Racial Preference In Dating & Sexual Partners

[ShowaJidai]

"Men have a high tendency to like what they can have".

Would you quote that if you were in San Francisco?

 

[just4fun]

Skinny "scarecrow" type of guy were the most handsome guy for all my female friends.

Where are they? Show me these girls please

 

[User#8628]

I guess that was my main disappointment when dating Japanese girls. I used to be very sporty and outdoor type of guy, muscular and fit. Japanese women (most of the times) looked at me scared or even surprised. Although I am Asian (Japanese parents) I think I have a "westernized type of physique" tanned skin and trimmed facial hair. Some of Japanese people asked me if I was an Amateur Wrestler or Boxer. Japanese women do not like muscular or manly type of men. I realized that more feminine or androgynous type of men are the ones that Japanese women like.

Maybe if you could pull off an ora ora look?
Some popular boyband guys (exile, j soul brothers) tend to be tanned and with a bit tougher look, though still much more groomed than in the west.

 

[Saitama]

Dear @SatoKM, (I don’t know how to tag you, man)

I assure you that in time you will find someone who appreciates a “manly” dude, toned or otherwise. It really does seem like more muscular guys tend to attract the attention of other dudes in the gym more than like, women we meet, but I assure you that as you matured/“get older” you may occupy a zone where “solidly built” and “gentle and stable” come together and the odds start to change.

When I was younger, I almost left Japan after the first year because the dating was so atrocious compared to what I was used to, but over time it’s not so bad.

That being said, in terms of representation I actually took a photo of this poster because it was the first time I’d seen a guy who looked even remotely like me (and of course, it’s a sumo wrestler, so I bet he’s still seen as “fat” by some circles), and then as I type that I have to lol because I’m proving my own point about toned dudes getting more attention from other dudes.

 

[SatoKM]

Dear @SatoKM, (I don’t know how to tag you, man)

I assure you that in time you will find someone who appreciates a “manly” dude, toned or otherwise. It really does seem like more muscular guys tend to attract the attention of other dudes in the gym more than like, women we meet, but I assure you that as you matured/“get older” you may occupy a zone where “solidly built” and “gentle and stable” come together and the odds start to change.

When I was younger, I almost left Japan after the first year because the dating was so atrocious compared to what I was used to, but over time it’s not so bad.

That being said, in terms of representation I actually took a photo of this poster because it was the first time I’d seen a guy who looked even remotely like me (and of course, it’s a sumo wrestler, so I bet he’s still seen as “fat” by some circles), and then as I type that I have to lol because I’m proving my own point about toned dudes getting more attention from other dudes.

Thank you for your kind words!

Actually I am a near 40 years old man now. I do not confront any type of insecurity and frustration anymore. I was sharing my experiences during my 20's years old time. I am very satisfied on how I have been learning from previous relationships.

 

[User#8628]

Maybe if you could pull off an ora ora look?
Some popular boyband guys (exile, j soul brothers) tend to be tanned and with a bit tougher look, though still much more groomed than in the west.

This look is something i can personally stand behind (and i love a good tan on a guy). He is a bit scary to some Japanese people but i think he’s considered handsome overall.

 

[SugoiBoy]

My general preference could be described as being Afro-Asian. Although I'm White myself, I'm usually attracted to Asian women and Black women.

Be that as it may, I've spent much of my adult life in Asia. As a result, I've mostly dated Asian women.

 

[Jenkins55]

East is more society based and west is more individualistic. “Skinny” type dudes can only be popular where social order is high enough that females won’t have to depend on their male’s masculinity. As soon as social order breaks down, like a war happening, “manly man” types will be a big hit.

 

[Spicybbw]

I prefer asian men or mixed. As a Latin woman I have broad hips....and a bbw I'm very thick and curvy...I can actually break one of these skinny guys. I'm also usually as tall as them. Lol their intimidation is so funny to me.

 

[SandyMartins]

I have dated a Japanese girl so my fav is Japanese girls. They have good manners, very well dresses, and great in bed.

 

[User#8628]

I prefer asian men or mixed. As a Latin woman I have broad hips....and a bbw I'm very thick and curvy...I can actually break one of these skinny guys. I'm also usually as tall as them. Lol their intimidation is so funny to me.

I also kind of like it when a guy is not much taller than me and i feel like i would stand a chance against him physically (although I should really work out if I actually want to be able to do that).
The feeling that a guy can protect you is overrated imo, i want to have the feeling i can protect myself against a guy.

 

[Jenkins55]

I also kind of like it when a guy is not much taller than me and i feel like i would stand a chance against him physically (although I should really work out if I actually want to be able to do that).
The feeling that a guy can protect you is overrated imo, i want to have the feeling i can protect myself against a guy.

Seems more like a trust issue than preference tbh. I’m 190cm, and I’m harmless.

 

[DanniCake]

I don't know if I really have a racial preference when dating, there are features that I like but even if someone has a combination of a lot of those features there's just something in a person where I'm either like "Oooh" or not.
I like tall guys, I tend to like skinny guys, I like guys with long hair (but a lot of guys with long hair don't know how to care for their hair so far too often it just looks bad or unkempt)
I like guys who have like a regal looking nose on them. I know that's a weird thing to like but I just do, so that typical "jewish" nose combined with a nice smile.

I've said this in another thread but I have a thing for either the tall, skinny, sort of dopey-nerd type (Think Seth Green, Matthew Grey Gubler) but I really like dating black guys sometimes, some of them have a lot of internalized toxic masculinity issues, but sometimes that can turn into them wanting to really treat a lady, taking me out to nice places, buying me gifts, really attentive in the bedroom, and they really appreciate a nice big ass. (And a lot of times they also have the cutest bubble butts that you just wanna smack.)

I have not had much luck dating Japanese dudes, visually I like asian guys, and I can't stereotype any of them into one box or another, but the ones I've been with have been somewhat selfish lovers, and tend to want me to lead, but only when it's convenient for them. Unfortunately all the ones I've been with were also smokers, and that's not the worst, but I kind of hate it. (It unfortunately makes your mouth always taste a little bit like an ashtray)

 

[Simonka]

I’ve never been attracted to darker skin tones, and I prefer light to medium skin so this preference cancels out black and some other dark skinned ethnicities for me. If I’m going to settle with someone, his looks are important to me.
I’m pretty lucky that the type of guy I like is almost always attracted to me.

I don’t know if this is racist? I don’t want to jump to the conclusion that having a type is not racist at all. I have grown up in a nationally proud family so I might have some level of subconscious racism, even after all the traveling we’ve done together.

But I am pretty upfront about what kind of physical appearances I don’t like and feel confident enough to talk about it on a public forum. Human mind is very complicated indeed

 

[DanniCake]

Oh and then to the original post of "Is it racist"
kkkiinnnddda but it's complicated?

As long as racism exists in the world everyone is going to be racist one way or another, it's good to be aware of when you might be allowing those sociological racial conditions to determine your behaviour but sometimes you can't really be aware of them, and even if you are, especially when it comes to the complicated mess that is sexuality, personal physical preferences, and relationships in general, you can't really be expected to give someone "a chance" when they just don't tickle your fancy, even if the reason why they don't tickle it is just because of some unconscious racist attitudes rearing it's ugly head.

A person's personal preferences are such layered conditions of nature and nurture that there's really no way to forcibly change them once they've been set, so if unfortunately you don't like, or have preference for one race or another even if you realize that might be a little racist, there's not much you can do about it unless you're the type of person who puts more weight on personality and connection to an individual over physical attributes. (But even then simple due to cultural issues that might also curb you towards or away from one group or another simply due to people being a product of the culture they're born in and race often plays a role in that.)

So I mean like what you like, but don't completely write a whole swath of everyone off as potential partners if you're looking for something like a deep lifelong connection just because their physical attributes are something you don't normally go for. (But I mean also don't just "settle" for someone you're not into either, because that's just not fair to anyone involved)

 

[Sudsy]

I've given this a lot of thought as this thread has progressed, and I've come to realise that I actually do have a strong racial bias when it comes to dating.

Human.

I like 'em human.

 

[Jenkins55]

Not having preferences towards darker skin tone is not the same as believing that all dark skinned people have some characteristics that you dislike. So you’re in the clear.

 

[Simonka]

Not having preferences towards darker skin tone is not the same as believing that all dark skinned people have some characteristics that you dislike. So you’re in the clear.

Fingers crossed. We are on the internet, you never know what happens here

 

[User#8628]

Seems more like a trust issue than preference tbh. I’m 190cm, and I’m harmless.

So do guys who like spinners also have trust issues?
Maybe i wanna spin my boys around as well.

 

[Simonka]

I also kind of like it when a guy is not much taller than me and i feel like i would stand a chance against him physically (although I should really work out if I actually want to be able to do that).
The feeling that a guy can protect you is overrated imo, i want to have the feeling i can protect myself against a guy.

Actually I love big tall chubby guys because during these cold days they can protect me against the cold I love the feeling of the heat radiating from a soft tummy & love handles look so cute from behind ❤️

 

[MikeH]

I like 'em human.

You just haven't met the right goat yet.

 

[Spicybbw]

Actually I love big tall chubby guys because during these cold days they can protect me against the cold I love the feeling of the heat radiating from a soft tummy & love handles look so cute from behind ❤️

Oh I got the perfect guy for you. And he's a sweet. As a big girl I don't normally go for large boys so me and him are just good friends. Would you be interested?

 

[User#39221]

I love any size and type but never been with a JW yet. I love Latinas,being that I’m from P.R... I am into any ethnicity of white skin due to I’m a mocha color so I love how it looks,lol, when we are together lol. (Just my thing) But when it comes to a Latona I don’t get picky any color or type I will go for especially bbw girls...

 

[steve969696]

I have only one must have. Must have brown eyes. Period. Strange but other eye colors turn me off.

Next most important thing is not pasty white. That Anglo/Nordic thing turns me off, even though I have an English ancestry.

Natural breasts please. Any size besides non existent. And no augmentation please — usually ruins a perfectly fine set. They may look good but very rarely feel right.

Soft nose and medium full lips. So again the angular thin lipped Nordic thing is out.

This all tends to result in Latinas, various types of Asians, and Black mixes of any sort. And strangely many Romanians fit this bill also.

Prettiest girls I’ve had this year were Brazilian, Phillipina (pure and Japanese mixed), Japanese, Romanian, and a Kiwi with some Spanish blood in her background.