P4p Providers : Diversity Vs Intimacy ?


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Feb 11, 2014
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I've met several p4p providers at this point, all quite different one from another.

My main purpose was initially to fulfill some fantasies based on a large diversity of physical features (blondes, redhead, brunettes, tall, small, etc.), attitudes (relatively inexperienced, experienced, shy, PSE, etc.), places (hotel, appartement), countries, etc. All this fascinating world of p4p that I'm only starting to explore :)

I enjoy a wide palette of details in each meeting, so I could go on like this...and never meet a girl more than once.

I'm wondering : am I missing something there ?

I know that at the first meeting, there's some natural inhibition with the provider, which slows down things a bit. But at the same time, something quite powerful happens : you're having sex even before having mutually reached/made a first impression on each other.

The next meetings should (I guess) be less inhibited, so potentially filled with more sex action, with some differences/spice the provider tries to add to satisfy her partner. But maybe her existing opinion about my motivations/personality will limit the options more than I'd like, things won't be as good, with less good conversation, sometimes even tainting the first good experience.

Of course there's some girls I'd likely not meet again. And some girls I know there could be plenty delicious meetings with various situations and surprises.
But what to do about the girls for those I'm not sure ? Is there a way to make educated guesses ?

Boys and girls, if you'd like to share, I'm very interested in your opinions on this subject :)
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Back in the day when I saw escorts regularly and in considerable number, I had the general policy (to which there were exceptions for various practical reasons, of course) of having at least one more date with an escort if the first one was even reasonably satisfactory or better. My experience was that the second date was quite often (maybe a third of the time) *dramatically* better and was usually (maybe 80% of the time) at least noticeably better. It was very rarely worse.

There are/were at least two reasons imo. First and obviously, both of you are more relaxed and less wary of various bad possibilities than on a first encounter. Second and probably less obviously, most escorts ADORE having regular and reliable customers...takes a huge amount of the stress and uncertainty out of the job, and when a customer turns up for a second date, an escort is likely to perceive him as a potential regular and thus put out her best effort to make him want to continue to come back.

So, yes DJV, you probably are missing out on some good experiences by being a one-date-only customer, not in every case but in many.

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Thank you Ww for your answer, I needed this kind of perspective, and now I see the world quite differently (seriously !).

I know I ask sometimes if the girl might consider seeing me again, this should be a good sign I want to see her again.

I still have some fear that I could get attached...
But now that I know I manage to survive first times (even if it's hard sometimes), I might try second dates.
This still feels like emotional gambling to me...

You're welcome...no problem. I'd say at least give it a try (multiple dates), and if your experience is different or you don't like it for any reason, you can always stop doing it after all.

every date is different, place ma be different, lady may be ifferent, and even you may be in a different frame of mind. It is difficult to box it up as simply as that. if you do not feel fuly satisfied keep on searching for the right lady when you will find her you will have your answers.

Thanks Serena for this advice, I know I will enjoy seeing multiple times the right escort(s).

I think that playing with different setups, states of mind etc. is mostly a good thing if the partner stays on the same boat.
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I try to see the same one more than once and if the experience is not better I would stop using that provider. I would also have to say, from my experience, that most of the time if the girl remembers you, you will have a significantly better time. Sometimes it does not work out that way, girl may be feeling off or what ever so take that in to consideration also.With that said, I do enjoy a lot of variety so I do try not to keep going back to the same one, maybe if they are that awesome I will go back. You have to mix it up.
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When I have repeated, the second time is very, very nice generally. I have wondered about this too. I love variety, but sometimes it is just a waste of money when you get a provider you don`t click with, or doesn`t off the service you like.
These days I really want FS. A few years ago I did not. A simple rub and tug service was great with a bit of intimacy and a nice massage. But now if FS is not on the offering I don`t repeat and feel disappointed.

So maybe I should repeat more with the ladies I have a fun time with.
Since my original post, I found a nice escort with whom I had lots of fun, so I decided to see her again (let's call her Girl A).

Actually the next meeting included one of her friend, which was real fun : a trio with one girl I know and one I don't. Perfect setup to test all theories at the same time.

Seeing girl A again was very sweet as expected, thanks to you guys for cheering me up.

Surprisingly, I did bond with the other girl at a faster-than-usual speed, certainly because of the pre-existing connections between me and girl A and the 2 girls together.
This was not only physical : I could take part in a delicious conversation where the girls were catching up with the other, talking philosophically about their recent first experience with bondage and ropes. I was totally outpaced by the subject, but they really cared about me not being lost in there, and I could share my candid points of view.

I found out that Girl B is very much into voyeurism, and was delighted to see some nice action while I was staring at her in a mirror placed on the ceiling :) Me already knowing girl A probably added some spice and tacit complicity.

Now I have a new configuration : should I see Girl A alone again ? Or Girl B ? Or both at the same time ?
My guess is B (to focus on her and her only, or maybe I'll dig into this voyeurism thing and bring her to a club), then A to have interesting conversations based on the experiences, then A+B :)
Well, it's always nice to try new ladies if that is your thing, but if you found a girl that is really your type, I say it is best to repeat. Thankfully I found a girl who is totally my type and we really give each other a gfe/bfe since our second time. There are very few girls I have repeated more than 5 times. I say the more you repeat with a girl to your liking, the more you can open up and get to know each other. The girl will share with you her hobbies and all that. One girl I see who doesnt work that often told me she was into studying English after meeting me and she was into Steve Jobs speeches. The following month, I gave her some books to help her and she really appreciated it.

Some girls will tell you their favorite foods or drinks and you just buy them the next time and they appreciate it. I also give roses when I really like the girls and I have only done this for two girls so far. One girl even remembered my birthday one time and gave me a box of sweets from her home town. All of this will give us a better sense of comfort and will add more to the quality of service. Especially if you want GFE or some of my experience I like to call wife experiences.

The more this girl gets to know me, the more she is surprised I don't have an actual girlfriend or wife. She tells me I am a nice guy and that I deserve a real good girlfriend and all that and that if that girl really got to know, she'd be lucky to have me. But this girl is really cute, has great tits, a nice ass, and just very huggable. And she has great skills and a tight pussy. The sex is great to the point we really feel like real lovers.
Since jumping into the extra-martial/P4P scene suddenly about 18 months ago I have had 8 P4P experiences, none repeats, and 4 found-on-line experiences that led to sex and several that did not. Uncountable dead ends. The LAST of the latter was today. Fuck it, I give up on that. As for P4P, beyond the physical release, there must be the 'click' factor to repeat. And what spins your wheels depends on you. There has been one for me where from the outset our sense of humor and playfulness matched and when we hit the sack we realized we both loved an aspect of sex that was unusual and it was full on. P4P became irrelevant - it was mutual enjoyment. I will go back to this girl once I have explored a couple of different edgy options I want to try. But I have no illusions.
As for DVJ's original question, "Am I missing something there ?" by not repeating, only you can answer that. Was there one that transcended obvious P4P - which is a contractual event - that you might be unlikely to get again? Can you also get over the idea that the next guy might be experiencing the same thing? You have banged this girl once or again at some interval. She is banging multiple guys a day. Japanese girls culturally have a great sense of occasion and have great memories generally. We know Japan has the best service system in the world be it buying a bento or buying a body. They can seem very sincere but it is cultural hot-wiring sometimes. Yes, I am being a bit cynical and just because they are in P4P it does not mean they do not feel attraction or enjoyment. I have been with Eri of AM. What a gal! I think she just goes into a 'zone' and it is fantastic. And if I was made of money she would be getting some coming her way regularly. But I am not naive enough to think I would be the only one so enamored. But, I am rambling. If there is a click - and you alone know what it is - then repeat and enjoy. When I finally do repeat I will be interested to see if she remembers me - we have reason to.
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Generally speaking i would say i have been a one and done kinda guy, i can only say that i have met maybe a handful of women i would see again. i will say up front i went into P4P because i lack so much in my normal sex life that i needed just frankly diffenet connections (and vagina) even if for a fleeting moment in time.

For me, the connection i have with them on the first "date" is ever important. maybe only second to how she looks and feels. the ones that you want to see again stick in your memory and your highlight reel. If they dont have the looks i like, if they dont know what they are doing in the first place i wont have a 2nd go etc.

I dont think about the fact that she may have enjoyed penis just an hour before she saw me, thats irelevent, i con honestly say that i only met one women who i could actually tell that anyway. what they do when they are with me is all i can control and focus on anyway.

There is one girl in particular that when given the option i will go for when im on the road, she did indeed remember me, and it made things much better, she is my first and some times only choice as if she isnt available i will just pass on the whole idea, until i get to the next city. not because there arent other fantastic options, but rather once i have decided to spend a couple of hours with her, if it doesnt work out its just not worth going for another option until im in a new city with different options. that said, i have also taken the quantity over quality approach, and i can say i am not a fan at the results, if anything that killed my drive for vagina for a while.

STick to what you like, make a connection knowing that she may like yr money, she may even like your penis, she may even like you, but its a business, and you always have to be able to walk away, because she will.
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It is such personal thing! Some prefer viority and other are very much focused on quality. Whatever makes you happy I say :
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Funny that you mention Eri, R.O.B. - I've seen her once and damned if she isn't a complete gem. I haven't done much P4P but it sounds like she's really a special case.

One thing that I've learned about myself is that, at least in this stage of my life, I really prefer intimacy. I wonder if it has something to do with social stimulation. I don't have a whole lot of deep friendships, so when I do get a chance to be intimate with someone (paid or not), I try and take the opportunity. But maybe someone who's already married or in a situation where they deal with people all day would prefer novelty.
When I Initially started nearly 10 years ago. I just wanted the thrill. In terms of relationships, they were always intense but not stable with all of my experiences since my youth. I figure this was a better alternative as pathetic as that sounds based on practically my entire history of trying to have a relationship and most don't last longer than 3 months. Sadly, the last stable relationship ended because I had to move and so did she and we were in no position to advance. If that didn't happen, I see myself married to her and not posting here. Hell, we would probably have a kid as well. Sadly, that opportunity with such a great person couldn't happen due to "shikata ga nai" circumstances. To me, that phrase just means shit happens lol.

But as I get older, I do value intimacy progressively as well though in a real relationship shit just goes to hell for me. Sadly, I have asked a girl I repeated if I were to introduce her to a girl I wanted as a girlfriend, what would be my best qualities for her to tell her for me. Sadly, I get more stability p4ping and ironically save more money lol. And these girls that take less money from me treat me much better lol. Plus, I have trust issues due to a personal incident 5 years ago.

A huge percentage of Legitimate girlfriends want me dressing like a metrosexual like the young Japanese men of today, or listen to shitty ass music that makes me want to puke, not let me hang out with the friends I have, not letting me play the sports I like to do, etc. I can't stand control freaks like that. I am just a kid from LA. You can take me off of LA but you can't take LA off of me. I just want to be me. Not some woman looking hipster listening to shit like Bieber or One Direction. They think of me as an old man because I like old school hip hop and metal. Hell, they freak that I know and listen to old school Jpop and Jrock. Co-workers do tell me at times I was born too late and I could have been like a major player in the eighties and seventies lol. But I just turned 30 this month.

Even though I pay these service girls but these girls just feel more accepting of me of who I am. Maybe I was a service girl in a previous life lol. They ask me questions about California all the time while most legit girlfriends that aren't from my home town never ask me about it. I met an escort who loves Dr Dre and I grew up on that and I gave her a copy of his Chronic album and it made her happy. I also exposed her to NWA since she is young.

I accept that my life is fucked in every way possible. But I like some stability for once.
Repeat for P4P is often pointless unless:

1) The woman is unusually pretty.

2) She is unusually good at sex or doing wild sex.

Examples- Deep throating, Anal, Squirting Orgasms (clearly orgasmic versus fake act many women try to do)...

3) Your personalities click beyond money.

That is, she is a friend and doesn't care about the money or the time clock with you.

4) The guy is throwing out massive amounts of money, so that the P4P women met are doing unusually good ACTING jobs and are the higher quality women.

The top 3 of these rarely happen with P4P, or EVEN regular women. Most P4P women are cash hungry predators that do the least they can get away in the shortest amount of time possible.

In the case of the 4th, she is faking it as long as the cash flow keeps coming and bailing when the money dries up. And then she is off to the next sucker, if she is not already doing several guys and you at the same time (openly or sneakily).
Well, with the girl I repeat, she just reminds me a bit of my last girlfriend and I openly admit this to her. She is also beautiful to me in her own way. I mean, she is free to fantasize that I'm Johnny Depp for all I care. I am aware what she does is naturally her job, but I like to let her know that in some way, her services mean something to me beyond just the great sex.

I don't really "throw money" at this girl I tend to repeat with recently but I do give her simple gifts from roses to cheap ass jewelry like a necklace. The more time we spend, the more we open up to each other.