Sex Training?

Are you sure you genuinely would like to give her orgasms or what you’re looking for is the gratification you get from being able to make someone climax?

Fair question and to be honest, I don't know 100% as I could be measuring myself by how well I perform. It definitely makes me feel like more of a man when a woman is sexually satisfied... I think that's probably pretty common among men to want to have that ability. So I'd be lying if I said there was nothing in it for me (or my ego) whatsoever. That would especially be the case if I'm out hooking up with random women just having fun. I do agree that being with someone full time, with a lot of communication makes things much, much better.

However, I do really like the idea of being talented enough to be able to GIVE real pleasure to a woman and at least have her stoked. After just going through a tough marriage, the last thing on my mind is committing to a woman again or falling in love. And I know a lot of people say that marriage is a stupid idea anymore and I tend to agree with that, at least from a legal/contractual point of view. It makes sense to do it if you are going to raise children together, other than that, I don't get it.

While having sex with someone I'm totally in love with would be idea, and I would like to think that the idea of love still exists, I am not so sure it does. What I see are people who go through the exciting stage to the content stage to the bored stage to the resentful stage to the apathy stage. Sure, there are some old couples here and there that are still married and in love after 50 years but I think that's very rare these days. I've also seen so many dudes think they are in love and get taken to the cleaners or their hearts broken so refusing to fall in love seems like the right game to play...

I'm just rambling now. I guess I don't know what I want long term, I just know I want the next 20 years to be completely opposite from the previous 20.
 
Hey Merica, I hope you find what you looking for.I was in a very similar situation , I got married at an early age , my first wife was Colombian she was HOT , but sex was subpar, sex was only an obligation for her. After 5 years we got divorced and I moved to Japan, best decision of my life , just like you, I felt like a God , at first I thought it was because I'm a foreigner then I realized that now I was a different man confident, experienced and FREE.
During one of my adventures I met my wife, her sex appetite was insatiable. We've done threesome's, Cockhold, BONDAGE,sexin a elevator, family restaurant, Karaoke you name it. Who would thought I had to travel across the globe to find my sex freaky soulmate. My advice to you EXPERIMENT, be sincere and open in your next relationship. You are a free man now. And don't trust P4P for feedback. As my dad always told me PRACTICE makes PERFECT. CHEERS

Thanks for the advice man, and congratulations on your relationship!
 
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Hey everyone, this is my first post here so I apologize if I’m in the wrong spot or whatever. I’ve been reading a lot on this board and this seems like a really cool community. I love how there are escorts on the board participating in the forums.

Since it’s my first post I’ll introduce myself a bit so you know I’m not some bot. I’m an American in my 40’s who recently got divorced and after years of lame or no sex, came to Japan a few weeks ago and fell in love with the country, and its women. I had about 4 seasons of P4P, all of which I thoroughly enjoyed, including my first threesome. Great times, the Japanese women were super fun and easy going and liked to please me which was appreciated!

I also had an actual date (not P4P) with a women I met when I was there. I don’t speak the language and we were using Google Translate and I brought her back to my room for some fun. So after feeling like a fucking loser in my miserable marriage, I felt like a god in Japan! Really helped my confidence and I felt like I could get back in the game.

Anyway, I’m back home and am seriously considering moving to Japan in the next 3-5 years providing I can sell my company and cash out/retire. I’ll probably have a lot of questions about that too. But that’s for another day.

Here’s the reason for this post: I want to get better at sex.

The next time I’m in Japan, I plan to get coaching from the guy on the board here (Senpai?) on how to pick up women. I’ve read some stuff already. Great shit and I plan to get mentoring on that.

But I also want a sex trainer. I’m not BAD at sex but I think I’m just okay. Especially after having a cold fish as a wife, I’m not where I should be at my age. I mean, I’m freaky and am up for anything if she is and usually try making it exciting. I can go a few rounds in a session and don’t bust a nut in seconds, so I’m not terrible.

But I want to be AMAZING at sex. I want to know how to turn a woman on and give her mind blowing, earth shattering, quivering, squirting, shaking, orgasms that leave her wondering what the fuck just happened. I want to rock worlds.

I’m obviously willing to pay for these lessons. The problem I’ve had so far with escorts is that they always pretend to enjoy it. Sometimes it seems like they really are, sometimes I can tell they are playing it up.

I want one (or several ideally for variety) who can give me HONEST feedback. If I’m not eating her pussy right, I want to know and have her show me how to get better. If I’m not fucking her good, I want to know what I can do better. I want to get to the point where I know what I’m doing and can make women melt. I know I can go to any escort for “practice” but I want TRAINING.

I’m man enough to admit that I could get a lot better at sex and want to train to be a great lover. My question is “Is this specific service available?” Is this something that’s typically done in Japan and how would I go about finding it?

Sorry for the long first post. I’m absolutely serious about this topic and I hope you guys will go easy on a newcomer who is trying to change his life after a really shitty marriage.

Thanks Y’all
Merica

It seems to me that you are serious about taking up a new challenge in your life. I wish you all the best. As others have pointed out, living in Japan is not that easy even if you are fluent in Japanese. Since you are pretty much experienced with your business and personal life in the US, it may be very stressful for you not to be accepted/identified as you like to be by Japanese. Maybe you are thinking about creating a new identity in Japan, hiding all your past, but for it to be successful, at least you need to be a bit fluent in Japanese.

If you are good at relaxing yourself and your partner in bed, I think you are already amazing at sex.
 
I try and not bring humor into these topics (yeah right) but what I read sometimes makes me........think about the past. Not my past mind you :p The girls on here say it best. Communication is the bottom line.

Take this from the 8:00 mark and you'll see what I mean.

 
I try and not bring humor into these topics (yeah right) but what I read sometimes makes me........think about the past. Not my past mind you :p The girls on here say it best. Communication is the bottom line.

Take this from the 8:00 mark and you'll see what I mean.



Absolutely terrific bit! God bless Sam Kinison.
I agree. Balls-to-the-wall honest communication with your lover is key.
 
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Ha ha ha! Nice on the Sam Kinnison video.

Thanks guys for all of your advice. I appreciate the honest talk. I’m generally a pretty laid back guy but I think I have some anxiety around sex and pleasing women based on the failure of my marriage. Before getting married, I had a pretty healthy sex life with women. I probably married the wrong woman and I didn’t see red flags sooner.

I got married pretty young though after my girl got pregnant. It was pretty much downhill from there. I think it’s fairly common for this to happen if both parties don’t work super hard at it.

In fact, I heard it’s pretty common for this to happen in Japan. Two people get married and after a kid or two or 10 years of marriage, sex basically ends. It’s common for both partners to seek sex outside the marriage and they are both okay with it.

Can anyone attest to this? Is this part of the culture in Japan and common? I know this could happen anywhere but I’ve heard (and read) that specifically Japan is like this more than most other developed countries.

I’d imagine this particular TAG group is probably not all that usual compared to average people so maybe you guys have better (or more sexually satisfying) relationships. But I’d like to know if this is what happens typically in marriages in Japan.

TIA,
Merica
 
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Ha ha ha! Nice on the Sam Kinnison video.

Thanks guys for all of your advice. I appreciate the honest talk. I’m generally a pretty laid back guy but I think I have some anxiety around sex and pleasing women based on the failure of my marriage. Before getting married, I had a pretty healthy sex life with women. I probably married the wrong woman and I didn’t see red flags sooner.

I got married pretty young though after my girl got pregnant. It was pretty much downhill from there. I think it’s fairly common for this to happen if both parties don’t work super hard at it.

In fact, I heard it’s pretty common for this to happen in Japan. Two people get married and after a kid or two or 10 years of marriage, sex basically ends. It’s common for both partners to seek sex outside the marriage and they are both okay with it.

Can anyone attest to this? Is this part of the culture in Japan and common? I know this could happen anywhere but I’ve heard (and read) that specifically Japan is like this more than most other developed countries.

I’d imagine this particular TAG group is probably not all that usual compared to average people so maybe you guys have better (or more sexually satisfying) relationships. But I’d like to know if this is what happens typically in marriages in Japan.

TIA,
Merica

I'm happily married to a Japanese woman, I think you have to find someone that sexually matches you. Trust me any marriage will fall apart if both parties don't work hard at it. It doesn't matter if your partner is American, Japanese, Russian , Martian or a Donkey.
 
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I'm happily married to a Japanese woman, I think you have to find someone that sexually matches you. Trust me any marriage will fall apart if both parties don't work hard at it. It doesn't matter if your partner is American, Japanese, Russian , Martian or a Donkey.

Martian? Donkey? Sounds like something Frenchy might have experience with...?
 
While I personally don’t mind showing someone inexperienced/virgin a bit the ropes of sex, I think it’s a far stretch to compare that to a sex lesson or anything similar. I’d also like to mention that every woman is different. What may blow away one might be super boring for the other one or the other way around.
Sex is a lot about communication with each other and even tho it might be embarrassing for a lot; it’s always good to ask what feels good or what she doesn’t like.

Totally agree with Anna. There's no being-generally-great-in-bed-period. If having good sex can be taught in classes, everyone would do it and everyone would have great sex all the time. You can apply yourself to become a good lover to one partner, provided the chemistry is there and they guide you well and you follow their lead. And when you meet a new partner, some of what you previously learned might apply but mostly it's starting from scratch again. I really doubt there's a template out there that's a sure fire thing that will enable you to make any woman have earth shattering orgasms (also, orgasms are not the be all and end all to all women and not all women do in fact have orgasms, so better state your expectations clearly at the start). Any mentoring can only be of a general kind, and more about how to be a better student rather than how to be better lover, and if there is one thing I learned myself about having sex is that having preconceived notions of what should work and how, as in having a routine or technique, can be counterproductive to the endeavor.
 
... having said that, generally speaking (and there are exceptions of course) its better to take care of the clit orally, then with one or two fingers inserted stimulating the g-spot , and massage the area under the belly button with the other hand.
Then you can insert your P in the V and fantasize that your great size and pumping technique is all that matters
Correction to what I just wrote: last date we just fucked first because that’s what needed to be done . I guess it’s a Mercury retrograde / Sun in Scorpio thing :D
 
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... having said that, generally speaking (and there are exceptions of course) its better to take care of the clit orally, then with one or two fingers inserted stimulating the g-spot , and massage the area under the belly button with the other hand.

Wait, so what is this.....clit did you say?


J/K :p At least I don’t need training that bad.

I’m kind of surprised by the women’s answers to be honest. I mean, it makes sense that all women are different and they are much more emotional/mental than physical.

But Frenchy what you say sounds like something any woman should theoretically like (if she’s comfortable and in a good mood) It’s like saying “give the dude a blowjob”.

I guess we could start another topic called “what really gets you off when you are really comfortable with someone”? That in itself might be interesting... :cool:
 
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To clarify, I’m not surprised by the women’s answers in a bad way. I guess I just didn’t realize how important it was for them to feel extremely comfortable and safe with the partner and how critical good communication was to having good sex. That was a bit unexpected but I totally get it and will pay more attention to this.
 
To clarify, I’m not surprised by the women’s answers in a bad way. I guess I just didn’t realize how important it was for them to feel extremely comfortable and safe with the partner and how critical good communication was to having good sex. That was a bit unexpected but I totally get it and will pay more attention to this.

No , they’re right (ladies are always right anyway:)), it really depends on the persons and the situations. I just described what in my (modest) experience worked best in most cases. But I had a GF who LOVED to give BJs (it was borderline pathological in her case but I won’t complain) and did NOT enjoy cunni that much. So go figure...
 
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No , they’re right (ladies are always right anyway:)), it really depends on the persons and the situations. I just described what in my (modest) experience worked best in most cases. But I had a GF who LOVED to give BJs (it was borderline pathological in her case but I won’t complain) and did NOT enjoy cunni that much. So go figure...

Wow, never heard that one before! Since she was your GF, I assume she felt safe with you. Do you think it’s because she didn’t feel comfortable with herself to give cunni to her? Did you guys talk about it or did you just try to do more of what she told you she liked?
 
Wow, never heard that one before! Since she was your GF, I assume she felt safe with you. Do you think it’s because she didn’t feel comfortable with herself to give cunni to her? Did you guys talk about it or did you just try to do more of what she told you she liked?
Lets be crude : 1 st round she liked to suck me dry, usually in the most silly places (in front of the fridge door opened for instance) Then 2nd round she usually masturbated then wanted my small appendage inside her without further ado because apparently it hit the right spot. But she was special.... And so am I :)
 
I did mention this in one of my earlier posts here... :) I wasn't lying to you.

Yes and I agree totally. Kind of goes against my post-divorce “not wanting any commitment of any kind” thing I’m trying to do for a while.

Maybe I should look for more of a long term FWB relationship where there is more time to connect but without the complications of a relationship.
 
Maybe I should look for more of a long term FWB relationship where there is more time to connect but without the complications of a relationship.

Well, it's a relationship too. :p

Though many people use the term FWB when they just mean a fuck buddy. At least for me FWB means friends firsts and then benefits second.

The problem with getting a fuck buddy as a male is you first need to turn gay. Then it's way easier. :D
 
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