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reverse cultue shock

hitman99

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I posted about this on reddit Tokyo but it got deleted ( friendly admins) - I am about to move back to my country and am worried about what it will be like after 12 years in the big mikan.

Other friends have said it takes ages to adjust and many times home feels like a third world country compared to life in Tokyo ? Any thoughts or words of wisdom to soften the landing. ?
 
Why would that get deleted? That’s odd...

I get culture shock everytime I go back to my hometown. I’m thankful to have that return ticket to Japan when my 2-3 week visit is over.

If I were to move back home, I think I’d probably be lost for awhile - a list too big to make here of all the thins that I would miss from Japan or more specifically, Tokyo.
 
I think the shock will be even way higher than moving to a new country and culture.

As you said everyone thinks they are "going back" to something they know. After 12 years the old country is not what it used to be nor you are the same guy you used to be either.

Expect to be struggling for the first year. And to be moving back to Japan in three. :D
 
I go back to the states often enough that I don't think I would have culture shock. Don't get me wrong there are things that piss me off when I return that are culture related, but mostly not an issue for me.
 
The longer you spend in Japan the worse it seems to get. After a year in Japan, going back home was super weird. I come from a small town too so staying in Tokyo probably makes it worse. Nothing is open late and the streets are always really empty, which I find eerie now. Going to experience it soon going back home for the holidays so we'll see how that one goes. Interacting with people outside Japan is a little off at first because I get used to seeing certain body language and gestures that we just don't do in the UK but it's normal parts of interaction in Japan. Speaking exclusively in English is the only good thing because nothing is ever a struggle. No mistakes on forms or having to call up somewhere about a bill or something and struggle through the conversation.

As I'm planning on working full time in Japan through next year and beyond I think getting my Japanese beyond "usable" will be a priority. That's another funny one when I go home and hang out with friends, they always ask me to translate stuff or they'll have me chat to the waiter at the Japanese restaurant if we go for a night out in London and tell me how great my Japanese is. NO IT'S NOT. Okay they do that to me in Japan too...My one friend tells it like it is though "Bruh I can understand what you're saying but it's completely wrong..."
 
You can't look ladies in the office of a bit of "I'm checkin ya" if you have to go back to the States. Maybe in Japan, some of you may enjoyed discretingly checking your coworker girls out, but if you do that in the US...straight to HR yellow flag reporting?? scary!
 
There are good and bad point outside Japan so overall it compensate when I go back home.
But the thing I have most hard time re-adapting to is driving.
 
You can't look ladies in the office of a bit of "I'm checkin ya" if you have to go back to the States. Maybe in Japan, some of you may enjoyed discretingly checking your coworker girls out, but if you do that in the US...straight to HR yellow flag reporting?? scary!
i always check out girls in the office here. do u think they know? lol i hope lookin is not an offense coz some of them dresses so nicely n i like girls in nice heels
 
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I posted about this on reddit Tokyo but it got deleted ( friendly admins) - I am about to move back to my country and am worried about what it will be like after 12 years in the big mikan.

Tokyo subreddit specifically posted the rules that only post if you are living in Japan I think, so that's why it got deleted if you are already out of the country.

i always check out girls in the office here. do u think they know? lol i hope lookin is not an offense coz some of them dresses so nicely n i like girls in nice heels

You can look, but you can't stare at them and make them feel un-comfortable. How do you know if they are un-comfortable? You can't so better not try your luck. It's funny that with how things are, but then again, too many stupid guys made things harder for every other guys so. I read it somewhere that the Wall Street guys wouldn't dine with female colleagues alone to avoid potential problems or rumors haha.
 
Thanks for the replies gang - probably a good point the last few post as well but I do not feel the need to check out western women as much !
I think just the general lack of business / people manners and dress sense is going to grate me also very expensive booze and cigs !!
 
Geez, I sometimes get reverse culture shock after my 2 week trips to Japan. I can't even imagine how it'll feel after several years!! :eek:

At any rate, I wouldn't be surprise if you struggle at first and that it'll take a while to readjust. You should also keep in mind that the culture shock may not necessarily be a bad thing. Maybe you'll miss the convenience and people of Tokyo, but you might also appreciate that your new home isn't as hectic and crowded.
 
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When I went back after 2 years of living in Japan I did have some culture shock. In the US when work is done you just go home. My first job coming back I just sat at my desk when my shift was up and it felt weird to just get up and leave. I said to my boss my shift is up and he just looked at me and said "yeah...see you tomorrow." I just stood there for a moment like a weirdo. The next day I told him what it was like working in Japan and he laughed and told me I'm free to go home without checking in with him.

Social interactions took a little bit to get back into. Driving didn't take too long.

I was only away for 2 years and felt the reverse culture shock though not strong as if I had stayed a decade or longer.
 
The first time I went back home I experiences culture shock, I was so used to speaking Japanese I kept "Sumimasen"ing at people, I've visited home a few times now and beyond knowing without a doubt I'll never move back it's less of a "shock" and more of an "Oh yeah... Yeah that's how things are here" and a reminder as to why I don't want to go back.

Although the real shock last visit was prices, for everything, they have been going up and up more back home it's actually cheaper to live in Japan now.
 
The first time I went back home I experiences culture shock, I was so used to speaking Japanese I kept "Sumimasen"ing at people, I've visited home a few times now and beyond knowing without a doubt I'll never move back it's less of a "shock" and more of an "Oh yeah... Yeah that's how things are here" and a reminder as to why I don't want to go back.

Although the real shock last visit was prices, for everything, they have been going up and up more back home it's actually cheaper to live in Japan now.


This is an excellent point - i will miss my hamburger lunch betos from donqi hotei ! 400jpy or so !
 
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I just got back from a 3-week Europe trip and had a hard time enjoying the second half of my time there because I missed Japan too much. As much as I want to move to another country sometimes, every time that I leave Tokyo for longer than a week, I always want to come back right away. :notworthy:
 
Tokyo is just a really convenient place to live, Japan in general just kind of is. Even if there are complications, annoyances, hardships here, there is a level of convenience here that's hard to find anywhere else. Trains, Buses, Taxies that even if you don't speak the language of the land are all pretty easy to navigate with google, a map and a whole lot of gesturing at the ticket gate, there are drink machines with fairly priced beverages (Not like where I'm from where you can buy a case of bottled water in a store for $1 but pay $3 if you get a single bottle from a machine) convenience stores that are actually pretty darn convenient, and a sense of being able to do a lot of stuff anytime you like. I've been here long enough for my honeymoon phase of Japan to be long over but I still love it for the smaller simple things that I know will never be replicated back in my home country, and so I can see why it's hard to go back and honestly unless I had something really big and important to go back to, I really wouldn't.

(I mean I dream of having a B&B in my home country but as housing prices go up that's turning into a pipe dream so I might start one here in Japan)
 
I left and came back once. I am a very urban person but enjoy getting into nature....so Tokyo is a very good fit. I love the organized chaos. I love the convenience - especially how easy it is to find good food at a good price. The thought of moving elsewhere, makes me uncomfortable ...... maybe If I did it would be somewhere remote with a lakeside house and great natural environment. The final phase of my life maybe :). Other "normal" cities don't turn me on the way Tokyo does...and aren't as inclusive as Tokyo.
 
I had a pretty hard time adjusting back to my home country after having spent four years in Japan. Found the service to be horrible, people to be disorganised and lazy, things just generally messy and so on. Everything bothered me :grumpy: But I somehow got used to it all after a few months, it just became the new normal again I guess... Now when I go back to Tokyo for visits I can't help but to sometimes giggle at all the overly formal behaviour from service staff, little signs everywhere for everything and all those other little things that make Japan Japan. I really do miss it all to be honest. The combinis, always something going on, the fashion, the culture, the food... So I keep coming back :woot: But anyway something that would have made the process easier for me would definitely have been to focus more on the positives of my new home, not the negatives so much. Sorry for maybe being captain obvious here, but it might be a good thing to keep in mind, at least if you often end up in negative thought spirals as I do :sorry:
 
Thats great advice, thanks. I will now proceed to list the things I will definitely miss and will take time adjusting too.

1. Not needing a car ( this is no. 1 for me driving is just such a pain the trains are a place to chill out / people watch and even drink if thats what blows your hair back).
Plus I cycle everywhere.
2. Convenience stores within walking distance (enough said)
3. People dressing well and taking upmost pride in what they do (for the most part)
4. Friendly and cheerful women (if you know where to look)
5. Having so much to do (just look on facebook events)
6. Free samples of stuff everywhere (supermarkets and the red bull chicks for example)
7. Cheap Izakaya / street food (full and drunk for 2000jpy elsewhere good luck)
8. Flea markets (actually a great place for meeting women as so easy to start conversation)
9. Going into a bookstore and browsing till your hearts content (maybe other countries like this not sure)
10. Paying for everything with cash or a Suica.
11. Smoking everywhere.
12. Drug stores that sell food and booze.

Tons of other things - open to suggestions TAG gang !
 
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Interesting topic and comments. I wonder how many have gone back, readjusted and decided never to come back here.