Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Sudsy]

You know, I don't think I ever told you guys, but my father was a conjoined twin.

His brother was my uncle on my fathers side once removed.

 

[IchigoDave]

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

 

[IchigoDave]

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”

 

[IchigoDave]

If a pig loses his voice does that mean he is disgruntled?

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[Frenchy]

View attachment 16575

I got this one! And quite happy because probably many won’t

 

[MikeH]

I got this one! And quite happy because probably many won’t

It just means you are old.

 

[Frenchy]

It just means you are old.

Its a Dad jokes thread, what would you expect?

 

[shadowboxer]

Its a Dad jokes thread, what would you expect?

What do you mean?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_youngest_birth_fathers

 

[UnicornHunter]

My back yard is chicken proof.
It's impeccable.

 

[Simonka]

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

What’s a DJ’s favorite food?





Beets

 

[Frenchy]

What’s a DJ’s favorite food?





Beets

i gave you a sympathy like for this one
Really, not terrible enough

 

[AMcguyver]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I’ll let you know.

 

[just4fun]

I met a frog once who could jump higher than a two story house. It’s not that impressive really since house can barely jump.

 

[MikeH]

I met a frog once who could jump higher than a two story house. It’s not that impressive really since house can barely jump.

This is a perfect dad joke; makes you laugh and at the same time hating yourself for laughing.

 

[Frenchy]

 

[IchigoDave]

View attachment 16597

My G_d! Frenchy is actually getting good at this dad joke thing.

 

[Frenchy]

My G_d! Frenchy is actually getting good at this dad joke thing.

Errr no. I was hoping for some help

 

[IchigoDave]

If I do not like eggnog does that mean I am eggnogstic?

 

[Sudsy]

Well, I've finally gotten sick of the inactivity and resulting weight gain from limited activities during covid, and I've started doing lunges to get back in shape.

It's a big step forward.

 

[shadowboxer]

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

 

[shadowboxer]

Do redheads also have red pubes?

Only periodically.

 

[Frenchy]

Do redheads also have red pubes?

Only periodically.

ah ah, really terrible this one
Love it
Will tell it to the offspring when she has friends around

 

[AMcguyver]

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

 

[shadowboxer]

ah ah, really terrible this one
Love it
Will tell it to the offspring when she has friends around

I am sure this will leave a lasting impression.