Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[IchigoDave]

Why aren’t there more casinos in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.

 

[IchigoDave]

My uncle had two Dobermans that he named Timex, and Rolex.

They were his watch dogs.

 

[Sudsy]

Did you hear about the big Lego sale?

People were lined up for blocks.

 

[AMcguyver]

If you build a man a fire, you’ll keep him warm for a couple of hours.

If you set a man on fire, you’ll keep him warm for the rest of his life.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

It’s 5 minutes walk from my house to the pub.
It’s 35 minutes walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.

 

[MikeH]

An engineer I know installed a too powerful motor in to a moving stairway.

That escalated quickly.

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[just4fun]

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[just4fun]

 

[just4fun]

 

[Karbon]

 

[just4fun]

 

[Frenchy]

Love it!

 

[IchigoDave]

I am reading a horror story in braille.
Something bad is about to happen.
I can feel it.

 

[Jimmy Chu1969]

I am reading a horror story in braille.
Something bad is about to happen.
I can feel it.

 

[Jimmy Chu1969]

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

 

[IchigoDave]

I went to McDonald’s today and ordered two large fries, but the bastards gave me lots of little ones.

 

[just4fun]

 

[just4fun]

My Boss told me that part of my duties of being a security guard is I have to watch the office.
I’m on season six, but I don’t really know what that has to do with being a security guard!

 

[shadowboxer]

How much does an influencer weigh?

An instagram.

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[just4fun]

 

[Sudsy]

Guys, can we cut it out with the memes? The whole point of dad jokes is that they're word based.....

All these memes are like that restaurant on the moon.

Great food.

Great view.

No atmosphere.

 

[MikeH]

A baby seal walked in to a club.