Side Action while Living with the SO

[LonelyWanderer]

Fellow men of few morals,

I have a few questions for you guys regarding how you handle side action while living with your wife or long term girlfriend. I recently moved in with my girlfriend of a few years. We've been basically staying at each other's houses every day for a while now so it was the logical choice. Nevertheless, the lack of having my own space is really making me want to get some side action (especially non P4P).

Before, moving in together, it was far easier to cover my tracks but since I now need to come up with an excuse for not being home, it's a bit harder. Luckily, I'm always traveling but out of town tail means having to line up a one night thing while on the road.

With the above said, here are a few inquiries I have for people who have been cohabiting for some time now...

• Do you limit your side action to ONLY P4P or do you also pursue side chicks?
• If you do non-P4P, how do you handle the logistics? Only hotels and/or her place?
• Are you up front about your relationship status? Do you try to just keep it casual?
• How do you avoid her getting attached and wrecking your main thing?
• What are some tips for avoiding suspicions? How do you keep it hidden?
• Do you have any other pointers for playing with fire?

Thanks in advance gentlemen!

 

[MikeH]

If you are living with someone and want to keep it that way then the safest way to go is to do only p4p. Especially if you think you could get attached to the side-girl then you should not even start with non-p4p activities.

There are plenty of hotels everywhere so no reason to use anyone's home. The added bonus is nobody needs to sleep in the wet spot.

If you decide to pursue non-p4p then again the safest way to go is to tell upfront you are married. And search for girls who are married too. At least that limits the possibilities she starts to call you at home phone.

Then again if you live with someone and have a long term thing going on the odds are you will get burned sooner rather than later. The only way this could work is if your main girl is Japanese chick who doesn't have sex with you anymore and doesn't care if you do get it outside.

I mean, I don't even live with any of the girls I have sex with and usually meet them just a couple of times per month and still they figure out pretty soon they are not the only one.

 

[LonelyWanderer]

If you are living with someone and want to keep it that way then the safest way to go is to do only p4p. Especially if you think you could get attached to the side-girl then you should not even start with non-p4p activities.

There are plenty of hotels everywhere so no reason to use anyone's home. The added bonus is nobody needs to sleep in the wet spot.

If you decide to pursue non-p4p then again the safest way to go is to tell upfront you are married. And search for girls who are married too. At least that limits the possibilities she starts to call you at home phone.

Then again if you live with someone and have a long term thing going on the odds are you will get burned sooner rather than later. The only way this could work is if your main girl is Japanese chick who doesn't have sex with you anymore and doesn't care if you do get it outside.

I mean, I don't even live with any of the girls I have sex with and usually meet them just a couple of times per month and still they figure out pretty soon they are not the only one.

Thanks for the advice.

While I am not married, I do with with my GF. She's pretty chill and not at all clingy so as long as I don't raise suspicions somehow, she is unlikely to find out. Still, I need to be careful. When we weren't living together, I'd always leave my phone password protected and to be extra safe, I'd delete any incriminating messages.

One thing I have going for me is that I travel every weekend so I can always pursue something while on the road. The fact that I won't be going back again helps to ensure that they don't get attached. I guess using Tinder pre-travel here is something I should look into.

Probably should avoid Tokyo chicks though as that's basically shitting where I eat and it raises questions about where I was...

 

[Desktop]

- Message alerts on certain phones can be seen without a password
- Your trainpass has a history of exactly where you were & when that can be scanned to see.
- I assume any lady I live with eventually knows the password on my phone & personal computer.

 

[LonelyWanderer]

- Message alerts on certain phones can be seen without a password
- Your trainpass has a history of exactly where you were & when that can be scanned to see.
- I assume any lady I live with eventually knows the password on my phone & personal computer.

Of course I have all alerts off an have a password that is 14 random characters long. It's not something someone without an amazing memory could pick up on via a glance. Moreover, I change it all the time just in case.

As for the train pass, if she were to go that far, she get's dumped by default. I am not going to date a stalker and anyone who goes to that lengths is a deal breaker by default.

 

[e-smile]

I mean, I don't even live with any of the girls I have sex with and usually meet them just a couple of times per month and still they figure out pretty soon they are not the only one.

well if you only meet a couple of times per month that already means you are seeing someone else

 

[Durg50]

Dont worry Im sure your SO is getting her fair share of cock on the side as well. As long as both of you are discrete about it nobody will care.

 

[Lukes]

When I look for side action, I keep it strictly P4P these days. More discrete that way. Providers don't know you and for the most part don't care to. And you won't have to worry about getting texts at home (usually at least). Never underestimate the potential for phone-related disasters. I've had a few close calls before because I left some things on my phone in places I didn't think my wife would look.

I used to do a bit of compensated dating as as an extracurricular activity before it became too complicated and decided to stop. The "logistics" were hard to manage. Used her place almost exclusively but it's hard to account for all those hours you're MIA if you have even a semi normal 8-5 schedule.

If you do get a side chick, be upfront about your relationship status and that you're not looking to change your situation. All you want is to have some fun on the side.

 

[Acid Burn]

Do you limit your side action to ONLY P4P or do you also pursue side chicks?

P4P only. As others have said, it’s safer that way you’re not likely to get one that wants to ruin your relationship.

Are you up front about your relationship status? Do you try to just keep it casual?

Always be upfront about your relationship. You don’t want to lead a woman on only for her to get burned finding out you’re in a relationship. You know that saying about a woman scorned...

How do you avoid her getting attached and wrecking your main thing?

Don’t repeat. It’s hard to develop an attachment when you only see them once.

What are some tips for avoiding suspicions? How do you keep it hidden?

Your phone password is secure but how are you communicating? Is your Email password secure?

Any saved passwords on the computer or in Chrome? FYI, saved passwords in Chrome can be easily seen if she knows where to look.

Lock down your Line app with an extra password.

Lock down any password manager you use with an extra password.

Any plaintext password notes? Don’t.

Browse in incognito mode.

Turn off autocomplete. For website address completion, the last thing you need is be typing in your web address bar and that “T” you typed autocompletes to tokyoadultguide. Or you try to go to CNN’s page with your SO looking over your shoulder and that “C” shows up trying to autocomplete Cityheaven.

The same goes for typing. Predictive text shows tokyoadultguide as a suggestion when I just type Tokyo. Haha. Or you innocently try to type bball and it suggests BBBJ.

Does your phone use fingerprint biometrics? If you’re a heavy sleeper, it’s easy to press your finger on your phone when you’re sleeping. If your phone supports it, have it delete everything on too many password attempts.

You only use a 14 digit string for your password, are you sure she doesn’t have a good memory?

Does your phone trust your computer? When you attach it are you able to access your camera roll without unlocking your phone?

Turn off Significant Locations in iOS and/or Location History in Google/Android. That shit’s pretty accurate. And accurate enough to easily show I spent 2hrs in Yoshiwara on certain days. Sometimes it even nails the correct shop I was in. Or couple hours on a street lined with love hotels even though I said I was to have been on the other side of the train tracks.

Do you have any other pointers for playing with fire?

Always wear a condom as giving your SO a special present from your side action will out you fast. That means CBJ’s too if you’re playing it extra safe. Although if you’re one of the many unlucky souls in a sexless relationship, you don’t have to worry about giving her anything, so there is that.

 

[Desktop]

Watch out for adult related Japanese terms these stick to the systems no matter what. You could blame it on porn though.

 

[Mrmer]

Married 17 years. My side action is my wife knows. Just a suggestion since we don’t hide our shit. Look for the lady who is a bit open minded and kinky. Not hiding things I’m a couple makes shit easier. I know I know..


Love is love.

Sex is sex.


So even if I was hiding. Condom. Condom condom. Fuck can’t even believe I need to spam that .