- Joined
- May 8, 2016
- Messages
- 19,219
- Reaction score
- 48,709
Just a while ago we had this conversation and here we go again. My human rights were just repeatedly and horrendously violated by the aggressive organisation that wants to dictate how normal law abiding citizens are supposed to conduct their daily lives.
I was held against my will, interrogated endlessly without access to a lawyer or even food or drink. My property was searched, poked, hold upside down and reported by radio with my name included. What's worse just three minutes from the first instance I was stopped again with the intention to start it all over again!
I am planning to file formal complaints to Human Rights Now, United Nations Security Council, Save the Children International, PETA, Animal Rights Center, Greenpeace and of course Debito.
Well, if you want details, and I know you don't, but here we go anyway. I was peacefully and soberly (I know, my bad) cycling home after a long day of serving the Emperor, adding to the economy and saving orphaned children, or at least visiting a friend. I was paying a lot of attention to the traffic and all the laws, and I can prove it by telling I was really vigilant as I had just ran four red lights in succession and therefore carefully looking out for any cops.
And certainly in the next intersection I could see two fine young policemen crossing the street and positioning themselves the opposite site of the road. Digging their fox holes, positioning their machine gun or doing whatever they do when they build their base for making sure nobody is driving a bicycle that's not his property.
So here I was, stopping at the red lights like a decent person and watching over the other side of the road, which was a tiny road, like five meters away when they stopped and started to stare at me. At this point I gave myself 50-50 chances of just pedalling pass them but they were young, full of energy and just started their shift so when the light changed and I started moving the hand goes up and the guy goes "we are from the police and checking bicycle registrations".
He started immediately with Japanese, not asking me if I speak it or trying to speak English or anything. I already started to like the guy. I stop and tell him they can search all they want but I can already tell they cannot find the registration number as there is none. I tell him that is because "I am in the process of doing it", which is true as the process started a decade ago and has now advanced to the phase "I will think about it".
He doesn't get baffled but just makes his partner look for any numbers they could find while keeping me company. I show him my knowledge of all things important and say it's hard to register a bicycle that is not bought in Japan and he agrees the shops are reluctant to register anything not bought from them. Thanks internet, I wouldn't have known this without you.
The second guy turns my bicycle every which way and comments that it's a really big one. For a moment I have the urge to say "European bicycle big bicycle, Japanese bicycle small bicycle" while pointing at their crotches but I do resist the temptation.
The other guy finds some number and goes on his walkie-talkie reporting the number to the Higher Authority. The first guy asks my name very politely and I tell him it's Mike. That's all, no surname or nothing. I think about asking his Line now when we have became good friends but again I resist. The second guy reports by radio that the bicycle with that number now belongs to this Mike guy.
They give me my bicycle back and thank me and wish me a good night. I merrily bicycle away and around five hundred meters away there is an intersection with a police box next to it. Just when I am approaching it a young police officer steps out, puts up his hand up and goes "we are from the police and checking bicycle registrations". I start to laugh and tell him I was just stopped few blocks away. He says sorry and asks where. I tell him and he says sorry again and wishes me a good night.
And this boys and girls is the full story of how I escaped the oppressing forces and went on to live a full and meaningful life.
I was held against my will, interrogated endlessly without access to a lawyer or even food or drink. My property was searched, poked, hold upside down and reported by radio with my name included. What's worse just three minutes from the first instance I was stopped again with the intention to start it all over again!
I am planning to file formal complaints to Human Rights Now, United Nations Security Council, Save the Children International, PETA, Animal Rights Center, Greenpeace and of course Debito.
Well, if you want details, and I know you don't, but here we go anyway. I was peacefully and soberly (I know, my bad) cycling home after a long day of serving the Emperor, adding to the economy and saving orphaned children, or at least visiting a friend. I was paying a lot of attention to the traffic and all the laws, and I can prove it by telling I was really vigilant as I had just ran four red lights in succession and therefore carefully looking out for any cops.
And certainly in the next intersection I could see two fine young policemen crossing the street and positioning themselves the opposite site of the road. Digging their fox holes, positioning their machine gun or doing whatever they do when they build their base for making sure nobody is driving a bicycle that's not his property.
So here I was, stopping at the red lights like a decent person and watching over the other side of the road, which was a tiny road, like five meters away when they stopped and started to stare at me. At this point I gave myself 50-50 chances of just pedalling pass them but they were young, full of energy and just started their shift so when the light changed and I started moving the hand goes up and the guy goes "we are from the police and checking bicycle registrations".
He started immediately with Japanese, not asking me if I speak it or trying to speak English or anything. I already started to like the guy. I stop and tell him they can search all they want but I can already tell they cannot find the registration number as there is none. I tell him that is because "I am in the process of doing it", which is true as the process started a decade ago and has now advanced to the phase "I will think about it".
He doesn't get baffled but just makes his partner look for any numbers they could find while keeping me company. I show him my knowledge of all things important and say it's hard to register a bicycle that is not bought in Japan and he agrees the shops are reluctant to register anything not bought from them. Thanks internet, I wouldn't have known this without you.
The second guy turns my bicycle every which way and comments that it's a really big one. For a moment I have the urge to say "European bicycle big bicycle, Japanese bicycle small bicycle" while pointing at their crotches but I do resist the temptation.
The other guy finds some number and goes on his walkie-talkie reporting the number to the Higher Authority. The first guy asks my name very politely and I tell him it's Mike. That's all, no surname or nothing. I think about asking his Line now when we have became good friends but again I resist. The second guy reports by radio that the bicycle with that number now belongs to this Mike guy.
They give me my bicycle back and thank me and wish me a good night. I merrily bicycle away and around five hundred meters away there is an intersection with a police box next to it. Just when I am approaching it a young police officer steps out, puts up his hand up and goes "we are from the police and checking bicycle registrations". I start to laugh and tell him I was just stopped few blocks away. He says sorry and asks where. I tell him and he says sorry again and wishes me a good night.
And this boys and girls is the full story of how I escaped the oppressing forces and went on to live a full and meaningful life.
