Non-japanese Woman Needs Dating Advice...

[TAG Manager]

Too bad the OP never came back on this one, would have been a good discussion.

 

[e-smile]

Guys, I need advice.

I'm a 39 years old European woman, the Amelie-type (smiling eyes, slim body). Married young, divorced young. As for easy dating and/or forming deep relationships, I guess life has been easy on me, there were always guys around me who were interested. Meeting guys always happened pretty much spontaneously. So I can't even believe I have to write this post, but anyway...

After living in various cities in Europe and then in New York, I've been living in Tokyo for some time now as a researcher, and while Tokyo is a great and fun city, it's not the most spontaneous city in the world... and in fact quite a difficult place for a foreigner woman looking for relationships. Most of the guys in their late thirties - early forties here - (Japanese and non-Japanese) are either married or are interested in Japanese women in their 20s...

I'm not so much the clubbing type, but I go out sometimes. I use Meetup, it's fun, especially the sport and outdoor events are great, although most often than not the public events are either teenage parties or free language exchange.
Haven't tried InterNations yet.
Or Tinder. (At this point, I'm not primarily looking for quick hook-ups...)
Roppongi seems more like a "big white dude - drunk Japanese girl" scene - or maybe I just haven't found its secret yet?

So the questions are:

Where to find the the unmarried guys in their early forties who are interested in non-Japanese women?
You know, the nice guys?
Does this species exist at all?? (I guess it is.)
But where in Tokyo???

there are many ways :
- sport activities in general and team sports in particular would be a good way if your first idea is to have friends then meet someone in friend circle (I'm not into clubbing either so that would have been my way if I was single).
- the political activities way if you're into that.
- you may also want to try NGO stuff.
- music is also a way if you play an instrument.
- opening/closing parties for art galleries, I met many interesting people through that.

 

[impish]

Too bad the OP never came back on this one, would have been a good discussion.

maybe she met someone?

 

[cute_cat]

Dear All,
Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it!

I am replying very late, and it's because there very major developments in my case And now I'm ready to share with you guys.
Also, for some reasons I couldn't see the later comments at that time, I just read them right now.

So, without knowing you, thank you.
The tips you all gave were very helpful, because they pointed out that I first needed to clarify for myself what I was looking for, and then taking the necessary steps.

What I did, eventually, was register on Pairs. It looked like a serious site, with real people. Of course, it's a mixed bag, but the overall experience was good, partly because of the filters and profile settings are safe there. Also, I found that it was worth taking the time answering the initial questions as much as I could, so it was easier to look for men with similar values, interests, hobbies, etc. (And it was a good language practice, too, as it's only in Japanese.)
And a month or so after registering, I met someone there, a Tokyo guy who worked in Europe before. We started messaging, and agreed to meet. It was very nice. And half a year later, we got married.

I'm sharing my story because it might help others in a similar situation.

And I recommend Pairs for anyone who is looking for a relationship, even for friendship it might be a good source. Who knows. Good experience.
Happy Valentine, everyone!
Cheers!

 

[ShowaJidai]

Wow! TAG really came through for somebody. Amazing!