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Seekingarrangement - Vigorous Ranting And Perhaps Some Useful Information

vargas

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TLDR: SeekingArrangement is a cesspit, mostly spammers and professionals. Be prepared for a few months of shoveling shit, but it does work.

A few months ago I began searching for a new sugar babe and rejoined SA after several years absence. There aren't that many female members in Tokyo to begin with, but I was surprised to see so many familiar faces.

I didn't conduct a scientific study but would guess more than 50% are professional or amateur prostitutes. A good percentage of the ones who aren't look nothing like their pictures, and quite a few have emotional or mental problems.

Searching for women who are either students or have full-time jobs is an excellent filter for many of those problems, as is sorting by join date.

Unfortunately SA is full of Chinese scammers constantly creating new accounts to lure men into chat apps that require buying credits. However they aren't particularly intelligent and generally use Chinese names.

A few genuine unicorns do sign up, maybe one per week, and I assume they must get some pretty terrible behavior from the male members because they delete their accounts very quickly.

Once you've established communication and done some basic screening I recommend making the first meeting a brief coffee or drink and having a good excuse to leave. That prevents wasting anyone's time, particularly yours if they flake, look nothing like their photos, or are completely dishonest.

Anyway it is a massive hassle and time sink, but there are some attractive young women who genuinely like successful older men and are not just looking to be paid for sex.
 
I did a month of SA fairly recently, but this was stateside. I've talked with a few girls in Japan for when I'm back, but yeah there's not a ton of selection in JP. I've had a SA account for years, but never bought an account until recently, but there was this stunning Vietnamese girl that I had to take a shot at.

There's a ton of scammers or otherwise fake profiles even in the states. Tip: super-hot women aren't going to aggressively message you out of the blue for a date. They get way too much attention as it is. Use Google Image Search before meeting someone in person.

I set up 4 meet and greets and actually met 2 of the girls-

- First one was probably even hotter than her pictures, but lived wayyyyy too far away and wanted too much money to meet up. I'm still somewhat considering starting things up with her.

- Second one wasn't as attractive as her pictures and we didn't get along well with each other at all.

- Third one wanted to upgrade from meeting for coffee to having dinner and when I asked her what she liked, she said 'sushi', and I'm not 'nah, this isn't going to work for me'.

- Fourth one texted me a few days before we were supposed to meet for coffee to ask if I'd buy some charity tickets for her kid's school. Cancelled on her, too.

Kinda seems like some of the women throw some 'shit tests' at guys to find out what their budget actually is. If I really wanted to meet one of them, I could have probably dealt with their passive-aggressiveness, but it's just not worth it. The Vietnamese girl and I talked a few times, but ultimately she wasn't interested.
 
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I was actually quite surprised, some of the better girls I've talked to messaged me first. Definitely not super hot ones though, just average Japanese girls whose profile I passed up for one reason or another ;-)

Unlike traditional dating sites the girls on SA seem to really read and respond to what you write in your profile.

Think I've been really lucky to filter the crazies out prior to meeting, and haven't had any shit tests or requests for money. Definitely flakes and lack of attraction or connection though. And one girl who was so pitiful I took her out for an unplanned dinner just because I felt sorry for her :'-(
 
Oh, sorry, there was a 5th meet and greet in there where the woman never showed up. Thankfully we were meeting at a coffee shop a few blocks from where I needed to be that evening, so it wasn't a total loss. She wasn't super-apologetic, and I didn't offer to meet with her again.
 
I pretty much agree with all of the above re SA sugaring in Tokyo but am somewhat more upbeat/positive about the fraction of contacts that turn out to be well worth meeting/seeing. This my be partly because I am a glass 90% full sort of person. It may also be partly because I do not have much of a list of "deal breakers"; in other words, I am interested in meeting and spending time with a wide variety of women in many possible sorts of arrangements...and don't go in with any very specific goals beyond having a good and interesting time. And it could also be because I have learned to filter better and better over the now almost 10 years that I have been using SA.

At present I can connect with more interesting SBs via SA than I have time, energy or money to pursue. There was a time when I felt that I needed UC as a primary source of SBs because the Tokyo SA population was too small, but that is no longer true. UC takes less time but is quite a bit more expensive, and there are things about the UC system I like less than the SA system.

-Ww
 
To be honest I signed up because I was looking for a papa situation. So no sex for me just companionship...SA is probs not the best for that Id think so I went to Japanese apps.
Theotically SA should work for that but practically it probably doesn't very well. As for Japan there are a lot of business travellers using it for one time appointments. I met some locals but nothing that worked out for the long run. I found that guys are generally interested in sexual relationships and if they only want dinner or coffee for a first meet they dont seem to be willing to give any conpensation (unlike UC for example where guys have to give the girl 10.000 compensation for a dinner at least).
Did the Japanese sites work out for you?
 
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Theotically SA should work for that but practically it probably doesn't very well. As for Japan there are a lot of business travellers using it for one time appointments. I met some locals but nothing that worked out for the long run. I found that guys are generally interested in sexual relationships and if they only want dinner or coffee for a first meet they dont seem to be willing to give any conpensation (unlike UC for example where guys have to give the girl 10.000 compensation for a dinner at least).
Did the Japanese sites work out for you?
I found a papa that I had for 3yrs so yes haha. And no sex just shopping dinner and dates
 
Arguably, sugar babies are always at least amateur prostitutes.

Certainly arguable and we could quibble over terms but I'd define sugar dating as a separation of payment from activities which puts it somewhere between prostitution and standard relationships. Gifts, monetary or otherwise, are a substitute for commitment, not payment for services rendered. I wouldn't consider paying per-meeting to be sugar dating, regardless of whether sex was involved or not.
 
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To wrap things up, my SA membership has expired and I won't be renewing or even logging in anymore as it's just not worth my time.

The main problem is that only one or two new girls join per week and most delete their accounts very quickly. Perhaps some find a match right away but I suspect many have experiences like @patty diaz describes above and find it not worth the trouble.

I failed to find what I was looking for, i.e. a sugar babe looking for a genuine relationship that substitutes gifts for commitment. But I did meet some very pleasant young women willing to trade sex for gifts, and a few open to casual dating without any expectations at all.

And yes, I can imagine more than a few of you saying "free sex?! What the hell is the problem then?" to which I'll reply that nothing is free and the whole point of sugar dating for me is avoiding commitment.
 
I spent two months on SA just prior to Obon. My experience was similar to others. Met 6 actual non-pros, most of whom wanted an expensive meal and/or tuition assistance in exchange for their companionship. The ugliest of the bunch promised sex on the next date but then, of course, vanished.

Compare that to 3 evenings at Rigoletto during Obon week. 5 Line connections and still dating them all. All much better looking and nicer girls overall than any of the normal girls on SA.

Enough said.
 
Met 6 actual non-pros, ...

Ime, there are pros on SA who are looking for arrangements VERY different from those they have with their escort (conventional p4p) clients. These can be extremely rewarding for an SD. In other words, it seems to me a serious (and revealing) blunder to automatically discard any pro on SA as uninteresting from a sugary perspective.

-Ww
 
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Compare that to 3 evenings at Rigoletto during Obon week. 5 Line connections and still dating them all. All much better looking and nicer girls overall than any of the normal girls on SA.

Yeah I also joined SA expecting the girls to be more attractive than average and found that not to be the case at all.
 
It will soon be ten years since I joined SA, and although I could find much to complain about too (including some of those issues voiced above by @vargas and @daneyboy ), I'm overall very happy with my SA experiences. I seem to have exceptionally broad and inclusive tastes in partners, experiences and arrangements/situations compared to most people, to the extent which I can judge, and imo one of the best things about SA is the truly incredible diversity of the women you can meet through their service. I am pretty well convinced that you can find the type(s) of sugar partner(s) you seek if you have patience and perseverance. It of course helps a lot if you can learn to better recognize them (from their profiles) and figure out how to attract their attention and interest effectively. But it is surely a time consuming process, and unless you enjoy investigating possible sugar connections for the little mini-adventures involved whether or not they ever turn into anything more (as I do), I can see how it would be more frustrating than rewarding.

I'd add that if you find the women you meet via SA to be mostly rather similar, it does not mean that the women on SA are nearly all similar to each other (they most definitely are *not*), it just means that the ones who attract your interest and whose interest you attract are relatively similar to each other.

-Ww
 
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But it is surely a time consuming process, and unless you enjoy investigating possible sugar connections for the little mini-adventures involved whether or not they ever turn into anything more (as I do), I can see how it would be more frustrating than rewarding.

Absolutely, this is the crux of the issue. I have a strong suspicion you're a lot more open minded and easy going than I am ;-) Regardless of the method of introduction I meet relatively few people whose company I genuinely enjoy and for the rest it's just a burden to wine and dine them.

That said for some reason I do find better matches via traditional methods such as Tinder ;-)
 
Ime, there are pros on SA who are looking for arrangements VERY different from those they have with their escort (conventional p4p) clients. These can be extremely rewarding for an SD. In other words, it seems to me a serious (and revealing) blunder to automatically discard any pro on SA as uninteresting from a sugary perspective.

-Ww
I agree. But from an efficiency perspective that may be easier done in person at Oak Door. R2, or a few of the Ginza クラブ where the better looking ones hang out and are easily approachable. I've found that once they know you're local and you hit it off, the relationship can go in a variety of interesting directions.
 
...Compare that to 3 evenings at Rigoletto during Obon week. 5 Line connections and still dating them all. All much better looking and nicer girls overall than any of the normal girls on SA....
If you compare regular bars to SA, SA is always going to be the more expensive route, by far. The reason I use SA and the situation I think it works best for is when you like dating women who are 25-30 years younger than you are and you aren't fluent in Japanese. For this demographic, SA crushed going out to the bars, in my experience
 
It isn't clear from this thread what any potential SDs feel the time and attention of a potential sugar baby is worth... They seem upset that she want to be taken to a nice dinner for 2 or 3 hours of her time... It isn't really clear why the SDs here (And honestly the SDs on any site) are on SA instead of a normal dating site. In my experience they often seem to want to be able to communicate poorly, be entitled, short tempered, and expect sex without any consideration for my time...

Except WWanderr. He sounds pretty awesome!
 
[QUOTE="Helena West, post: 96777, member: 16358 In my experience they often seem to want to be able to communicate poorly, be entitled, short tempered, and expect sex without any consideration for my time...

I wonder why that is? Maybe just bad luck.......yea, that's it. Just bad luck on your part.
 
It isn't clear from this thread what any potential SDs feel the time and attention of a potential sugar baby is worth... They seem upset that she want to be taken to a nice dinner for 2 or 3 hours of her time... It isn't really clear why the SDs here (And honestly the SDs on any site) are on SA instead of a normal dating site. In my experience they often seem to want to be able to communicate poorly, be entitled, short tempered, and expect sex without any consideration for my time...

Except WWanderr. He sounds pretty awesome!
There are a lot of people out there, all looking for something different. It can take time and be frustrating but sometimes you find a good match.
 
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