Preparing for meeting a lady (newbie questions)

Discussion in 'Questions, Answers & Warnings' started by Hellodesu, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. Hellodesu

    Hellodesu TAG Member

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    So I am about to begin my initiation into my new hobby - and while I have most of the appointment figured out, I am a gentleman and want to make it fun and comfortable.To that end - I have a few questions:
    -is it creepy to bring a small omyage?
    - While alcohol isn't to be offered, should I bring some or will there be vending machines at most LH's?
    Thanks
     
  2. Tengu

    Tengu TAG Member

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    I think it would be fine to bring a small omiage, but not so necessary.

    There will be alcohol at the LH. Sometimes faily cheap, other times expensive. All depends on the hotel.
    I always bring my own when I go.

    Sounds fun. iinaa
     
  3. meiji

    Global Moderator

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    I personally wouldn't bring omiyage or alcohol, especially when meeting a girl for the first time. It's about discretion and trust. Some of it depends on where you are meeting her- if it's in a public place, I would say no to both. Remember that whatever you bring, she'll have to carry back with her, and providers generally don't want to draw attention to what they do. As for alcohol, it's unlikely that she's going to drink while on the job (although you never know), and it's one thing to open a bottle of wine in your hotel room and have a glass of wine together, but carrying a bottle around, or a mini-bottle of wine or sake, is more hassle than its worth. If you want to get your drink on, buy some at the conbini on the way there.

    If you want to be a good guy, bring her an unopened bottle of water (you can buy this when you get your alcohol or what have you, and then you can give her a choice), and pay her for her time without her having to ask -- I usually just put the money down on a table where she can see it, and I expect neither she nor I will mention it. Other than that, just show up clean, smile, be gentle, and those are really the main things that providers care about.

    Enjoy!
     
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  4. Hellodesu

    Hellodesu TAG Member

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    Wow. This is really helpful. I think I follow the fundamentals and keep it simple and safe so she feels comfortable. Appreciate the help very much.
     
  5. Tengu

    Tengu TAG Member

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    Nice post.
    I didn't realize about the gift being an attention drawer.
     
  6. TAG Manager

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    Some girls prefer modesty, others are fairly bold.

    For instance, a good test is to overpay a girl and see if she notices. Some will try and offer you some change in return, some won't.

    That said, I don't recommend gifts or tips unless it's a usual thing for you. The ladies may come to expect tips or gifts, which isn't really a problem unless they start changing the level of service of they give based on tips or gifts received.

    There was a big discussion about this awhile back, I think people were really divided on it. I couldn't say it was 50/50, but it certainly was a lively debate!
     
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  7. meiji

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    I think more than anything, the danger comes more from making the girl a little uncomfortable, than 'drawing attention' from the police or whoever.

    There's a big distinction and there's different considerations involved between meeting an AM girl in a very public place and going to a love hotel vs my typical experience with Asian girls in the US, which was going to a rented apartment to visit one. In the US, they explicitly did NOT want gifts. It's unusual enough to have multiple guys show up to the same doorstep all day, every day, neighbors don't need to see guys there with flowers or chocolates.

    In Japan, working girls know what the deal is involving meeting a foreign guy in a public place and then be seen walking around area of town known for love hotels. To be frank, Japanese people know what goes on in those areas of town, and they probably see enough interracial couples to know that there's plenty of Japanese women having sex with foreigners. There seems to be a silent agreement that public displays of affection will be kept to a minimum, and in exchange everyone else keeps their judgements to themselves. However, if you meet them in a public place and give them a gift in that public place, it's going to be even more obvious that you are meeting for the first time, and might be a little unnerving for the provider. The other factor of course is if the girl doesn't speak good English and you don't speak their language, they can't really decline properly or explain their uncomfortableness, and it might put a damper on the session.

    As far as giving gifts in general: I've made friends with a number of providers, and being a sweet, thoughtful guy in general is not only the right thing to do, it pays off over time. I think if you find a girl that you have a good time with and see her regularly or at least enough that she remembers you, giving her a thoughtful, small, inexpensive gift occasionally is fine. Treating providers like a person instead of a utility will always get you remembered, just don't cross the line from a friendly gift that you'd give to any other appreciated service provider into trying to win her affection -- that can go down a number of very dark paths, very few of which end up any good.
     
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  8. JustSomeGuy

    JustSomeGuy TAG Member

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    There is some very good advice in here. Anyone meeting a girl for the first time would do well to read this. Thank you to everyone who has contributed.

    The tip of bringing an unopened bottle of water is a very good one, something that I read somewhere else on this forum. It's surprising how well received such a simple gesture can be. With one girl in particular, she was meeting me mid-afternoon on a very hot day. She'd just come from her day job and was very hot. She was very grateful for the offer of a chilled bottle of water. I could tell that she wasn't just taking it to be polite because she drunk almost half in one go.

    I will be returning to Japan soon and I'm considering booking a dinner course for the experience of dining out with a beautiful Japanese girl. I'm not trying to hijack the thread, but I was wondering if there is any advice anyone here can give me as to what to do and what not to do. In particular, I know that some girls like to have the money paid up front. What would be the acceptable way of dealing with this if the first 2 hours of the meeting would be taking place in a restaurant? Obviously I don't want to be doing anything that could get the girl into trouble.

    Thanks
     

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