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Gaijin007

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Its almost 3 years I have been to Tokyo, Away from from loved ones its very difficult. Initial days it was fun as i used to call escorts for paid sex . But now I dont enjoy paid sex at all , I feel the need of girlfriend who sleeps with me not only for money.
Please suggest how to find girlfriend in Tokyo, I have tried tinder and other social app but its all waste. Japanese girls are too shy and suspicious to differentiate between genuine guy and con man.
 
yes, I am an engineer working in Tokyo. I went to international meetup party but its very difficult as male/female ratio is too high. Though I got couple of offers , one I met on metro train, we got down in same station, she gave me her number and I asked her to come my place but she denied as she told that her bf is waiting for her and its too late and then while saying goodbye we hugged n kissed for minutes but I dont know why she never replied to my call.
 
Do you have some Japanese friends?
Try to increase your circle and talk to people. If you are introduced, they should be a bit less reserved about talking to you.
 
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Most of the Japanese girls are interested to talk to foreigners for language exchange only. I dont have any local friends as i dont know japanese.
 
Guuu said:
Go out, meet people, do things you love.

Probably one of the most important things about attracting the right girl is becoming an interesting person yourself.
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I know
bananajoe said:
Do you have some Japanese friends?
Try to increase your circle and talk to people. If you are introduced, they should be a bit less reserved about talking to you.
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I dont 't want to get involve in my workplace. People where I work are too old ,
Gaijin007 said:
Its almost 3 years I have been to Tokyo, Away from from loved ones its very difficult. Initial days it was fun as i used to call escorts for paid sex . But now I dont enjoy paid sex at all , I feel the need of girlfriend who sleeps with me not only for money.
Please suggest how to find girlfriend in Tokyo, I have tried tinder and other social app but its all waste. Japanese girls are too shy and suspicious to differentiate between genuine guy and con man.
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Please suggest me methods to increase social circle , how to approach a japanese girls. Its very difficult to draw conclusion whether they like me or not.
 
Anna Summer said:
Do you have any hobbies or a social activity you really like? It's easy to connect with people that way
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since you are girl , you can answer my question better, how can a guy impress you to have casual relationship atleast ?
 
Gaijin007 said:
since you are girl , you can answer my question better, how can a guy impress you to have casual relationship atleast ?
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Well it's actually not that difficult. Have a hobby or something you have passion for. It gives you a positive vibe and women can feel that. It makes you automatically more open and more likely to stay around you. Even just for a casual relationship. Negativity is never working well and more a turn off - at least for me. Dark and negative minded people pull me down and it's no fun to be around them.
 
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Gaijin007 said:
Its almost 3 years I have been to Tokyo, Away from from loved ones its very difficult. Initial days it was fun as i used to call escorts for paid sex . But now I dont enjoy paid sex at all , I feel the need of girlfriend who sleeps with me not only for money.
Please suggest how to find girlfriend in Tokyo, I have tried tinder and other social app but its all waste. Japanese girls are too shy and suspicious to differentiate between genuine guy and con man.
Click to expand...

Don't limit yourself to just J-girls. There women in Tokyo from other parts of Asia and beyond who could be potential GFs. As fellow foreigners, you would have something in common. Also, such women are more likely to speak English.
 
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If you find a girl you like and you want a relationship even if it's a casual one, don't try to land her the first time you meet. Don't even make it seem like you're looking for a GF, just approach her and act like you want to be her friend. Then go out with her as a friend and see if you can move it into something more casual relationship like. @Gaijin007 has an excellent point about meeting non J women. I was on a website and saw a profile of a girl who is viet and pretty, but she posted something about generally being body conscious. I wrote her a nice note about not too worry about it, that I didn't know any woman who wasn't body conscious and that she was pretty. With some kind words I now have a playdate for a week from Saturday no p4p and since I have no profile picture she has no idea what I look like. That play date could turn into something else and isn't p4p.
 
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the not dating jwomen is a nice advice anyway... i never met anyone who liked people interested in japanese people only, except for the foreigner hunting lot (nothing wrong with that)... so if you want to date people because of their nationality, you need to find people interested in your own nationality...
other than that, there is not much you can do besides going out... no girl will be knocking at your door, all of a sudden...
keep in mind, their is no guaranty anyway... im here for seven years now, got lots of friends, so i get invited and introduced quite often, meet a lot of people and so on... im using dating apps for 7 years on a daily basis (which is bad enough in the first place), but i can not remember the last date i had... honestly, guess some people are just unlucky...
go out, meet people and make the most of it...
 
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Funnily enough, the most effective way to attract the attention of women in Japan seems to be to get married.

But in all seriousness, try meetup.com, and get involved in social circles doing things that interest you. You'll meet like-minded people, increase your social network, and overall be less lonely and more content - which in turn makes you more attractive to women.
 
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why do you need someone to love you?

I am seeing two women right now, both who probably love me (I know its arrogant to put it like that)

I don't need them (my dick needs them occasionally)

but if i was without them, I would be more or less just as happy

stop looking for others to "fix" you, fix yourself
 
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owlet said:
why do you need someone to love you?

I am seeing two women right now, both who probably love me (I know its arrogant to put it like that)

I don't need them (my dick needs them occasionally)

but if i was without them, I would be more or less just as happy

stop looking for others to "fix" you, fix yourself
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^^^^^
THIS!
 
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The more you want something usually the more desperate you seem and the more that repels women. As a woman, I would suggest following the advice of others and focus on working on yourself (mind, body and soul.) Not only with the intent to attract women but to be happy in yourself so you don't feel the NEED for love.

As for causal relationship....there are SO many opportunities for that. Just keep yourself open and expose yourself (not literally ;)) to new experiences and types of people. Let people come to you, if you chase to hard and too soon you'll scare them off.

owlet said:
why do you need someone to love you?

I am seeing two women right now, both who probably love me (I know its arrogant to put it like that)

I don't need them (my dick needs them occasionally)

but if i was without them, I would be more or less just as happy

stop looking for others to "fix" you, fix yourself
Click to expand...

Owlet, I don't think your example is that helpful in this case, as you are clearly using, (and I hope im wrong here) emotionally manipulating, or at the very least, leading on two women when its quite easy to get laid with out emotionally hurting others and being honest. Sounds like OP looking for actual connection and a relationship. I agree, however that you shouldn't rely on anyone to fix or even complete you. It's just a shame you kinda contradict yourself there a little because, if you'd be happy without them, you'd let them go and they could love someone who would love them back ;).
 
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As others have said, get some hobbies and interests. Your social life will naturally expand from that. And i think most girls would rather be with a guy who has common interests and at least a few common friends.
Guys without any hobbies come across as being boring or too obsessed with work.
And guys without friends seem untrustworthy.
 
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I hate to break it to you.. like most said above you gotta first fix yourself. society in general is very vain especialy on first impressions. you need to be physically attractive to some extent. groom yourself, dress well, always be clean shaved, good hygiene etc... the simple things that most people over see. get these basics right and youl realise that its a strong start.

As for activities, get into fitness activities... local gyms or yoga studios have lots of nice women or join adventure groups. if thats not your thing then maybe a cooking class or book club or so... never reek of desperation. girls can smell it a mile away and that reduces your stock. build social capital. all the best!
 
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If you don't like the club scene, hit up events happening in Tokyo especially the Yoyogi park festivals. Lots of friendly outgoing people there.
 
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Glock said:
never reek of desperation. girls can smell it a mile away and that reduces your stock. build social capital. all the best!
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Indeed, so the best way to attract females is to get a girlfriend :p. Immediately you don't feel desperate anymore and girls will feel that. Additionally you have been qualified as fit for boyfriend by one girl which leads others to believe you are a good guy.

And yes, I understand that this advice doesn't help at all. :oops:
 
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Whateveryouwant said:
The more you want something usually the more desperate you seem and the more that repels women. As a woman, I would suggest following the advice of others and focus on working on yourself (mind, body and soul.) Not only with the intent to attract women but to be happy in yourself so you don't feel the NEED for love.

As for causal relationship....there are SO many opportunities for that. Just keep yourself open and expose yourself (not literally ;)) to new experiences and types of people. Let people come to you, if you chase to hard and too soon you'll scare them off.



Owlet, I don't think your example is that helpful in this case, as you are clearly using, (and I hope im wrong here) emotionally manipulating, or at the very least, leading on two women when its quite easy to get laid with out emotionally hurting others and being honest. Sounds like OP looking for actual connection and a relationship. I agree, however that you shouldn't rely on anyone to fix or even complete you. It's just a shame you kinda contradict yourself there a little because, if you'd be happy without them, you'd let them go and they could love someone who would love them back ;).
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I do wrestle with the ethics of it.. But believe that as I have been honest with my intentions, it's up to them to decide whats best for them

I'm not going to push them away to help them.. I don't know what is better for them than they do

although.. if one of them did leave I would be a little upset i expect
 
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Glock said:
I hate to break it to you.. like most said above you gotta first fix yourself. society in general is very vain especialy on first impressions. you need to be physically attractive to some extent. groom yourself, dress well, always be clean shaved, good hygiene etc... the simple things that most people over see. get these basics right and youl realise that its a strong start.

As for activities, get into fitness activities... local gyms or yoga studios have lots of nice women or join adventure groups. if thats not your thing then maybe a cooking class or book club or so... never reek of desperation. girls can smell it a mile away and that reduces your stock. build social capital. all the best!
Click to expand...
That valuable advice. I will to join some club, but its very slow process isn't it. Hope for the best.
Anna Summer said:
Well it's actually not that difficult. Have a hobby or something you have passion for. It gives you a positive vibe and women can feel that. It makes you automatically more open and more likely to stay around you. Even just for a casual relationship. Negativity is never working well and more a turn off - at least for me. Dark and negative minded people pull me down and it's no fun to be around them.
Click to expand...

Thanks for suggestion dear. you could not believe the kind of optimist person I am. I m perfect example of the proverb " try again and again till you succeed ".but I am still in try again and again mode. People I am attracted to don’t Like me back and people attracted towards me I dont like them. It seems I am stuck in vicious circle.
 
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