Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[AMcguyver]

Whatʻs the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

 

[Durg50]

Whatʻs the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

Not a bad joke but i fear for the future of any child hearing this from their dad.

 

[Frenchy]

More like Dads’ pranks ...

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-dads-parenting-fails/

 

[NAM1]

Life is getting harder these days
This post made me laugh

 

[AMcguyver]

More like Dads’ pranks ...

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-dads-parenting-fails/

Good thing wife and I decided to stick with just cats. If I were a dad, I’d probably be guilty of doing each of these.

 

[Frenchy]

Good thing wife and I decided to stick with just cats. If I were a dad, I’d probably be guilty of doing each of these.

well I did some of them, or similar. should have taken the pics!

 

[Tabanico]

So at karaoke yesterday my friends begged me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe

 

[Sudsy]

So at karaoke yesterday my friends begged me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe

You monster.

 

[Tabanico]

Thanks.

(bows)

 

[Nikkei Guy]

Not sure if this is a dad joke, but I got a good laugh from it.

knock knock

who’s there?

I eat mop

I eat mop who?

You eat your poo? Eww, that’s gross

 

[Sudsy]

So at karaoke yesterday my friends begged me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe

Speaking of karaoke, lately my favourite girl refuses to go to with me.

I have to duet alone.

Back on topic, you filthy animals!

 

[Simonka]

So at karaoke yesterday my friends begged me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe

 

[rikkun]

So at karaoke yesterday my friends begged me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe

And after all, you kept on singing.

 

[Frenchy]

And after all, you kept on singing.

... and Sally could wait

[ah no sorry, wrong song, but that’s an involuntary Dad’s joke I guess so I leave it].

 

[AMcguyver]

How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?

Itʻs not hard.

 

[Sudsy]

Found out something interesting today.

Most Western countries have a colour code for garden gnome hats based on the height of the gnome.

What's really interesting is that the codes vary wildly depending on country of manufacture, and there's only one commonality:

In every single country, the shortest gnomes have red hats.

Seriously.

It’s a little gnome fact.

 

[just4fun]

 

[Sudsy]

So I had some trouble at work this morning.

Because I'd been working from home so long, my laptop was missing some critical updates.

Because I was missing those critical updates, the firewall was blocking my access to the system.

But because the firewall was blocking my access to the system, I couldn't download the updates!

Fortunately, our support tech is a pretty sharp guy.

He thought for a minute, and then renamed my PC to "Titanic".

And now it's syncing!

 

[AMcguyver]

What do you call it when you have your mom's mom on speed dial?

Instagram

 

[Frenchy]

What do you call it when you have your mom's mom on speed dial?

Instagram

aaaaand I don’t get it

 

[Frenchy]

- O namae wa?
- Dolmades.

Aaaaand... I think hard.... yet I don’t get it either

 

[MikeH]

Aaaaand... I think hard.... yet I don’t get it either

*insert an insult to French general intelligence and knowledge of other cultures here*

It's dolma in Middle East and dolmades in Greece; which would make a middle easterner introducing it as "dolma desu" in Japanese thus making her sound like she is from Greece.

But the real question is where in Tokyo you can get them?

*But then again maybe only Terrible Dads would get Terrible Dad Jokes thus making you a Good One?*

 

[Frenchy]

It’s Dolmades, Dolmas, or Dolama in different etymologies, and a popular dish in Balkan, Central Asian and Middle Eastern cuisine

Thanks! ( and apologies for my ignorance... quite impressed with Mikey’s deep knowledge though.. maybe he’s Bulgarian or sthg? )

 

[Simonka]

Thanks! ( and apologies for my ignorance... quite impressed with Mikey’s deep knowledge though.. maybe he’s Bulgarian or sthg? )

Or maybe Romanian. Speculation never ends

 

[Sudsy]

Thanks! ( and apologies for my ignorance... quite impressed with Mikey’s deep knowledge though.. maybe he’s Bulgarian or sthg? )

Or maybe Romanian. Speculation never ends

MikeH - The True International Man of Mystery.