So, I booked Yuria of Asian Mystique a week ago, for today at 4PM. At 2AM this morning I received an email informing me Yuria had started her period. I didn't see the email until 10AM, when I woke up. As alternatives, I was offered Lili, Sora, Nana, or Tsukina. The usual suspects, all the popular girls (like Anna) being already booked up for the day. Fine, Sora...again. An hour later, I got another email. Sora, despite being on the day's schedule, was sick. OK, how about Lili...again? An hour later, Lili, despite being on the day's schedule, had another commitment. Do I have an STD?! "Please let us know if we can set something else up for you." They were apologetic and decent about it, but despite being a regular customer this is happening more and more often recently. Last time around, it was Natsuki who cancelled at the last minute. Not so much bait-and-switch as put the candy in the window, then take it off the shelf. Time to try out the competition. I've had my eye on Hipness for some time. Mixed reviews hereabouts, seems a bit hit and miss in the FS department, but I've read good things about Erika and fortunately she was available. So I scooted down to Uguisudani. Not my usual haunt, so I had no idea about love hotels. I spent half-an-hour wandering around in the wrong direction on the hottest afternoon of the year so far, iPad in hand, turning it this way and that. A word of warning about the love hotel map on the Hipness website. It's either backwards or upside down! Finally, with a triumphant cry of "Yata!" I found McDonald's....ten metres from the North Exit! OK guys, that's NORTH! With a landmark to triangulate from, I located the correct crossing and honed in on Hotel Asian P Door (quite) like a bloody orienteering guru! 3-hours, 4,200¥. Good value for Sunday. The room was a little small, but it had a bed, a loo, and a shower! I made full use of all three before Erika arrived. When she did, I signed my life away, paid 19,000¥ for 2-hours/3-plays, and was lead back into the shower! Now, you guys know me. I've been posting hereabouts for years. Whenever I try a new girl, I share, coz I'm nice like that, y'know. I'm also honest, though some may say a hard taskmaster. But it's my money and it's hard-earned. I expect to get what I pay for, and whether I do or I don't, I post an honest review. So, brace yourselves, Erika-lovers and false economists... No way is Erika 23. Closer to 30, I'd say. She is very pretty, as a peach, her hair - jet-black and long, self-styled with a Cleopatra fringe - perfectly framing her face. Her breasts, smaller than expected, are firm, but I couldn't get near her nipples as she kept saying she was over sensitive there. So forget that. Her skin is smooth but far from flawless, with cellulite around her bottom and blotches of darker skin on her legs, especially her knees. She is clean-shaven below, but, like her hair, this is also self-styled and not a Brazilian. DATY, something I love, was damn difficult to perform due to her constant gyrations either to keep me out or get herself in the right place. Probably the former, because, despite my best intentions, finding her clitoris was like picking up a garden pea with chopsticks! As for her G-spot, I never even got a finger inside. FS was fine with Erika. I enjoyed MS and DS. Her facing cowgirl was the highlight. Her BBBJ technique was top notch too, with lots of hungry eye contact, but that was finished with a hand-job, so no CIM. I'm sorry, guys, if all of this dampens your squibs. Having read so many glowing reviews, I expected something maybe a little bit special. But Erika was just bog-standard been-there-done-that didn't repeat. Throughout the date, she was, well, maybe she was trying so hard to turn me on that she ended up turning me off, y'know what I mean? She was too earthy, too brassy, too pornographic, too sexually simplistic for my tastes. Not scripted, exactly. Not by-the-numbers, exactly. But a hell-of-a-long-way from GFE. And no kissing at all! She even turned her head away when we said goodbye at the hotel room door. Still, you gets what you pays for. Cheap and cheerful. 5/10. Been-there-done-that won't repeat. Happy punting!