Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[just4fun]

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[IchigoDave]

Have a Mars bar.

 

[just4fun]

 

[Majestyk]

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes, but isn’t a dad?

A faux pa.

 

[Sudsy]

My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who has taken to sunbathing topless in her backyard.

Personally, I’m on the fence.

 

[MikeH]

Personally, I’m on the fence.

Hopefully with your fancy camera equipment.

 

[just4fun]

 

[Sudsy]

I started working at a large wildlife crematorium

Now I’m urning the big bucks.

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[shadowboxer]

What’s a corpse’s favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency.

 

[just4fun]

 

[shadowboxer]

Cremation is my last hope for a smoking body.

 

[just4fun]

 

[AMcguyver]

I’m addicted to buying old Beatles albums.

I need Help!

 

[Sudsy]

Okay, so... I just got this robocall.

"Congratulations! You have won one of two prizes... $500 of shopping vouchers... or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act.”

“To claim your prize... press 1 for the money or 2 for the show..."

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[Sudsy]

I saw a fellow gaijin on the street begging for change.

I wasn't in any hurry, so I grabbed a seat at the nearby Starbucks to watch him for a bit and see what was up.

After a couple of hours, he got up, walked down some the side street so I followed, and saw as he hopped into a Volvo with embassy plates.

I tapped on the window before he drove off.

"I saw what you were doing," I told him. "Taking advantage of naïve people and stealing their hard-earned money."

"Ja," he replied. "Och vad i helvete ska du göra åt det?"

Of all the people to run into... a Scamdinavian.

 

[Frenchy]

View attachment 17025

yeah, we also have a town called Condom , they are well protected

 

[IchigoDave]

yeah, we also have a town called Condom , they are well protected

In the state of Pennsylvania there is a city called Intercourse. There is also a city called Paradise. To get to Paradise you have to go through Intercourse.

 

[MikeH]

"Taking advantage of naïve people and stealing their hard-earned money."

That was easy to know as you saw the embassy plates.

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[AMcguyver]

Whenever I try to eat healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.

 

[Sudsy]

So my wife left her PC unlocked the other day, and I happened to notice she had her Christmas shopping list out.

Looks like I'm getting a reversible jacket.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.