Recognizing Japanese Who Are Passive-aggressive Or Racist

[Solong]

This is from years of being in Japan and can help foreigners decipher odd Japanese behavior. In many cases, the foreigner will realize there is something going on, but not be sure what it is.

Here is a list of common verbal and physical passive-aggressive or racist behaviors in Japan. Use it only as a guide, and look for other indicators (if possible), before making a final decision about the person.

1) Odd Coughing

This is a weird cough, that foreigners may notice is odd, because of how fake it sounds or the person doesn't seem actually sick.

It is done when a foreigner is present, and once understood, is very passive-aggressive. It's like, "You make me sick." It can also be like an alert. "A foreigner is present."

2) Loudly saying "Atsui, Atsui!" (it's hot) oddly or excessively.

Now, it could actually be they are very hot or sweaty or the location, so keep this mind and gauge how true this is. To include smell your arm pits or see if people are sweating around you. However, something might be up if they look at you or side-glance at you, and it's NOT really hot or sweaty.

The word can be used as a substitute for "you stink". Be also aware if they keep saying it excessively when it's NOT hot (like in an Air Conditioned room), exaggerate too much, or make a big show out of it.

This can be directed at foreigners, and NOT based on or just smell, but as a kind of protest of you even being in their area or near them. "I don't like foreigners around me."

3) Fanning Themselves Excessively, Particularly Towards You

The same as above, and they can be doing both at the same time, or towards you. If they are directly their "sensu" (Japanese folded fan) at you and fanning, it can possibly be an insult. As in "Get away from me." or "You stink."

Be mindful of your actual hygiene, smell, or if they are actually sweating. Look for if the behavior is out of place or odd.

4) Sucking their teeth in your presence.

Usually it will be a male that does this (but wannabe gangster women can occasionally use it), and it's often very passive-aggressive or at times overtly aggressive. It can mean "You are nothing!" In this meaning, they are often walking away from you after say bumping into you aggressively, or turn their back on you. It can also be confrontational, and mean any other move by you, punches are next. This is when they are looking straight at you.

5) Turning their back on you

This is often done more by Japanese women to foreigners, versus men doing it. It's an old Japanese insult, that appears to be taught and used by young women, to ostracize people from the group or express you are unwanted. It's like giving you the middle finger and saying "Fuck off!" in Western cultures.

6) Acting way too surprised for no reason

"Bikkuri Shita!" and OVER acting as if they will have a heart attack.

This is usually done by Japanese women, and can be a kind of show to other Japanese around, that they have NEVER been with or near foreigners. Like you, the foreigner are an alien from another planet, or Japan is part of planet Earth, and you scare the living shit out of them.

A foreigner can recognize this behavior as weird, because the circumstances will not call for such an exaggerated overreaction to saying "Hello", asking directions, or even you work in the same office or go to the same school.

7) Cutting you off on line or walking straight into you

This can possibly be passive-aggressive behavior, like saying you don't exist. You will know it's odd and not so accidental, when it's obvious they should know better. Like you are standing in a convenience store line or in front of the cashier, and they blatantly try to cut in front of you or are weirdly too close behind you.

It's different from accidental, because the other person wasn't watching where they were going, playing on their phone, etc... This behavior is more intentional, where they see you or are looking right at you, but proceed to obstruct or cut you off anyway.

It's a form of disrespect, like "You shouldn't be here!" or "Get the fuck out my way!"

 

[R.O.B]

This caused my eyeballs to dry up. Is that No. 8?

 

[John Chavers]

...physical passive-aggressive or racist behaviors in Japan...

Unless I need them to do something for me, why bother with people like this? Are you so thin skinned that you need everyone to love you?

I've had my share of run-ins with racists in Japan, but I don't bellyache about it on unrelated public forums about mongering.

 

[Wwanderer]

My recommended response to any such seriously racist behaviors is laughter in proportion to the behavior. In other words, the more blatantly they insult you, the more blatantly you should laugh at them. The laughter conveys an appropriate level of significance you attach to their opinion of you and, as a bonus, puts you in a better frame of mind to deal with it and move on.

An occasionally amusing and effective alternative, if you speak Japanese well enough, is to bow deeply and apologize (as sincerely as you can manage) for having been born non-Japanese; then explain that being gaijin is simply an unfortunate fate with which you will have to deal throughout your life. I have seen this done with devastating effect, btw. Rarely worth the bother though.

-Ww

 

[John Chavers]

Rarely worth the bother though

Life is too short for people like that.

 

[Solong]

My recommended response to any such seriously racist behaviors is laughter in proportion to the behavior. In other words, the more blatantly they insult you, the more blatantly you should laugh at them. The laughter conveys an appropriate level of significance you attach to their opinion of you and, as a bonus, puts you in a better frame of mind to deal with it and move on.

An occasionally amusing and effective alternative, if you speak Japanese well enough, is to bow deeply and apologize (as sincerely as you can manage) for having been born non-Japanese; then explain that being gaijin is simply an unfortunate fate with which you will have to deal throughout your life. I have seen this done with devastating effect, btw. Rarely worth the bother though.

-Ww

Laughing in the way you are describing would make it appear that the foreigner is crazy, in most cases outside of a bar (and possibly there too). The Japanese who initiated or instigated the situation, will then act as if you are the aggressor (the crazy aggressor), or recoil in horror pretending to be totally innocent.

You shouldn't have to apologize to a Japanese person for existing. It's your natural right to exist. And it's arguably playing into what they are doing, where they are trying to belittle you.

In many cases, the insult by the Japanese person is "hit and run". They do something insulting and cowardly exit the area, because they fear the foreigner will notice or retaliate. So the foreign person would have no chance to respond, unless they are unusually quick or already aware of what is about to happen.

An example (and possibly No. 8 for you ROB), is where they pretend to about to sit next to you (train, bus, coffee shop...) then suddenly (as if changed their mind) get up or don't fully sit. Then speed off elsewhere.

Another related one, is going into a group debate about who will sit next to the foreigner, where all in the group refuse or start laughing.

In cases where the Japanese person stays around, you can mirror their behavior (do it back) or ask them "why" they are doing such an action, in Japanese. In both cases, the Japanese person or group will realize that you know what they are doing or make them aware of how they are acting inappropriately towards you. Usually, they won't repeat such behavior around you again, or they may even apologize to you.

 

[John Chavers]

or they may even apologize to you

As if their apology means anything. Apologies in Japanese culture are like "Have a nice day!" platitudes in America: automated social lubricant without sincerity.

What are you doing with these posts? Are you serializing a self-published ebook?

 

[Solong]

As if their apology means anything. Apologies in Japanese culture are like "Have a nice day!" platitudes in America: automated social lubricant without sincerity.

What are you doing with these posts? Are you serializing a self-published ebook?

This is a forum for discussion, so what are you doing?

This isn't an attack forum, where you go after whoever dares to make a post about something. If you have something to contribute to the discussion, then do.

As for the apology, it's a matter of acknowledgement and not repeating the behavior. When they realize that foreigners are aware of it, then it usually is no longer worth the effort to do it. It's out in the open, and one can't be sly about it.

 

[John Chavers]

This isn't an attack forum, where you go after whoever dares to make a post about something

Has it occurred to you that you might be wrong, especially when giving non-PUA advice?

When they realize that foreigners are aware of it, then it usually is no longer worth the effort to do it

I think the bolded words above crystallize your personal views on Japan and Japanese people perfectly.

 

[Solong]

Has it occurred to you that you might be wrong, especially when giving non-PUA advice?

I think the bolded words above crystallize your personal views on Japan and Japanese people perfectly.

Has it occurred to you, that YOU might be wrong or that others are allowed to have a DIFFERENCE of opinion?

Your opinion is NOT the end all, be all. This includes your silliness about what you believe I might be thinking about Japan or Japanese.

This isn't about ALL Japanese, but SPECIFIC Japanese that are doing racist or passive-aggressive/micro-aggresive behavior. That should be clear. Because the topic is about Japan, and may say something unfavorable, doesn't mean you have to be overly defensive. People are entitled to have their opinions, be it about Japan, America, Spain, or wherever.

That people tell the truth and reality of what they seen in Japan, can help others new to Japan or clarify cultural differences.

 

[Wwanderer]

Laughing in the way you are describing would make it appear that the foreigner is crazy, in most cases outside of a bar (and possibly there too). The Japanese who initiated or instigated the situation, will then act as if you are the aggressor (the crazy aggressor), or recoil in horror pretending to be totally innocent.

Maybe so, but why should I care how I appear to them or how they react?

You shouldn't have to apologize to a Japanese person for existing. It's your natural right to exist. And it's arguably playing into what they are doing, where they are trying to belittle you.

It is transparently (to most) not a sincere apology at all but a way of mocking their insulting behavior...but again, hardly worth the bother unless one is in a particular sort of silly mood.

-Ww

 

[John Chavers]

Has it occurred to you, that YOU might be wrong

Yes, I think about that all the time.

or that others are allowed to have a DIFFERENCE of opinion

Sure, but you're on the wrong forum if you want them treated as papal encyclicals.

Your opinion is NOT the end all, be all

I agree. Now it's your turn.

 

[R.O.B]

Would that be a work of fiction or non-fiction, John Chavers? Either way an eyeball drier. I do not doubt that Solong has experienced the behaviours he has described. I have myself in the long time I have been here. Call me an apologist but pigeonholing them as p-a or racist is going a bit far. I have said it before - it is insensitive to use one culture's labels ('odd', 'weird', a-p, racist) to judge another culture. I am not saying these things don't happen but they may say more about individual of a culture than the whole culture itself. Not saying there are not racist or a-p people either. I know a lot of garden-variety Japanese people of both sexes in numerous contexts and in varying degrees of intimacy. Most are not bi-lingual and refreshingly so as that may 'taint' their cultural views somewhat. Many a time a behaviour similar to something Solong decribes has happened. I know enough to deal with it myself but more often than not a Japanese person will wave it off in my favour and in all cases that person proves to be 'weird' to other Japanese. But, maybe and I think obviously, Solong and I move in different circles.

 

[Solong]

It is transparently (to most) not a sincere apology at all but a way of mocking their insulting behavior...but again, hardly worth the bother unless one is in a particular sort of silly mood.

-Ww

This is true, but I've actually seen this done. It didn't get the expected result, as the group of Japanese looked at the guy (an Australian) like he was crazy and started laughing. Though this was a bar situation (the HUB).

I do think it may be successful in a work or school situation, as a 1st attempt to resolve the situation, if you don't over do it. Just apologize for being a foreigner who is still learning and/or to forgive any error/mistake you might have made, as you strive to improve.

 

[John Chavers]

Would that be a work of fiction or non-fiction, John Chavers?

I was thinking something along the lines of this, maybe in a chapter on caveats and warnings? It would probably sell incredibly well.

 

[John Chavers]

Just apologize for being a foreigner who is still learning and/or to forgive any error/mistake you might have made, as you strive to improve.

 

[Vulkan]

Unless I need them to do something for me, why bother with people like this? Are you so thin skinned that you need everyone to love you?

I've had my share of run-ins with racists in Japan, but I don't bellyache about it on unrelated public forums about mongering.

I suggest you use your tough skin and ignore his posts.

 

[John Chavers]

I suggest you use your tough skin and ignore his posts.

Solong posts insightful material that is worth reading; I only disagree with some of his conclusions, and it'd be a shame to throw the baby out with the bathwater through a blanket ban of all things Solong.

 

[Solong]

Would that be a work of fiction or non-fiction, John Chavers? Either way an eyeball drier. I do not doubt that Solong has experienced the behaviours he has described. I have myself in the long time I have been here. Call me an apologist but pigeonholing them as p-a or racist is going a bit far. I have said it before - it is insensitive to use one culture's labels ('odd', 'weird', a-p, racist) to judge another culture. I am not saying these things don't happen but they may say more about individual of a culture than the whole culture itself. Not saying there are not racist or a-p people either. I know a lot of garden-variety Japanese people of both sexes in numerous contexts and in varying degrees of intimacy. Most are not bi-lingual and refreshingly so as that may 'taint' their cultural views somewhat. Many a time a behaviour similar to something Solong decribes has happened. I know enough to deal with it myself but more often than not a Japanese person will wave it off in my favour and in all cases that person proves to be 'weird' to other Japanese. But, maybe and I think obviously, Solong and I move in different circles.

I've watched various Japanese do these behaviors to many foreigners over the years. Simply go into say a HUB where foreigners frequent or watch the interactions on a train. Just watch and observe, allows one to learn a lot too.

And I have discussed this with foreign friends and associates more times than I can count. Germans, Americans, Australians, Brazilians, Czech, etc..

The behaviors listed, by various Japanese, were a common theme. I rather deal with the reality of Japan, and not some fantasy. I see it as better to clarify what is going on, as then people can better be prepared for it and deal with it.

That I and some of my friends recognize and understand such behaviors has allowed us to choose better Japanese friends, business partners, jobs, housing agencies, etc...

It works in the reverse too, as Japanese that do NOT exhibit negative or micro-aggressive behaviors, are often better to associate with. Often more international-minded or straight up more authentically friendlier.

 

[John Chavers]

people can better be prepared for it and deal with it.

That I and some of my friends recognize and understand such behaviors has allowed us to choose better Japanese friends, business partners, jobs, housing agencies, etc

@Vulkan: @Solong delivers. Glad I ignored your suggestion.

 

[Mr Cat]

If a JAPANESE standing near by me sneezes, does it means he/she is a racist sneakily sending a message to japanese people around ? Should I confront him/her or sneeze right back at him/her?

 

[namae]

The HUB. Now you got me thinking. Whenever I go to the Hub and order Fish and Chips, they always deep fry my fish and cover it in batter. They never serve me sashimi. Coded message?

 

[Solong]

If a JAPANESE standing near by me sneezes, does it means he/she is a racist sneakily sending a message to japanese people around ? Should I confront him/her or sneeze right back at him/her?

The HUB. Now you got me thinking. Whenever I go to the Hub and order Fish and Chips, they always deep fry my fish and cover it in batter. They never serve me sashimi. Coded message?

Nobody mentioned sneezing, nor as the only thing to look for.

It requires that a person lived in Japan for many years, and to be very observant about body language. The combination of which, few are.

As to the silliness, do as you like. For blindness and unawareness of your surroundings and what people in them do, you may continue.

The information is only for those that seek to be more aware.

 

[k1234k]

You can go through life wound tight into a paranoid, angry ball of hate and bitterness, seeking out every so-called injustice shown against you...

Or not.

I recommend the latter. You might live longer, too.

 

[Solong]

You can go through life wound tight into a paranoid, angry ball of hate and bitterness, seeking out every so-called injustice shown against you...

Or not.

I recommend the latter. You might live longer, too.

Sigh, what was posted is how to recognize Japanese who are behaving a certain way. And not all Japanese, but certain ones. It's for having greater understanding of body language and what's going on around you.

NOTHING posted was about being angry, bitter, and all that other drivel. You are projecting what you might be hoping or fantasizing is the case. My Japanese girlfriends, friends, and co-workers would tell you differently.

And what you might be failing to realize, is recognizing Japanese that are like that, means you can avoid them and associate with those Japanese that are NOT behaving like that. It works both ways.