Sensitive question?

[BB0523]

I know I am late to this discussion, but I'll kick in my 2 cents... If that's ok...

Alice,
Your question is a reasonable one and most of the comments by the above people are accurate. What I wanted to say in addition to this, some guys are Pussies... they can't say what they want because they don't know or don't have the balls, or need their ego stroked so much it becomes too much of a laborious task for the woman (you)... I know I may get flamed for saying this, but who cares.

I'm not an expert in SB/SD realm... but have had a few experiences and I can tell you that each one has had it's learning curve. It all comes down to direct communication, as WW says..
As long as it's not rude, manipulative, or otherwise negative aspect, it should be ok and if it's not, then you have just screened the potential SD as a waste of time.

I've tried to set up SB arrangements with girls in the past (where we both enjoyed each other's company) only to be told, they don't want it, to that's creepy, or even, how dare me to insult them (even it was P4P meeting).... These were Japanese girls, so maybe I was "culturally" insensitive, but I've been living in Japan several years and coming to Japan for over 10 years..

If possible, when working these arrangements out with your potential SD, try to do it using an app in chat or some other written form... This way you have it documented and can refer to it later.
If the arrangement is agreeable to both and you want the dependability on the finances, then you request your allowance when you set the time and date - I know it may seem too business like, but most SD will understand, especially if it's not a monthly allowance.

Also, what may be happening is that some guys think they are soo good that you should be paying them... LOL, I know it sounds rather odd, but I've heard of that as well, which could be why the person wanted a lower amount, or bought you an expensive gift instead of the allowance - (that was stupid IMO) gifts are just that... gifts... cash is for day to day living and saving.... Duh...

Well, that's my 2 cents and hope it helps... I'm sure I haven't said anything you don't already know, but sometimes it's good to hear again or from another person.

Just a curiosity question... Have you ever had a client where you thought it would be good to have a SD/SB arrangement and approach that topic ? Like, I had a really good time, we should make this a regular meeting.... then discuss the details ?

Thanks and good luck... Happy New Year...

 

[User#8628]

I know I am late to this discussion, but I'll kick in my 2 cents... If that's ok...

Alice,
Your question is a reasonable one and most of the comments by the above people are accurate. What I wanted to say in addition to this, some guys are Pussies... they can't say what they want because they don't know or don't have the balls, or need their ego stroked so much it becomes too much of a laborious task for the woman (you)... I know I may get flamed for saying this, but who cares.

I'm not an expert in SB/SD realm... but have had a few experiences and I can tell you that each one has had it's learning curve. It all comes down to direct communication, as WW says..
As long as it's not rude, manipulative, or otherwise negative aspect, it should be ok and if it's not, then you have just screened the potential SD as a waste of time.

I've tried to set up SB arrangements with girls in the past (where we both enjoyed each other's company) only to be told, they don't want it, to that's creepy, or even, how dare me to insult them (even it was P4P meeting).... These were Japanese girls, so maybe I was "culturally" insensitive, but I've been living in Japan several years and coming to Japan for over 10 years..

If possible, when working these arrangements out with your potential SD, try to do it using an app in chat or some other written form... This way you have it documented and can refer to it later.
If the arrangement is agreeable to both and you want the dependability on the finances, then you request your allowance when you set the time and date - I know it may seem too business like, but most SD will understand, especially if it's not a monthly allowance.

Also, what may be happening is that some guys think they are soo good that you should be paying them... LOL, I know it sounds rather odd, but I've heard of that as well, which could be why the person wanted a lower amount, or bought you an expensive gift instead of the allowance - (that was stupid IMO) gifts are just that... gifts... cash is for day to day living and saving.... Duh...

Well, that's my 2 cents and hope it helps... I'm sure I haven't said anything you don't already know, but sometimes it's good to hear again or from another person.

Just a curiosity question... Have you ever had a client where you thought it would be good to have a SD/SB arrangement and approach that topic ? Like, I had a really good time, we should make this a regular meeting.... then discuss the details ?

Thanks and good luck... Happy New Year...

Thank you for your comment, it makes a lot of sense to me.

I think its a bit rude (though some guys are very flattered) to suggest we should meet again and make it a regular thing, since they are the ones paying. Of course i often say i would like to meet again if ever possible after i have had a good time with someone. However i would be shy to suggest someone should see me regulary. I've never said it after a first time but if i meet someone a few times and i know they come to tokyo regulary or live here and regulary have time to see me, and i know they like me and are good enough off financially for me not to worry about their situation, then i would probably talk about making some kind of arrangements with them.

 

[BB0523]

Thank you for your answer and perspective... it means a lot to me.....

 

[stringen]

Late advisor here hope it's okay. I'm fairly new to the business. Having only tried p4p once. Right now I'm discussing with an IND about a future sd/sb commitment. All cards on the table not leaving anything behind in my case. For me it's like when I talk to a provider I'm in their shop and therefore their rules. Costumer service is very important but you set the rules. Be clear, with a smile, because you're the ruler.

Going around thinking about hurting peoples feeling if you ask them this or that is not good for you. I've built my own empire around my persona. I do anything for my costumers but I'm always clear about the rules in my store. No uncertainty ever. I know we work in different worlds but still costumer service is the most important for both of us.

Not sure this is of any help