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Periods of total disdain toward sex and women in general

majimekun

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Does it happen to you from time to time?
What triggers this in your opinion?
How do you get back to "normal"?

In my case it often happens after a breakup.
 
Does it happen to you from time to time?

yes, can't say Ive ever had that feeling toward 'women in general' but certainly towards sex, usually after doing something I regret.

What triggers this in your opinion?

3 stick in the memory

1 - Muse in the mid 2000's, this was before I ever did any p4p stuff and was single, I would f**k anything that moved. trouble is Im not that good looking so it was a rare event that I was able to pick up an attractive girl on the night for a 1 night stand (happened sometimes but not often). However I did pretty much always succeed in picking someone up. The particular girl was the roughest looking person Ive ever seen, but I was drunk and horny. Took her back to my apartment and had sex all morning. as the beer goggles wore off half way through session 3 I actually threw up a bit in my mouth and had to run to the toilet. We didn't speak again. I didn't want to have sex again for a while after that.

2 - Mermaid in Yokohama. just no.

3 - anal during a one night stand with a girl I met in GasPanic Roppongi. I won't tell the story, but it ends with a lot of cleaning up needed.

Funny thing is, Im sure there are people on here that would have the same experience and then write about 'goddesses' and such and write lengthy reviews.

How do you get back to "normal"?

wait a week or so.
 
2 - Mermaid in Yokohama. just no.

I believe there has been many straight guys who have gone directly to Ni-chome from there and never looked back.
 
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Dating ladies with
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Bi Polar
- Coming back from US or anywhere where they did strong weed or other drugs daily & start to have withdrawal symptoms after coming back to Japan
& they have not a damn thing to lose by messing up your life.

I can catch red flags with the first two now & would bail but they are the scenarios that made me think P4P is better while taking a break from relationships.
 
I sometimes have very brief periods of total disdain for woman. It usually gets triggered when something goes wrong or pisses me off in a romantic relationship. I'm almost like "okay..i'm done..fed up... woman a fk'd, might as well be gay hah".
However, this doesn't last long.

Usually when I get like this, I tend to reach out to a specific group of people in my life. This group is comprised of woman (usually attractive) that are just friends that I've never slept with. The stars didn't align, the timing wasn't right, our situations didn't allow for it... usually these are the reasons why I never dated/slept with them but I kept them on LINE or Kakaotalk as friends. I mail them gifts on their BDAY to Japan/ korea from Canada. I say hi once in a while. Meet them for lunch when i'm visiting thier their country.
As time passed...and the urge to hook up with them faded I started to see them as people, instead of just boobs and a pretty face. Its weird....originally, I kept in contact with them incase in the future things work out and I have a chance to hook up with them. Now I wouldn't probably go that route even if given the opportunity. I care about them and having them in my life help me see life from a womans perspective. So when I get super pissed..maybe a woman lied to me, or stood me up or something worse....I touch base with my little support group.
Uusally this helps me break out of my little hissy fit spells of disdain
 
I sometimes have very brief periods of total disdain for woman. It usually gets triggered when something goes wrong or pisses me off in a romantic relationship. I'm almost like "okay..i'm done..fed up... woman a fk'd, might as well be gay hah".
However, this doesn't last long.

Usually when I get like this, I tend to reach out to a specific group of people in my life. This group is comprised of woman (usually attractive) that are just friends that I've never slept with. The stars didn't align, the timing wasn't right, our situations didn't allow for it... usually these are the reasons why I never dated/slept with them but I kept them on LINE or Kakaotalk as friends. I mail them gifts on their BDAY to Japan/ korea from Canada. I say hi once in a while. Meet them for lunch when i'm visiting thier their country.
As time passed...and the urge to hook up with them faded I started to see them as people, instead of just boobs and a pretty face. Its weird....originally, I kept in contact with them incase in the future things work out and I have a chance to hook up with them. Now I wouldn't probably go that route even if given the opportunity. I care about them and having them in my life helps me see life from a womans perspective. So when I get super pissed..maybe a woman lied to me, or stood me up or something worse....I touch base with my little support group.
Uusally this helps me break out of my little hissy fit spells of disdain

side note: this morning I received a message from one my friends (as described above)... who I always bounce ideas off of and get her perspective on things. She told me that she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. That just tore me up and has had me aloof all morning..... How sad is that. She's only 29. Docs said she's likely going to be sterile (lack of a better word?) for the rest of her life assuming she survives. I almost dated her ...but things didn't work out as I was transferred to Montreal for 18 months back in 2014 .Once I came back to Toronto (where she was living/studying) she only had 4 weeks left in Canada so we didn't really push the romance even though we both were attracted to each other and met often. She left back to Osaka and we've kept in touch all these years. I havnt seen her in so long and now she has cancer >.<. Her treatment starts in August. Tonight i'm booking plane tickets and hotel rooms for her and myself. Going to meet her in Spain for a week. She's always wanted to go. Thought its the least I can do in light of this horrible news.

Sorry for getting off track, however If anything I hope this post makes you realize that feeling total and utter disdain for woman (or anyone for that matter) is so short-sighted. Everyone has feelings, their own perspective, their own hardships, their own motivations for doing what they do. Even if one's actions are deemed wrong, sometimes people just make mistakes... we all do.

 
Thanks for all the replies.

I believe there is also a biological trigger at play.

For instance, there were periods of my life when 8 women out of 10 would be datable/fuckable in my eyes.
This month it's more around 1 woman out of 100 :(

Also, interestingly, a month ago, after I skipped a night of sleep for some reason, I was extremely tired the next day but at the same time I was having this weird urge of having sex with just any woman. I'm pretty sure I wasn't functional at all down there due to extreme tiredness but my brain kept screaming at me "FUCK HER" upon any random girl's close encounter. This was quite an experience.

So, mildly depressive state, diet, sleeping pattern, stress, etc. also play a big role I believe.

Then there is also the "why bother again" state of mind when you have enough experience to know that a new partner will equal having new problems since most women bring their luggage full of negative past experiences that they can't forget/forgive, craziness sometimes, lack of financial independance, etc...

Breaking up very 1 or 2 years can become tiresome even for someone like me who does not want to marry or have kids EVER.

Anyway, after a few months you get tired of being alone and then you start to think that you don't care about the problems a new partner will bring in your life.

The weird cicle of sex/life I guess.
 
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Also, interestingly, a month ago, after I skipped a night of sleep for some reason, I was extremely tired the next day but at the same time I was having this weird urge of having sex with just any woman. I'm pretty sure I wasn't functional at all down there due to extreme tiredness but my brain kept screaming at me "FUCK HER" upon any random girl's close encounter. This was quite an experience.

interesting. I am horny AF all day if I don't have enough sleep the night before.
 
I am horny AF all day if I don't have enough sleep the night before.

How does that then differ from the normal day? :p

But yes, tiredness adds to hornyness. Except when the lack of sleep the night before was caused by excessive sexual practices.
 
I don't quite get the "disdain for women" sentiment but I do have periods when I feel ambivalent about sex - while at the same time craving it. Due to job and home responsibilities I just don't have the time for the kinds of activities which lead to sex, P4P or other.

But I have had long periods (a year or more) of celibacy because I have broken up with somebody and just didn't want anybody else. After about 9 or 10 months without sex I could feel how weird I was becoming. But it was something that P4P couldn't help me with. I knew that more than the physical release I needed somebody to desire me, to want me.

One otherwise small detail that will stay with me to the grave - nearly on par with the birth of my first child - was a point in time with a new lover after 14 months of celibacy when we got to the hotel room and she is nearly frantic trying to get my trousers off me.
 
If I'm engaged in something that really interests me and that takes many weeks/months to complete, then sex becomes secondary. As a result, I'm less likely to put up with all the hassle of dating/making conversation with someone I'm not interested in just because there's the possibility of sex, and that breeds, if not disdain for those people, at least indifference.

I also have the experience of living one year in a place where the possibility of sex was almost nil due to isolation. Although frustration was initially high, after a few weeks the idea of sex was almost completely gone from my mind. That's a state of mind that has been impossible for me to reach while living in a large city (or even a smaller one for that matter).
 
Does it happen to you from time to time?

Not toward women, but toward sex, yes.

What triggers this in your opinion?

Marriage.;)

How do you get back to "normal"?

Normal?!??! For me there is no getting back to "normal" after marriage.:LOL:
I just have to get used to the new "normal", ex. Last week I was all set to go watch Deadpool 2 but wound up seeing "The Book Club" with the wife instead.:bored: