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Osaka Area Osaka Deriheru to AVOID AT ALL COSTS

Kaitodoraemon

TAG Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2017
Messages
15
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Service and/or Provider's Name:
Kareshi no ja manzoku dekinai sokushaku oneesan

Date of Encounter:
19th December

Contact Method:
Telephone

Appointment Length & Costs:
65 minutes for 13,000 yen(used coupon)

Type/Location:
Airbnb

Language Notes:
Japanese only

Details of the Encounter:
Hi,

I have been a long time lurker here and appreciate all the reviews given by fellow gaijins! But heres a story I could never get out of my head at all about this horrible deriheru.

I was horny that night and just did a simple google search for fuzoku's that could service gaijins and stumbled upon this:
https://fuzoku.jp/krsmzsso/

So I checked out the schedule and found a girl I like called Iruka, then I called the number and asked for Iruka. At this point, I was trying to disguise myself as a Japanese and it went smoothly until the staff asked for my address. I think probably because I gave him the address upside down, he already suspected that I am gaijin and he asked if I was, to what I replied as yes. well anyway, he asked for my phone number so at that point itself I was already unable to provide it so my disguise would fail anyways.

At that point, he told me Iruka could not do gaijins and told me that I cannot choose the girls. He would select one girl for me, so I told him to at least please provide me a loli type girl, and that bastard said he would give me a loli girl.

So I waited about 30 minutes, and heard the knock on the door. In the 30 minutes before this, I was told to shower as the girl they are sending is supposed to be able to go straight to action without shower, hence had me excited. I had already imagined all the horny details about some AV stuff I just watched on pornhub. So I opened the door.

Suddenly there was a guy, and he got me scared. Because usually the deriheru's I had in Tokyo only send in the girl, but this one had me pay first BEFORE seeing the girl. Me being gullible and trusting the staff to give me a loli girl, handed over the cash to the guy but at this point I still wasnt able to see the girl.

Once the money changed hands, then only the guy called the girl and to my ancestors limp balls, I was shocked to the core to see a fucking whale. She was ugly, she had this big mole on her face, and not in any universe do I see myself realising my fantasies with her. I was so disappointed, but its like I was frozen and just invited her in. At this time, my head only thought to just enjoy it as I have already paid. Thats when she opened her mouth...

She is sooo outspoken with her stupid kansai accent which I could not understand at all. She asked me what I wanted, and I was like... uhhh... I dunno just do whatever. Basically she was loud and annoying. So she asked me to strip, which I reluctantly did as my cock was limp as a turtles neck, it had to hide itself from her. And she had a look at my cock and I think at this point she kinda knows whats wrong with me.

Despite that, she asked me to lie down on my bed, and sucked on my nipples while her hands, ROUGHLY crushing my cock! I couldnt get it up at all and she asked me if I was tired from work, to which I agreed. After a few minutes, we realize that this isnt going well at all, so she offered me a massage.

She told me she worked at a massage shop some years back, so at that point, I was relieved to know that probably there is some value to get out of this, but her massage SUCKS! I couldnt feel shit. and again I was disappointed.

While having the shitty massage, she tried to break the ice by talking with me. She asked me what are my types and I told her I liked loli's. At that point, she realized that I was so disappointed when she turned up and soon she said her time is up. Not only were my balls limp as hell, I also had to put up with her stupid stories about her boyfriend who gives her nice fingering.

So she left and I was so pissed at the fucking staff. He actually said YES when I asked for a loli and when he sent that whale, it was like he was laughing at me. I would appreciate other deriherus who straight up tell you they dont service gaijins rather than people who blatantly lie to your face.

Guys, please... AVOID those cheap ass 15,000 yen and below deriheru's as they will definitely rip u off.

Review Independence: Was this review requested by the provider/agency?:
This review was written freely without a request from the agency/provider.

Final Thoughts:
Not Recommended.

Closing Comments:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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Well... thanks for the report, much appreciated. That's one hell of a name.

Approved: 1/4/2019
 
13k iwould either spend on thermae, a good thai therapy massage, though no enough for a good kobe beef.
a chinese saying, 钱要用在刀刃上- spend the money where it worth even if you feel the pain/pinch, if not, don't waste your money just bcos it is cheap and serve no purpose.
 
That's what you get for being a gaijin trying to play in Osaka, lol. Should've called up JEGC or JFF. They have shops over there.
 
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You must have been horny as fuck to think there'd actually be loli-kei girls at a shop with お姉さん in its name.

I can't find any reviews of that shop, the girl you wanted has no photo journal, they told you foreigners can't even fucking shimei? Garbage shop...
 
That's what you get for being a gaijin trying to play in Osaka, lol. Should've called up JEGC or JFF. They have shops over there.

Amen. As a six-year veteran (victim) of Osaka City I will continue to try to do my part and remind TAG's lurkers that the mystical land of Naniwa-ku and basically all of Kansai Prefecture fucking BLOWS compared to Tokyo, and you either suck it up and pay your 12k at Tobita or brave the slummy, scummy back alleys of Umeda or Nipponbashi and keep plenty of hand sanitizer in your backpack. Sure, I've mounted some fugglies (fat and ugly) around Tennoji Station and in the backstreets of Banzaicho and Toganocho but I never paid for it. Well, unless you count the cost of the condoms, the Christmas-themed love hotel and then the three or four Suntory Highball tallboys to try forgetting about what I just did.

If you're bored, naive or desperate enough to visit Osaka, keep in mind there's a set itinerary you can follow that will allow you to experience everything the entire prefecture is good for.

1) Begin at Osaka Station in the morning, about 9am.

2) Catch JR Thunderbird to JR Kyoto Station.

3) Exit station, buy road beers and walk to Kamo River.

4) At river, pick up rocks and throw them at the fleabag hippies from Portland, OR playing their mandolins and shakuhachi on the riverbank. Repeat many times for five minutes, or until you think the cops are coming. Mind you, you can engage in this treasured sport all the way up the river to Sanjo and beyond. Be sure to record on your cellphone so you can laugh about it again on the plane ride back home.

5) Go back to JR Kyoto around lunch, catch the train heading back toward Osaka to the Yamazaki Distillery in North Osaka.

6) Go to distillery, skip the tour, go straight to tasting room and purchase the 2,800-yen samples of Yamazaki 25-year, Hakushu 25-year and maybe some cheaper samples of 18-year blends like Yoichi. Get a good buzz going and walk back to JR station. Catch the train back to JR Osaka around 4pm.

7) Once back at JR Osaka, transfer lines and head to Tennoji. Once there, walk to Tobita Shinchi. Begin walking up and down the blocks. If it's nearing 5pm and especially if it's on a Friday or Saturday, the hottest girls will be coming out around then.

8) Fuck. Quickly. You have 20 minutes.

9) Put your clothes on and start walking toward Osaka Zoo and stick to the main road. The good part about that area is thanks to Abeno Harukas as a landmark, supposedly the tallest building in Japan, you can never lose your bearings. There are also a beer garden and bar at the top floor observatory, in case you're itching to drop fifty bucks just to have a few beers with a view. Just past the zoo and before Shin-Imamiya Station you will find Spa World Osaka, the greatest theme park onsen in Japan. This is where, for 1,200 yen, you will wash the stink of Tobita off your crotch in multiple themed baths and then enjoy a few beers in the rotenburo before having a cheerful Korean lady further scrub all evidence off your body with a 4k-yen akasuri treatment. No handjob, but occasionally I try to get a hard-on under the hand towel while she's washing me off and see if she notices. One of the old ladies was gently glancing my balls once but that's about as far as it went.

10) Once that's done, jump on the JR Loop Line and head toward Tsuruhashi. This is Osaka's official Zainichi (Korean) neighborhood and Kansai's yakiniku mecca. Get even drunker while gorging on meat like a real fucking man. If that's too manly for you, the area you just came from at Spa World is located in Tsutenkaku, which is Osaka's kushi-katsu mecca. In either case, you'll be in a filthy restaurant filled with filthy Osakans screaming their filthy kansai-ben but it will be cheap and "authentic," if that matters to you.

11) Chances are you're either staying in the Umeda or Shinsaibashi/Namba area, and the JR or Midousuji will take you back to either very quickly. If you're in the Namba area, just go back to your hotel and masturbate until you fall asleep. If you're in Umeda, just go back to our hotel and masturbate until you fall asleep. If that doesn't appeal to you, you could just hang out in front of any 7-11 or Family Mart and watch the retarded natives engage in their retarded Osaka behavior, particularly if it's past midnight. Morons pissing and puking and collapsing in the streets, ambulances carting off idiots who obviously have alcohol poisoning, endless hordes of drunk jerkoffs tottering around in the streets and narrowly avoiding being run over by cars and just Osaka retards acting like Osaka retards.

And once you've done that, you have zero reason to ever come back to Osaka and should stick to Tokyo like everyone else who actually knows Japan.
 
A few years back I reviewed a budget DH in Osaka which wasn't that bad. Obviously you don't get JAV style girls at this rate, but if the two girls I tried one was ok and the other one was quite decent.
https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/deli-limit-osaka.9392/

Just saying that budget shops don't necessarily have to be as disappointing experiences as the op's one. Notable difference, I was able to chose my girl. If I recall right the girl even asked upon arrival, if I was ok with her. Even with all the photoshopped pictures ... We choose for you is always a big no-no for me, unless I have an established relation with the shop.
 
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