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Should I be texting her back?

R

rick

hmm
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I met a girl around the start of this year (she was working as a waitress at a cafe) and we've been texting since - for the first week it was pretty hot so I asked her out. She gave some vague affirmative answer (if we could, that would be great! - that kind of thing) but when I offered a time and place she ignored me and changed the subject.

Okay, maybe it was too early for her, she wants to get to know me better over text. I give it another week and ask her out again. She's busy with work now but wants to hang out later this year in spring, she says. That's pretty much a load of crap, so I wrap things up nicely, tell her good night and leave it at that.

Silence for a few days, then she hits me up on Snapchat and starts snapping me and messaging me like crazy. I mean looking at my phone with twenty messages from her kind of crazy. I'm lukewarm about it, I mean, we can text forever but not meet, what's the point in that? I give her a couple of pandering responses, we chat for a bit. She starts mushi-ing me in the middle of conversations and leaves my messages read for two or three days, then another barrage of messages and snaps.

Should I even bother at this point? I'm still texting her because she's hot, but I'm getting nowhere with her behaviour. My last message was ignored again and I'm just waiting for my phone to blow up randomly in the morning, afternoon or even 3am. Girl has me wondering what's up with her.
 
Seems like she's looking at you as a text friend. Some Japanese do this when they are bored with little intention of meeting. Perhaps you may get lucky and get her out but don't rely on her.
 
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Hard to say what she's thinking, but thankfully you have photos of her to examine. If you were to share them with the TAG team here, we can analyse them and come up with a personality profile that will hopefully help answer why she behaves the way she does.
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Obviously kidding!!

On a more serious note, I've personally never experienced it but it kind of sounds like a typical texting friend: she enjoys the interaction or attention you give her through text but isn't interesting in pursuing it any further than that. She did say she is currently busy with work and does eventually want to meet with you, but than can easily just be an excuse as well.

If you think she's being honest with that reason, then I would hold off doing anything to take things to the next level until she's ready. But if you wish to pursue it, you would just need to be more upfront with your intention/desire to date her. If she rejects you or continues to ignore or change the subject, you know where things stand. From there you can just simply ignore her messages to end things, or just enjoy the ride for what it is until the both of you get bored with the whole thing.
 
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I'd put it into to the same category as buying a lottery ticket. I do so if I have extra money in my pocket and it's convenient. I hope for the moon, but keep my feet firmly planted here on Earth.

Still, nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

I have the feeling, one way or the other, you'll have regrets. But hey, that's Life.
 
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Does it cost anything to text back?
A bit of time and zero money. Just do it , for fun. Tell her all the despicable things you would do to her, no hold barred. Then wait for the answer (if any)
 
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faboo2001 said:
That is quite the find! I'm sure most of the team now understands why you consider this to be a dilemma.
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She owns a private pool and @deckard likes swimming? :confused:

Well, the chances are slim in my opinion, but then as @Frenchy said there is nothing much to lose by trying either.
 
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yeah...
by all means, if you think its worth it, go ahead... got nothing to loose anyway...

doesnt seem like anything is going to happen, but just try...

personally i would reply/text until i think its pointles..
 
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Gunmachan said:
Is she still working at that café?
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Good one!

I'd say visit her again there sometime.

Also for the messages, i dont know what kind of conversation you guys having but her sending you snaps and stuff and you replying like "thats nice.." isn't gonna work of course.
It is social media and many people on there are just collecting followers and likes but if you impress her with cool stories and great pictures yourself than you have a bigger chance to make her want to meet up imo.
 
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Gunmachan said:
Is she still working at that café?
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User#8628 said:
Good one!

I'd say visit her again there sometime.

Also for the messages, i dont know what kind of conversation you guys having but her sending you snaps and stuff and you replying like "thats nice.." isn't gonna work of course.
It is social media and many people on there are just collecting followers and likes but if you impress her with cool stories and great pictures yourself than you have a bigger chance to make her want to meet up imo.
Click to expand...

I did swing by the cafe, but she wasn't there. She told me over LINE she is serious about meeting. She might flake, but at least she's open to the idea. In fact, she asked me where I thought we should go to.

I generally don't talk about her work, but she does send snaps of her on the train with a caption like "finished work!" in the evening...
Maybe she really is busy, after all. If April goes by and no date, I'll stop texting her. Normally I would let such a girl go, but I like her, not just looks, but her personality.

Thanks for your suggestions :)
 
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deckard said:
I did swing by the cafe, but she wasn't there. She told me over LINE she is serious about meeting. She might flake, but at least she's open to the idea. In fact, she asked me where I thought we should go to.

I generally don't talk about her work, but she does send snaps of her on the train with a caption like "finished work!" in the evening...
Maybe she really is busy, after all. If April goes by and no date, I'll stop texting her. Normally I would let such a girl go, but I like her, not just looks, but her personality.

Thanks for your suggestions :)
Click to expand...

It sounds like the beginning of a beautiful love story (y):rolleyes::)
 
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Anyway, just a quick update. She told me she quit her job at the cafe and is doing a longer shift internship. Spring, cherry blossoms, right? She wants to go see them and asked me to take her.

Kind of a pain in the ass with all this waiting, but I guess it could be pretty romantic for a first date.

Now I need to google the dates where the blossoms bloom and fix something up.

Well, this is probably the last post here. I'm glad it worked out...
 
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User#8628 said:
Good one!

I'd say visit her again there sometime.

Also for the messages, i dont know what kind of conversation you guys having but her sending you snaps and stuff and you replying like "thats nice.." isn't gonna work of course.
It is social media and many people on there are just collecting followers and likes but if you impress her with cool stories and great pictures yourself than you have a bigger chance to make her want to meet up imo.
Click to expand...

I totally agree, Alice! This is a little unrelated since I'm not answering/or contributing to deckard (apologies in advance) but so many Japanese women seem to like to just collect followers/learn English. I once met a Tinder match by chance because she worked at Starbucks and without me saying anything apologized for never replying to my Tinder message and then she just blatantly told me that it's just a self confidence boost for her and there is an underlying competition between her friends and her about who can get "more attention."

Totally off point ranting. I'm a ranter. Apologies.
 
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