Thank you very much for your feedback!
To be honest, Alice was almost spot on. Personally speaking, after what I recently read here I thought it would be wise to try to avoid any pushy crowd (that in particular also includes foreigners with bad manners). I never really had trouble connecting with Japanese people and I do love Karaoke, so Win-Win. To be fair, I only considered Papillon or Voluptuous for our first time.Here
Here is a post of my experiences with a "Shitori" Happening Bars in Tokyo from last year. I forged a great relationship with a couple "Shitori" HapBars, which has become my favorites. I still go to Voluptuous because the wonderful regulars (Japanese and foreign) (Male and females) and a very nice staff. (Sometimes too nice.) as well the fun "Wai-Wai" atmosphere. Yeah, I put up with the dumbf*ck tourists and prickhead no-nihongo expats. Usually I am the one getting into their faces when they act up. (Why I can't chill... sigh...) But at the same time, I met some very cool tourists and expats, who are fun to interact with..... So as Alice says Win Some, Lose Some....
Previous post:
Check out various discussion threads from late last year (2023). Jack and Gina did a lot of informal review of HapBars around Tokyo while Volup was being ready to open. Let me share with you my experiences and advice.
As I started my HapBar journey at Voluptuous (Wai-wai bar). Dress code in the main room is loose, Access to playroom is liberal, and play is allowed in the main room, Hapbar conduct is loosely regulated, and peeking is allowed in the playroom.
Yes, the opportunity to have sex with people, who have the same desire is appealing and to watch the action live is stimulating.
There are fun regulars (Both non-tourists foreigners and locals) that hang out at the Volup.
Wai-Wai HapBars are known for having "Play" happen right away in many cases without any complications.
But as TAG Manager mentioned that Voluptuous only is very liberal in allowing tourists and no-nihongo expats to participate in the HapBar activities. As I got uncomfortable with the presence of these barbarian horde and their unacceptable behavior.
I started to explore other HapBars to expand my knowledge about this unique Japanese place (which I am sure is way different from the sex clubs in Europe and other places.) Ignorant tourists think it's the same, but it's not!! Thanks to Senpai Jack and his vast knowledge of the HapBar scene. He pointed me to some of these new establishments.
I am now drawn to Shitori Happening Bars ("traditional" happening bar). Access to these establishments is highly restrictive. Well defined rules such as dress code and behavior rules in the main room, Access to the playroom is very restrictive and regulated, peeking is not allowed, and code of conduct in the establishment is very strict. These factors creates a safe environment in which the "regulars" can enjoy hanging out with each other. A lot of times, the regulars only go to that HapBar and nowhere else. These regulars are very, very protective of each other and the establishment. it's a daunting environment for a first timer to go to a Shitori HapBar. (It was for me.) After researching various Japanese experts of HapBars online (in Japanese) and their POV regarding Shitori HapBars, what I learned is that to have fun in the Shitori HapBars, an investment of your time and patience is required. Which means to get rid of your mindset that you're going to have a quick f**k. (Big mistake of all males going to these establishment and root of the problems at these places.) After learning this fact, I started to regularly going to couple Shitori HapBars and proactively formed relations with the tenchos and the staff of the HapBar at which in time they introduced me to the male regulars of the HapBar. They got to know me as well as I got to know them. In time they started introducing me to the female regulars and vouch for me to them.
What I begin to realize is that these Shitori HapBars is that for me, it became more of a "Bar" that I hangout with friends (regulars and staff) that also happen to be a place where we can "Play" if we choose so. Yes, Tabanico is right, it's hard work and time consuming. You're not going to play right away and all the time. (Thus why Wai-Wai bars are more preferable to the gaijin community). But what I found out is that it's really unique Japanese way of creating a safe environment where like-minded people can get together and enjoy each other's company. Shitori HapBars are accessible to foreigners only with the following conditions- Japanese residency requirements and very, very high Japanese language ability as well as a vibe read from the Tencho. So tourists and no-nihongo expats are out. Yes, Local customers (both male and female) can be jerks and troublesome. But since the enforcement is strict, the problem childs are nipped at the bud.
No tourists and no-nihongo expats makes the Shitori HapBars far more relaxing for me.
Now there are hybrid HapBars that combines the elements of Waiwai and Shitori.
But every owner and tenchos I have befriended are very leery of allowing tourists and no-nihongo expats into their establishments at all and feel not worth the trouble, they may bring to the regulars at the HapBar.
Thus you would think that since Voluptuous being the only HapBar that allow tourists and no-nihongo expats to partake in the HapBar experience that they would be in their best behavior.
But unfortunately it's not in their nature to do so. (Like the scorpion said to the frog)
