Shrewd Sugar: Sugar Dating vs Relationships for me

[Tokidoki]

@DanniCake Great to see you on TAG, different vantage points are good to have.

I'm an avid user of SA, though to be frank, I've met many duds in my time there.
From the sound of your writing and personality, I don't think we've met on SA (yet?). I'll make a comment on my profile that you would recognize from your point system that would help determine if we've connected already.

I won't get into the specifics of how much I dote upon the SB's I've met. Only two of them, out of 17, were worth meeting a 2nd and 3rd time, etc. With some, there was no connection. Others were just simply uninteresting and were only looking for an ATM with as little work as possible.

Edited: Miscount.

 

[DanniCake]

@DanniCake Great to see you on TAG, different vantage points are good to have.

I'm an avid user of SA, though to be frank, I've met many duds in my time there.
From the sound of your writing and personality, I don't think we've met on SA (yet?). I'll make a comment on my profile that you would recognize from your point system that would help determine if we've connected already.

I won't get into the specifics of how much I dote upon the SB's I've met. Only two of them, out of 14, were worth meeting a 2nd and 3rd time, etc. With some, there was no connection. Others were just simply uninteresting and were only looking for an ATM with as little work as possible.

Considering you have the Targaryen Symbol as your picture I think you'd recognize my name on there (Although it's misspelled since Daenerys under the proper spelling was already taken and apparently SB on that site can't have the same name.)
Considering how much I've written here you'll probably recognize my profile based on the NOVEL LENGTH level of information I try to cram into it.
Say Hi if you see me

 

[Wwanderer]

Well he's in this range right now because they've been dating for a while, when they first started going out she was probably getting around 30~50k per meeting
He's taken her on trips, he pays for all her beauty products, she's really into filming equipment so this last year alone he's probably spent about 200K buying her high end camera's and lighting equipment.
He also just supports her hobbies and his job gives her business opportunity access

That all sounds perfectly reasonable with all those extra details, and of course the only thing that really matters is that they are both happy with their arrangements.

Out of curiosity, what is your feeling on regular monthly allowances vs per date support?

-Ww

 

[Tokidoki]

Out of curiosity, what is your feeling on regular monthly allowances vs per date support?

Biting. Have feedback on this from others.

It's a ripoff, at least for the SB ladies where they (SD's) low-ball them with a silly monthly figure.
300,000 yen for a month, divide that by ~4-5 meetings, that's 60-75,000 yen per meeting. As the meetings accumulate, the dilution of cash over time increases. 300,000 is a baseline amount, I think. Those cheap SD's offering less for monthly support, the girl is definitely getting screwed, figuratively.

SB's I've talked to have had the monthly arrangement but in most cases, the SD wanted too much time and didn't pony up extra support.

Per meeting is more flexible and respectful, imho.

The other guy who paid 100k in another story here, that's what I'd call over-the-top for a per meeting arrangement. ~30-80k is a good range for per meeting and don't forget we're usually absorbing entertainment, shopping (for her) and hotel fees when needed.

The 2 SB's I have been seeing are angels. The spoil me as much as I spoil them!

 

[Wwanderer]

Biting. Have feedback on this from others.

It's a ripoff, at least for the SB ladies where they (SD's) low-ball them with a silly monthly figure.
300,000 yen for a month, divide that by ~4-5 meetings, that's 60-75,000 yen per meeting. As the meetings accumulate, the dilution of cash over time increases. 300,000 is a baseline amount, I think. Those cheap SD's offering less for monthly support, the girl is definitely getting screwed, figuratively.

SB's I've talked to have had the monthly arrangement but in most cases, the SD wanted too much time and didn't pony up extra support.

Per meeting is more flexible and respectful, imho.

The other guy who paid 100k in another story here, that's what I'd call over-the-top for a per meeting arrangement. ~30-80k is a good range for per meeting and don't forget we're usually absorbing entertainment, shopping (for her) and hotel fees when needed.

The 2 SB's I have been seeing are angels. The spoil me as much as I spoil them!

Personally I strongly prefer a per date arrangement for a variety of reasons but mostly because I travel so much and so irregularly that the opportunities my SBs and I have to spend time together vary wildly over the year and over the years, so a regular amount just doesn't make much sense.

That said, I've discussed the topic with rather many SBs, both ones with whom I've had arrangements and many others with whom none ended up emerging, and as far as I can judge, their opinions vary all over the map. Some insist on one, some on the other, some don't really care, some have preferences of varying strengths, some prefer to start with one and evolve to the other, some have different schemes altogether that they like.

So, no single right answer imo.

-Ww

 

[just4fun]

Nothing wrong with that. Hell, i married one.

I thought that was funny too. I've known a few and they're were almost always fun to talk/hang with.

 

[DanniCake]

That all sounds perfectly reasonable with all those extra details, and of course the only thing that really matters is that they are both happy with their arrangements.

Out of curiosity, what is your feeling on regular monthly allowances vs per date support?

-Ww

For myself that depends and I know a lot of Japanese SB prefer per date because it gives them more control over when they date and their own monthly schedules and budgets. Some of my Japanese friends who sugar date only do it when they have a particular bill to pay or a thing they want and beyond that one meeting they don't actually want to be harnessed to a Daddy. Personally I'd rather not have that and have an actual relationship but I'm open to it, it would just depend on what was expected of me.

If someone didn't care if I was exclusive or not, if they were an irregular visitor to Japan, then a per date offer would be acceptable however it would be, for me at least, more than a per monthly deal (especially if as I said in another post, they expected me to alter my plans and drop things in order to make time for them whenever they came by)

If they wanted me to be exclusive to them then, if they expected me to alter my life schedule for them, if they wanted a regular scheduled meetup I'd want a monthly allowance (that would stay the same regardless of if they couldn't meet or not) like there would be a baseline of "This is your day/time/shit you can get away with" which is what the allowance would be for.

So lets say you were to come up to me and said "I want to meet every Sunday from about 12:00~8:00, we can do whatever you like during that time and I want you to not be seeing anyone else." then I absolutely would want a baseline monthly allowance of about 150k, or 37k per meetup give or take depending on what we do assuming 4 Sundays a month.

If you were to say "I want to meet you just one Sunday this month, from about 12~8, we can do whatever you'd like and we are not monogamous" then I'd expect to get something between 40k~100k for that particular meetup depending on what we do, assuming I may or may not see you again and what kind of relationship we have.

 

[DanniCake]

I thought that was funny too. I've known a few and they're were almost always fun to talk/hang with.

We are a pretty purrfect breed of people~

*BADUM-CHISS*

ok I'll see myself out.

 

[DanniCake]

I mean of course whatever I say is different sugar baby to sugar baby and differs relationship to relationship, even for myself whatever I would ask for would depend on
1) My calculation table of relationship numbers (first post)
and then
2) What's expected of me in said relationship

So lets say by my point system a guy is a 25/50 which means that he's at least "Dating acceptable"
But then he expects me (not negotiates with me as a couple but EXPECTS me) to meet him every Sunday for a Date. I can't do that, for someone just at 25/50 I wouldn't WANT to do that, and that he would be demanding it of me would drop him in those points anyway. So then I would expect him to at minimum pay transport and for whatever we're doing on that date since he's the one pushing me to be there every single time.
He expects me to dress a certain way on these dates? He has to pay for that dress and the time it takes for me to then dress that way. (i.e cash now in my hand due to the time it takes me to prepare)
He expects me to have sex with him every single one of those dates, well unless he scored 10 in attractive and 10 in spark he might need to butter me up with some gifts for me to be in the mood every single weekend.

I feel like what is expected of me directly correlates to what I expect in return in order to perform what is wanted of me. I mean that's kind of how everything works in life it's just rarely calculated out so bluntly.

Maybe it's because I'm into BDSM and am used to just people throwing a yes/no/maybe kink list and negotiation sessions that this all comes somewhat second nature for everyone to be checking that everyone is cool and getting what they need out of a scene/relationship.

 

[Coda87]

I would automatically give you +2 addt'l points in Friendship and Spark just because you played D&D

 

[Frenchy]

I mean of course whatever I say is different sugar baby to sugar baby and differs relationship to relationship, even for myself whatever I would ask for would depend on
1) My calculation table of relationship numbers (first post)
and then
2) What's expected of me in said relationship

So lets say by my point system a guy is a 25/50 which means that he's at least "Dating acceptable"
But then he expects me (not negotiates with me as a couple but EXPECTS me) to meet him every Sunday for a Date. I can't do that, for someone just at 25/50 I wouldn't WANT to do that, and that he would be demanding it of me would drop him in those points anyway. So then I would expect him to at minimum pay transport and for whatever we're doing on that date since he's the one pushing me to be there every single time.
He expects me to dress a certain way on these dates? He has to pay for that dress and the time it takes for me to then dress that way. (i.e cash now in my hand due to the time it takes me to prepare)
He expects me to have sex with him every single one of those dates, well unless he scored 10 in attractive and 10 in spark he might need to butter me up with some gifts for me to be in the mood every single weekend.

I feel like what is expected of me directly correlates to what I expect in return in order to perform what is wanted of me. I mean that's kind of how everything works in life it's just rarely calculated out so bluntly.

Maybe it's because I'm into BDSM and am used to just people throwing a yes/no/maybe kink list and negotiation sessions that this all comes somewhat second nature for everyone to be checking that everyone is cool and getting what they need out of a scene/relationship.

No offense intended, but given how you compute and assess and compare everything , I feel a date with you must be as warm and affectionate as one with my PC when it’s on Excel.

 

[just4fun]

We are a pretty purrfect breed of people~

*BADUM-CHISS*

ok I'll see myself out.

Ahhhhh, another cat person. You're up a couple of points on my list

 

[DanniCake]

I would automatically give you +2 addt'l points in Friendship and Spark just because you played D&D

I wonder if I could start a sexy DM'ing service.
300k, 8hr session, you bring the books and I'll make the map.
Enter the room and immediately roll for initiative.

 

[Coda87]

No offense intended, but given how you compute and assess and compare everything , I feel a date with you must be as warm and affectionate as one with my PC when it’s on Excel.

Everyone makes these assessments in their own way. She just boiled it down to a system similar to a roleplaying game. It think its kind of cool

 

[Coda87]

I wonder if I could start a sexy DM'ing service.
300k, 8hr session, you bring the books and I'll make the map.
Enter the room and immediately roll for initiative. [/QUOTE

Hmm... interesting thought. Or you could just play the role of Sugar Succubus

 

[DanniCake]

Hmm... interesting thought. Or you could just play the role of Sugar Succubus

Boss battle, can your party defeat the Sugar Succubus?
What treasure could you get from her deep lair if you do?
What tortures would await you in that dark hell if you don't?

I've never LARPed before but I've always wanted to.

 

[just4fun]

Boss battle, can your party defeat the Sugar Succubus?
What treasure could you get from her deep lair if you do?
What tortures would await you in that dark hell if you don't?

I've never LARPed before but I've always wanted to.

Interesting fantasy.......but the cats would interfere.

 

[Coda87]

I'm curious about the SD world. Never tried it myself. But after reading several posts, it seems that it still has one of the elements in regular dating where you spend a lot of time meeting people and most times it doesn't workout (i know very occasionally you can be lucky and hit it off from the start too). p4p is more of a sure thing for guys just wanting temporary/make believe/physical touch of a lady. But its seems there is very little chance of any real relationship happening.

 

[Coda87]

I've never LARPed before but I've always wanted to.

Yeah me too. I thought about asking a provider to try this (not D&D/Fantasy RP, but normal). But I think I would have to be a regular client to ask for something like that and do a lot of explaining.

 

[MikeH]

But its seems there is very little chance of any real relationship happening.

Maybe because most of the time one or both participants are not looking or even deliberately avoiding "real relationship"? Still even in the last couple of years I have had several regular p4p providers that we share our life details with each other, and I even non-exclusively dated one for couple of years. So I would not say it has been "very little chance" at least for me.

 

[Coda87]

Maybe because most of the time one or both participants are not looking or even deliberately avoiding "real relationship"? Still even in the last couple of years I have had several regular p4p providers that we share our life details with each other, and I even non-exclusively dated one for couple of years. So I would not say it has been "very little chance" at least for me.

Ok, for us mere mortal mongers, very little chance. TAG deities like MikeH have a much better chance of true seduction

 

[MikeH]

Ok, for us mere mortal mongers, very little chance. TAG deities like MikeH have a much better chance of true seduction

Obviously I have much better chances than anyone else. I mean being extremely good looking, having the most beautiful dick in the world and being blessed with abundant funds hooking up with beautiful spinners is just a matter of fact for me.

Or then it could just be that I am using the services often enough and then frequenting the same places when I find someone I like. Then all you need is the willingness to listen.

 

[DanniCake]

I'm curious about the SD world. Never tried it myself. But after reading several posts, it seems that it still has one of the elements in regular dating where you spend a lot of time meeting people and most times it doesn't workout (i know very occasionally you can be lucky and hit it off from the start too). p4p is more of a sure thing for guys just wanting temporary/make believe/physical touch of a lady. But its seems there is very little chance of any real relationship happening.

Sugar dating is basically the in between point between just regular dating and escorts. It's sort of a situation where a guy would LIKE to date, but knows that he doesn't have the time to hunt for a compatible woman who would be into him and also put in the time to build a relationship from scratch to get the things he wants out of it. So instead he offers money to gloss over all those things and gets essentially a "Girlfriend of convenience(*)"

If a guy doesn't terribly care about having a girlfriend like experience and just wants to directly pay someone to have sex then Sugaring isn't the right community for them, while some escorts are sugar babies, that's not always the case and asking a sugar baby "How much" is more of an insult than a quick path to what you want.

*Some terms conditions may apply see in store for details, convenience may be very expensive and does not explicitly guarantee a drama free experience, if you experience Drama while seeing a Sugar Baby please discontinue. Speak to your doctor today to see if Sugaring is right for you.

 

[Jackindabox]

Sugar dating is basically the in between point between just regular dating and escorts. It's sort of a situation where a guy would LIKE to date, but knows that he doesn't have the time to hunt for a compatible woman who would be into him and also put in the time to build a relationship from scratch to get the things he wants out of it. So instead he offers money to gloss over all those things and gets essentially a "Girlfriend of convenience(*)"

If a guy doesn't terribly care about having a girlfriend like experience and just wants to directly pay someone to have sex then Sugaring isn't the right community for them, while some escorts are sugar babies, that's not always the case and asking a sugar baby "How much" is more of an insult than a quick path to what you want.

*Some terms conditions may apply see in store for details, convenience may be very expensive and does not explicitly guarantee a drama free experience, if you experience Drama while seeing a Sugar Baby please discontinue. Speak to your doctor today to see if Sugaring is right for you.

So you were talking about waxing or a he alternative to it. Yeah, 2 to 4 times of that is about 200K. I get it. So where’s the best place to get Sugaring done? Didn’t know they offered that in Tokyo. I’m stoked now. I just love Sugaring. The Sugar Bowl is not always sweet, but it can be. The Sugar Bowl is not always right, but it can be. The Sugar Bowl is not always perfectly shaped or colored, by it can be. The Sugar Bowl doesn’t always peaceful, but it can be. The Sugar Bowl sometimes has too much sugar, and sometimes not enough, and sometimes it’s bitter, and cold, and all those things you hate about the human condition, but it can be wonderful. Wonderful only if the two parties can be relatively trustworthy and honest about what each other wants or needs. From all the testimonials written by sugar babies 99 percent of them had sex with their SDs and many on the first date. The Sugar Bowl looks clean, but it’s got a messy, complicated grime that nobody wants to admit. It’s not supposed to be about greed, but it always is. It’s not always supposed to be about sex but it most certainly is. It’s not always supposed to be about money, but again it always is. “For the money, you have the time” is an ubiquitous expression that shouldn’t be misunderstood, but it can be. And the Sugar Bowl is often misunderstood as it should be. So what I want to know is if the bowl is sugar or is there sugar in the bowl? I’m not sure I understand the concept of a sugar bowl. Yes! I must make my own sugar bowl. Is there any specific type of sugar I should use? Brown? White? Raw? Black? Synthetic? Cotton like? Mixed? Flavored? Fruity? Corn starch? I’m off to my lab to make a sugar bowl for myself.

 

[MikeH]

I must make my own sugar bowl.

I think you already might have diabetes.