Retreat, Bliss Out, 9259 Report Sat 2/16

[truecrisis]

After much research, last Saturday I (34/m/white) went with my girlfriend (27/f/japanese) to Retreat, Bliss Out, and 9259. I thought I'd write a report, and maybe get your feedback. This will be long.

Short profile: I'm new to all of this. I'm not keen on the idea of an open relationship, nor do I (currently) want to share my girl with another man. My girlfriend has never been with a girl, but expresses interest in trying it. I'm uneasy, but open to the idea. I feel it might be fun to play with her while others are watching. She doesn't currently feel comfortable having people see her body and is more interested in watching others. She also doesn't want me playing with another girl.

I decided to check out happening bars to 1) see what all this is about and 2) to explore the 1% chance that my gf might find a girl she likes.

She was very nervous to go but was a champion and bit the bullet due to her interest in watching people fuck.

Retreat
Based on reports here, I read that Retreat has some amazing staff, and that its common for girls to go because they feel very safe, its professional, and there are no windows for watching. We had high expectations and went here first. We arrived at 9pm. The building it resides in is really clean and welcoming, not shady at all. But when we arrived we were forced to wait in line to enter, and it was the worst first impression we could have had. Let me recommend to anyone new to this scene to go in the daytime when there are less people to have to tolerate. To begin with, we were already nervous, but now we had to deal with the Japanese guys waiting in line with us literally devouring her with really lingering stares. She almost called it off but we stuck it out and went inside after about 10-15 minutes waiting. She's extremely attractive so I expected her to be popular, but I didn't expect to have to wait in line awkwardly like that. I was pretty irritated that we had to be put in a bad mood by such a bad first impression.

When we got in, the staff was overall pleasant as reported. When we walked in we were both very nervous as they showed us the locker rooms. Immediately we noticed multiple women. My girlfriend of course profiles them to see what kind of clientele will come to these places, and luckily most of the girls were attractive. Good first impression there. We went on bunny night, and she was very interested in seeing the girls in the bunny outfits, but apprehensive to wear them herself. After arriving she immediately said she absolutely refused to consider wearing it due to being repulsed by all the stares.

All the staff wore suits, which was another good first impression. After the locker room, we were guided to the main area. A large room with a large round sofa spanning the walls with low tables in the middle. Contrary to my expectations, unfortunately the sofa was really dirty and the leather torn. The place was packed, and had people sitting in the middle of the room on the floor as well as the sofas being fully used. There were about 35-40 people, with like 15 of them women. Majority of the women were about 20~30 years old, and the men spanned 20~35. We were guided to the sofa and the staff gave us a hand towel and explained the system.

After ordering the drinks, we found that literally everyone was staring at us. One of the staff came over and asked if I speak Japanese because someone was interested in talking to us. I said yes, but we weren't ready to talk to anyone yet. Shortly after the oldest Japanese guy in the room, like 50, came and started talking to us. He was drunk and annoying but polite. Overall a bad experience, as we would have liked to talk to someone our age, if anyone. He also kept touching her and getting in her face. I wanted to get rid of him, but she insisted on being polite. We were able to get rid of him after about 45 minutes.

We wanted to check out the playrooms, even though she was too disgusted to mess around. But they were being used and after about another 30 minutes of waiting decided to head to the next place. While waiting we noticed many new people coming in and noted all the creepy stares at every girl who walked in as we experienced ourselfs.

Bliss out
I wanted to go to bliss out so my girlfriend could see people fucking and they also had a rope event going on that I was extremely interested in. I want to learn to how to tie up a girl and was interested in having the sensei teach me to do it to my girlfriend. She was against being tied up in front of everyone, so I didn't expect it to happen but wanted to go anyway. We arrived at like 11. The building entrance is extremely shady but we expected this because of reports on TAG. After going inside, the signup process was easy and painless. But the staff was less professional. As we expected. I appreciated that the staff seated us next to another couple so that we might break the ice but we weren't in the mood for that based on how the night was going.

From reports, I also expected some action happening in the main bar area, like a few blow jobs or something, but when we arrived there was an overweight lady tied up on the floor and someone was holding a vibrator to her. She was crying loudly like in your average japanese porn. It was another extremely bad first impression, as this went on for far too long and disgusted my girlfriend again. She's a nice girl but this actually really started to piss her off. They really should have asked someone loud like that to move to the play area. The place was packed as well, like maybe about 40-50 people. About 15-20 women. A few couples. However, compared to Retreat everyone was much more unattractive and older. I expected this, so no big deal.

I was really hoping that we could see the playroom from the bar area and was disappointed to learn that you couldn't sit down in front of a window and enjoy watching people fuck while enjoying a drink. The play area was downstairs and drinks are not allowed down there. We both expected to watch people while drinking, get turned on from that, and potentially go join in the fun. It's really unfortunate that wasn't the case.

We went downstairs and watched 1 or 2 Japanese couples playing around. The Japanese ladies were doing the JAV porn voice again which wasn't attractive but it was acceptable since it was in the play room. Due to being put in a bad mood most of the night already, the GF didn't find it arousing at all, but I slightly started to enjoy it. We were both hoping this cute foreigner girl would play with someone, but it didn't happen. We started to lose interest and decided to head to 9259.

9259
I expected this place to be the best, based on reports here. I was disappointed to learn it was about 15 minutes walk from Kabukicho but oh well. We arrived at about 1am. The door staff was extremely rude compared to the other places, but the staff who showed us around were extremely friendly and we really liked them, putting us in a better mood. There were quite a bit of people here too. The music was nice, and it had a great atmosphere compared to before. The clientele were varied. About 35 people, with like 5-10 of them women. Maybe on the older side but not like Bliss out. Everyone was in a good mood and drunk. Absolutely nobody used the playrooms, so we couldn't watch, disappointing my girlfriend. However one of the cuter girls with a killer body was being whipped and tied up in the bar area, so that kept our attention for a while. It's unfortunate my gf couldn't get aroused by seeing that due to her mood.

After a while of boredom, the staff came over and asked us if we wanted to play around, offering some costumes or some kind of action, but we declined saying we only wanted to watch. Overall the place was pleasant for me, but still my girlfriend found it disgusting in general. Largely due to the fact that she found nearly no one attractive.

We left around 2am and waited for the first train.

Retrospect
The days following we continued to talk about the experience, and it seems her initial shock has worn off. We chalked it up to a really unlucky night. People on here say never to go on Saturday nights, and we probably should have heeded that advice. We seem to be leaning to trying again in the distant future and seeing if we get lucky with some more attractive clientele. Next time we go, if we go, might be Sleeping Beauty as its reported to have the youngest crowd. She expresses remorse that we didn't have a good night, so I see promise that she wants to give it another shot. I really don't expect to find a girl who is her type, but we are hoping to at least avoid any unwanted attention and see some more people fucking. I'm hoping I can get her comfortable enough to get naked and play with me.


Anyone have any input? Does the above sound like a typical experience for someone new to the scene? Did we get really unlucky, or were our expectations too high? Do you have any advice to ensure any future visits go smoothly? Perhaps it's just she's not that type of girl, but I'm hoping to avoid her feeling disgusted the next time we go. Her optimism that the next time might be better makes me hopeful she might enjoy it, but I think in order for her to be able to go a third or fourth time it really hinges on the attractiveness of the women participating the next time we go.

 

[User#8628]

Anyone have any input?

Honestly, it sounds like the happening bars were full with well behaved people enjoying themselves and you guys are being stuck up.
I can understand being not used to it and not getting all excited because the people there aren’t that attractive to you but this is real life and not a Hollywood movie. If you are gonna be “disgusted” somewhere that’s supposed to be an open minded environment, maybe you should not go.

You could try Olive 21 if you are interested in watching people fuck. There are no single men so many its a more comfortable environment for the both of you.
Its the norm to swap there, but usually the couples are rather hesitant and not pushy, and you can simply says its your first time and you are nervous and more interested in exhibionism.
Girls are girl next door type but very well kept usually. 20s and 30s. Guys i found are older and less attractive although still okayish.
Probably no chance for girl on girl play only unless you can find a like minded couple that agrees on only girl play.
I think it might be a more pleasant scene to watch for you.

 

[truecrisis]

you guys are being stuck up.

I agree with everything you said. I am more open minded than she is, I think it was that she was in a bad mood from the shock at Retreat.
I think she can be eased into being more open minded so long as she has more exposure, and I'm only trying to make sure her first times are in her interests. Talking about the experience the following days seemed to show that she was much more accepting. I honestly think it was just her expectations were really high.

try Olive 21

I was hesitant to try a CK because of the pressure to swap. Thanks for the advice on this.

 

[TAG Manager]

I'd have to agree with the above posters... I think you guys had the wrong idea of what the contents of a Happening Bar are.
Not to be rude about it, but this sort of sums up my feeling when reading your feedback:

Honestly, it sounds like the happening bars were full with well behaved people enjoying themselves and you guys are being stuck up.

Olive 21 may be an option but I still think you won't like the environment despite it being for couples only.

You described the HB's pretty much as most of us would expect. (By no means am I a regular visitor, but I've been there enough to know what's good and what's bad.)

Sorry if this wasn't you wanted to hear, but I firmly believe that HB's or even CK's aren't for you guys.
Maybe something more private would be more tasteful or attractive to you both.

 

[MikeH]

but now we had to deal with the Japanese guys waiting in line with us literally devouring her with really lingering stares.

You describe her as "extremely attractive" and then you are surprised that she gets looks from guys? I would venture a wild guess that this is to be expected. And that many girls would go there just to get those looks too.

 

[truecrisis]

then you are surprised that she gets looks from guys

Not surprised at all. Had we entered the venue first it would have been more digestible, but waiting outside for example having the dude in front of us turn around and just stare without saying a word was rather uncomfortable for her. We weren't ready to have a conversation at that point either so we weren't about to initiate.

I think you guys had the wrong idea of what the contents of a Happening Bar are.

I see, thanks for the feedback! I agree we probably did.
It's sad to hear you might think it's not for us, but we are at least willing to try again now that the expectations are different thanks to the initial exposure.

 

[Frenchy]

Not surprised at all. Had we entered the venue first it would have been more digestible, but waiting outside for example having the dude in front of us turn around and just stare without saying a word was rather uncomfortable for her. We weren't ready to have a conversation at that point either so we weren't about to initiate.



I see, thanks for the feedback! I agree we probably did.
It's sad to hear you might think it's not for us, but we are at least willing to try again now that the expectations are different thanks to the initial exposure.

Although I agree with what Chris and Alice wrote , just wanted to thank you for writing these reviews. I only went to BO and 9259, those places are fun if you’re open minded (and a bit drunk.. and lucky) but people should not think it’s some kind of luxurious orgy with models types only and VIP reception etc... Far from it. It’s still a bit amateurish compared to some clubs in Europe I heard about

 

[e-smile]

Retrospect
The days following we continued to talk about the experience, and it seems her initial shock has worn off. We chalked it up to a really unlucky night. People on here say never to go on Saturday nights, and we probably should have heeded that advice. We seem to be leaning to trying again in the distant future and seeing if we get lucky with some more attractive clientele. Next time we go, if we go, might be Sleeping Beauty as its reported to have the youngest crowd. She expresses remorse that we didn't have a good night, so I see promise that she wants to give it another shot. I really don't expect to find a girl who is her type, but we are hoping to at least avoid any unwanted attention and see some more people fucking. I'm hoping I can get her comfortable enough to get naked and play with me.


Anyone have any input? Does the above sound like a typical experience for someone new to the scene? Did we get really unlucky, or were our expectations too high? Do you have any advice to ensure any future visits go smoothly? Perhaps it's just she's not that type of girl, but I'm hoping to avoid her feeling disgusted the next time we go. Her optimism that the next time might be better makes me hopeful she might enjoy it, but I think in order for her to be able to go a third or fourth time it really hinges on the attractiveness of the women participating the next time we go.

from my point of view you shouldn't go there with your girl friend, she's not the right person to go with to such places, if you just want to watch people fuck and have girl on girl action it's better to find a like minded couple who's not seeking swinging. and I don't think it was a good idea to go to 3 places the first night, especially after a bad feeling established in the 1st place.

also I don't understand why you'd rather wait for the first train outside in the cold than inside 9259 with free drinks.

I went many times to sleeping beauty and 9259.

first time in sleeping beauty 1 year and half ago we weren't a couple yet and we went with two other friends (a Korean girl and a Colombian guy), it was an awesome experience for me but not for the Colombian guy as he ended up with no action while I was having threesomes with my future girl friend and that Korean girl. We stopped going to sleeping beauty because of the current staff, when I went alone they were ok but last time I went with my gf they were really rude (especially to her), we felt like they didn't want us there and annoyed that we started fucking pretty early while other customers were not. it was like they were trying to cockblock us. for example one came to check if I was wearing condom during action and when I say check it means she literally asked me to put my dick out to see if I was wearing it, kind of a mood breaker. also any question we asked like "there is no pole dance bar only today or it's removed for ever ?" they answered pretty aggressively as if it was an offensive question to ask, so yeah we won't go there again.

first time we went to 9259 one year ago following @User#8628 's recommendation we were not into swinging but as my gf is bisexual we were hoping to have girl on girl action. we were a little defensive and there was a sticky ojisan insisting on talking to us but as time passed we felt more comfortable and I made clear with the guys that I won't be sharing my gf so it was ok. they enjoyed watching us in action and respected the boundaries. later we were chatting with a single guy with a single girl and asked them if they'd want to go to playroom with the conditions I mentioned and it went well, she had action with the girl and we enjoyed our time so much we kind of became regulars there and after many times I can still say it's a place I'm going to go to again. maybe we can go together and have them girl friends play with each other ? we're also interested in trying olive 21 because they don't have single men but I don't know if there will be an implicit pressure for swapping.

 

[e-smile]

Not surprised at all. Had we entered the venue first it would have been more digestible, but waiting outside for example having the dude in front of us turn around and just stare without saying a word was rather uncomfortable for her. We weren't ready to have a conversation at that point either so we weren't about to initiate.

that's totally understandable, after reading here that miss campus (oppai club) accepts couples we decided to go and we left as soon as the elevator door opened for us to see a line of oyaji waiting.

 

[Frenchy]

from my point of view you shouldn't go there with your girl friend, she's not the right person to go with to such places, if you just want to watch people fuck and have girl on girl action it's better to find a like minded couple who's not seeking swinging. and I don't think it was a good idea to go to 3 places the first night, especially after a bad feeling established in the 1st place.

also I don't understand why you'd rather wait for the first train outside in the cold than inside 9259 with free drinks.

I went many times to sleeping beauty and 9259.

first time in sleeping beauty 1 year and half ago we weren't a couple yet and we went with two other friends (a Korean girl and a Colombian guy), it was an awesome experience for me but not for the Colombian guy as he ended up with no action while I was having threesomes with my future girl friend and that Korean girl. We stopped going to sleeping beauty because of the current staff, when I went alone they were ok but last time I went with my gf they were really rude (especially to her), we felt like they didn't want us there and annoyed that we started fucking pretty early while other customers were not. it was like they were trying to cockblock us. for example one came to check if I was wearing condom during action and when I say check it means she literally asked me to put my dick out to see if I was wearing it, kind of a mood breaker. also any question we asked like "there is no pole dance bar only today or it's removed for ever ?" they answered pretty aggressively as if it was an offensive question to ask, so yeah we won't go there again.

first time we went to 9259 one year ago following @User#8628 's recommendation we were not into swinging but as my gf is bisexual we were hoping to have girl on girl action. we were a little defensive and there was a sticky ojisan insisting on talking to us but as time passed we felt more comfortable and I made clear with the guys that I won't be sharing my gf so it was ok. they enjoyed watching us in action and respected the boundaries. later we were chatting with a single guy with a single girl and asked them if they'd want to go to playroom with the conditions I mentioned and it went well, she had action with the girl and we enjoyed our time so much we kind of became regulars there and after many times I can still say it's a place I'm going to go to again. maybe we can go together and have them girl friends play with each other ? we're also interested in trying olive 21 because they don't have single men but I don't know if there will be an implicit pressure for swapping.

Glad I dodged the bullet of Sleeping Beauty. Went with an SB there but were refused entry because her insurance card was supposedly expired (in fact it was a mistake). Super cold welcome indeed, borderline rude. So we went to BO where they were celebrating an anniversary and had a really good time.

 

[truecrisis]

but last time I went with my gf they were really rude (especially to her), we felt like they didn't want us there

Thats really disheartening to hear. Fuck. This Saturday is a couples only event where you can announce "i'm willing to play with other couples" and they stamp you. I figured that would be a really nice system, in addition to the couple discounts that day. It might be too early to ask her to go though. I'm not sure if shes ready.

we were chatting with a single guy with a single girl and asked them if they'd want to go to playroom with the conditions I mentioned

I forgot to mention this rule in my OP. That rule upset my girlfriend a little, where you cant have MFF. It slightly discouraged us. I'm happy to hear you were able to get around that rule! Honestly, I did think that 9259 was the most relaxed atmosphere overall. Also very clean comparatively.

maybe we can go together and have them girl friends play with each other ?

My GF is curious, and while she would certainly be interested in your offer, I think she wants to make sure her first time is with her perfect match. At Retreat I was surprised she wasn't interested in many of the cute girls there. I still don't know her type. I think after shes been with a girl she can be more flexible.

we're also interested in trying olive 21 because they don't have single men but I don't know if there will be an implicit pressure for swapping.

Yeah that pressure dissuades me too. Was happy to hear Alices feedback.

 

[e-smile]

Glad I dodged the bullet of Sleeping Beauty. Went with an SB there but were refused entry because her insurance card was supposedly expired (in fact it was a mistake). Super cold welcome indeed, borderline rude. So we went to BO where they were celebrating an anniversary and had a really good time.

I don't mind the cold attitude in the entrances but inside I really didn't understand.

 

[e-smile]

I forgot to mention this rule in my OP. That rule upset my girlfriend a little, where you cant have MFF. It slightly discouraged us. I'm happy to hear you were able to get around that rule! Honestly, I did think that 9259 was the most relaxed atmosphere overall. Also very clean comparatively.

indeed, that's why we proposed a couple to go play as two couple, they wouldn't allow that with a single girl.
so if you want her to play with a girl the best option is to find a couple and talk about the boundaries with the guy.

My GF is curious, and while she would certainly be interested in your offer, I think she wants to make sure her first time is with her perfect match. At Retreat I was surprised she wasn't interested in many of the cute girls there. I still don't know her type. I think after shes been with a girl she can be more flexible.

tell her to chill her expectations, pressure and expectations won't help making that 1st time being great or even happening, it's the same as virgin young guys who miss chances because they want a perfect first time
for example if we go together we should first chat and break the ice then go with the idea that there won't be necessarily anything happening between her and my girl and from that any thing can happen, from the little to the lot. you and I have the same boundaries and my girl has girl on girl experience so I think it should work.
we can also just have a drink in a normal bar to chat without urge or pressure.

 

[User#8628]

miss campus (oppai club) accepts couples

Do they? Thats good information!

 

[User#8628]

I like the suggestion of finding another couple to just watch each other and maybe have the girls experiment. Sometimes couples post an “ad” here on TAG but it seems a bit hit or miss since some are only in Tokyo for a few days. Such a couple could also be found in a CK but might indeed be an uncomfortable environment.
I’m also surprised you looked at 3 HB in one night!

Other options would be hiring an escort so your girl can explore girl play, but since you don’t seem super comfortable with this and you are not allowed to play with the girl yourself, this is not ideal.
Watching live sex shows of couples could be a good option (they are always in athletic shape) but not a thing in Japan nowadays i think. If you go to Europe sometime it can be something to explore.

 

[User#8628]

As for swapping in Olive. I have only recently started going and from my personal experience, the couples are much less aggressive to approach than single men in HB. Contrary, when i went i was on the fence of giving up because of how long it takes before something happens, especially for the first round.
There is a kind of hallway in front of the playrooms where couples can stand and watch. You may get approached at some point but you can just turn them down. If the girl of the couple seems interested in your girl (one girl was crazy about me when i went and although we swapped, we could have just as easily abandoned the guys) you can suggest some girl on girl play.

 

[Poppydoo]

Thanks for sharing truecrisis! I used to swing more often in Europe and with friends too. I have to say not only for hot miss with the crowd but also with yourself. I went with a partner who went totally free and I was risky ok with that and another over whom I was possessive. I would say with exhibitionism and voyeurism that there is a difference between leering and appreciation and it all boils down to your connections with people (but some people are creepy af), and your partner just didn't feel it. I second starting slower and sing seeing you like.

Anecdote: one of my first introductions was with a couple at their home. The husband picked me up and spoke to me privately, laid down rules and then got gig high me. She came in between quick to also greet me before we had any fun. Even people who have been swinging for years have different ways of approaching and I think you both just need to find yours.

 

[User#8628]

Anyway, thanks for the detailed review of 3 places. It is definitely useful information and to me personally it got me a bit more interested in Retreat.

 

[scotchgambit]

Hi truecrisis,

You’ve had plenty of good feedback already so I’ll keep it short, just a couple points to add... I’m one of those you mention who says don’t go on Saturdays. In my experience it’s almost always the worst day, bar a couple of decent nights. But my best visits have always been Thursdays (as in every time) and sometimes Fridays.

Also don’t think touring round 3 places sounds like a good time. The crowd can change quite a lot throughout the night, some come early & leave early, some don’t turn up until 1 or 2am after they get out of work at a restaurant or whatever. If you get somewhere and it isn’t great, have a few drinks, chill, and it can all turn right round later.

And the queue thing, that sounds super unlucky. Longest line I’ve ever seen at Retreat was one person or couple in front of me, couple minutes wait. If I saw a long line of dudes I’d probably go wander round the block then try again. At 9259 I got there once and a pretty lass was outside filling in the registration form. Broke the ice with her then & there, inside we had a drink & eventually played, and I actually saw her a bunch of times after that.

It’s all pretty random. I’d say don’t give up on it, maybe try again on a thurs or fri and stick to one place for the night

 

[truecrisis]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. Had a chat with the GF, and sounds like she's not into it - at least for a few years. Seems the reasoning is that she finds HBs rather dirty establishments. The sofas, the tables, the towels, the pillows, the cosplay costumes, etc all feel dirty to her. Unfortunate.

Glad I could give back to the community!

About going to all 3 places, the reasoning was this:

1. Retreat would be a conservative, clean, safe introduction
2. Bliss out had ropes and voyeurism and foreigners (she likes foreigners)
3. 9259 was to be another day, but since I felt there was no chance of going with the GF to Shinjuku I added it in the end.
4. Sleeping beauty was to be another day, but sounds like its not going to happen.

Money wasn't really an issue, but yeah, it was expensive.

 

[TAG Manager]

Had a chat with the GF, and sounds like she's not into it - at least for a few years.

I took a Japanese (20's, attractive) girl to Olive 21 at her request; she had no idea that something like that existed in Tokyo.
We went one time and it was pretty much a "been there, done that, checked the box" kind of thing.
It wasn't her cup of tea - and she wasn't turned off by the atmosphere but the actual negotiation between men for swapping.
She was attractive, so there was a lot of interest. We played by ourselves one time and swapped as well.

I've been to 9259 a few times, each time as a couple. Each trip, we had a good time...

Best event days, in my opinion would be Halloween events and the year-end parties.

 

[User#8628]

she wasn't turned off by the atmosphere but the actual negotiation between men for swapping.

This is a big thing i dislike about Olive and about the swingers community in general as well. Especially as the woman you are literally “tradable goods” so your partner can enjoy with another woman. Olive seems to empathize that in that only the men get a members card (!) and its usually the men who do the negotiations (although fortunately i have had cute girls talk directly to me there as well). Also someone said if they let you in or not depends on the Japanese level of the guy. So again, it seems that only his voice is important. And like i mentioned earlier, the girl is almost without exception the most attractive one of the couple. I have only played with one guy (only counting the guys I didn’t come with) who i considered to be above average attractive.

I have met nice people there and it’s respectful, but i really miss some intimacy in the swingers scene. Someone somewhere else on TAG said about swinging “its ok if its just sex but girls get jealous if you are nice to a girl at a HB and compliment her a lot”. So basically its using people and not building up a real appreciation in most cases and thats not something i enjoy.

 

[Lokiofasgard]

Her I think in the cute foreigner girl you were talking about at bliss out. I went the same night you did about the same time. Do you recognize me from the my profile pic?
It's was my first night at a happening bar and I was super nervous, I wanted to get a feel of the area before I started playing.

 

[truecrisis]

Do you recognize me from the my profile pic?

Ah, it was dark but yeah I'm pretty sure it was you! For what it's worth, you seemed like you were pretty comfortable!

How did you feel about the night?

 

[Troilist]

If you or your gf are going to venture down this path of exploration as a couple, you are both setting yourselves up for failure by having such high expectations. On the other hand, I can understand and sympathize with both you and your gf’s disappointments because my husband and I encountered similar experiences as newbies several years back. Our first few experiences at clubs in Europe similar to the happening bars in Japan were quite disappointing too. But being new to the scene and not knowing any better, our first mistake was having expectations as if it would look like a scene out of Hollywood. I wouldn’t overthink about your overall feelings about what you both experienced. Now that you both have a better idea of the scene, you can revisit with a more open mind and with more accurate expectations in the future.

But imo, from the description of what you and your gf are looking for and taking into consideration it being her first experience with a girl, I highly recommend skipping the happening bars scene for now and hire an escort. You will be able to clearly communicate to the escort of your choice your expectations, wishes and desires without feeling weird or awkward. Plus being in a more controlled environment will help your gf feel more relaxed and most likely have an enjoyable experience within her own comfort level and within your limitations as a couple. The ladies here on TAG are all well reviewed and if I were you, I would explore this as your next option. This will also allow your gf to truly explore her interests in girls without any added pressure or expectations from the escort which I feel is a plus especially for her first time.