Fuck I miss that part of my life.
I don't know about that. Along with all the drinking and humping came some really, really fucked up things best never repeated. Ever.
My sophomore year I met a girl from the same hometown and we began having a casual FWB situation. Nice, big boobs (for an ethnically Japanese girl) and freakishly kinky once the alcohol kicked in. Too much so, I would unfortunately learn. One night during a party at my house, we slipped off to my room to have some intoxicated sex. Afterwards, we were lying naked in the bed, drunk and high, me on my stomach falling asleep. She's sitting next to me, touching me, pinching my ass, rubbing my balls, and she suddenly slurs out, "WANNA DO SOMETHING HILARIOUS??" I hear her rummaging around in her purse and reply, "Yeah, whatever."
She then proceeded to insert a tampon in my ass.
By the time I realized what was happening, she'd already finished inserting it and pulled the applicator tube out. Through a drunken haze it slowly dawned on me exactly what had happened. And though I was ready to pass out, a sudden realization struck immediate terror in me: If I pass out here naked with a fucking tampon string hanging out of my asshole, and my roommates find me like this tomorrow morning, there will be pictures of this on every refrigerator of every party house in the neighborhood.
I start hollering, "WHAT THE FUCK, YOU STUPID BITCH!! TAKE IT OUT!!" She's laughing hysterically and does nothing. I panic, find the string and pull with everything I have.
Ok, it didn't feel too bad going in...pleasant, even. But let me tell you, coming out was an ENTIRELY different fucking story. I don't even want to remember the pain.
Over two decades later we still run into each other. She's married with two kids, older daughter is about to graduate high school and go off to college, and she's a dead ringer for her mom. I sincerely hope the looks are the only thing she inherited, or some poor boy will have a sore butthole someday soon.
Some things should never be repeated, and 1999 is one of them.