on you and cause all kinds of trouble. 35 year old inexperienced J women are very dangerous. Even if you are honest and transparent, the will see things completely differently and they will figure out how to pull you into a world of pain that you cannot imagine. Cut your losses. Or proceed with extreme caution.

 

[Desktop]

There is no mention of romance or anything to understand what she may be thinking. For example we make out but have not spent a nite together. She leaves me with a kiss, we always hold hands on our date.
I do not believe she is inexperienced in fact she might be really dating someone else which is common & thinking of this guy as someone to hang out with once in a while. If your conversations are in English or not Japanese you could also be her language exchange buddy.

 

[e-smile]

wow 6 months !?
that's way too much

how old is she? do you think she might be a virgin?
I think there are some naive girls out there who don't realize what men want, so it might indeed be seen as just a friend trip. But if she looks experienced, then i think you'll get your dick wet between 10-12 feb.

she ? I thought HE might be a virgin

 

[warubuta]

wow 6 months !?
that's way too much

she ? I thought HE might be a virgin

He’s not a virgin. But his only experience is with Ukrainian farm girls.

 

[MikeH]

He’s not a virgin. But his only experience is with Ukrainian farm girls.

Hell yeah, if it has been Ukrainian farm girls he definitely is not a virgin, but thoroughly and happily fucked dude.

 

[warubuta]

Hell yeah, if it has been Ukrainian farm girls he definitely is not a virgin, but thoroughly and happily fucked dude.

If you are happy fucking girls with moustaches and biceps bigger than your own....Girls from Kiev are a different story.

 

[roots reggae]

If you are happy fucking girls with moustaches and biceps bigger than your own....Girls from Kiev are a different story.

Coming from an expert with vast personal experience?

 

[warubuta]

Coming from an expert with vast personal experience?

Yes. The Russian Bar in Nonbeiyokocho.

 

[MikeH]

If you are happy fucking girls with moustaches and biceps bigger than your own....Girls from Kiev are a different story.

Last I checked Kiev was still in Ukraine. Of course you need to check at least daily now with the business with all them guys on holiday from the Soviet Army.

And any normally build girl would have biceps bigger than mine, that's why I prefer petite spinners. I only need muscles enough to raise a beer jug, even the masturbation I have outsourced nowadays.

 

[usualblue]

I’d make one more move on her to see how she responds before dropping dough on a romantic weekend that could result in blue balls.

I was in a situation with a super-hot woman last year. Lots of dates, hand-holding and even slept together in her bed, but she always refused sex. Whenever I pushed it, she would grow cold and ignore me for a while. Even mentioning sex would turn her off. She said Japanese people don’t talk about sex.

Just heard from her again from out of the blue after several months. She asked if we could try again to be “soul mates.” Haven’t met her in person since then, but it’s tempting. What stops me is I know that the results are likely to be the same as before. Wasted time and money.

 

[LKjdklfje64j]

Things were really slow in last year. I constantly had impression that she treats me only as a friend because all my tries to proceed in relationship were awkwardly stopped...

You...basically answered your own question I think.

 

[e-smile]

I’d make one more move on her to see how she responds before dropping dough on a romantic weekend that could result in blue balls.

I was in a situation with a super-hot woman last year. Lots of dates, hand-holding and even slept together in her bed, but she always refused sex. Whenever I pushed it, she would grow cold and ignore me for a while. Even mentioning sex would turn her off. She said Japanese people don’t talk about sex.

Just heard from her again from out of the blue after several months. She asked if we could try again to be “soul mates.” Haven’t met her in person since then, but it’s tempting. What stops me is I know that the results are likely to be the same as before. Wasted time and money.

let her date a Japanese people if she wants someone who act like them or think they are a good example to follow.

 

[warubuta]

I’d make one more move on her to see how she responds before dropping dough on a romantic weekend that could result in blue balls.

I was in a situation with a super-hot woman last year. Lots of dates, hand-holding and even slept together in her bed, but she always refused sex. Whenever I pushed it, she would grow cold and ignore me for a while. Even mentioning sex would turn her off. She said Japanese people don’t talk about sex.

Just heard from her again from out of the blue after several months. She asked if we could try again to be “soul mates.” Haven’t met her in person since then, but it’s tempting. What stops me is I know that the results are likely to be the same as before. Wasted time and money.

It might turn out that she has a dick. There was a movie about that. Watch out!

 

[warubuta]

Last I checked Kiev was still in Ukraine. Of course you need to check at least daily now with the business with all them guys on holiday from the Soviet Army.

And any normally build girl would have biceps bigger than mine, that's why I prefer petite spinners. I only need muscles enough to raise a beer jug, even the masturbation I have outsourced nowadays.

I know its in the Ukraine. Thats why I said it was an exception...Anyway, there are hot Ukranians all over the world.

You have inspired me to go down to sexy cat for lunch and have a beer or two on the way back to the office. Gotta start this week off in a civilized fashion.

 

[MikeH]

It might turn out that she has a dick.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

[warubuta]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

For the OP I assume it would be a bad thing. For me it would be a bad thing. I will do just about anything except dicks. My own being the lone exception.