Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a typo on a headstone?

a grave mistake

 

[shadowboxer]

How do you deal with the fear of speed bumps?

You slowly get over it.

 

[Sudsy]

What do you call a typo on a headstone?

a grave mistake

I object!

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/terrible-dad-jokes-thread.25270/page-15#post-282536

 

[IchigoDave]

I object!

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/terrible-dad-jokes-thread.25270/page-15#post-282536

Overruled! There is enough of a difference between the two jokes.

 

[MikeH]

Soon we will have all the jokes numbered and then you can just shout "142!" and everyone laughs.

 

[Nikkei Guy]

I quit my job as a treadmill tester

I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere

 

[Nikkei Guy]

Does anyone want a pack of dead batteries?

They’re free of charge

 

[Frenchy]

Soon we will have all the jokes numbered and then you can just shout "142!" and everyone laughs.

I would still not get them, sadly

 

[just4fun]

I would still not get them, sadly

Here, maybe this is easy.......

 

[just4fun]

 

[Sudsy]

Objection!

The classic definition of a Dad joke is that it has a simple, yet horrific, pun of some kind.

But do you know when a joke truly becomes a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

 

[just4fun]

Objection!

Fair court. I can't remember what i had for dinner so mistakes by me are common.

 

[MikeH]

Fair court. I can't remember what i had for dinner so mistakes by me are common.

I have two measurements I use to deem if I am fat or old. If I can't see my dick when standing up I am fat and if I cannot remember what dinner means then I am old.

So you should also be A OK still.

 

[Sudsy]

It's funny how old habits die hard.

I started shaving my head a few years ago when my hairline started receding, figuring that it was a more graceful approach than trying to mess about with a combover.

Funny thing, though, is that I still carry my old comb in my back pocket. I just can't part with it.

 

[MelissaAnne]

Who can drink 20 litres of gasoline without getting sick?

Jerry can.

 

[Majestyk]

Happy Father’s Day!

 

[AMcguyver]

At first I thought my new chiropractor wasn’t any good but now I stand corrected.

 

[UnicornHunter]

Did you hear about the pig that lost its voice?

I heard it was disgrunteled.

 

[IchigoDave]

Doctor: sir, your DNA is backward

Patient: AND?

 

[Durg50]

Doctor: sir, your DNA is backward

Patient: AND?

Thats a good dad joke!

 

[Sudsy]

 

[UnicornHunter]

I'm so excited my accupuncturist is here today! I'm literally on pins and needles!

 

[namae]

Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a magician that loses his magic?

Ian

 

[Sudsy]

What do you call a magician that loses his magic?

Ian

Objection!

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.