Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

:snaphappy: :woot:

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Which fish is often confused with tuna in Japan?
Mackerel.
 
Simonka said:
IQ too low to understand, please explain..
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Aw :(, Just wanted to say that mackerel sounds like "mag'ro" :notworthy:

"l" in English often gets vocalized in my head when it comes at the end of a word, but sorry, I'm not a native English speaker.(n)
 
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Ken1988 said:
Aw :(, Just wanted to say that mackerel sounds like "mag'ro" :notworthy:

"l" in English often gets vocalized in my head when it comes at the end of a word, but sorry, I'm not a native English speaker.(n)
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OOOH with the silent letters it does sound like maguro! :eek: :eek: :eek: (but more like a native Japanese speaker male pronunciation of maguro)
 
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Acid Burn said:
Looks like clutch and brake pedals. Gas pedal is on far right. :ROFLMAO:
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Yeah, you got that, and pressing both clutch and brake is the correct way to do it in order not to stall your engine. (for all you young people out there who never have driven a proper car ;))

And moreover breaking with your left leg while accelerating at the same time with your right is a standard trick of the rally drivers so there. :p
 
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MikeH said:
breaking with your left leg while accelerating at the same time with your right is a standard trick of the rally drivers so there
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A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice, but he can’t tell where it’s coming from.

"Hey, mister! I like your tie!" it says.

He looks around, but he doesn’t see anything, and decides to shrug it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip, and another tiny voice pipes up.

“Hey, hey, mister! Nice shoes!”

Again, he looks around, but he sees nothing but the bartender who is busy taking some other customers’ orders. Shaking his head, he takes another sip.

“Hey, mister! I like your haircut!”

He puts down his drink, frustrated, and signals to the bartender, who walks over, polishing a glass.

“Hey, barkeep,” he says, “what’s with the high-pitched voices I keep hearing?”

“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”
 
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A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the lady said, “Pardon?”
 
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Rusty Trombone said:
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice, but he can’t tell where it’s coming from.

"Hey, mister! I like your tie!" it says.

He looks around, but he doesn’t see anything, and decides to shrug it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip, and another tiny voice pipes up.

“Hey, hey, mister! Nice shoes!”

Again, he looks around, but he sees nothing but the bartender who is busy taking some other customers’ orders. Shaking his head, he takes another sip.

“Hey, mister! I like your haircut!”

He puts down his drink, frustrated, and signals to the bartender, who walks over, polishing a glass.

“Hey, barkeep,” he says, “what’s with the high-pitched voices I keep hearing?”

“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”
Click to expand...

You’ve missed out half the joke! There’s two voices.
 
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