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So you've been matched on Tinder? now what do you do? (looking for answers)

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okayspot

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I paid the 500 yen a month for tinder premium and I'm semi-attractive, Kinda socially awkward late 20's guy.

This leads me to get at least 4-5 matches on tinder a day. out of those maybe one will reply to me.

My conversations go like this(less generic, but this is the conversation flow. )

Me: So what do you do in life?

Them: profession or student goes here

Me: Oh! What do you enjoy to do

Them: Some type of hobby.

Me: some follow-up questions based on the hobby


And this is the end of the conversation, to be bluntly honest unless they are unattractive, they stop replying after this, 95% of the time.

I tried going off-ball questions/conversations immediately moving to let's go get a coffee and found those get me ignored even quicker.
 
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Depending on what her hobby is, you could say that you find it interesting and suggest you go do something related to that hobby together. Or ask her what kind of food she likes. Then tell her you know a great place and that you'd really want to take her so she can experience it.
 
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If she is Japanese compliment her English - ask where/how she learned - does she like to travel?/where has she been - (follow up if you've been there) - does she drink?/what does she like to drink? - mention a movie you saw recently/ask her if she's seen it - ask her about her favorite movies -

What do you usually say to somebody you just met?
 
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I am definitely guilty of ghosting people on Tinder (whenever I activate it). I get matches all the time, but it’s all small talk with just about everyone. It’s like having the same conversations over and over again, and I am not really a fan of that. I always end up getting bored and deactivate my profile.

The only times I’ve ever met Tinder matches in real life is when they do or say something different. I recommend that you look at her photos and comment on something about the background (if it’s an outdoor shot) and ask where that photo was taken or if she enjoys doing whatever is in the background often.. or read her profile and ask questions about something specific in there. Maybe even start off with a clever joke.
 
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MissInsomnia said:
I recommend that you look at her photos and comment on something about the background (if it’s an outdoor shot) and ask where that photo was taken or if she enjoys doing whatever is in the background often.. or read her profile and ask questions about something specific in there. Maybe even start off with a clever joke.
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Thats hilarious because i once uploaded a picture somewhere (not tinder) with sex toys in the background accidentally.
 
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For Tinder to work for a guy you have to have the absolute best photos of yourself and you have to cast a wide net. Like as many as you can - don't keep your standards too high.

Also, if a match doesn't reply right away - either at the beginning or after chatting a bit - give it a day or so and try again. Give her an excuse - "Seems like you've been busy - me too"

Also decide for yourself if a match is worth the long game - does she seem worth chatting with on-line for a while before meeting? How long?

I am operating at a distinct disadvantage but I have had relatively good success.
 
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MissInsomnia said:
I am definitely guilty of ghosting people on Tinder (whenever I activate it). I get matches all the time, but it’s all small talk with just about everyone. It’s like having the same conversations over and over again, and I am not really a fan of that. I always end up getting bored and deactivate my profile.

The only times I’ve ever met Tinder matches in real life is when they do or say something different. I recommend that you look at her photos and comment on something about the background (if it’s an outdoor shot) and ask where that photo was taken or if she enjoys doing whatever is in the background often.. or read her profile and ask questions about something specific in there. Maybe even start off with a clever joke.
Click to expand...

Speaking of commenting on pictures, I have been waiting for the promised bikini photos for like forever (taps foot while attempting to look peeved but really is pouting). My opening always reminds me of the joke: how do you spot the extroverted accountant? He's the one staring at your shoes.
 
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JackB said:
Speaking of commenting on pictures, I have been waiting for the promised bikini photos for like forever (taps foot while attempting to look peeved but really is pouting). My opening always reminds me of the joke: how do you spot the extroverted accountant? He's the one staring at your shoes.
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Oh, I’ve taken photos with three sets already. Will upload them later tonight. Sorry for the wait. Hope the photos make up for it! :kiss:
 
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MissInsomnia said:
I recommend that you look at her photos and comment on something about the background (if it’s an outdoor shot) and ask where that photo was taken or if she enjoys doing whatever is in the background often.. or read her profile and ask questions about something specific in there. Maybe even start off with a clever joke.
Click to expand...

I’ve had success getting conversions started and even meeting a few ladies, using this technique. The key is to demonstrate that you took some time to find out about the person and then try to find some commonality in your initial contact.

If they are not asking you questions back I’d say they probably have little interest and you’d be better off recasting your line.
 
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okayspot said:
I paid the 500 yen a month for tinder premium and I'm semi-attractive, Kinda socially awkward late 20's guy.

This leads me to get at least 4-5 matches on tinder a day. out of those maybe one will reply to me.

My conversations go like this(less generic, but this is the conversation flow. )

Me: So what do you do in life?

Them: profession or student goes here

Me: Oh! What do you enjoy to do

Them: Some type of hobby.

Me: some follow-up questions based on the hobby


And this is the end of the conversation, to be bluntly honest unless they are unattractive, they stop replying after this, 95% of the time.

I tried going off-ball questions/conversations immediately moving to let's go get a coffee and found those get me ignored even quicker.
Click to expand...

When matched with a Japanese girl what I have noticed that they will either ghost me or they will only be interested for a few days before losing interest. Those who I have noticed that want to to take things further are Pacific Islanders.
 
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start a conversation about food then naturally lead to ill take u there nex time! dont say when thou... then hit them up with an invite a few days later.
 
okayspot said:
I'm semi-attractive, Kinda socially awkward late 20's guy
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now imagine doing that as a 40yo something guy.

are you on tinder for just some quick pussy or for a real relationship?

I was on okcupid several years back. I put on my profile I'm only for non serious relationships. I was a cheap non paying bastard so I didn't get to read the messages that the girls initiated. I always tried to initiate the convo. if they loose interest the convo is over, same as real life but there is less awkwardness. you gotta keep up. ask them out for coffee as a cheap option to get to know them better.

coffee or some macaroons in Ginza hahaha. it might or not lead to more meetings or a goodbye/ghosting and if it does, move on!
 
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Tkoadventure said:
Surprisingly, most women I’ve chatted with on Tinder in Japan were.
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Yep, you ask a girl if she is looking for a fuck buddy or a serious relationship and around 100 out of 99 will answer serious relationship. And then they become your fuck buddies. How strange! :p
 
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hmmmm Tinder...

I would say that if you swipe on 100 woman, maybe 5 - 10 respond.
and of those matches, 65% - 70% start a conversation that is more than one or two words.
So lets say we go with 10 matches, and 7 of them converse ... i'd say of that 7 maybe you have a shot to meet up with maybe 5 of them.

going with the lower percentages.
5 match, 3 of the five converse and 1 or 2 of those 3 will meet up.

that's my experience at least :-/
 
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BankerguyCanada said:
that's my experience at least :-/
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I think @ShowaJidai gave a good introduction to Tinder here a while ago. The short of it is that when people use screw driver for a hammer things normally don't work out too well.

Tinder has not worked for me very well either but that's because I am not giving it enough and moreover the right kind of love and care. When it is basically a picture viewing application it means you need to spend time and effort on getting the best possible pictures you can do. I hate pictures, especially ones that I would be in, so understandable Tinder will never work for me as well as it could.
 
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MikeH said:
I think @ShowaJidai gave a good introduction to Tinder here a while ago. The short of it is that when people use screw driver for a hammer things normally don't work out too well.

Tinder has not worked for me very well either but that's because I am not giving it enough and moreover the right kind of love and care. When it is basically a picture viewing application it means you need to spend time and effort on getting the best possible pictures you can do. I hate pictures, especially ones that I would be in, so understandable Tinder will never work for me as well as it could.
Click to expand...

Use a dick pic!
 
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