Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[TheLetterD]

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?


A walkie-talkie.

 

[Cinnabums]

The blind pervert enters the fish monger, hello girl's!

 

[Maxblack]

The blind pervert enters the fish monger, hello girl's!

?

 

[Cinnabums]

?

Some things shouldn't be translated, it was originally told in a heathen language.

In that language pussy often smells like fish.

 

[shadowboxer]

Some things shouldn't be translated, it was originally told in a heathen language.

In that language pussy often smells like fish.

Din fitta luktar fisk.

 

[MikeH]

Din fitta luktar fisk.

Eller din fisk luktar fitta. Men det går bra om det inte är surströmming.

 

[Cinnabums]

Eller din fisk luktar fitta. Men det går bra om det inte är surströmming.

Har en känsla av att du kanske sett Fem myror är fler än fyra elefanter?

 

[Sudsy]

Eller din fisk luktar fitta. Men det går bra om det inte är surströmming.

Eller Hákarl.

 

[TheLetterD]

I asked 100 people what LGBTQ stands for, but no one could give me a straight answer.

 

[MikeH]

I asked 100 people what LGBTQ stands for, but no one could give me a straight answer.

But what is LGBTQ+? Is it like Disney+ that when you pay more you get access to more quality content?

 

[just4fun]

 

[TheLetterD]

National diarrhea awareness week starts tomorrow. It runs until Friday.

 

[Sudsy]

My 15-year-old son, a high school stirent, has stopped doing his homework when he doesn't like the subject or the teacher, or when he thinks it's stupid, and he's now failing two classes.

I decided to have a talk with him.

I went to his room, sat down, and opened with, "Som, regarding your grades - I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."

He promptly replied with, "Hi Disappointed, I'm Son."

 

[TheLetterD]

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.


And then there is a lot of fall out.

 

[Cinnabums]

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

 

[TheLetterD]

I started a night club for people with erectile dysfunction.

It was a flop and nobody came.

 

[scorpioni6ths]

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.

But then the librarian told me to take it out.

 

[just4fun]

 

[just4fun]

 

[MikeH]

Before crowbar was invented the crows drank at home.

 

[TheLetterD]

Before crowbar was invented the crows drank at home.

View attachment 20767

 

[MikeH]

I just heard it on radio today, they did not tell it was stolen from @just4fun

You know the thing that has people inside talking? Probably half of guys here have no idea.

 

[TheLetterD]

What do Bostonians call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.

I got fitted for a neck brace in January. I haven't looked back since.

I used to think orthopedic shoes were a waste of time until I got them. I stand corrected.

 

[just4fun]

 

[impish]

A young man and a young woman meet for their first date. The man asks the woman, so what do you like to do for fun?"
"I like to tell dad jokes" she responds.
"Well does he laugh?" he asks.