Situational and cultural difficulties

[fareastmovement]

I'm 5'7 in my early 20s, Singaporean and recently moved to Tokyo for an office job. I am not too inexperienced and uncomfortable around girls, have had my fair share of ONS, fwbs and relationships.

Due to my personal situation, I generally cannot go out before 12.30AM so the only place where I usually go to to try to pick up J-girls is in the clubs (mainly Roppongi).I look decent, and can dance fairly well, but due to my limited height and not having the non-Asian appearance, I don't really stand out in the club. I also tried to dress well and accordingly to the clubs that I visited. I usually approach girls on the dance floor by dancing in front of them a bit then extending my hand towards them. This works 30% for me, not a very impressive number but I'm working on improving it. My question is, what should I do to improve my chance of making the girls more interested?

Note: My Japanese skills are non-existent since I just moved here and English is the only language I use at work. So talking to girls in Japanese is a big challenge at the moment.

 

[warubuta]

If you get laid at all you will be very lucky. Japanese girls in Roppongi are looking for white or black foreigners or Japanese guys with lots of money. They are not generally looking for Asian guys, but if you look good and got game, then you will do fine. One thing you have going for you vs other Asians is that you are Singaporean which means that Japanese people think you speak good English. You could set up language exchange meetings, limit your partners to young J girls somehow and work that angle.

 

[TAG Manager]

Baby steps.

Just take small steps and improve your confidence but just don't be cocky. Communication helps immensely but girls in Roppongi aren't expecting guys there to be fluent in Japanese. Just learn some basic phrases and try to communicate with a combination of both verbal and body language.

 

[fareastmovement]

If you get laid at all you will be very lucky. Japanese girls in Roppongi are looking for white or black foreigners or Japanese guys with lots of money. They are not generally looking for Asian guys, but if you look good and got game, then you will do fine. One thing you have going for you vs other Asians is that you are Singaporean which means that Japanese people think you speak good English. You could set up language exchange meetings, limit your partners to young J girls somehow and work that angle.

Only in Japan would people think Singaporeans speak good English lol I cannot do language exchange meetings because I my job requires me to be at work from 9AM until 11PM.

 

[fareastmovement]

Baby steps.

Just take small steps and improve your confidence but just don't be cocky. Communication helps immensely but girls in Roppongi aren't expecting guys there to be fluent in Japanese. Just learn some basic phrases and try to communicate with a combination of both verbal and body language.

What basic phrases should I know? I rely quite a bit on communication to pick up girls that I am clueless without it. And I still don't know how some basic phrase would help me piece together a meaningful enough conversation to get some interests from the girls

 

[TAG Manager]

my job requires me to be at work from 9AM until 11PM.

That's slavery man. Doesn't your company read the news about the overwork compliance going on?

 

[TAG Manager]

What basic phrases should I know? I rely quite a bit on communication to pick up girls that I am clueless without it. And I still don't know how some basic phrase would help me piece together a meaningful enough conversation to get some interests from the girls

Daily conversation... basic things like hello, good evening, how to introduce yourself, how to ask for telephone/LINE information... how to compliment a girl. Girls love you it when you notice things about them, those kind of details go a long way.

I don't deny that being of Asian heritage can be a little more difficult for some, but it's truly not a real handicap. It's all about how you present yourself....

 

[ShowaJidai]

I don't deny that being of Asian heritage can be a little more difficult for some, but it's truly not a real handicap.

There are a lot of Japanese girls who have very little experience with non-Asian men so with them being Asian is a plus. The downside for you is that they usually only speak Japanese .

 

[fareastmovement]

Daily conversation... basic things like hello, good evening, how to introduce yourself, how to ask for telephone/LINE information... how to compliment a girl. Girls love you it when you notice things about them, those kind of details go a long way.

I don't deny that being of Asian heritage can be a little more difficult for some, but it's truly not a real handicap. It's all about how you present yourself....

I mean I know the basics like saying hello and introducing myself but that's pretty mundane conversational material that I try to avoid when picking up girls. Complimenting is very situational though, and a very general compliment does not really fare all that well. Also, if I can't follow up on my compliment with more Japanese, then I'm left with a pretty awkward silence haha.

 

[TAG Manager]

I mean I know the basics like saying hello and introducing myself but that's pretty mundane conversational material that I try to avoid when picking up girls. Complimenting is very situational though, and a very general compliment does not really fare all that well. Also, if I can't follow up on my compliment with more Japanese, then I'm left with a pretty awkward silence haha.

Then you know what you need to do... work on your communication. Or, seek out girls that speak better English, that's really what it boils down to.
Even if you meet a Japanese girl, how are you going to follow-up the meeting in either language?

I'm just being realistic...

Your social situation seems really awkward. If you are always flying solo, that can be a negative too in some cases.

 

[fareastmovement]

Then you know what you need to do... work on your communication. Or, seek out girls that speak better English, that's really what it boils down to.
Even if you meet a Japanese girl, how are you going to follow-up the meeting in either language?

I'm just being realistic...

Your social situation seems really awkward. If you are always flying solo, that can be a negative too in some cases.

I'm working on my communication, taking Japanese course 3 times a week now haha But I guess what I really am trying to ask is that, with my current situation (not enough Nihongo skills), what can I possibly do to improve my approach? one could say I should wait until I can confidently have a conversation in Japanese but I want to take this chance to improve the non-conversational aspects of my game

 

[Sinapse]

I'm 5'7 in my early 20s, Singaporean and recently moved to Tokyo for an office job. I am not too inexperienced and uncomfortable around girls, have had my fair share of ONS, fwbs and relationships.

Due to my personal situation, I generally cannot go out before 12.30AM so the only place where I usually go to to try to pick up J-girls is in the clubs (mainly Roppongi).I look decent, and can dance fairly well, but due to my limited height and not having the non-Asian appearance, I don't really stand out in the club. I also tried to dress well and accordingly to the clubs that I visited. I usually approach girls on the dance floor by dancing in front of them a bit then extending my hand towards them. This works 30% for me, not a very impressive number but I'm working on improving it. My question is, what should I do to improve my chance of making the girls more interested?

Note: My Japanese skills are non-existent since I just moved here and English is the only language I use at work. So talking to girls in Japanese is a big challenge at the moment.

Approach in more situations as well. The dance floor can be good, but also near the bar, in the corridors, etc. Work on tonality (louder / deeper than you probably naturally speak, and "breaking tonality" - voice falling at the end of the sentence), speak clearly & slowly in English. If your Japanese really is horrible, just stick with English for the most part, you will be fine. Try out more bars and smaller venues as well, and the street in Roppongi is a gold mine - far better than clubs IMHO, you just need more balls but the payoff is far greater.

 

[raoxi]

Seems like you are doing fine? If is 30% success rate then about every third girl works out on the dancer floor? Thats pretty successful aint it?