Title of Your Review:
Potential Landmine Yuika at Yoshiwara EXE
Soapland Name:
EXE
Soapland Provider Name:
Yuika https://fujoho.jp/index.php?p=girl&id=4651538
Soapland Website:
https://y-exe.jp/schedule.html
Appointment Length & Costs:
110 min - 75k (incl. 10k non-Japanese tax)
Booking Method:
Direct Contact (LINE, Twitter, etc.)
Date of Encounter:
July 2024
Location:
Incall Soapland Provided Room
Language Notes:
Japanese Only
Narrative of the Encounter:
I'm going to try to keep this short and to the point. There are other reviews for EXE where you can get a good idea of all the intricacies in their service. Quick warning though, as of July 2024 you will probably not be able to meet any of the other providers from EXE previously reviewed on this site as they're either gone or turned Foreigner NG.
I had been looking into EXE after falling victim to the Yumejiland allure and ended up impulsively booking a next-day session with Yuika on pretty short notice when I found myself with a sudden day off in the middle of the week. She advertises on her Twitter and mentions you can reach out for bookings via DM at any moment (I assume this includes same-day bookings but I didn't ask). Some points to highlight:
- To her credit, she responded very quickly and kindly.
- She was fine with seeing a foreigner but said the shop would not provide a pick up service to us.
- She asked that I arrive 1hr early to the store or risk losing my appointment.
I'll also add that I never had to speak to the store staff directly, but then again all my communication with Yuika was in Japanese.
On the day, I arrived a full 75min earlier (public transport timings just lined up that way) expecting some sort of test or filter to explain the 1hr buffer. I half expected to be put in a room by myself to submit a JLPT response or something. Nothing happened though, the staff led me to the waiting room, took my money and left me alone until about 5min before my actual appointment time to ask that I go to the entrance where my car is waiting. When I asked they explained that EXE is very popular and has so many girls that they sometimes need to borrow rooms from another shop.
Even after getting to the other shop I was made to wait for another 15 minutes (so basically a full 90min wait before my session actually started) until my name finally got called and I met Yuika at the bottom of the stairs. If you've read other reviews from EXE, they apparently have the girls pick you up from the waiting room, but not the case here, probably because it was the "borrowed" shop. Disappointing. Yuika is fairly close to her pictures, has a really tiny nose and seems quite young.
We made our way to the room and start with what I figured was your usual small talk until I realized she was pushing really hard on some personal questions. When I said I didn't want to give any more specifics she pushed a little arguing she wouldn't even remember by next morning, but later dropped it when I asked to change the subject. This took another 10min out of my time with her. Finally she started to take off my clothes and asked me to do the same for her, but she kept facing away from me (her main charm are her natural I-cup breasts, which I didn't get to see from up close until we hit the bathtub). At this point she began to masterfully stall as much as possible... I mean taking unusually long with the shower, making me wait in the tub by myself while she "finished cleansing herself", brushing her teeth for what felt like another 10min, making us do the mouthwash twice, etc. The handy clock on her bedside table let me know I had lost 40min of my session by the time we hit the bed.
I had told her during the seemingly unending preamble that I wanted to "see her S side" so she got on top of me to start blowing me. This was the most half-assed attempt at a BJ I've ever had (coming from the guy who had a girl fall asleep with his c**k in her mouth on his first soapland attempt) and even when she was doing it, it really just wasn't good. She must've had my best friend in her mouth for a full 80s throughout the entire session. When I asked if she was okay with kissing she said "Sure, we can kiss when we switch and you're attacking me". How generous. At this point it was obvious that this was a dud, so I just figured I'd put it in and think about better days to get myself past the line. Quick run through some other lows in the session because I already wrote more than I wanted to:
- We kissed literally TWICE in the entire session. I didn't try for more because she was clearly not into it.
- She capped me while I was on top of her at half mast and asked me to be gentle. I can respect that obviously, but the mood was so dead by then that the sergeant had basically gone soft, so I started using the heaps of lube she applied to rub him on her and try to get some traction. "Aren't you gonna put it in?" "In a bit" "Why?" "(
- She did not move at all and kept the same facial expression throughout the 20min it took me to finally get off. She also kept asking if I had finished yet. "Not yet" "Then why are you slowing down?" "I like to change pace sometimes" "You have to tell me when you finish" ......... Yikes.
The second half of the session (probably around 40min) was mainly her talking at me while I pretended to listen. I did ask if we could do a second round trying to get some more value out of the session, to which she responded "Oh you're probably still recovering, maybe if you had booked 1.5 or 2 slots instead of just one" ??? Whatever, I just tried to lie down and drink some water in the cool room before going back out into the heat while she kept talking at me.
Finally the phone rang to alert we had 10min left so we moved to the shower where she rinsed me off. We got dressed and she gave me a half-assed hug and said the usual "Come again ok?" to which I happily responded no thanks, I will make sure my to go back to my one and only girl in much-closer Kawasaki for half the price next time instead. Well, not with those exact words, but y'know...
Review Independence: Was this review requested by the Soapland?:
No, this review was written without a request from the Soapland or their provider.
Final Thoughts:
Not Recommended.
Closing Comments:
Look, I know YMMV and maybe she just wasn't feeling any chemistry between us, but I've met plenty of providers and this is by far the worst experience and attitude I've encountered. I can understand if you're not particularly attracted to me, I'm not a stunner, but I'm young, fit and clean and I REFUSE to believe I'm worse than some of the Japanese customers you sort out anyway.
Taking into account facilities, staff, girl and overall experience, there was just nothing to justify dropping 7 and a half 万 on this particular outing. The extra hour of waiting time which I'm sure Japanese patrons don't have to put up with is also inexcusable in my opinion. It'll take a lot for me to go back to EXE.
